Spoiled Children of Divorce


Successful Women More Likely To Get a Divorce

An article, “Top jobs lead to divorce for women, but not for men” at World Economic Forum (weforum.org) discusses how successful women are more likely to get divorced than successful men. Variables leading to this are discussed in the article. Couples are less likely to divorce if they share parental leave, for example. They almost got around to discussing the effects of this on the kids… If a child’s parents are successful probably the child doesn’t see much of them so I guess divorce isn’t that big of a deal for them, is it?



U.S. Census Data on Child Support

The U.S. Census does extensive work to track what kinds of financial support children receive from separated parents. It looks like the latest tabulated results are from 2015. Can’t say I can interpret them very easily but appreciate reading all the different categories. I think that non-custodial parents spend as much on gifts as they do on food. And, either way, that might not be much.

I remember the check coming sometime in the middle of the month. I remember being called Child #2 and my older brother was called Child #1. I remember the bartering over who will get the tax deductions this year. I remember being left alone in the house with boxes of cereal and gallons of ice cream to eat. I remember eating from my Mother’s doggie bags from her dates. I remember my Step-Mother bragging about how decadent the restaurant was that she and my Father had recently eaten at. I remember my Step-Sister ordering the Lobster to screw my Father out of his money.

https://www.census.gov/data/tables/2015/demo/families/p60-262-tables.html



Bullying

Here is an article on Sibling Bullying from CBC radio called “Sibling Bullying has the Greatest Impact says Parenting Expert.”

Disdain, shunning, exclusion… feeling it?

“Bullying is about getting pleasure from someone else’s pain – from isolating them, verbally tormenting them or…physically assaulting them.”

The initial pain of getting bullied may go away, says Coloroso. “But humiliation never goes away. And we now know that sibling bullying has the greatest impact.”

I suppose one could expect bullying from step-siblings and parents to be ten times worse but I also suppose the parenting experts wouldn’t agree with me. One subject I wish could be studied would be birth order among step-children and recombined families. Maybe can’t be done.



Exemplary Children of Divorce – Ludwig Bemelmans

Wonder if there is a correlation between Children of Divorce and Children’s book writers. Just found a great article on Artsy.com about the writer of the Madeleine books, Ludwig Bemelmans. And, I’ve also read that the writer of “The Lonely Doll” books and Edward Gorey were children of divorce. I remember reading about Madeleine’s appendicitis when I was a child.

According to the article, Bemelmans had a very emotionally difficult childhood. He was born in Italy in 1898 and his Father ran off with a mistress in 1904. Daddy left both his wife and Bemelmans Nanny pregnant. The Nanny committed suicide and Bemelmans moved to Germany with his Mother because that’s where her family was. That is a huge amount of loss all at one time, including one’s innocence about how the world works. I’d like to say that back then no one would have paid attention to how a child feels about such situations but, in reality, they still don’t.

When he was 16, Bemelmans moved to New York City and worked in Hotels. His parents had run a hotel before his Father left. It’s interesting that Bemelmans never actually lived in France where the Madeleine books take place. He based his story on postcards which his Nanny had shared with him. Evenutally a co-worker saw his sketches and suggested he become a illustrator. His first children’s book was published in 1934 and Madeleine won a Caldecott medal in 1940.

Bemelmans married twice and had children from both marriages.



How Do Children Feel About Their Step-Fathers?
June 14, 2019, 2:41 am
Filed under: step-, Step-Fathers, Stepfamilies

A U.S. Census Bureau article discusses a study of how Stepfathers are identified by their step-children. Men’s Fertility Report claims that in the United States 4 Million men live with children of a spouse or partner. 1.8 Million of those do not also live with their own biological or adopted children. The study found that 59.9 percent are identified by their step-children as a step-father. 40.1 percent do not. Younger children are less likely to identify their step-fathers as step-fathers than older children. I’m not certain what this means exactly. It could show what percentage of children adapt to their step-father’s presence or are socialized into calling them by their role title.



Child Custody Battle is Allegedly Reason for 2015 Roden Family Murders in Ohio

After about 3 years’ investigation law enforcement arrested 4 family members for the 2015 murders of 8 family members in Ohio. At the time it seemed obvious that the murders were drug related as pot farms were found at three of the four homes where victims were found.

Daily Beast article here.

Instead, guess what? It was a custody battle. The lives of three of the children living in the homes were spared. Their parents and grandparents were murdered execution style while they slept. The alleged murderers are from the Wagner clan:  George “Billy” Wagner III, Angela Wagner, George Wagner IV, Edward “Jake” Wagner. They had been planned for months and then moved to Alaska after the murders. Two grandmothers were arrested as accomplices.

Jake was an ex-boyfriend of Hanna Roden. They shared a 3 year old daughter. Hanna had just given birth to a daughter 5 days before and at age 19 was one of the victims. Jake thought he was also the newborn’s father.

Remember the lyrics “You only hurt the ones you love….” Family Court is the most violent court there is. Most mass murders are family related. Apparently potheads aren’t as non violent as they are made out to be. And there isn’t as much publicity about family problems as there are about drug dealing because the press has kept pretty silent.

From the article:

“According to Governor Mike DeWine (article says DeWine is Attorny General but I don’t think that’s correct). … “‘This is just the most bizarre story I’ve ever seen in being involved in law enforcement,’ …. adding that the defendants had an “obsession” with custody and controlling children connected to the victims.”

“In April 2016, eight members of the Rhoden family—ranging in age from 16 to 44—were found shot and killed in their beds in four different homes. Three of those houses had large marijuana farms, authorities said.”

 



Step-Mother sentenced to die by lethal injection for murder of step-daughter

Stephanie Moss is a 36-year-old Atlanta woman who was found guilty of starving her step-daughter, 10-year old Emani, to death back in 2013. This is a Yahoo article and is lacking all kinds of information.

This article says that Emani’s Father was sentenced in 2015 and is facing a life sentence. He admitted to burning the 10-year old’s 32 pound body and putting it in the apartment trash cans. It seems that Tiffany is using the Judicial System to commit suicide because she didn’t retain a lawyer for her defense and didn’t speak when asked to represent herself. She will be murdered by lethal injection in June if no one comes to her defense. There is no mention of whether Emani went to school or was seen in public.

Really tragic case. Please hand your child over to Protective Services before it gets to this. I took a sociology class last year on Family Dynamics and there was a whole chapter on Divorce. Yay. I did another little research project on filicide and some research actually shows that step-parents are less likely to abuse the step-children than the biological parents. I’ve read elsewhere that police will automatically suspect a step-father in any household where a child is harmed. So, I’m not sure which is true at this point and have no clarity on this issue whatsoever.