Filed under: Abandonment, Alcoholism, Birth Order, Movies About Growing Up in Divorce
The Boys are Back is an Australian movie about a man whose second wife dies leaving him with his 6-year old son to raise alone while in the middle of grieving. The entire vibe of the household changes as the single Father sets up house the way he thinks is fitting. And then into this commotion his English first wife sends their son over to visit. The Father hasn’t seen this son in 8 years (I might have the years wrong).
The marquee outside the movie theater said this is based on a real story which is believable because, although in the end all problems seem to have been solved (which is unlikely because no Father who is that good looking is going to be single for such a long time) the relationships and the way the emotions come out really does seem genuine. The feelings of the children is explored. This isn’t just another film about an American parent who has to think of some way to make his child useful to his life. The older son from the divorced older family is clearly left out of the picture, feels like the oddball out for a very long time in the story and the Father confronts these feelings. He confronts his absentee Fathering. There’s no denial. The Father takes an active role as a parent rather than letting the relationship slide. So I guess it really is make-believe because that just doesn’t happen in real life.
Although death and divorce are talked about in one breath together in real life they are really so much different, especially for the kids. Death brings finality. The grief involved has to do with coming to terms with complete loss. Divorce brings complete loss of secure family (which can’t be discussed), feelings of failure, guilt, trying to fix things, false hopes, maybe relief (although the only people I’ve ever heard say this were shrinks), and just general dis-ease and awkwardness that one has to get used to.
Anyway, this is probably the only movie that I remember being able to relate to on an emotional level. Maybe that’s because I’ve experienced both Divorce and Death of parents. At any rate, it will make you laugh. It will make you cry. And it will make you wish you could live in the Grandmother’s house which is so cool.
Filed under: Bad Children of Divorce, Birth Order, Courts, Possible Personality Traits of Children of D., Prostitution, Violence, money, separate households
Between Apr. 10 and April 16 three women were bound and robbed in Hotel Rooms in Boston, Massachusetts and Rhode Island. They had all advertised as masseuses on CraigsList. One of the victims, Julissa Brisman, was shot multiple times and subsequently murdered. The other two women survived. 23 year old medical student Philip Markoff has been traced to all 3 attacks and is currently being held in jail. A gay man is also said to have contact with Markoff through an email (news about that is sketchy right now).
The media is going on and on about Markoff’s impending marriage which was to be held in August. It sounds as if Markoff’s family history is quite strained as well and, although, I can’t find the full picture, this is what I’ve figured out so far. The information may change. One thing is certain: Markoff is a Child of D.
People are blind sided by Markoff’s Double Personality. (Why are people never blind-sided by a Double Childhood that results from growing up in a Divorce?) Markoff is described as being very nice, clean cut, sort of nerdy (there’s that nerdy description again applied to a Child of D).
As an aside, I’ve tried to find information about Markoff’s alleged victims’ childhood status to see if they also were from Divorce. His alleged Murder victim, Julissa Brisman, had the same last name as her Father while her Mother’s last name is given as Guzman so there is a possibility that Julissa’s parents are divorced. In that case, it is not surprising that, like Markoff, Julissa led a double life. Her friends, apparently, had no idea that she worked as a masseuse. Children of D grow up as involuntary voyeurs of sorts. They witness much behavior in their families that can’t be discussed with anyone else due to extreme emotional behaviors, secrets, allegiances, betrayals, loyalities that it is not surprising to see how double lives can manifest later in life. Innocence doesn’t exist for Children of D. Distorted sense of lack of positive authority figures also is lacking. In a very few people this experience of childhood into extremely advanced states of consciousness and wisdom. In others it can cause problems as the child continues to show signs of normalcy to the outside world. And who knows? Maybe Markoff (assuming he’s guilty of course) is just a bad egg.
It would be interesting to know whether or not Markoff’s fiancee is from a Divorce or Intact family just for comparison’s sake but she’s going through enough Hell right now and doesn’t need any more scrutiny.
Markoff’s parents were divorced when he was very young. I don’t have an age. Right now I just know that it happened before he was 5 years old because that’s when his Mother gave birth to his sister who was his Step-Father’s child.
