Filed under: Alcoholism, Exemplary Children of Divorce, Health, Household Pets, Raised by non-relatives, Uncategorized
In 1937, his parents divorced and he was passed from relative to relative before being returned to his alcoholic father, experiences that profoundly shaped his life. ‘A nomadic existence made Nature my companion of choice, because the outdoors was the one part of my world I perceived to hold rock steady. Animals and plants I could count on; human relationships were more difficult.’
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2006/oct/01/usa.science
Sociobiologist Edward O. Wilson whose parents divorced when he was 7 years old found a creative outlet for his expression through the life style brought on by his parents’ divorce. The year of the divorce he was blinded in one eye during a fishing accident. The eyesight in his other eye began to lose vision and he began to lose the ability to hear in the upper registers, so lost the ability to hear bird songs.
Because he obviously is incredibly adaptable (and adaptable) he continued his love of the observation of nature by focusing on the study of insects later on in college. They were small and could be observed close up.
Filed under: Abandonment, Alcoholism, College Drop Out, Exemplary Children of Divorce, Foster Children, Raised by non-relatives, creativity
“Once upon a midnight dreary”
was written by a Child of D. I suppose it makes sense…
Last week’s New Yorker magazine published an article about Poe’s life called “The Humbug” written by Jill Lepore.
(http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/atlarge/2009/04/27/090427crat_atlarge_lepore)
Edgar Allen Poe was born to an actress. A year after he was born his Father left. Two years after Poe was born his Mother died. Poe and his siblings were separated and Poe was raised by a wealthy merchant and his wife. He was never adopted by these people. It seems that wild swings in financial fortunes and power plays dominated the household of Poe’s childhood and Poe was out on his own by the time he was 17.
He also had drinking and gambling problems from very early on. Financially strapped, Poe joined the military for a while and then attended West Point. He wrote for money. It seems he moved around a lot. His love life seems equally difficult. The women in his life seemed to have suffered illnesses and to have passed away. At age 27 Poe married his 13 year old cousin. The marriage lasted about 12 years before Virginia, his wife, died of tuberculosis. Poe died at Age 40.
Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edgar_Allan_Poe
Filed under: Abandonment, Raised by non-relatives, Violence, indifferent parents
On Friday night James Harrison and his 16 year old daughter found their wife/mother in a store with another man. The wife is said to have argued with Harrison and told him that she was leaving him for this other man. On Saturday afternoon the neighbors called the police to check on the Harrison’s five children. The police found the 5 children in their home, shot dead. Harrison later killed himself.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090405/ap_on_re_us/children_slain
This is probably a common attitude towards the children in a marriage that is falling apart. It’s great when the media reports these stories because the Psychology community likes to keep them private.
The Yahoo article linked to says that Harrison had a controlling personality and was often heard yelling at his kids. Mrs. Harrison had 1st become pregnant when she was 13.
From the little that I can tell of these people’s lives I can say this is a good argument for using birth control and for bothering to continue to parent kids when they are in their teens so that they don’t get caught making mistakes that they won’t be able to handle later on in life.
It would also be great if parents who are planning on leaving their spouses make plans to get their children out of the house before making the Big Announcement. This is something that one needs to put some thought into. If the spouse is abusive the behavior will only direct itself in ten times worse ways towards the kids after he/she is dumped. Being dumped hurts even if you’re an abusive jerk. Leave the kids with relatives or friends or neighbors. Do not leave them with the dumped parent. Do not let them see their parent in that state.
Filed under: Exemplary Children of Divorce, Mentors, Raised by non-relatives, Uncategorized | Tags: Exemplary Children of Divorce
I’ve found my first openly outed Child of D from off the Guardian’s Top 100 Intellectuals (2005)! Honest to God, I was about to give up, this is so time consuming.
Clifford Geertz, anthropologist, Child of Divorce. Divorce didn’t phase him a bit. Attribute this either to good genes or to the fact that he was passed off at Age 3 to be raised by a 60-year old “Foster Mother” named “Nana. Early on he realized that he was highly intelligent and that this would be his ticket out. In High School Geertz wanted to become a writer. At Age 17 he joined the Navy in World War II. And then went directly to College where he found an inspiring teacher who helped him develop.
