Spoiled Children of Divorce

Allegedly Bad Children of Divorce – Tyler Hayes Weinman

Tyler Weinman is 18 years old and has just graduated from High School. He was arrested just after midnight on Sunday night for the recent gruesome killings of cats in Southern Florida. At least 33 cats have recently been found dead in the areas where Tyler’s parents live, mostly in the area around his Father’s house.

Tyler lives with his Mother in Cutler Bay, Florida.  His Father and Step-Mother live a mile or two away. Tyler Weinman is a Child of D.

Yes, Mom and Dad are Divorced and it seems that Tyler spends a lot of time trafficking between the two homes.  And his path to and fro is where the cats are dying.  Maybe it’s best if the parents live far apart so that their kids have to spend most of their travel time at the airport.  Don’t think there’s a big cat population at the airport that they can take their frustrations out on.

So this is one of the few cases where a Divorce situation is being openly discussed by the media.  And suddenly there is much discussion about how kids from broken homes are cat killers because, well, you know, it’s stressful coming from a broken home.  (Strangely, the Psychologists and the Parents don’t know about this stress, but the Police know it, the Whiners from the Intact Families who always complain about how much better their childhoods would have been if only their parents had divorced, they suddenly know it too.)

So then we have to back track. Half of all the kids running around in the United States are growing up in Divorce.  Half of all the kids in the country aren’t killing their neighbors’ cats.   (Of course, it’s difficult to read about Tyler’s life and not feel a bit of empathy for how stressful it must be.)  Tyler’s Father is remarried so at least one half of Tyler’s set of families is happy in the eyes of society.  But that brings up the discussion about how he’s obviously a sociopath because he doesn’t get along with his Step-Mother.  Mom’s life is not reported. I don’t know if Tyler has siblings.   Tyler’s father is a Dentist which indicates money.  To me that indicates a split financial situation between households and a lot of fighting over money, but the folks from the Intact Families say it’s a sure sign that:  Tyler is a Spoiled Child of Divorce.

The police are not letting out pertinent information with regards to Tyler’s case. This could be fueling the media’s early “conviction” of Tyler based on his family status.  What else are they going to talk about after all?

We don’t know if Tyler killed the cats but I suppose the police wouldn’t have arrested him if they weren’t pretty sure.  They had secretly put a tracker on his car and had been following him around for weeks, after all.  They had been staking out his Father’s house.  Tyler has been released with an ankle bracelet and a big bond payment and he will receive psychiatric evaluations.

I may have wrong information here but I believe that Tyler’s first arrest came a couple of days after the first dead cat showed up.  The neighbors immediately pointed their fingers at him.  The police didn’t find cat blood but they did find pot in his car and discovered that he was driving with a suspended license  according to this article. Then they stopped him for skateboarding at 2:00 am dressed in black.  That’s suspicious unless your only other choice is to try to sleep in a house with a screaming parent. Of course, I don’t know about Tyler’s home life.  You never, ever ask about the parents Divorce situation or mental status.  It is assumed that they mean well.

The media has incorrectly reported that Tyler was first arrested while attending his Senior Prom.  Tyler’s neighbors supposedly told the media that he was carted off while wearing his Tuxedo.  It turns out that his prom took place 3 weeks before the first killing occurred.

There’s discussion over Tyler’s mugshot which alone really does seem to convict him.  He looks pretty sociopathic because he’s smiling, smirking, as it’s being called.  But, who knows what’s going here?  Since he’s a pothead and was arrested late at night while at a party it makes sense that he was probably high.  He may have not been very lucid and he may not have been told what he had been arrested for and he may have been assuming that this was another pot charge.  Potheads always have those devastating smiles.  The photographer had probably told him to wipe the grin off his face and in his state of mind this was the best he could do.

The media is concentrating on the fact that Tyler doesn’t get along with his Step-Mother and is obviously motivated to kill cats because she has cats.  She has 9 cats which is a little OCD, IMO (and I’m a cat person).

It sounds like Tyler likes cats, anyway.  If what I read is true and sorry I don’t have a link, one of Tyler’s Mom’s neighbors says that Tyler owns a cat which he took in as a stray.  Tyler also has a girlfriend.  Or had a girlfriend.  His alleged homosexuality has come up for discussion as well as his Jewish last name.  Boy, this is really creepy.  With these attitudes I’d say that just about anybody living in South Florida would be capable of killing a cat.

