Spoiled Children of Divorce

Name of This Blog
November 18, 2009, 1:42 am
Filed under: self-absorbed parents

When I first started this blog I was clowning around with the title.  It is supposed to be a kind of joke which most Children of D get.  At least the ones from my generation usually get it.  We have lived our lives receiving one of two replies from our peers if we bother to mention that we grew up in a divorced family.  One is the comment:  “Oh, my parents should have divorced.”  Or “You’re so lucky.  You got two presents at Christmas.  You were spoiled.”

Of course, basically this speaks of the self-absorption, greed, and materialism of people from my generation who grew up in Intact families.  They are only able to show a resentment that somebody perhaps experienced a situation that was better than theirs.  Growing up in Divorce was a demotion when I grew up.  The housing, the money, the holidays, the Joy, it all went.  I just had two sets of parents who were seriously depressed and falling deeper and deeper into alcholism, bad dates, and money problems.  You didn’t mention it because you didn’t want people to have to feel sorry for you.  In my case, I didn’t want to the social worker showing up at the door.

People from Intact families tend to think that they already know what it’s like to be from divorce.  Or maybe they can only think about themselves which is why they needed to divorce in the first place.  Someone, a think a man, just left a message on here with the usual obnoxious comment about how it’s so difficult to be a single parent.  He had no opinion about how his children felt, or at least there was no comment about how they might be feeling.  He was basically doing a marketing thing to advertise his own blog which is a very rude thing in itself, but was absolutely callous to do on a blog that’s in guard dog mode regarding these jerks.  I still have his IP address.  Perhaps I should publish it so that single mothers can get a hold of him…

At any rate, for a much longer time than I care to admit I couldn’t figure out why so many step-mothers were visiting this blog.  Then finally I realized that it was because of the title.  I had asked for it.  They were seriously attracted to the concept that their step-children are spoiled and they are hell bent on complaining about it from their belligerent know-it-all perspectives.  I actually got the title from a woman who was bitching about her boyfriend’s son as being one of those “Spoiled Kids from Divorce.”   There was also a racist remark in there as well which I’m leaving out.

2 Comments so far
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I had always wondered what the meaning was behind the name. Growing up, I didn’t hear ‘oh, you are so lucky’ from many. Stark ignorance and a million questions is what I endured.
‘So you visit your dad when?’
‘So that is your half sister or step sister?’
‘What do you call your stepdad?’
I could go on and on. It made me feel like a teacher. 😉

Comment by Carolyn (the grown up child)

Hi Carolyn, thanks for your comments. It’s interesting how different people get different reactions. Maybe this is just my personal experience. Maybe it’s typical of my age group. I can’t tell how old you are but I was teenager when the big 70s divorce epidemic hit and my family was part of it. The kids who were older grew up with a lot more shame than I did. The woman who made that comment is older than I am and others who’ve said that to me have also been older. I do remember how exhausting the family situation was to explain to the hospital when my father was dying due to the extended family weirdness. But, I lived in the same small area up through high school and never really had a need to explain what was going on in my family. Everyone already knew. Many kids were going through the same thing in their families. It’s been the people I’ve met since, the ones from intact families, who’ve made these comments. A lot of psychologists tell me this stuff, as a matter of fact. One of the main reasons that you’ll see me bashing that crowd a lot on this blog.

At any rate, you are confirming my Age 3 Astrology Interpretation for Children of D. Age 3 has a strong “Jupiter” influence and Jupiter rules Teachers and Education, along with the heightened social charms and awareness and play, sense of rules and “how things ought to be”.

I’m having a really hard time writing this stuff out but am totally bowled over by how it seems to work.

Comment by toothless

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