Spoiled Children of Divorce


Exemplary Children of Divorce – Lisa and Laura Ling
April 18, 2009, 7:00 pm
Filed under: Exemplary Children of Divorce

Journalists Lisa and Laura Ling are sisters who were raised by their Father in Sacramento, California.  Hence, they will be included here in the Exemplaries files.  Both women are very independent and successful reporters who work mostly in foreign relations.

Lisa Ling is the eldest sister and is very well known.  According to the link listed below she was 7 years old when her parents divorced.  She began her career early in Broadcast Journalism at Age 16.  She is very well known for her many reporting duties mostly relating to International Affairs and for her work on “The View” where she gave a 20 something viewpoint.  I’ve never watched the show but some internet sources say that her Mother appeared on the show with Lisa.

I’m not sure of her age but younger sister Laura is also a foreign correspondent (edit:  Huffington Post says Laura is 32 years old, b. 1976 or 77, she’s married).  While covering a story for Al Gore’s Current TV,  she was arrested with fellow report Euna Lee for entering the North Korean borders. (Edit:  I believe that Euna Lee is 36 years old, married, with a 4-year old daughter).  The two were investigating the lives of refugees who escape from North Korea into China.  They are being detained and are said to be awaiting trial to determine their innocence or guilt.  If found guilty they will be detained in North Korean Prison camps for up to 10 years.

Please send prayers to Laura and Euna.  I’m unclear about whether anyone else in their party was detained, but apparently at least one crew member managed to escape.

http://tv.yahoo.com/lisa-ling/contributor/39224/bio;_ylt=AjKjrOLR51VWvundpZnsET2.o9EF

Father talks briefly about raising his daughters and saying that they were always independent and strong-minded.  http://www.kcra.com/news/18967738/detail.html.  He says “I always worry.”  Mr. Ling is native Chinese born and worked as an aviation supervisor for the Air Force.



Exemplary Children of Divorce – Arthur Sulzberger, Jr.
April 18, 2009, 6:13 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Arthur Sulzberger, Jr. is editor at The New York Times Newspaper.  I heard him discussed on NPR this morning as having built the newspaper up during the 1990’s and now for having run it into the ground financially.  As newspapers in general are disappearing I doubt he is responsible for the failures directly.  It sounds as if he, like other newspaper editors, hasn’t figured out a way to save the business because it is being taken over by the Internet.  In criticisms he is seen as weak.  He is said to be sort of “geeky,” and socially awkward.  (I’ve talked before about how I think that the “geek” culture is related to the “divorce boom” culture kids).  Either way, Sulzberger basically inherited the job through his family who has been in charge of The New York Times since the late 1880s.

Sulzberger’s childhood was discussed in the radio show and since he is a Child of D I’m going to mention him here.  The New Yorker has published an entire article about him here:  http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2005/12/19/051219fa_fact?currentPage=1.

Sulzberger, Jr.’s parents divorced when he was 5.  Sulzberger and his sister lived with their Mother and Step-Father.  The Mother remarried soon after the Divorce.  Sulzberger, Jr. visited his Father two week-ends a month.  When he was 14 he moved in with his Father and Step-Mother.  His Step-Mother is said to have hated him and journalists say that his motives for living with his Father were material.  Father rich, Mother poor.  Nobody questions how healthy his relationship with his step-father may or may not have been.   At some point Sulzberger, Jr’s.  Mother divorced and then remarried for a 3d time.  This was when Sulzberger was around 19 or 20 (not sure).

Sulzberger, Jr. is quoted in the article (linked to above) as saying that his attendance at Outward Bound when he was 16 saved his life.  He is quoted as openly talking about how he thought the Divorce weakened him.

Sulzberger was married for 33 years and has recently split from his wife.  They have two grown children, a son and a daughter.



Fathers Who Kill Because of Divorce
April 5, 2009, 10:18 pm
Filed under: Abandonment, indifferent parents, Raised by non-relatives, Violence

On Friday night James Harrison and his 16 year old daughter found their wife/mother in a store with another man.  The wife is said to have argued with Harrison and told him that she was leaving him for this other man.  On Saturday afternoon the neighbors called the police to check on the Harrison’s five children.  The police found the 5 children in their home, shot dead.  Harrison later killed himself.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090405/ap_on_re_us/children_slain

This is probably a common attitude towards the children in a marriage that is falling apart. It’s great when the media reports these stories because the Psychology community likes to keep them private.