I’ve read that Markoff’s Father, Richard Markoff, is a Dentist so that probably puts Markoff in a wealthy class on his Father’s side. I’ve read that his Mother is or was a Casino worker. That definitely means that his Mother is not wealthy. If it’s true it paints a much different attitude toward money in that household and that Markoff would have constantly tried to reconcile two great schisms of class into his life (all the while trying to grow up). Children of D often grow up in two completely different financial classes. One can pretty accurately assume that the poor parent expresses great resentment over the other parent’s financial status. Even if that doesn’t happen, the child is a witness who is stuck in between. This can create detachment and just plain old weird behavior.
Markoff has an older brother, Jon, from his parents’ marriage. It seems that Jon is his closest relative. News reports showed that the Brother spent the most time visiting with Markoff in jail. Siblings in Divorce often have to take over as supports. One might imagine that Markoff’s parents probably can’t stand each other and are adding to the tension for Markoff. Anybody who has endured bringing both parents together for family “celebrations” like graduations and weddings knows how tense those situations are. Imagine if you’ve just been stuck in jail for murder and need emotional support from self-absorbed parents. At any rate, the Rich Dentist Father is probably so tired of hearing from the Mother about financial support problems that he’s not about to help his kid out here (my assumption about situation which is hopefully wrong).
Both of Markoff’s parents reportedly have remarried which means that Markoff was blessed with Step-Parents on both sides. Maintaining a sweet, nerdy disposition was probably Markoff’s greatest survival tool during childhood. He made everyone comfortable and was well liked for never making a fuss.
Markoff’s older brother reportedly moved in with his Father and Wife while Markoff lived with his Mother and her Husband. Don’t know what age.
When the oldest child moves out this can possibly show a couple of things. Who knows if they apply in Markoff’s case. First thing to think about is that the household that the only child is leaving is problematic. Second, the younger sibling will go through feelings of rejection, loneliness and grief over having been left behind. There could have been money problems, addictions, gambling, lack of compatibility.
By Age 5, Markoff had a younger half-sister through his Mother and Step-Father. So there are birth order changes as is typical of step-families.
Markoff’s Mother is said to have split from his Step-Father four years ago. Her last name at the time was Carroll. I heard on a News Cast that her current last name is Haines so perhaps she has remarried or perhaps the media just couldn’t get the all the family mish-mash information straight.
Either way, it looks right now as if Markoff’s Mother’s 2d divorce would have occurred in 2005. This is the same year that Markoff is said to have met his Fiancee. I believe he would have been around 19 years old.
Source: http://www.boston.com/news/local/breaking_news/2009/04/alleged_craigsl.html#commentshttp://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2009/04/26/2009-04-26_suspect_and_victim_led_secret_lives_med_student_gambled__actress_gave_massages.html?page=0
Filed under: Birth Order, College Drop Out, Exemplary Children of Divorce, High School Drop Out, Mentally Ill parents, Movies About Growing Up in Divorce, Nutrition, School Drop Out - High School or College, creativity, self injury
Johnny Depp gave an incredible performance of an oldest Son growing up while living with a helpless, obese, single mother and younger brother in the movie: What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?
Probably not really good Holiday Viewing, though. Just happened to think of it right now.
Johnny Depp is a Child of D. His parents would have divorced around the time that Depp was 15. Here’s an except from his biography on Wikipedia.
Depp was born in Owensboro, Kentucky, the son of Betty Sue Palmer (née Wells), a waitress, and John Christopher Depp, Sr., a civil engineer.[3] He has one brother, Danny, and two sisters, Christie (now his personal manager) and Debbie. … The family moved frequently during Depp’s childhood, and he and his siblings lived in more than 20 different locations, settling in Miramar, Florida, in 1970. In 1978, Depp’s parents divorced. He engaged in self-harm as a child, due to the stress of dealing with family problems and his own insecurity. He has seven or eight scars from practicing self-harm. In a 1993 interview, he explained his self-injury by saying, “My body is a journal in a way. It’s like what sailors used to do, where every tattoo meant something, a specific time in your life when you make a mark on yourself, whether you do it yourself with a knife or with a professional tattoo artist”.[8]
1980s
Depp’s mother bought her son a guitar when he was 12, and Depp began playing in various garage bands. His first band was in honor of his girlfriend, Meredith. A year after his parents’ divorce, Depp dropped out of high school to become a rock musician. As he once explained on Inside the Actors Studio, he attempted to go back to school two weeks later, but the principal told him to follow his dream of being a musician. …
Filed under: Birth Order, Possible Personality Traits of Children of D., Suicide, Violence
A couple of weeks ago a 19 year old College Student named Abraham Biggs, Jr. committed Suicide from his Father’s home and broadcast his death over the Internet. The stories don’t mention whether he was a Child of D but the fact that he was “living in his Father’s home” and text massaging his Mother indicates that the parents are separated. If I’m jumping to conclusions I will have to delete this later on. Since there have been a couple of other similar suicides broadcast over the Internet that have been connected with Divorce in the family there might be a connection.
