Spoiled Children of Divorce


Exemplary Children of Divorce – E.O. Wilson

In 1937, his parents divorced and he was passed from relative to relative before being returned to his alcoholic father, experiences that profoundly shaped his life. ‘A nomadic existence made Nature my companion of choice, because the outdoors was the one part of my world I perceived to hold rock steady. Animals and plants I could count on; human relationships were more difficult.’

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2006/oct/01/usa.science

Sociobiologist Edward O. Wilson whose parents divorced when he was 7 years old found a creative outlet for his expression through the life style brought on by his parents’ divorce.  The year of the divorce he was blinded in one eye during a fishing accident.  The eyesight in his other eye began to lose vision and he began to lose the ability to hear in the upper registers, so lost the ability to hear bird songs.

Because he obviously is incredibly adaptable (and adaptable) he continued his love of the observation of nature by focusing on the study of insects later on in college.  They were small and could be observed close up.



13-Year Old Child of D Wants to Sail Solo Around the World, Social Workers Say No
August 26, 2009, 12:11 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Dutch Social Workers are trying to keep a 13 year old girl from trying to be the youngest person to sail around the World.

That’s odd enough in itself but they are using arguments against the girl’s trip based on the fact that she’s from a divorced family. Laura lives with her Father in the Netherlands.  Her Mother lives in Germany.

Bits from the above linked article:

But the Dutch Council for Child Protection is so concerned about the dangers of the marathon voyage it has asked a court to grant it temporary custody of Laura so it can do what her parents refuse to: Halt the trip.

Judges at Utrecht District Court were to announce Friday whether they will scupper Laura’s record-breaking plans. In the meantime, the legal battle has ignited a wide-ranging debate even in this traditionally seafaring nation about the role that parents should play in their children’s risky adventures.

The rat race to become a so-called “super child” — the youngest to accomplish some grueling feat — can be fueled by ambitious parents, laser-focused children with talent, or youngsters with a deep need to please or be praised, psychologists say.

Dutch social workers fear that could be an issue in Laura’s case, for she lives with her Dutch father who is divorced from her German mother.

“Laura has divorced parents and it is very normal for a child of this age to be very loyal to the parent (he or she) is living with,” Child Protection spokesman Richard Bakker told The Associated Press on Tuesday. “How much does she identify herself with her father, who is a good sailor?”

Laura and her father appeared at a court hearing Monday to discuss the council’s request, but the mother did not show up, Bakker said.

“She simply does not have the experience to anticipate the problems and possible crises that await her,” the paper wrote.

Besides the physical hazards, experts also warn that being alone for so long at such a young age could hinder the child’s emotional development.

A 13-year-old girl is in the middle of her development and you don’t do that alone — you need peers and adults,” said Micha de Winter, a professor of child psychology at Utrecht University.

Adults can make choose to be alone, he added, “but for children it is not good.”

“Particularly the absence of parents at such a crucial time of the child’s development … the risks are serious,” he told AP.

Ah, hahahahahhaa!  Well, for one, I had no clue that Social Workers knew about the loyalty gig between Children of D and their Resident Parent.  Bravo, Netherlanders.  But, really now, haven’t these Social Workers grown up in a Divorced family?  Sitting around listening to your parents’ endless personal problems is healthy?   Bouncing back and forth between parents is healthy?  Disruption to friendships because two sets of parents need extra attention is healthy?

I’m not interested in record breaking super kids myself, this trip sounds unbelievably foolish, but to use these arguments in Laura’s case is ridiculous.

Come on, guys.  Kids used to be on their own at age 13-14 anyway.  They grew up to become Greta Garbo and Charlie Chaplin.  Dream makers.

According to the article linked, Laura Dekker was born into an oddball lifestyle.  She wasn’t born in a little brick house with tulip pots in Deutschland.  She was born in New Zealand while her parents were sailing around the World and spent the first 4 years of her life on the ocean in a boat.  She has been sailing solo since she was 6 years old.  If she were to take off by herself in this venture she estimates the trip would last about 2 years.