The Yahoo article linked to says that Harrison had a controlling personality and was often heard yelling at his kids.  Mrs. Harrison had 1st become pregnant when she was 13.

From the little that I can tell of these people’s lives I can say this is a good argument for using birth control and for bothering to continue to parent kids when they are in their teens so that they don’t get caught making mistakes that they won’t be able to handle later on in life.

It would also be great if parents who are planning on leaving their spouses make plans to get their children out of the house before making the Big Announcement.  This is something that one needs to put some thought into.  If the spouse is abusive the behavior will only direct itself in ten times worse ways towards the kids after he/she is dumped.  Being dumped hurts even if you’re an abusive jerk.  Leave the kids with relatives or friends or neighbors.  Do not leave them with the dumped parent.  Do not let them see their parent in that state.



Women Who Kill Because of Divorce
April 2, 2009, 7:17 pm
Filed under: Alcoholism, Uncategorized, Violence

Article explaining the 6 types of women who murder their children and their motives.  Divorce is not mentioned as a cause.  How strange is that?  This is probably very common in divorced families.  My Mother tried to commit suicide several times and, after my brother left for college, was threatening to kill me because in her words it’s not worth it for a woman to live through this.  I talked about this with the first therapist I went to.  I remember how self-conscious I felt trying to cry for him as he said that he detected redness in my eyes.

Over the years my insomnia from this event has become increasingly worse, not better.  I don’t remember the events very well at all but can instantly feel the terror in my stomach as my mother was yelling that she had bought a gun from her boyfriend and was going to shoot me in my sleep.

The article below says that 600 children a year are killed by their Mothers.  This means that a much greater number is living with the constant threats the way I did.  I never really believed that my Mother would kill me and never discussed it with anyone.  It was just part of a huge set of episodes that were related to the Divorce.  (from:  http://www.expertclick.com/newsreleasewire/default.cfm?Action-Release Detail/ID-10548):

: Mothers who murder their children
Los Angeles, CA October 21 2005
More than 600 mothers kill their children each year, which gives rise to a psychological condition described as “maternal filicide,” according to a child psychologist who has reviewed the worldwide research on this topic.
“There are six major personality profiles of mothers who kill their children,” said Los Angeles psychologist Robert R. Butterworth, Ph.D. He describes what the psychological research tells us about the different types of mothers who murder their children and their possible motivations:– The Mentally Ill Mother: A woman who may be acutely psychotic, having serious psychological disturbances starting from her own childhood or her parents, which may be instrumental in causing her own psychological problem to surface. An inadequacy in handling aggression, probably originating from a disturbed relationship with the murderer’s own parents, which could include hereditary influences.
— The Retaliating Mother: A woman who is jealous of her husband and envious of the child because of the attention that it receives from others, whereas the mother may have had little or no attention in her own childhood, which leads to a disturbed, immature, nongiving relationship with the child. The filicide could be motivated by revenge, especially with male children; the mother’s anger toward the child’s father may be displaced onto the male child, who reminds the mother of the child’s father.
— The Depressed Mother: Research shows that more than a third of the mothers killed their children under the influence of depression or what could be an extended form of suicide: “I kill the one I most love — my child.” Thus a child is particularly vulnerable when a depressive illness is present. The risk becomes high when depressive illness is combined with certain types of personality structures.
— The Unwanted or Unexpected Mother: Unwanted or unplanned children, especially in countries where birth control and abortion are difficult to obtain, are more likely to suffer from maternal filicide.
— The Merciful Mother: A sick or diseased child is killed by the loving mother to protect the child from pain and suffering.
— The Battering Mother: In a fit of rage, they accidentally batter the child to death.
Other findings:
— The high frequency of altruistic motives distinguish filicide from other homicides.
— Crime statistics show that mothers are more rarely or more mildly punished for filicide than fathers.
— Mothers kill children only, but men who kill their children are more likely to kill their wives.
— Suicide or attempted suicide following the crime was also more likely with fathers.

Robert Butterworth
Director