Spoiled Children of Divorce

If Your Parents Divorced During Your First Year – The Sun and The Moon and The Cow and The Spoon
May 3, 2010, 10:21 pm
Filed under: Astrology stuff

Probably nobody remembers his/her first year on earth but I’m going to suggest a few possible influences to check for if a child experiences divorce trauma during this time.  There seems to be a huge difference in personalities of children whose parents were never together and those whose parents tried and then separated so I for one am assuming at this point that children do retain within their beings some memory.  The child will grow up with a different feeling of attachment and expectation to both parents whether or not both stay in the life.

As stated in my introductory post called “Many Happy Returns” I suggest here that during the first planetary return cycles a child goes through mark major plateaus in growth development in rapid succession.  There’s a lot of growth going on.  A trauma experienced at any age will stunt the growth and the development process, but this does not mean that it destroys a person’s life.  Most examples will show that a child will develop an extra strong  influence from the stage that he/she is at during the time of the trauma.  This influence may work either for them or against them in a way which may seem uncontrollable and subconscious.  It might help to use astrology to determine whether this is so if a person if having problems in his adult life.  I will show how this can manifest later on either through the person’s personality traits or through remanifestation of the trauma.

The Planetary Return Cycles, which correspond with the stages of Development in Children (Yale Child Center), are meant to flow from one to the other during life.  Most of these occur during childhood which obviously is when a person’s most rapid growth occurs.  When a child suffers a trauma, such as death of a parent, divorce, and probably even remarriage, a part of the child perhaps freezes at this area of growth.  Trauma is a shocking, severe and life changing event over which a person has no control.  Its effects can be ameliorated if a person is surrounded by caring, concerned individuals so that the child can integrate the event into his personality and growth development.  He may do that anyway.  In Astrology we assume that there will be an indication in the birth chart to show this, but this area needs a lot more study before making affirmative decisions.

Still, the effects will probably take hold in some way.  Divorce permanently changes the Quality of life for a child.  Hopefully it will help to look at how this happens in order to understand specific ways that a child will suffer both at the time of the event as well as long down the line.  Astrology offers ideas for how to ease a negative situation instantly.  But it also can show how an individual can be set up for problems down the road.  The trauma cycles back on around.  Very simple astrological techniques might show when this occurs.  I’m not saying that this information necessarily helps a person to avoid catastrophe later on, it might even create problems through auto-suggestion, but it does correspond so amazingly with the observations of the growth patterns of children as observed by doctors that I think it deserves notice.

Just from looking at charts of famous people who grew up in Divorce I’m finding that this “freezing” takes place very often.  The character of the child takes on the characteristics of the age that he’s at.  In astrology I suggest that this age of development is shown by whatever first planetary return cycle the child has just completed and thus is mastering.  He uses his new found mastery to “help” his parents.  Sometimes these positive traits are rewarded more than positive traits of following phases so he holds on to them into adulthood. He sort of gets stuck in these personality characteristics.  In Intact Families these traits will generally be observed as just “that age” or “that phase.”  A child in divorce trauma just plain old won’t be noticed for a couple of years until his parents get finished “adjusting their oxygen masks.”  The parents’ and other family members will stop noticing him and he will be “known” in the family as the kid with “those traits.”  The child may not have been guided out of the negative characteristics of a Moon phase (introverted, moody), or he may have been heavily relied upon for the positive qualities of a Jupiter phase (good natured, easy going, people pleasing).

As I said in my previous, badly written, introduction to this study “Many Happy Return”, the first two years of a child’s life show remarkable levels of growth and development.  In astrology, this is marked by first planetary returns of what is considered all the inner planets of the Solar System:  Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, and Mars.  These are the planets which, along with the Ascendant, describe a person’s personal approach to how he deals with his life.  In a way, they describe his individual nature.  The influences from these planets can be broken down even further.  The first year is guided by the influence of the two Lights of Astrology, the Sun and the Moon.  These are the major aspects of the astrological chart along with the Ascendant.  The first Birthday is influenced by the Sun and the two planets which orbit inside the Earth’s orbit.  These are Mercury and Venus.  Then the two year phase is concluded by the return of Mars to his natal spot.  The exact times and days when the actual return cycles will occur are unique to everyone born on a specific day.  It’s great to notice how individual lives can progress but I’m not looking at actual dates, just by the overall cycles which are presented by them as showing developmental stages of mastery and growth.

