Spoiled Children of Divorce

Exemplary Children of Divorce – Chelsea Dawn Elander
January 7, 2008, 2:37 am
Filed under: Books, Exemplary Children of Divorce

My information’s really sketchy here but I believe I’ve actually found a Rhodes Scholar who will admit that she grew up in a Divorced Family. Chelsea Dawn Elander has co-written a book about Children of Divorce called Don’t Divorce Us – Advice to Divorcing Parents.  It looks like the book is out-of-print, of course.

Elander was a 2000 Rhodes Scholar.

Here’s a blurb from Amazon.com:

From the Back Cover
Don’t Divorce Us!: Kids’ Advice to Divorcing Parents “You know, I think I cared, way back when, if they got divorced or not. But I’m sick of it now. I’ve told my parents to just get it over…anything would be better than this.” – Josh, 17- year-old honors student The worst thing was not knowing and not daring to ask. It was al I could think about. They could have sat down and talked to us…It was like not telling the truth when we needed them to tell us.” – Rosie, 13-year-old “To this day I can remember how my older brother, younger sister, and I learned of the divorce…We were called together to talk about Momma and Daddy not loving each other anymore…We asked each other what we had done to cause the divorce and what we could do to keep them together.” – 50-year-old professional woman “Parents should just try to act like adults – not like fighting children. Everyone needs to have compassion and keep in mind it’s not going to be an easy trip.” – 12-year-old Don’t Divorce Us!: Kids’ Advice to Divorcing Parents examines the divorce experience firsthand through the eyes and voices of children and adult children of divorce. People from various ages, ethnic groups, and backgrounds share artwork, essays, and stories that are intimate, humourous, innocent and wise. Parents who read this book will be better able to listen, understand and help their children deal with the pain and hurt of divorce. Don’t Divorce Us! contains practical suggestions for coping with the challenges of double-households, long-distance parenting, dating, ex-spouses, stepparenting, and divorce stress.”

2 Comments so far
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Thanks for reminding us how emotionally charged divorce can be for the children affected. It is for this reason that I created the Child-Centered Divorce network for parents.

My own experience more than a decade ago led to my writing a guidebook for parents on how to create a storybook with family photos and history as a successful way to have the tough break-the-news conversation. It’s called How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook(TM) Guide to Preparing Your Children — With Love! Therapists, attorneys, mediators, educators and other professionals from around the U.S. and beyond have endorsed the book, attesting to the value of my fill-in-the-blanks, age-appropriate templates. Six therapists contribute their expertise to the book, as well.

My goal is to alert divorcing couples so they will stop, talk and create a plan before having that crucial “divorce” talk with their children. I also hope, for the sake of their kids, parents will decide to move ahead in creating a child-centered divorce. For free articles and more information, visit http://www.childcentereddivorce.com.

Best wishes,
Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

Comment by Rosalind Sedacca, CCT

Thank you for your comment, Rosalind. This looks like good therapy for the parents.

I’m trying to concentrate on the kids here though. Anything a kid has to do with a therapist is a sure sign of failure to them. They would prefer a computer game where they can imagine Mom and Dad getting back together again and living in a real house with maybe a shooting gallery of ducks with members of the stepfamilies faces on them. I’m being facetious here but I really do feel that the kids have some dark feelings that everyone is trying to avoid looking at. This is why the pop music is so dark. No more simple love songs, that’s for sure.

Comment by toothless

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