Spoiled Children of Divorce

March 7, 2008, 4:35 am
Filed under: Healing, Possible Personality Traits of Children of D., Violence

I had an opportunity to her the writer/psychotherapist, Rachel Naomi Remen, speak.  Boy, what an amazing woman.  For years various people have recommended Kitchen Table Wisdom and What My Grandfather Taught Me but I’ve never read either book.  Remen is the daughter of a Rabbi and I think she got his genes.  She is absolutely one of the most spiritual and healing people I’ve ever heard speak.  I’ve never been able to look much at Religion because I just don’t like Fundamentalists and Wars but I can see how I’m really missing something.

Remen was talking about mostly other topics but what she said about Anger is what I want to talk now.  Simply, she said that Anger is a protective barrier we put up in order to protect our Innocence.

Growing up in Divorce, a child loses so much innocence that kids from Normal Families take for granted.

In my own life, I think this began a snowball effect in the types of relationships I took on.  I began to befriend increasingly more manipulative types of personalities.  Well, this began with my step-sister who sort of used our relationship to hook her mother up with my father and his money.  Not the usual Junior High type of buddy.

I think that these people’s negativity maybe made me feel like I somehow was proving to me that I had retained some of my innocence. I wonder if this is why Children of Divorce often have higher victimization rates in crime.  I’m thinking in particular of the pregnant women in the news who have been murdered by their boyfriends/husbands (spoke about it earlier).

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