Abraham was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and obviously wasn’t being helped by the meds — to an extreme degree — because he killed himself with them. Biggs had tried to kill himself twice before. I don’t know why the Medical profession isn’t more careful with psychiatric “treatments” but, what do I know?
The especially horrifying part of the story that is being covered in the media is the fact that the other members of the Internet forum were simply watching Abraham take the pills. They were apparently goading him on and making fun of him. I tend to think that this might be a Child of D type phenomenon. Humiliation is probably not felt as strongly among Children of D simply because they are expected to cover up and buck up under the circumstances of their childhoods. Getting swept up in hatred is a normal part of divorced family life. And asking for help? That might make a parent feel guilty or threaten a therapist’s ego who simply refuses to believe that Divorce has negative effects on Children.
For a Child of D,putting one’s problem out into the public domain is not as extreme a behavior as it is for kids from intact families. You grow up with so much more awareness of your parents’ personal problems that problems don’t seem like a private thing. The relationships, the idea that everyone is replaceable, the money bartering, the fighting, the worthlessness, the extra responsibilities, having to repress your needs for your parents’.
Something else I’m beginning to notice about kids and divorce is that the younger children seem to get pulled under from the stress much worse than the eldest or the only children. In all the cases of these Internet deaths the person committing the crime was a younger child. Siblings in Divorce usually stick together. They share a special set of secrets. When the oldest one leaves the house, the youngest have to deal with the stress by themselves. They actually act as a stable, non-strange part of the family that the eldest can always return to. The parents become the satellites who provide meals and quality time (if the kid is lucky) but are dependent emotionally and probably not considered reliable.
In this way, the youngest has to take on a lot of extra responsibility and as the youngest this responsibility is never acknowledged. There is also the possibility that, as in normal families, the youngest is spoiled with material possessions and is allowed to run around free. Just as likely, the money runs out by the time the youngest is ready for prom dresses, regular meals, cars, college. Divorce isn’t the most sensible experience from a financial standpoint unless one of the parents is just completely irresponsible and is cast out.
Either way, I hope that Abraham Biggs, Jr. will rest in peace. I don’t wish his Parents anymore insults if they are indeed Divorced. They certainly don’t need it right now. But in the event that the parents were split I would like to raise awareness for others that this may be a problem for other kids.
******
The other American Webcam Suicide that I found was also a Child of D. Brandon Carl Vedas, Age 21, who committed Suicide publicly on the Internet on Jan. 21, 2003 in Phoenix, AZ. His parents were divorced and both were remarried. His older brother has set up a very nice memorial website for him.
An Englishman, Kevin Whitrick, hanged himself while being goaded over the Internet through a webcam on Mar. 21, 2007. I can’t find information about his childhood. Whitrick was a 42 year old Engineer, Divorced with 12 year old twins. Apparently he was upset over his Father’s recent death.
There was a 3d death which was listed on Wikipedia but I couldn’t come up with any information regarding the family.
Filed under: Abandonment, Birth Order, Movies About Growing Up in Divorce, Possible Personality Traits of Children of D., money
Frozen River, a Sundance Film Festival Grand Prize Winner, is an incredible movie about two women who come together as single mothers during the Hellish week after one is left by her gambler husband who has left his family in dire straights. They meet as Ray (abandonned wife) is trying to locate her husband at the local Casino. Lila is the other woman, a Mohawk who is wondering around pretty much an empty grief stricken shell because her husband died and her baby was taken away by his Grandmother (allowed in Mohawk society). The women meet as Lila steals Ray’s husbands’ car which is hardly a typical introduction for friendship but manages to transform into that. Lila has been working with smugglers to transport illegal aliens across the Canadian/New York border. She tricks Ray into working with her.
The story is mostly about the two Women and is set into a social back drop of poverty, addiction, racism, conflicting cultures, smuggling, illegal immigration. That’s a full load already and pretty amazing since the story centers mostly around the characters’ personal problems.