I know nothing about Anthropology (am having a major backspace dance with spell check trying to get the word spelled out correctly.) According to this obituary (unfortunately Mr. Geertz passed away in 2006) http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4158/is_20061103/ai_n16824591. Geertz wrote the “Most famous single essay in anthropology which sounds a bit like a fore-runner to a Chuck Palachiuk novel. It’s called “Deep Play: Notes on the Balinese Cockfight.” This is supposed to be an excellent example of a concept developed by Geertz called “Thick understanding.”
Geertz was married twice and divorced once. He spent much of his life living in other cultures, most notably in Indonesia and Morocco.
Filed under: Alcoholism, Books, Exemplary Children of Divorce, Mentally Ill parents, Movies About Growing Up in Divorce, Raised by non-relatives, Uncategorized
Augusten Burroughs wrote about the very popular story about his life after his parents’ divorce in Running with Scissors. His Mother was mentally ill and with the aid of her psychiatrist went completely over the edge. Burroughs went to live with the psychiatrist and his family and then bounced back and forth between the Psychiatrist’s house and his Mother’s. Haven’t read the book but saw the movie which I didn’t like very much. Crazy families are really difficult to portray “realistically.” Especially considering how much was going on in Burrough’s life at the same time. The absent Father, the crazy Mother, the crazy Family, the obnoxious authoritarian psychiatry, the molestation, and the Coming Out. It should have been filmed in the format of a perpetually exploding bomb.
Here’s a Burroughs quote from a Washington Post article about the book and talking about his childhood:
“I thought people would be bored by it, honestly,” Burroughs says. “Bored or just . . . so put off. You can’t even really describe the book without it seeming X-rated. I spent a lot of years not telling people about my childhood, because I was embarrassed or ashamed. People who grew up in nice families and went to Ivy League schools — to me that’s what’s shocking. I’m riveted by stories like that: ‘Really? You still talk to people you knew in high school? You’re on speaking terms with both your parents? Tell me more.’ “
(http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn?pagename=article&node=&contentId=A19023-2002Jul29¬Found=true)
Burroughs’ Mother is a poet and his Father was head of the Philosophy Department at University of Massachusetts (now passed). Burroughs has one older brother. Age 13 Burroughs was sodomized by the 33 year old guy who lived behind the psychiatrist’s house. At some point soon after, Burroughs dropped out of High School. Eventually he started working for an advertising company and worked his way up into Copy Writing. He developed serious addictions problems and wrote about his alcoholism in Dry.
At Age 19, changed name from Chris Robinson to Augusten Burroughs. Around Age 36, publishes memoir. Has written a number of best-sellers since.
The Psychiatrist’s family sued for mis-representation in 2007.
Filed under: Alcoholism, Exemplary Children of Divorce, Mentally Ill parents, Raised by non-relatives, Stepfamilies, Suicide, money, self-absorbed parents
Jack London is the famous writer of White Fang and The Call of the Wild. One is a story about a wild dog who is taken in and tamed and the other is about a tame dog who becomes wild. You can see the Children of Divorce theme all the place in these themes.
London was born in San Francisco, California to a professional Astrologer and a Spiritualist in the late 19th century. His birth was unwanted. His Father abandonned his Mother when she announced her pregnancy. She had suffered a childhood illness which left her weak both physically and mentally. She resented London’s presence and passed his upbringing over to an ex-slave. She remarried and Jack London took his stepfather’s name. That couple had two children. London was taken out of school at the age of 10 and put to work for 10-12 hours a day. Eventually he found the Public Library and educated himself. After owning his own fishing boat and losing it among other adventures, London returned to High School and graduated. He went to college for a year but dropped out due to financial problems.
London was the most commercially successful writer of his time. He was married twice, once divorced and had 2 daughters. He considered his 2d wife to be his soul-mate. London was an Alcoholic and a womanizer and he was accused of plagiarizing some of his works. He tried his hand at owning a Ranch and failed. Already suffering from Kidney Failure, London either overdosed on his medication or committed Suicide at the age of 40.