I’m not saying that Tyler is innocent.  If he did these crimes then he is seriously disturbed.  But the media’s reporting of this case is even more disturbing.  Guess I’m adding to it…

Weird Children of Divorce – Carrie Prejean

Golden Girl Miss California, Carrie Prejean, has lost her Tiara. That’s what you get when you try to compete with the Tranny’s for “Most Beautiful Girl” title, Sweetheart.  The Gay men are having their way with her. That’s gross.

Prejean lost a chance to win the Miss America (or Miss USA, I don’t know which) Crown by proudly announcing to Gay Blogger and Fat Slob Emcee Perez Hilton that she said she doesn’t believe that Gay People should be allowed to get married.  That makes me first wonder, What the Hell is a Fat Slob like Perez Hilton representing the Gay Community for?  Geez, the minute people even think about getting the right to get married they just start letting themselves go.  Then I think, how can a gorgeous girl like that growing up in a liberal place like California be so narrow minded?  Especially one who is so dependent on Gay Men to make her look like a Queen.

Our Princess, Our Queen, Our Princess, Carrie has lost her Crown.  Apparently she hasn’t been showing up for her Miss California activities and today she received a letter of termination from Donald Trump.  What impresses me is that it appears that the reason why Carrie is no longer appearing is not because she bared her Christian boobies to a photographer way back when, not because she openly spoke her mind in a country which espouses Freedom of Speech, but because the Gays are attacking her childhood.  They couldn’t just drop it.  They dug up her parents’ divorce papers.  Oh yeah, baby, that’s as low as it goes, especially when you hear Carrie’s story.

And so that’s why Carrie’s appearing in this blog.  I can’t put her in the Exemplaries Section and I can’t put her in the Bad Section.  But, remember how I’ve been pondering whether female Children of D tend to get beaten up more by men?  Well, here’s another case.  Once the kid goes through that much heartbreak, that much humiliation, that much cover-up, the sewer just seems to keep looking for an inlet.

At any rate, Carrie’s parents’ divorce seems to have been nasty, really nasty. (or, actually, for California it’s pretty normal).  And it went on for a really, really long time.  Her parents used the custody battle of the kids as a reason to fight with each other for her ENTIRE childhood.  This certainly explains why she clings to  conservative and uptight values with regards to family.  She grew up in Hell. Give her a break.  Let her speak.

According to the San Francisco Examiner

Prejean’s parents divorced when she was around 1 year old.  The Child Custody fights continued until she was at least 12 years old.  The parents maybe, just maybe, stopped humiliating her just as she hit puberty.  How generous and thoughtful. At any rate, every single insult they hurled at each was recorded in court documents and among those were allegations that both the Father and the Step-Father were Gay, I think also the Mother.  Coming from a bad divorce situation myself I can only think, “So What?  That’s normal.  People always say shit like that during divorces and the kids are in the middle of it all.”

You’re Gay!

You’re Gay!

You’re Gay! (generally more derogative wording is used)

That’s normal Divorce banter.  NORMAL.

So, not only are these creepy Gay guys ignorant of what goes on in Divorce Custody battles (narcissists that they tend to be they think it’s all about them) but now they are dredging that Hell up for Prejean to go through all over again.  And all because they are jealous of her and want her title and hips and boobs (and lip gloss).

Prejean’s a Beauty Queen for Christ’s Sake!  That’s a shallow, conservative vision of women’s beauty.  In the Straight World, if you compete in those Pageants you might as well be announcing that you’re a Republican and Newt Gingrich is God.  Apparently the Gay World is just as ignorant about what goes on in Divorced families. You guys are even as far as being equally defective as far as I’m concerned.

As much as I believe that Gays should by given the right to Marriage if they really, really want to, what I’m thinking right now is —  Wow, they’re really mean and petty.  You think straight people are nasty in a divorce court? Just imagine what Perez Hilton would be like.

Oh yeah, and I checked.  Perez Hilton?  We can breathe a big sigh of relief here — not a Child of D.  Perez’s Mommy and Daddy let him sit in bed all day and watch TV and get all spoiled and depressed.  Maybe that’s why the guy has flab where his heart should be.  What the Hell is a jerk like that talking about the sanctity of Marriage for anyway?

The Cinderella Effect
June 6, 2009, 11:46 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

A link to the Wikipedia article on the Cinderella Effect which is shown through a series of studies that Step-Parents treat their Step-Children worse than their own Children and are much more likely to abuse them.

Psychologists try from time to time to dispute the reality of this problem.  One shrink called up step-parents and asked them if they had participated in various abusive behaviors.  Guess what?  They said “no.”  They hadn’t done anything wrong.  There you go, hard core Science at its best.

Why don’t these people try to confront the problem rather than to sweep it under the rug?