Her situation does sort of sound psycho-babbly because it looks like Laura might be wanting to repeat the best part of her childhood when her family was together and happy and free.  Maybe that’s not good.  But, if she’s held back from pursuing such a strong dream her spirit will be squelched anyway.  Can’t they make a compromise?



Exemplary Children of Divorce – Liza Lou

Biographies of Modern Artists are difficult to come by.  Artists speak through their work first and if they’re successful a biographer comes along and explains the life experience from which the art springs.  I was really pleased to find that Artist Liza Lou is from a divorced family.  Lou is an American Artist who makes unbelievably beautiful sculptures which are covered in tiny beads.  She became famous for her life-size portrayal of a modern american kitchen which sparkles and gleams.  It’s a feminist commentary.  It’s also interesting that she chose to show an idealized version of something related to home.

Lou’s childhood seems very strange.  Her parents were bohemian artists living in New York until they found God and became Born Again Christians and moved to the suburbs.  Lou’s Father seems to have gone off the deep-end.  She has performed a piece about his abuse.  Lou has a sister.  I don’t know what age she was when her parents divorced.  She is said to be still close to her Mother.

Excellent article (with pictures) here.

From the article:

“Liza’s work is an imitation of life, where nothing is real,” says her Paris gallerist, Thaddaeus Ropac. “At the same time, it’s so present that it can be very frightening.” According to art historian and critic Robert Pincus-Witten, it offers a unique synthesis of issues deriving from conceptualism, Pop art and feminism. “There’s that ambiguity between the extremely luxurious and the politically terrifying,” he says.

You don’t have to dig very deeply into Lou’s personal history to find the wellsprings for her works’ conflicting themes. Her parents lived determinedly bohemian lives in Manhattan until 1965, when they attended a revival meeting and became born-again Christians. After burning all of their books and artworks, including Roy Lichtenstein paintings that were gifts from the artist, they moved to Minnesota, where they worked for various fundamentalist churches. Lou and her sister grew up watching exorcisms and speaking in tongues.

At a certain point in her teens, Lou began to question some of the tales she’d been told: Did King David really speak to her mother in the hospital after Lou was born, to explain that the baby was a blessing unto this world? (Today, although not exactly an atheist, Lou says she isn’t a believer, either: “Certain things have to line up for me in terms of logic.”) In 1989 she took a summer trip to Europe, and in the cathedrals of Florence and Venice, she experienced revelations, though they had less to do with Jesus than with mosaics and Byzantine domes. “As an American kid who grew up in the suburbs—postmodern churches with plastic chairs and all that crap—it was totally transforming to be in a place that took hundreds of years to make,” Lou says. “That blew me away.”



Does Neptune Rule Children of D?
August 2, 2009, 10:22 pm
Filed under: Astrology stuff, Uncategorized

I’m going to start doing more Astrobabble here because I really need to rev myself back up with my research project wherein I study the effect of divorce on Children of D and how it can affect their lives later on.  Warning this is pretty babbly, and it might be a bit too techno-astro-babbly.

The Main point of what I’m trying to say here is:

  • to respond to an astrological idea that Children of Divorce are somehow connected to the planet Neptune and to point out that probably Neptune is one of the least likely planets to be involved in study of Children of Divorce.
  • I also want to show that the masse Divorce phenomenon within society probably occurred as a result of Pluto’s transit through Virgo, especially as it experienced the conjunction to Uranus and opposition to Saturn in Pisces.  These are the trends that the kids were born into.
  • Their parents were most likely Pluto in Cancer people who were born into a trend that needs to rip apart what doesn’t work within the family unit.
  • Pluto’s transit through Libra in the 1970s and early 1980s represents a time, overall, when the idea of Marriage (Libra ruled) was to be ripped apart in the same way.
  • Due to Pluto’s odd orbital path, Pluto is staying in signs for shorter and shorter periods of time.  This means that there will be shorter Plutonian generations of kids born in the signs since Virgo to the present, Capricorn.
  • This also means that these kids can expect to go through the intense, crisis oriented Plutonian square transit much earlier in life.  The average Pluto in Libra person experiences this transit in early to mid-30s.  The average Pluto in Gemini or Cancer person experienced it while in their 50s.