Ray’s two children, a 15 year old son and a 5 year old are very sensitivitely portrayed. The oldest son is given huge amounts of responsibility for someone his age, typical of Children of D, as he takes care of his younger brother and rather woefully tries to come up with the money lost by his Father. His brother is too young to pay much attention. You don’t see these boys out with their buddies. They hang out together and with the TV. If you live constantly with the anxiety and threat of loss of a parent or your house you are less likely to be able to go out and play.
Repression of Rage and Desperation are constantly seething below the surface of this movie and toward the end dissolve into a really wonderful redemption for all characters. I’m no movie critic but the acting seems to be awesome all around and I suspect that the Direction is stunning.
Really great movie.
Link to LA Times review:
http://www.calendarlive.com/movies/reviews/cl-et-river1-2008aug01,0,2791629.story
rozen River, a Sundance Film Festival Grand Prize Winner, is an incredible movie about two women who come together as single mothers during the Hellish week after one is left by her gambler husband who has left his family in dire straights. They meet as Ray (abandonned wife) is trying to locate her husband at the local Casino. Lila is the other woman, a Mohawk who is wondering around pretty much an empty grief stricken shell because her husband died and her baby was taken away by his Grandmother (allowed in Mohawk society). The women meet as Lila steals Ray’s husbands’ car which is hardly a typical introduction for friendship but manages to transform into that. Lila has been working with smugglers to transport illegal aliens across the Canadian/New York border. She tricks Ray into working with her.
The story is mostly about the two Women and is set into a social back drop of poverty, addiction, racism, conflicting cultures, smuggling, illegal immigration. That’s a full load already and pretty amazing since the story centers mostly around the characters’ personal problems.
Ray’s two children, a 15 year old son and a 5 year old are very sensitivitely portrayed. The oldest son is given huge amounts of responsibility for someone his age, typical of Children of D, as he takes care of his younger brother and rather woefully tries to come up with the money lost by his Father. His brother is too young to pay much attention. You don’t see these boys out with their buddies. They hang out together and with the TV. If you live constantly with the anxiety and threat of loss of a parent or your house you are less likely to be able to go out and play.
Repression of Rage and Desperation are constantly seething below the surface of this movie and toward the end dissolve into a really wonderful redemption for all characters. I’m no movie critic but the acting seems to be awesome all around and I suspect that the Direction is stunning.
Really great movie.
Link to LA Times review:
http://www.calendarlive.com/movies/reviews/cl-et-river1-2008aug01,0,2791629.story
Filed under: Birth Order, Exemplary Children of Divorce, Healing, Myths, Stepfamilies
The Greek Myths are a great resource for learning about Children of D and Step-Family Hell. The Myth of Hercules is a great example.
This is a story about philandering Fathers, Jealous & Powerful Step-Mothers, Loss of Birthright, Dealing with Enemies, and finding Redemption. The story of Hercules’ 12 Labors, or 10 Labors, is often told. The evils that Hercules had to conquer are often retold, the Nemean Lion, the Apples of Hesperides, the Hound of Hades, these are common stories. The motive behind the story is not talked about. That would upset the parents and the therapists.
Hercules, in a fit of madness induced by his jealous step-mother, killed his wife and children and withdrew from the world. In order to redeem himself he had to defeat a list of demons that were decided for him by his worst enemy, the step-brother who usurped his birthright to be King. This was Hera’s son.
Here’s part of the Wikipedia article:
The framing narrative
Zeus, having made Alcmene pregnant with Hercules, proclaimed that the next son born of the house of Perseus would become king. Hera, Zeus’ wife, hearing this, caused Eurystheus to be born two months early as he was of the house of Perseus, while Hercules, also of the house, was three months overdue. When he found out what had been done, Zeus was furious; however, his rash proclamation still stood.
In a fit of madness, induced by Hera, Hercules slew his wife, Megara, and their three children. The fit then receded. Realizing what he had done, he isolated himself, going into the wilderness and living alone. He was found (by his cousin Theseus) and convinced to visit the Oracle at Delphi to regain his honor. The Oracle told him that as a penance he would have to perform a series of ten tasks, or labors, set by King Eurystheus, the man who had taken Hercules’ birthright and the man he hated the most.
Hercules never became King but according to some of the myths he did become immortal for being such a hero. This is a great story to study and to gain wisdom and inspiration from in order to survive how lousy family life can be.