Exemplary Children of Divorce – Celebrities Named “Tom”
June 4, 2009, 9:08 pm
Filed under: Abandonment, Alcoholism

In my late 20s when I was dating around in desperation, looking for the perfect guy, I remember coming to the conclusion that you can’t go wrong with a guy named “Tom.”  I don’t know why that is.  The ones I met just seemed to be so much more nicer than the guys I dated, the Johns, the Harry’s, the I don’t even remember that guy’s name guy.  I would look in distant admiration at parties at the girl’s who dated the guys named Tom.  Their futures just seemed secure already.  Is there some kind of subliminal indicator in a name that suggests “In Tom We Trust?”

I’m trying to avoid talking about celebrities too much here in the Exemplaries Section because Success in Entertainment seems to be an unrealistic ambition for most of us to pursue.  Hollywood is full of Children of D.  Entertainment is probably the most realistic ambition for children of D since they can focus on Career over Family at an early age.  And it provides an escape and a creative outlet. Even so, I can’t help myself.  These Toms, they are an exemplary set of guys.

I was utterly delighted to find that the 3 Toms I could immediately think of are all Children of D.

What set off this little fantasy memory is the review I read last week-end about a biography of the singer/musician Tom Waits (sorry, can’t remember which newspaper).  Tom Waits doesn’t really seem like the ideal date guy, I sort of attribute his stability to his wife who must be an angel, but he apparently has an extremely long marriage to one person who he attributes much of his sobriety and even his success to.

According to the review (which I can’t link to, sorry, but look at Wikipedia and google around for his book) Tom Waits’ Father left his family in 1960 when Waits was 10 years old.  His Father was music loving and stayed up all night and was alcoholic.  Waits’ entire career is based on projecting this persona.  Wonder if he would have become a success if his Father had remained at home.  In many cases a kid is probably saved by Divorce from too much exposure to the “Fun” parent.

After the Divorce, Waits lived with his Mother in Southern California.  The family first lived in Whittier (Los Angeles county) and then moved South to National City in San Diego County.  I don’t know what National City is like now but in the 60s it was basically a town full of Tom Waits look-a-likes.  It wasn’t really a garden spot where you would want to raise your kids.  Waits dropped out of high school and began his musical career.

Waits has been married to his wife Kathleen, since 1980.  They have 3 Children.

Check out the lyrics from his song “Children’s Story” from the album Orphans:  Brawlers, Bawlers and Bastards. It’s a riot.  Actually it reminds me of an old Irish song my Mother used to sing to me during my asthma attacks that went something like “Oh, I never had a Mommy.  No one to rock me to sleep.  I never had a Mommy….” can’t remember the rest of lyrics, no wonder.

Next Tom I looked at was actor Tom Hanks.  Hanks’ parents also divorced in 1960.  Hanks would have been around Age 4 or 5.  Hanks and his 2 oldest siblings lived with their Father, an electrical engineer.  Hanks’ youngest brother lived with their Mother.  Both parents remarried.  Hanks Father remarried twice after that so Hanks lived with 2 step-mothers.  On the Wikipedia site he says that everyone liked each other.  He also mentions something to the effect that he didn’t feel like he belonged.  Tom Hanks is married to his second wife, Rita, and has 4 children, a daughter and son from his first marriage and 2 sons from his second marriage.

Next Tom I looked at was Tom Cruise.  Cruise’s Mother left his Father when Cruise was 12 years old.  Cruise and his sister lived with their Mother in poverty until his Mother remarried.  Cruise has a bad relationship with his Father who he says was abusive.  It seems that his relationship with his Step-Father is positive as Cruise took his step-father’s name.  Tom Cruise is on his 3d marriage and has 3 children, 2 with actress Nicole Kidman and 1 with current wife Katie Holmes.

Of these 3, I think that Tom Waits was the only High School Drop Out.  I think that none graduated from College, as much because they were following careers rather than failing at something.

As regards Religious preference, Tom Cruise is a follower of Scientology.  Tom Hanks followed several Religious affiliations through his childhood and became a Roman Catholic when he married his wife Rita.  Tom Waits on his religious upbringing:

“What was it like growing up? Did you have a strict religious background? TW: “Yeah. Had to go to church every Sunday. Wore a tie that cut off the circulation to my head. Then I discovered donuts, cigarettes and coffee when I was fourteen, and that was it for church. My mom said, “Don’t forget that there’s nothing the devil hates more than a singing Christian.” (Source: “What Do You Say To Tom Waits?” The Village Noize, by Bill Dolan. Date: Issue 14, 1993)