*********

Today I picked up the recent Dell Horoscope Magazine.  Sorry I didn’t pay attention to which Month, it is the current one so maybe August, maybe September?  This magazine was my stand-by for exposure to Astrology when I was young and today it publishes articles written by outstanding astrologers who write in an easy to understand format for the general public.  However, I’m a little annoyed by a small reference to Children of D in the current issue…  (and I know this is because current Astrologers fashion their beliefs on the Psychology profession and the Psychology profession is mostly run by Children from Intact families who have built a lucrative industry out of divorce so they are not about to find fault with it through intelligent study of the kids in the affected families).

If you’ve ever looked at Dell Horoscope you will notice that they wedge in little astrological observations that written in italics within the other articles.  These are like little “sound-bites” which actually give as much information as the longer articles.

Flipping through I was intrigued by the words “Children” and “Divorce” included in the same sentence.  Generally Astrology books will include lengthy information about step-children and will lump step-parents in with parents in general, and that’s about all the traditional information we have.  I was a little upset by the comment because it said that Children of D tend to be ruled by Neptune when Neptune is natally in either the 4th or the 10th houses which are the houses which rule Home and Parents.  The blurb said that this is also a signature for Orphans.

Orphans the same as Children of Divorce?  Fie.  This signifies the general weak understanding of people who look at divorce from the outside.  Almost half of adults living in the United States right now grew up in Divorce and certainly not all of them have Neptune anywhere near the 4th or 10th Houses.  Orphans are definitely ruled by the sign of Pisces and Neptune as ruler of that sign rules Charity, Loss, Institutions (as well as psychic intelligence, empathy, creativity, artistic talent to name a few of the positive aspects).  Orphans have no parents so they suffer a great loss and must learn to assume a humble stance with others in order to survive, very Piscean.  Children of Divorce are not supported by Charity or Institutions.  They are lucky if they can find support from their multitudinous and ever-expanding families.  Mostly, they must keep face and not complain and forgive others their indiscretitions (and move out at Age 18 when Child Support stops).

Children of D might lose one parent but they definitely are not Orphans.  In most cases they suffer from the exact opposite situation where they suffer from too many parents.  With this in mind they might be considered ruled not by Pisces but by its polar opposite sign, Virgo.  Astrological dates seem to confirm this as divorced families sort of blew up to huge proportions as the Pluto in Virgo generation (born late 1950s to very early 1970s) grew up.  As a matter of fact, there was a huge generational outer planet configuration that occurred in the mid 1960s in which Uranus (revolution, sudden events) was in conjunction with Pluto (change, emotional crises) in Virgo and was opposing Saturn (rules Fathers, Loss).  Both Uranus and Pluto create large changes within societies.  Kids born during this time were automatically going to be born into a time of revolution and change.  This would have happened in the sign of Virgo.  Pisces is involved because of its polarity to Virgo and also because the conjunction was opposed by Saturn, but it is not ruling the central idea of what’s going on here.  Virgo is self-sufficient and is expected to give to others.  Only if it performs according to these expectations will it receive in return.

Uranus is often the general “go to” planet for Divorce as it rules awakenings, society on a very advanced level, intellectual experimentation, but also sometimes an emptiness of feeling and caring.  It also tends to see people as a collective group, not hampered by small societal restrictions or individual needs.

Virgo is an earth sign. It is analytical, practical, receptive, is not comfortable within the limelight or with posing in any heroic type of way.

Virgo is one of the middle signs of the Zodiac along with Libra, which rules Marriage.  Being in the middle is a central theme for Children of D.