Here’s another summary of his story, slightly different from the Wikipedia entry:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Greek-Mythology-Hercules:-The-Mortal-Who-Became-A-God&id=37435
Filed under: Alcoholism, Birth Order, Books, Stepfamilies, Suicide, self-absorbed parents, separate households | Tags: Drug Abuse, Half-siblings, Successful Children of Divorce
Liza Minelli is the daughter of Judy Garland and Vincent Minelli. She was 5 years old when her parents were divorced. Lorna Luft is 6 years younger and is the Daughter of Judy Garland and Sid Luft. She was 9 when her parents Divorced and 16 when her Mother died. Both have been interviewed extensively about their childhoods, their Parents’ Marriages and Divorces and their Mother. The two half-sisters don’t seem to have a close relationship. This is a comparison of what they’ve said about their parents’ divorces.
Liza Minelli’s description of growing up in Divorce:
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1285/is_1_34/ai_112482981
- IS: Talk about feeling naked! You’re actually very good at showing how vulnerable we all are. Do you think your parents” divorce when you were little had anything to do with that?
- LM: It gave me two wonderful outlets. My mother was an artist and highly strung, whereas my father was much calmer. He wasn’t like that on the set–evidently, he was Caesar on the set [Sischy laughs]–but at home he was sensational, and so was Mama. But Mama was stricter: I had to wear this and I had to do that. She was really kind and loving, but I used to be so happy to go to my father’s house. He was looser, and he fed my dreams.
- IS: How?
- LM: Well, I would go over to my dad’s house on a Saturday, and I would tell him everything, and I’d ask his advice. At the age of 6 or 7, I was like, “Well, what should I do?” And he’d say, “Do what you think.” Which made me realize that I had to think for myself. He would always talk to me like a very sensible human being. And then after he’d lay something like that on me, he’d say, “Who do you want to be today?” And I’d look at him and say, “Spanish dancer.” And he’d say, “All right.” And we’d get in the car and drive to Rexall on La Cienega and Beverly Boulevard, and we would buy crepe paper and a big box of safety pins. Then we went home, and because he’d been a wonderful costume designer and set designer in Chicago and in New York for Radio City Music Hall, he would create a Spanish dancer’s dress on me. He would pin the crepe paper with the safety pins and change my whole world. And when he was finished he would sit down and look at me and tell me how beautiful I was, and how wonderful, and then he’d say, “Liza, what does a Spanish dancer do?” And I would say, “Dance.” And he’d say, “Yes,” and he’d put on the music, and it was always the right music. I don’t know when he found the time to find the right music for what I had wanted to be, but he did, and suddenly I could dance, and I could find a whole world of dreams and the possibility of becoming somebody else. I’ve said it before, but it’s absolutely true: My mother gave me my drive, but my father gave me my dreams. Thanks to him, I could see a future.
Lorna Luft, younger half-sister, wrote a book, Me and My Shadows, about growing up in the same household. This is from Booklist review on Amazon:
- Luft, often identified as Judy Garland’s “other daughter,” steps center stage to describe what life was like as the child of an icon. For the first nine years of her life, Luft was protected from the vagaries of her mother’s prescription-drug abuse and downward-spiraling mental health. But after her parents’ divorce, Luft found herself in the role of chief cook and bottle washer–in charge of cleaning up her mother’s messes. The horror stories from this period include breakdowns, breakups with almost everyone who was close to Garland, paranoia, and even knife-wielding episodes in which Garland went after her young son. After Luft had her own breakdown at 16, she left her mother’s home and never saw Garland alive again. Despite all the horror, Luft is kind to her mother’s memory, seeing the star as sick, not evil, and remembering all the many loving times shared between mother and daughter. Sister Liza Minelli doesn’t fare quite as well. Although Luft has many nice things to say about her, Liza’s drug abuse has left the pair estranged. Oh, yes, Luft had her own life, too, but not unexpectedly, her affairs with even the likes of Burt Reynolds and Barry Manilow and her own drug problems don’t make for nearly as fascinating reading as her tales of Judy and Liza. Dishy–and sure to be popular. Ilene Cooper
There are many interviews out there by Lorna Luft discussing her parents. I like this one in particular:
- “You don’t really know your parents until you are in your 40’s,” she said.
