Spoiled Children of Divorce


Exemplary Children of Divorce – Meghan Markel

American Actress, Meghan Markel is engaged to marry Prince Harry of England in May. Both are Children of Divorce. Meghan was six years old when her parents split. Harry was eleven when his parents split and twelve when his Mother died.

Marriage can be a complicated event for Children of Divorce. All events are more complicated because there are so many more people to think about. Meghan’s Father lives in Mexico and will walk her down the aisle. Meghan didn’t invite many members of her Mother’s extended family. Some gave some really insulting interviews right after the announcement. Yahoo article here.



Talking About Mental Health

Here’s an interesting discussion. Olympic Swimmer Michael Phelps discusses his problems with Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal feelings. He talks with David Axelrod who talks a bit about his Father’s Suicide which he said he never talked about with anyone for 30 years. (In astrobabble terms, that’s a Saturn Return. Saturn rules the Father and also Depression). Neither interviewer or interviewee discusses being Children of Divorce. The stigma is just that strong.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/michael-phelps-helping-others-with-depression-light-years-better-than-olympic-gold/CBSnews. Michael Phelps discusses mental health.



Exemplary Children of Divorce – Mark Manson

Here’s an except blogger Mark Manson wrote about his parents’ divorce in The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. Completely different from my own experience. Manson writes a blog giving dating advice and has published an article called “It’s not our parents’ fault” which doesn’t discuss Divorce at all.

from pp. 52-55

“And just when I had finally cleaned up my act and turned in my assignments and learned the value of good clerical responsibility, my parents decided to get divorced.

“I tell you all of this only to point out that my adolescence sucked donkey balls. I lost all of my friends, my community, my legal rights, and my family within the span of about nine months. My Therapist in my twenties would later call this ‘some real traumatic shit,’ and I would spend the next decade-and- change working on unraveling it and becoming less of a self-absorbed, entitled little prick.

“The problem with my home life back then was not all of the horrible things that were said or done; rather, it was all of the horrible things that needed to be said and done but weren’t. My family stonewalls the way Warren Buffet makes money or Janna Jameson fucks: we’re champions at it. The house could have been burning down around us and it would have been met with, ‘Oh no, everything’s fine. A tad warm in here, perhaps–but really, everything’s fine.’

“When my parents got divorced, there were no broken dishes, no slammed doors, no screaming arguments about who fucked whom. Once they had reassured my brother and me that it wasn’t our fault, we had a Q&A session — yes you read that right — about the logistics of the new living arrangement. Not a tear was shed. Not a voice was raised. The closest peek my brother and I got into our parents’ unraveling emotional lives was hearing, ‘Nobody cheated on anybody.’ Oh, that’s nice. It was a tad warm in the room, but really, everything was fine.

….

“When ‘real traumatic shit’ like this happens in our lives, we begin to unconsciously feel as though we have problems that we’re incapable of ever solving. And this assume inability to solve our problems causes us to feel miserable and helpless.

“But it also causes something else to happen. If we have problems that are unsolvable, our unconscious figures that we’re either uniquely special or uniquely defective in some way. That we’re somehow unlike everyone else and that the rules must be different for us.

“Put simply: we become entitled.

“The pain from my adolescence led me down a road of entitlement that lasted through much of my early adulthood.

….

“My trauma had revolved around intimacy and acceptance, so I felt a constant need to overcompensate, to proe to myself that I was loved and accepted at all times. And as a result, I soon took to chasing women the same way a cocaine addict takes to a snowman made out of cocaine: I made sweet love to it, and then promptly suffocated myself in it.

“I became a player–an immature, selfish, albeit sometimes charming player. And I strung up a long series of superficial and unhealthy relationships for the better part of a decade.

“I was often unemployed, living on friends’ couches or with my mom, drinking way more than I should have been, alienating a number of friends–and when I did meet a woman I really like, my self-absorption quickly torpedoed everything.



Humanitarian Jerry Lewis Disinherits His Kids From His First Marriage

Hey, as long as psychologists ignore the fallout of coming from a divorced family and lawyers make their money off of the arrangements, this is a situation that will never be addressed. Sigh, people who grew up in Divorce are so used to being rejected and ignored and poor this really doesn’t matter (too much). The lawyers only take on cases where they know they will get paid. Lawyers do pro bono for politically correct situations which will further their career.

Second/third/fourth/90th wives and their children are never, ever gracious enough to set things right. Best to blame those kids for the shit their Father dished out. The will is the parent’s last message to his/her children. This type, so common, do dear, is as bad as it gets.

Comedian/Actor Jerry Lewis died in August at age 91. The news says that he was surrounded by family but doesn’t indicate which family. The news always also make a point out of saying that the one child, a grown daughter, from Lewis’ second marriage will inherit everything, even though she’s “only” adopted. That’s really rude and I’m very sorry she has to read that. The first marriage lasted 36 years and the second marriage lasted 34 years.

So here we go. Kids from divorce are disinherited by their parents. Same old, same old. This time it’s a super successful rich guy who is known for his humanitarian work. That’s an extra twist. Don’t know what Divorce rates are of parents of kids with muscular dystrophy but it might be high. Here’s an article about high divorce rates among parents of children with special needs. Hopefully, being from a “first family” has never disqualified any of Jerry’s kids from receiving some of his charitable contributions.

Lewis died of heart disease which is associated with mental illness like depression which can make an old guy even grumpier so I suppose the kids have a lawsuit in there somewhere, especially since their Father made almost all of his money while he was married to their Mother and not the Step-Mother. You would think.

I’m not making much sense here. This kind of thing makes me so angry. But here it is, over and over and over. And the shrinks stay silent……



Are You Happy & Optimistic Even Though Your Parents’ Behaviors After the Divorce Were Off the Charts?
June 30, 2017, 6:30 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Researchers in the U.K. found that having a sister will make you happier and more optimistic, especially if you come from Divorce.

Tony Cassidy and Liz Wright figured this out somehow. Don’t know how they possibly could have thought to ask about Divorce because no one ever does. Maybe that’s only in the U.S.

He said: “Sisters appear to encourage more open communication and cohesion in families. However, brothers seem to have the alternative effect. Emotional expression is fundamental to good psychological health and having sisters promotes this in families.”
Girls who had sisters also tended to be more independent and keen on achievement, according to the findings.
The effects were stronger among children from broken homes, suggesting that sisters might lean on each other more for support when their parents divorce.

“Having a Sister Makes You Happier and More Optimistic, Say Psychologists.” by Kate Devlin. Apr. 2, 2009. The Telegraph.co.uk.



What Happens On Your Wedding Day?

This is a very touching story. A woman named Brittany was being walked down the aisle on her Wedding Day by her Biological Father. Her Father stops and runs back to ask Brittany’s Step-Father to help walk her down the aisle as well. The Step-Father is in tears.

The story does not sugar coat the divorce and the custody disputes and the contentious relationship between the Fathers. That kind of honesty is much appreciated. Brittany was 6 years old when her parents divorced.

Congratulations on your new life, Brittany!



Astrology Lecture on Cycles of Jupiter and Saturn in Child Development
April 8, 2017, 5:27 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Here is a great lecture with astrologer Alex Trenowith which discusses how the Jupiter and Saturn cycles affect children throughout childhood. She worked in the education field and was able to match her observations of the children with astrological cycles. This is very similar to my research which has been looking at how trauma of divorce affects children (but much better presented).

SFB RF Alex Trenoweth: Astrology in Education: Research
from The Kepler Conference

Kepler Conference / Alex Trenowith Lecture