Filed under: Aging parents, Aging Step-Parents, Blame, Death of a Parent, Denial, Favoritism by Parents, indifferent parents, Inheritance & Wills, Long Term Fallout, self-absorbed parents, separate households, Shrinks, Stepfamilies
Lawyers just do as they are told. If a ten times divorced rich guy shows up at the office and wants to leave all his money to his 3d wife and her hamster, the lawyer will write up the will that way. Rich people tend to love money and power, maybe just money. Often they don’t like their kids as much. Some people are just in denial that they’ll ever die. And, of course, there are hundreds of other stories about why children of divorce don’t receive an inheritance. Love is generally not equated with Loyalty in Divorced families the way it is in intact families.
After a divorced parent dies the grieving process for a Child of Divorce will also be different. A Will is a parent’s last words to his/her child. If there are no possessions or money this won’t be an issue. But, if no inheritance, no love, point blank. So the grieving process will bring up all the old crap from the divorce days/years/decades along with the current grieving process for a parent. Divorce is War. This is one of the many fall-outs from War usually decades after the War. Therapists don’t give a rats ass about the whole process because most therapists are 1) from intact families and 2) divorced themselves and so defensive that they will not worry themselves over this.
So, here is a start. The reviews are mixed and don’t really give much information about whether these books really are friendly to the kids. Different States have different rules and I don’t know if the books cover this. That’s why my Father maintained residency in Washington rather than California even though he had homes in both and had lived in Washington only a few years and had died in California. He wrote his will in Washington and it could have been contested in California.
Estate Planning for the Blended Family by L. Paul Hood Jr. and Emily Bouchard. (2012)
Estate Planning for Blended Families by Richard E. Barnes (NOLO Press, 2009)
Filed under: Uncategorized
Well here we go — another advisor to the President who is a Child of Divorce.
Donald Trump is now the Chief. He’s divorced. He’s on his third wife. I have no insight about him. But, if you’ll remember my other posts from a hundred thousand years ago, advisors and strategists to Presidents tend to come from Divorce. President Obama’s advisor was David Axelrod who was a Child of Divorce. George W. Bush’s advisor was Karl Rove who was also a Child of Divorce. There are so few Children of Divorce in high profile politics. It looks like a talent for strategizing and advising which comes from growing up in Divorce. Leadership maybe not as much. Once you’ve listened to both sides of a divorce you probably know everything you need to know about what makes people tick.
So, KellyAnne may not be considered exemplary but she’s having so much criticism right now I can’t diss her completely. According to Wikipedia, KellyAnne’s parents divorced when she was three years old. That’s the first Jupiter square. It has something maybe to do with breaking down boundaries, or feeling boundless, or just being able to not feel bad when you say anything to support your boss.
I believe that KellyAnne is an only child. She grew up in a house of all women. Her Mother, her Grandmother, and her two Aunts. KellyAnne has a Law Degree so she made it through College. She is married and has four children. She can talk really, really fast (maybe because she’s from New Jersey).
Stalking is common in Divorce. According to this article, “Stalking After Divorce Or Separation.”
about 30-40 percent of divorces include stalking behaviors. What does this mean for the bambinos? Hmm, I don’t have a clue. No, that’s not true. I did see a research study on children of divorce whose parents stalk from out of a Scandinavian country. I think it was Finland. I guess that along with all the other problems you listen to one of your parents talk about getting a restraining order.
The point is, if you grew up in Divorce there’s a good chance that you were exposed to this behavior. It would be good to read up on PTSD because it probably made you feel pretty powerless and over-exposed to idiotic behavior as a kid.
Filed under: Blame, indifferent parents, Long Term Fallout, Personality Types Most Likely to Divorce, Possible Personality Traits of Children of D.
Here’s an interesting article from IFLScience! called “4 Behaviors Are the Most Reliable Predictors of Divorce.” These behaviors might describe personalities of your parents if they are divorced.
The article describes the qualities are Contempt, Criticism, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling as most reliable indicators that a couple will divorce. People probably parent in a different way than they relate to a significant other so this might not indicate parenting style. But it does mean that a child from a divorce is most likely exposed to this style of relating to others themselves. So, if you find yourself feeling like a doormat, cutting people off in the middle of a conversation, feeling that your partner is a jerk in general, now you know where this comes from and that you yourself may soon divorce.
The Study was conducted by the Gottman Institute and a UC Berkeley professor, Robert Levenson, over a 14 year time span in the Midwest. Links are in the article.
