Spoiled Children of Divorce

Effects of Divorce – Rabbi Shmuley Boteach – Venus/Saturn
July 19, 2009, 3:49 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Here’s a link to a great article on how Divorce affects Children called “How Divorce Scars Children.”  It’s written by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach.

Boteach grew up in a Divorced home so, unlike most experts on the effects of Divorce on Children, he can discuss the problems associated with the event honestly.  His parents split when he was 8.   From what my “research” on effects of divorce on different ages of children goes Age 8 is one of the most difficult for going through a Divorce as it represents a time span between 2 important astrological influences, one is associated with parenting and the other with marriage, among other things.

At Age 8, a child is coming out of his first attempts at maturation and self-development and is developing a sense that conditional love exists in the world.  This is due to the Saturn influence.  Generally this could show a time when he is beginning to become self-reliant and take on his own sense of  authority in the world.  When stressed by an event in the family where nobody is handling authority well problems can arise in his development as he will try to take the whole situation on and to fix everyone’s problems.  This can lead to an early but unhappy maturation in his character and a very heavy emotional burden that will eventually lead to lessons on how to control others and himself.  The child will probably react to the divorce by becoming very serious or he/she will develop a cold-hearted attitude towards others.  Sharing may become a source of great insecurity.  Saturn rules Authority figures and the Father and Lessons related to Conditional Love.  One can see how an event relating to those influences will perhaps permanently scar an child who is going through his first really stressful transit of that Planet later on.  There can also be a great amount of guilt that forms as a result of a bad Saturn influence.  For example, if the child doesn’t receive a caring apology from the parents over the event then he could be hooked into an underlying anger problem later on.

On the other hand, at Age 8, the child is moving into a time of when personal values and one-on-one friendships will be very important.  One’s ego is combining with his sense of “The Other” due to a  Sun-Venus influence so he is beginning to want to share with friends.  Venus rules Marriage and the child will be getting a very painful first insight into how love and commitment (both Venus aspects) work out in people’s lives (Sun).  Since parents often begin to rely on their children for friendship during divorce there may be some unhealthy transfer of this influence back into the family atmosphere when it should be working out into the outside world.  (A lot of recent movies seem to show this phenomenon lately, I’ve discussed a couple of them).  During Venus transits one is more likely to be going through an extra intense phase of comparing ones self to others.  A child from Divorce may have to go into denial about this through shame or just by having to defer to the greater needs of the parents.

Obviously a Divorce is going to provide a lot of negative difficult information through both the Saturn influence and the Venus influence.  The natal chart will often show that these planets are strong in the chart as it is.  In that case, a child needs extra support to be helped through those phases which be forfeited by the parents’ needs.  It’s just too bad if the parents are not available to provide support for these phases because left ignored they tend to cycle back into the child’s life later on as uncontrollable events. While his friends may see a little tiff on the playground with another child as the big influence at this age, the Child of Divorce will remember having to listen to hours and hours of complaining and fighting over money and parent’s relationships.  The child from the intact family goes home and has a very self-centered but helpful conversation with a parent.  The child from the Divorced home, God only knows what happens when he opens the door so I won’t even imagine.

The reason why I think these first transits are important to look at is because they are the first times that children experience their influences on a stressful level so they seem to form his development. When they match up to a exceptional life event they will become a very prominent influence in the individual’s personality that might not manifest very easily later on.   If an event is overly stressful this can lock a child into a negative cycle with this planetary influence which he/she will fall victim to later in life.

2 Comments so far
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So interesting! I loved that article as well. I have never read anything correlating astrology with the effect of divorce on children. Thanks for a great read.

Comment by Carolyn

Thanks for visiting, Carolyn. Your blog is great. Thanks for leaving the link!

Comment by toothless

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