Spoiled Children of Divorce


Can’t Get Over It
December 7, 2007, 10:20 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Here’s a question that someone named “Allie” posted on the Yahoo Question Board:

“I cant get over my parenst divorce?

its been 6 years. my parents are stupid and i completly hate them. i cant trust them for anything. how can i get over this? and yes i have tried killing myself many times, one time it would of worked but i weighed to much. please help.”

http://au.answers.yahoo.com/answers2/frontend.php/question?qid=20071117192757AAlyjqV

Allie got about 7 answers and none of the answers asked what the Hell the parents were doing that made it so difficult for this girl to want to live.  The best answer was given by a child abuse survivor who offered a hug (?).

One answer is really common response and is based on total ignorance of what really happens when parents divorce.  Mz. Amber says:  “would you rather have two married UNHAPPY parent’s or Parents that are finally happy and feel free?”

People assume that when parents get divorced they become happy and free.  Why is that? I wonder how many divorces happen because both Parents wanted it?   Probably not that many.  The kids are usually left to take care of the abandoned parent.  Not only has the Parent just failed at Marriage but they are burdened by having a kid around.  Women in my Mother’s generation experienced a huge loss in social life and economic stability.  I assume that still exists but to a much lesser extent.  Usually at least one of the parents is addicted or mentally ill and the kid now has to cope with the scary parent by themselves. My Mother was Bipolar and would run around for days and nights without sleeping, just drinking, screaming and dancing with the stereo on.  Much later on my Father remembered how awful it was having to live with her. All that noise; you couldn’t sleep.  He was completely oblivious to the fact that his kids were still living with it and it had gotten much worse due to the stress from the divorce. Besides, he walked out with another nut job who was just as bad, although quieter…

People are attracted to the same types of losers over and over again so the kid end up with two sets of losers rather than just one set.  Mind you, I’m not against Divorce in a lot of circumstances and I realize that most people who grew up in Divorce are used to remaining silent about what went on if for no other reason than that there is no cure or answer.

And, Yes, the parents are free to move on; the kids are trapped for the rest of their lives with these impossible situations.


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