Honing it down, we look at the first year of life which I propose is basically informed by the most personal elements.  These are the Ascendant of the birth chart, the Sun and the Moon.  Beginning learners of Astrology know that these are the most important elements of an individual’s birth chart.  They describe his Personality and Physical Body through the Ascendant; his Ego, Will and Vitality through the Sun; and his Character and Subconscious as shown through the Moon.  Mercury can also belong to the first year of life as Mercury might have a Return a Month before the baby’s first Birthday (Solar Return), however,  I’ll discuss the first Mercury, Solar and Venus Returns in the next post on this subject.

I’m studying the charts of famous people — and I don’t have a whole lot of biographical information to work with.  People don’t talk much about their parents’ divorces.  I suspect the main reason for this is because it hurts the parents’ feelings.  It’s also a real deal breaker as far as career goes in modern times because so many bosses are divorced parents themselves.  And their feelings get hurt.  When starting this project I thought I could purchase an astrology program which boasted about being a great resource for getting statistics on just about any topic.  But, the database was created by a Divorced Astrologer so was severely censored on that topic.  And, of course, Divorce wasn’t as prevalent during the times which she compiled her charts.  Out of the 30,000 amazing charts/biographies in software program, there were only about 230 entries mentioning divorce!  So I’ve gathered about 150 charts on my own over the past couple of years.  I’m using celebrity charts right now which means that I’m showing examples of people who typically lead unusual lives and experience extreme conditions.  In personal charts, I have found that the information also works but the information probably changes a bit to adjust for the less spectacular lifestyles.  Anyone who had read Mavis Heatherington’s study on children of Divorce knows that researchers aren’t very concerned about the extra hoops that Children of D have to jump through just to conform to the standard.  There really isn’t much room in these lifestyles for creating extreme deeds.  I have noticed that it’s very difficult to find charts of Intellectuals, for example, in the successful children categories of Children of Divorce.

One also has to look at the fact that Divorce is highly sophisticated relationship trauma.  It’s the end product of relationship.  It describes break down and failure that doesn’t lead to growth, but just to change and something new.  When a child experiences a parents’ divorce he can’t possibly understand what is going on, or at least one hopes that he won’t understand it.  Emotionally he will understand the tension.  But his vocabulary will be very limited in what he can express.

A word about the Astrology.  For anyone reading this, please be aware that when “shit happens” generally there are several difficult aspects going Astrologically on at a time to a natal Astrology Chart.  Each person has a very individual chart, grows up in a different environment and around different situations.  There are no set rules within Astrological Interpretation and I know that people can be very easily “programmed” by the information.  I can’t state that strongly enough.  Some people feel that we have full Free Will.  Some people thinks that some higher power out there has a grand plan for what happens.  I’m in the middle of all of this.  I think that there is some of this and some of that.  And some people get hit with a lot more than others and they are burdened with unfairness.

This information is a new technique.  Most astrologers look at the natal chart and the transits when reading for children.

The first year of life shows strong Sun and Moon influence. These are the most important influences in an Astrological Chart along with a the Ascendant.

The Ascendant is related to the time and place where a person is born and sets the planets into their houses in his chart.  It describes a person’s appearance.  The Ascendant shows the personality and the physical body.  It is said to describe the situation around the actual moment of birth.  Some astrologers have found that it literally describes what sign the Moon was in when the person was conceived.  (There’s an astrologer named Alice in Australia who is an expert on this, sorry I don’t have a last name for her because I’ve only read her posts over the Internet and she uses an alias).

I don’t have any examples to look at to see if the Ascendant plays a part in understanding trauma.  One, of course, can check for some indicators to see if a person might be more vulnerable to any birth trauma.    These can be by watching for important transits to the Ascendant or to the Chart/Ascendant ruler.  Also, one might pay attention to when the progressed Ascendant changes signs.  This occurs about every 30 years or so.  At that point, the literal description of what would happen would be that the person might literally go through a re-birth in some way.

If parents split up just as a child is born I’d suspect that the person might suffer through his physical body later on.  I don’t have examples of anyone who was born into a divorce just at the moment of birth, but I can use my own chart as a possible example of what I mean here.  My parents didn’t split up, they stayed together for another 18 years, but I know they had a fight just as I was being born.  It was a Full Moon, what can I say?  At any rate, my Mother had just thrown my Father out of the delivery room and I popped out after a short 4 hour labor.  I have Gemini Rising.  Gemini is related to words and especially showing anger through words.  (Hence the wonders on this blog).  In the physical body Gemini relates to the hands and to the arms, and breathing organs of the bronchials.  I suffered from Bronchial Asthma as a child from the age of 3 months and onward.  And most of my successes in childhood came through skills relating to use of hands, like arts and music.