It is interesting that during the 70s, many of the Pluto in Virgo kids were being raised by Pluto in Cancer parents.  During the 70s when Pluto moved into Libra, the sign of marriage and as Libra rules Marriage and Pluto likes to tear down in order to get rid of what is no longer effective, the timing couldn’t match the actual Divorce phenomenon more closely.

The Pluto in Cancer people were dealing with all things Cancerian and Fourth House which rules family, tradition, tribe, memory, etc.  Pluto is known as the Phoenix.  He burns everything down as a way of weeding out what doesn’t work so that only the strongest element will survive.   This is to make people aware of their real powers.

During a Pluto square (which the Pluto in Cancer people began to experience during the 70s when Pluto moved into Libra), people face a huge challenge from Pluto to proceed with his destiny.  In the Pluto in Cancer generation’s case this was to weed out things that didn’t work through the Libra area of life.  Libra rules Marriage, one on one partners, diplomacy, mental harmony, balance, (and also open enemies).  Unfortunately, I think that some of what happened was that “the baby (Cancer) was thrown out (Pluto) with the bath water” regarding Child Rearing and sense of personal responsibility to Children.  Pluto works through extreme behaviors and sort of screws up a bit through extreme behaviors with his purging transits.

It’s interesting to notice the change in length of Pluto’s transits through signs for the generations that began to grow up in Divorce in mass quantities.  They are much shorter so there are fewer Children born with Pluto in the signs and they also go through their Pluto Square transits much earlier in life.

Because Pluto’s orbit is so irregular, his transits become much shorter in the signs Virgo through Sagittarius.  As Pluto rules deep, inexpressable feelings and motivations this makes sense with regards to being raised to compromise one’s self for one’s parent’s needs on a mass scale within society.  Pluto also rules crisis on a mass scale.

I’m starting to re-read Stephanie Stall’s incredible book The Love They Lost (all the way through this time) and was dumb-founded to find that Staal describes growing up with her parents’ divorce as a very Pluto in Virgo type of experience: (I’m not sure whether she’s a Pluto in Virgo or Libra actually).

“There were no provocative questions, no reassurances that everything would be okay.  I stepped into this vacuum of feeling and focused on the details, like where I would spend my vacations and holidays. (p. 36).”

Staal is constantly describing the fragmented lifestyle, living with odd pieces of a puzzle that’s difficult to put together, and existing with no cohesive whole.  Very Virgonian type of existence.

In the end, I suspect that Divorce has many different rulers through Astrology.  Moon, Pluto and Venus are certainly right up there as well as Uranus and Saturn for fear, caution and self esteem issues.  Neptune could be included as well for its ability to dissolve what it touches, and also for its connection with escapism and addiction and mental illness, and also extreme feelings of confusion if one parent leaves and doesn’t keep contact with the child.  But, Divorce actually helps to alleviate some of these types of Neptunian problems.  For as long as people have been raising kids, parents have been disappearing who can’t handle the responsibility.  Within a society that accepts a broken marriage, there is more openness about the parent who fails in his duties.  People have been trying to figure out a way to raise their children without staying in a miserable marriage.  They make huge mistakes as parents, in the meantime.  These problems needed carefully Virgo attention to details in order to study effects.  These kids come from such varying backgrounds that they probably can’t be studied in masse.  Just because growing up in Divorced families has been found to profoundly hurt 25 percent of the children, it doesn’t mean that these children can all be “diagnosed” as ADHD or Depressed and then pilled.

On page 54 Staal writes “there’s no easy way to lose your home, just–according to one woman — “different kinds of pain.”

Also:

“While parents who divorce have obviously reached a breaking point in their love and commitment to each other, children’s awareness of the strife in their marriage varies greatly, depending not only on their capacity for understanding but the ways in which their parents chose to express their unhappiness.  We often responded to their decision to divorce according to how our parents’ marriage fell apart:  shock and disbelief for those of us hit with the news with the lightning speed of a car crash;  sadness and perhaps even relief for those of us who watched our parents’ marriages go through a proteacted period of collapse before they divorced.”