Filed under: Astrology stuff, Exemplary Children of Divorce, Religion, School Drop Out - High School or College
The early 20th century in the United States was populated by spiritual and psychic gurus. Many of them apparently were phonies. One who is considered genuine was Manly P. Hall. Hall was born in Canada. His father was a dentist who he never met. His mother left him in the care of his grandmother so she could go to chiropractor school. She was a Rosicrucian which was a popular religion in California and was probably a big influence on Hall’s later work. Hall’s parents shared his last name so I suppose they were married and divorced before his first year. Halls mother left him (I think at age of 3 but am not sure) and his grandmother moved him to South Dakota. The grandmother passed away when he was sixteen. He then moved to California to either be with his Mother or with the Rosicruceans, or both. Hall had great good luck finding followers and financial backing through women donors. He published his greatest work before the age of 28.
The astrology is interesting in that it shows a big influence from the Moon. Children whose parents divorce very early during the first year will only have completed a few lunar cycles. This could set the influence of this planet in their character and destiny. The Moon can give great public attention, psychic abilities and sensitivity, and also influence from women, Home, food, babies, and childbearing. The Moon represents the Mother so I wonder how that figured in his life. Hall’s book, “The Secret Teachings of all Ages,” was published during his first secondary progressed lunar return. It has never gone out of print.
Filed under: Uncategorized
For some reason this list of movies and books popped into my head. They are mostly about Mothers from Divorce and their daughters and they all came out in the 1970s or earlier. They are great movies but all show a negative side of divorce and growing up with a single parent. That’s the purpose of drama, after all. To creative dramatic tension in order to provide a psychological catharsis. Modern movies are forced to sugar coat and censor everything so nobody bothers to write them let alone watch them.
“Mildred Pierce” stars Joan Crawford as a middle class mother in the depression and her two daughters. Her husband lost his job and left her for a wealthy woman. She struggles to find a job and eventually build a successful business so that her daughters can maintain their social status. Her youngest daughter dies and her oldest daughter is a spoiled snob who becomes a successful singer and then steals her Joan’s boyfriend.
“Neon Ceiling” stars Lee Grant as a Mother in a terrible marriage who packs up her teenage daughter and leaves. The car breaks down in the middle of the desert and the two develop an interesting relationship with the mechanic who fixes the car. So, some scary commentary about girls and Mommys boyfriend.
“Rachel, Rachel” stars Joanne Woodward as a grown daughter of a widowed Mother. Cant remember anything about the story except that it scared me as a child so you can watch it and let me know.
“The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man in the Moon Marigolds” also starred Joanne Woodward. It is a play written by Paul Zindel. Incredible tension of two daughters growing up with a single mother.
Steven King’s “Carrie” stars Sissy Spacek as the repressed child of divorce who goes ape face at the senior prom.
Filed under: Uncategorized
“We don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents.”
Was TV painting guru “The Happy Painter”talking about family or about painting? Probably both.
I was delighted to find that Ross was a Child of Divorce. His situation was unusual. From what I’ve read on the Internet, and don’t quote me because I could be wrong, Ross’ parents split when he was 1 1/2. They married other spouses and then separated from those spouses and remarried each other. I can’t find what age Ross was when they remarried. Somewhere I read that this happened before he hit his teen years. Ross had one half-brother.
The first Venus Return happens around age 1 1/2. That’s a pretty good signature for an artist especially when in conjunction with the Sun as it is in Ross’ chart. This conjunction also makes a significant 8 year cycle in a person so it would being interesting to know if the parents’ remarriage occurred at either Age 8 or Age 16.
Ross dropped out of school in the 9th grade, perhaps as a symptom of divorce stress, maybe for another reason. He worked for his father doing carpentry where he sawed off part of a finger. At Age 18 Ross joined the Air Force where he worked for twenty years. He said something to the effect that he had screamed so much in the military that he had no desire to scream ever again. This reflects his mellow TV person where he claims that painting is easy and can be done by anyone. While in the Air Force Ross started painting a quick technique in Oils where he could knock off 2 paintings at lunch and go back to the base and sell them. He started his how-to TV show in 1981. This became a successful business where he sold not only his paintings but art supplies and instructional materials.
Ross was married twice. The first marriage ended in divorce and the second marriage ended when his wife passed from Cancer. Ross had two sons from his first marriage and one son from his second marriage.
Bob Ross passed from Lymphoma when he was 52. It looks from the following link like there were some problems between his son and his estate, https://www.reddit.com/r/OutOfTheLoop/comments/3rtpvu/what_happened_to_steve_from_bob_ross_the_joy_of/
. Don’t really want to mention but this but it’s a reality for a lot of children of divorce.