Spoiled Children of Divorce

Why Be Wrenching?
November 15, 2007, 5:06 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

When I was 14 my parents got divorced and my life collapsed into utter Hell. Having been through the requisite “years of psychotherapy” so that I could “Get Over It,” I’m confident in saying that psychology and psychiatry don’t recognize the stress of growing up in a divorced family. I personally think that this is a little like saying that the Holocaust didn’t happen. The Holocaust Survivors didn’t all go nuts, most remained silent and went on with their lives. The Psychologists want 50%  drewlers & screamers before announcing to the World that batting kids back and forth between households like a bunch of ping-pong balls is bad for the kids. The kids can’t afford to complain.  The kids just wait to turn 18 so they move out.

What I’m doing on this blog, “Whiner” that I am, is trying to gather together and study what little literature exists about growing up in a Divorced Family. I’m part of the Baby Boomer generation. At least half of the families in the town where I grew up split during the mid-70s and although I only remember hearing really awful stories from the kids from the divorced families, we’ve all remained strangely mute. Most of my friends in adult life have just “not wanted to go there.” Childhood ends at Divorce. Divorce ends at Age 18 when Child Support stops. Since we lost our parents young we are used to relying on the parasitic service industries like Lawyers and Psychologists and New Age Healers for guidance. Thank God for the X-ers and Y’s who are starting to speak up about what really happened.

I’ve named this blog after “A New Age Healer” who referred to her Boyfriend’s problem son as a “Spoiled Kid from Divorce.” Where does this mean attitude come from? How can people stay so blind to what’s going on in the families? It’s those damn double Christmas presents attracting so much jealousy. Too bad the Normal Kids didn’t have to leave their sobbing, drunk, suicidal mother by herself on Christmas afternoon so that they could go hang out with their drunk Father and Step-Mother on Christmas Night. See how it feels you Normal Kids, those two presents.

I’m an amateur Astrologer and have found a strange connection between the ages that kids are when their parents get divorced and how it often influences their development later on. There are also some other indicators that so far seem to be good predictors of how well the kids will cope. I hope to eventually be able to use this information to help kids who are trying to grow up in these situations. I don’t know how much astrobabble I’ll use here, hopefully not much, but take this as a warning that there may be some reference to planets and astrology. I have noticed that Kids from Divorced Families are pretty hip about Astrology and much more astute about human behavior than the Normal Kids. They also tend to have grown up being used as Family Shrink and Therapist by their parents and are completely burned out on hearing people’s problems and, as a result, aren’t often involved in the Psychology professions very much. I assume this is why there is so little information available out there for the kids.

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