Spoiled Children of Divorce

Idolizing a Parent
March 18, 2008, 7:47 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

As I continue to listen to Chris Gardner’s story on audiobook (The Art of Happyness) I’m reminded of something that seems to never get any attention.  Kids growing up in Divorce often completely, sort of even blindly, adore at least one of their parents.  Either they think the parent can do no wrong, they empathize with the parent’s problems and want to help, they want to protect the parent.  I do remember reading about something like this in Elizabeth Marquardt’s book. I can’t remember exactly what she says but it’s something on this vein.  It’s also something that the parents never seem to acknowledge.  There’s the spoiled brat complaint, the manipulative kid complaint, the beware they’re working each other against each other complaint, but there’s never acknowledgement of how much many of the kids really do give of themselves to their parents.  I sense that the amount of really bad behavior that is forgiven these parents is astronomical.

Of course, you could DSM the brains out the parents, but this blog isn’t about the parents.

Anyway, St. Patrick’s Day.  I’m in a bitch of a mood.  This is the date that my Father left.  3/17/1974.  My future step mother came over dressed up in a green sweater and hung around with my Mother who had been really sick.  My Father walked in.  The two grinned at each other and wanted to go out to the bar.  My Mother was too sick to go so they went by themselves.  Next thing I remember the next morning my Mother sitting in her bathrobe telling me that my Father never came home.  I asked if that was legal, hahah.  Really stupid 14 year old, I admit.  At school I asked my friend (future step-sister) who said she didn’t know anything.  My Father had been at her house all night and probably many nights before that.  My Father just left and never talked about any of this.  I don’t really think about this much but since I’m doing this blog I had to say something.  The amount of shock that I went through at that time in my life was unbelievable.  It was coming from so many different angles all at once.  And the worst part was that everyone was saying “I love you.”  Ah, the California childhood…  just say it, nobody cares if you mean it.

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