Spoiled Children of Divorce


What Happens On Your Wedding Day?

This is a very touching story. A woman named Brittany was being walked down the aisle on her Wedding Day by her Biological Father. Her Father stops and runs back to ask Brittany’s Step-Father to help walk her down the aisle as well. The Step-Father is in tears.

The story does not sugar coat the divorce and the custody disputes and the contentious relationship between the Fathers. That kind of honesty is much appreciated. Brittany was 6 years old when her parents divorced.

Congratulations on your new life, Brittany!



Astrology Lecture on Cycles of Jupiter and Saturn in Child Development
April 8, 2017, 5:27 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Here is a great lecture with astrologer Alex Trenowith which discusses how the Jupiter and Saturn cycles affect children throughout childhood. She worked in the education field and was able to match her observations of the children with astrological cycles. This is very similar to my research which has been looking at how trauma of divorce affects children (but much better presented).

SFB RF Alex Trenoweth: Astrology in Education: Research
from The Kepler Conference

Kepler Conference / Alex Trenowith Lecture



Abducted Children of Divorce

Have never seen an interview on a TV show of the massive quantities of children who are abducted by a parent during a custody battle but always wanted know what their experiences were like. Guess they might do everything to avoid receiving anymore drama in life so would make for a boring interview? We used to read the “Have You Seen Me?” posts on the sides of the milk cartons. I remember feeling really jerked around when I discovered that most of the kids are custody abductions. Makes me wonder if abducted children tend to be lactose intolerant.

The FBI calls this phenomenon “Domestic Custodial-Motivated Child Abductions” and talks about it here: https://leb.fbi.gov/2013/august/domestic-custodial-motivated-child-abductions. It seems the children learn early on about retaliation and threats in relationships. The FBI gives examples of actual abductions and law enforcement’s heroic role in fetching them. The children in the examples are all babies so they don’t remember it. (Astrology-wise, that gives super power to the Moon in a natal chart — nobody wants to hear the astrology. So what. Means that they probably love milk, though)

The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children says that 6 percent of the 20,500 missing children cases in 2016 were domestic abductions. 90 percent of the missing children cases were endangered runaways. They don’t say how many runaways are from single parent families. Of the runaways, one in six were probably abducted into the sex trafficking trade. 86 percent of those were in the care of Social Services. There is no mention of whether they were from single parent households. The link for this info is here: https://leb.fbi.gov/2013/august/domestic-custodial-motivated-child-abductions.

Much of the Statistics I want are supplied on the blog The Fatherless Generation. Don’t know if this information is accurate. It’s absolutely terrifying though.
https://thefatherlessgeneration.wordpress.com/statistics/.

Okay, so you know that you are loved and wanted. Many Children of Divorce are just in the way or grow up knowing that they are a burden. And, yes, some have it all figured out and are spoiled rotten.

In the end, most Children of Divorce are not from either of these situations. Nobody knows what they are feeling because nobody ever asks and in order to survive they have had to suppress their own feelings about the situation. This keeps the pharmaceutical industry in business and is probably why there is no good art anymore. Just my opinion, of course.



Estate Planning Help for Families of Divorce

Lawyers just do as they are told. If a ten times divorced rich guy shows up at the office and wants to leave all his money to his 3d wife and her hamster, the lawyer will write up the will that way. Rich people tend to love money and power, maybe just money. Often they don’t like their kids as much. Some people are just in denial that they’ll ever die. And, of course, there are hundreds of other stories about why children of divorce don’t receive an inheritance. Love is generally not equated with Loyalty in Divorced families the way it is in intact families.

After a divorced parent dies the grieving process for a Child of Divorce will also be different. A Will is a parent’s last words to his/her child. If there are no possessions or money this won’t be an issue. But, if no inheritance, no love, point blank. So the grieving process will bring up all the old crap from the divorce days/years/decades along with the current grieving process for a parent. Divorce is War. This is one of the many fall-outs from War usually decades after the War. Therapists don’t give a rats ass about the whole process because most therapists are 1) from intact families and 2) divorced themselves and so defensive that they will not worry themselves over this.

So, here is a start. The reviews are mixed and don’t really give much information about whether these books really are friendly to the kids. Different States have different rules and I don’t know if the books cover this. That’s why my Father maintained residency in Washington rather than California even though he had homes in both and had lived in Washington only a few years and had died in California. He wrote his will in Washington and it could have been contested in California.

Estate Planning for the Blended Family by L. Paul Hood Jr. and Emily Bouchard. (2012)

and

Estate Planning for Blended Families by Richard E. Barnes (NOLO Press, 2009)



Exemplary Children of Divorce – KellyAnne Conway
February 20, 2017, 3:06 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Well here we go — another advisor to the President who is a Child of Divorce.

Donald Trump is now the Chief. He’s divorced. He’s on his third wife. I have no insight about him. But, if you’ll remember my other posts from a hundred thousand years ago, advisors and strategists to Presidents tend to come from Divorce. President Obama’s advisor was David Axelrod who was a Child of Divorce. George W. Bush’s advisor was Karl Rove who was also a Child of Divorce. There are so few Children of Divorce in high profile politics. It looks like a talent for strategizing and advising which comes from growing up in Divorce. Leadership maybe not as much. Once you’ve listened to both sides of a divorce you probably know everything you need to know about what makes people tick.

So, KellyAnne may not be considered exemplary but she’s having so much criticism right now I can’t diss her completely. According to Wikipedia, KellyAnne’s parents divorced when she was three years old. That’s the first Jupiter square. It has something maybe to do with breaking down boundaries, or feeling boundless, or just being able to not feel bad when you say anything to support your boss.

I believe that KellyAnne is an only child. She grew up in a house of all women. Her Mother, her Grandmother, and her two Aunts. KellyAnne has a Law Degree so she made it through College. She is married and has four children. She can talk really, really fast (maybe because she’s from New Jersey).



Is One of Your Parents a Stalker?
February 20, 2017, 2:42 am
Filed under: Stalking, Uncategorized

Stalking is common in Divorce. According to this article, “Stalking After Divorce Or Separation.”

http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/abusiverelationships/a/stalking.htm

about 30-40 percent of divorces include stalking behaviors. What does this mean for the bambinos? Hmm, I don’t have a clue. No, that’s not true. I did see a research study on children of divorce whose parents stalk from out of a Scandinavian country. I think it was Finland. I guess that along with all the other problems you listen to one of your parents talk about getting a restraining order.

The point is, if you grew up in Divorce there’s a good chance that you were exposed to this behavior. It would be good to read up on PTSD because it probably made you feel pretty powerless and over-exposed to idiotic behavior as a kid.



4 Horsemen of Divorced Parents?

Here’s an interesting article from IFLScience! called “4 Behaviors Are the Most Reliable Predictors of Divorce.” These behaviors might describe personalities of your parents if they are divorced.

http://www.iflscience.com/editors-blog/4-behaviors-are-the-most-reliable-predictors-of-divorce/

The article describes the qualities are Contempt, Criticism, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling as most reliable indicators that a couple will divorce. People probably parent in a different way than they relate to a significant other so this might not indicate parenting style. But it does mean that a child from a divorce is most likely exposed to this style of relating to others themselves. So, if you find yourself feeling like a doormat, cutting people off in the middle of a conversation, feeling that your partner is a jerk in general, now you know where this comes from and that you yourself may soon divorce.

The Study was conducted by the Gottman Institute and a UC Berkeley professor, Robert Levenson, over a 14 year time span in the Midwest. Links are in the article.