- “In your 20’s you have no idea, in your 30’s you start to get to know them and in your 40’s you have had some of the experiences they had and it is just a natural understanding that comes from being this age.”
from www.aussietheatre.com/news.htm “Growing up Garland: Lorna’s incredible Life.”
Judy Garland died of a drug overdose at Age 47. She had attempted Suicide previously.
Filed under: Abduction, Alcoholism, Bad Children of Divorce, Birth Order, Custody, Mentally Ill parents, Parents and their Dates, Suicide, money, self-absorbed parents, separate households
Marlon Brando’s troubled Son, Christian, passed away yesterday in Los Angeles, California. He had been hospitalized for pneumonia. Christian was 49 years old. May he Rest in Peace.
Christian was the eldest of Brando’s nine children. His Mother, Anna Kashfi, was also an actress. She separated from Brando when Christian was 5 months old and the couple divorced on Apr. 22, 1959 (can’t vouch for any dates here). The couple remained in a custody dispute over Christian until 1972 when Kashfi abducted the 13 year boy and took him to Mexico. She was sent to jail and subsequently lost all chance for custody. His Mother had drug and alcohol problems.
Christian dropped out of High School and held minor acting jobs. As can be expected he had emotional problems and ended up killing his sister Cheyenne’s boyfriend while arguing over whether the boyfriend had beaten his pregnant half-sister. He spent 5 years in jail for the murder. Cheyenne gave birth to the baby but hanged herself at Age 25. Christian was recently divorced for violent behavior to his wife and her daughter.
This is a description of his childhood from www.astrotheme.com. (Date of parents’ separation is different from one mentioned in obituary in newspaper (www.mercurynews.com):
Kashfi turned to barbiturates and alcohol and the couple divorced a year after Christian’s birth in May 1959. Christian was passed between the two as their relationship became more and more hostile and abusive. The author Nellie Bly claimed that “When the Brandos quarreled, Anna displayed a ‘frightening’ rage,” and that “Anna left baby Christian alone in her car parked on Wilshire Boulevard while she confronted Brando in his office, ‘beating at him with her fists, in a frenzy of rage.” There was a protracted custody battle between Kashfi and Brando until he eventually won custody of Christian aged 13 after an incident when Christian was taken out of school to Mexico by Kashfi without Brando’s consent.
Christian had little good contact with his father, being raised by nannies and servants, moving between Hollywood and the private island near Tahiti. A reluctant witness to his father’s sexual exploits and bizarre behavior, Christian complained that:
“The family kept changing shape, I’d sit down at the breakfast table and say, “Who are you?””
Birth Order in Blended Families isn’t discussed much, is it? There’s so much discussion about it in Normal Families. The kids go through being wrenched apart from their families and then slammed get tossed into the new family. It’s a free for all for a while and then New Birth Orders start popping out like Lucky Lotto Balls. Who comes out the Winner is anybody’s guess, maybe. The Brady Bunch made Blended Families look like Shopping At Tiffany’s. Who wouldn’t want a Divorce after watching a season of that shit?
In my family this simply promoted the eldest to super power status. There was only energy and money for the family to help the oldest ones. As the girl and the youngest I went through another demotion. My situation wasn’t normal as my Father married my best friend’s stepmother, we were the same Age. My step sister and I had been equals, in my eyes at any rate. We stopped talking pretty much. Later on she told that she had been so jealous of me she would have done anything to make sure I never amounted to much. It worked. Also, it made those weekly dinners together even more awkword. At any rate, I didn’t come from a normal version of this family blending thing. I never lived with them. Funny thing I don’t think I’ve ever had a friend from a divorced family who did either. All I know is that it strikes me as odd when parents complain when things don’t go smoothly in these families.
But, anyway, Birth Order. Who gives a shit about this once the Birth Family is ripped to shreds? Today’s Dear Abby or Ann Landers had a whole response section about people being left out of activities in families. One Trained Seal got on and bragged about how everyone in her family is equal. This is simply a sign to me that she belongs to what was The Conqueror Family during Blending Days and her situation was socially improved by the arrangement. Meanwhile, she had a relative who had been murdered. The entire family grieved together at the funeral when each one put a rose on the road kill’s grave and she thought this was an expression of family togetherness of feeling. Honey, you weren’t grieving. Putting a rose on a grave is a gesture, it’s not grief. Grief is a very deep, complex feeling that lasts for, in your case, at least a week but also up to five years depending on the depth of loss of the griever. Grief is the loneliest feeling in the world.