The Sun and the Moon are the other key planetary influences develping in the first year.  The Sun and the Moon are called “Planets” in Astrology as a sort of lazy way of talking.  Obviously they aren’t planets.  They are called the “Lights” because their presence is strongest in the sky and they do light up the sky.  The Sun rules the Day and the Moon rules the Night.  The Sun rules the Masculine, or Father, presence in our charts.  The Moon rules the Feminine, or Mother, influence in our charts.  On a psychological level, this manifests with the Sun being our Ego, our ability to shine and to express ourselves.  The Moon develops as our receptive side which shows our feelings and our memory.

If the parents split soon after a baby is born it is interesting to notice aspects to the child’s Sun in the natal chart.  The Sun, ruler of drama, might play an extra amped up influence in the baby’s chart if he experiences trauma so close to the time of birth as this will directly affect his ego.  A newborn ought to be the Center of Attention.  Babies need extra attention as they can’t do anything for themselves.  It’s part of the Sun’s problem that he hides his problem in the shade.  These problems don’t go away, of course.  They re-emerge, usually at inopportune times.

So a baby might compensate for theses traumas much later on as an adult.  But he won’t have a clue that it might be related to early experiences.  Some people like to know this type of thing.  It helps them feel released from the pressure to have an answer so that they can move on.  Others don’t like the information and don’t know what to do with it.

When I read Elizabeth Marquardt’s research stating that Children of Divorce don’t feel that they were the Center of Attention and don’t remember playing as children as much as children from the Intact families, I think that perhaps this is directly affecting their Sun placement somehow in their charts.  Sun rules Play, Children, Self-Confidence, Being Center of Attention.  Solar Returns are one of the biggest events of childhood for most children.  These are the yearly birthdays and are a time of celebration and of being the center of attention.  This is the time that the child has his own special day.  The Sun is a great Romantic influence and needs warmth.  Think about the great Italian song “O Solo Mio.”  “Sol” comes from the word “Sol” or “Sun.  He might put himself out before people in order to get extra attention. (Hopefully, he’s got a good voice.)

With strong aspects from other planets, especially slow moving outer planets, extra talents might be shown through a traumatized Sun influence.  The person will probably naturally “shine” in some way in life.  If connected with a strong Outer Planet combination, i.e. the slow moving planets which describe characteristics of large groups of people born within certain times, the person may become a reflection of the ideas of his generation.  The Sun is the creative will and vitality of a person and someone with a strong Sun placement will probably project strongly into the world, take center stage and lead in some way.

If the Sun makes strong aspects to outer planet configurations then one might expect that the person’s life might possibly go through successive traumas when those outer planets again aspect each other.  This is only a theory that I’m developing and I’m not saying that it will happen.  It just could be an indicator that the trauma may re-emerge as other traumas.  A person might see this aspect coming and fore-arm him or herself to be extra protective about not repeating the same type of trauma again as repeat traumas can severely weaken a person.  You don’t want to hit an athlete in the spot where he suffered an injury; it’s that kind of thing.

One example I have of how this works is the chart of Actress Christina Applegate.  Christina’s parents split soon after she was born and she was raised by her Mother.  Christina started working as an actress while still a baby.  She has said that she had to because her work actually fed her family.

Christina has natal Sun in conjunction with a natal Saturn-Neptune opposition.  Saturn-Neptune contacts are considered great contacts for artists as they combine the practical, ambitious Saturn influence helping out and balancing the impractical but artistic and spiritual side of Neptune.  Christina has Sun conjunct the artsy and spiritual Neptune side. As Sun rules Acting and Neptune rules Film and Photography this is a great combination for a TV and Movie Actress.  The opposition from Saturn shows the discipline.  So it makes sense that she would have unusual talents in the arts and highly regarded by the outer world.  But, there is a flip side to this combination, though, which shows a more difficult influence.  Saturn and Neptune working together can show the typical sacrifice that is often seen in the life of the artist.  Sacrifice, hard work, sorrow.  If Christina felt that she lost her childhood by having to work.  That if she hadn’t sacrificed her family would have been destitute (very common fear for both of these planets).  Then she would have been feeling great fears and losses that as a child, or even as an adult, she would have had to suppress.  The Sun tries to suppress everything negative and shine only happiness and light.  Many children would have been born on the same day as Applegate but lived very different lives.   Applegate was born into a show business family in the first place.  Her family had a need for her to work very young because of the divorce.  She was in a way protected by her Mother from the bad side of the “Business” or at least knew to be careful of how it uses people.

There is a chance that the trauma associated with divorce in infancy somehow re-emerged in Christina’s life later on between the years of 2006-2008.  By coincidence, Saturn and Neptune were again transiting in opposition to each other.  They were not on the Gemini-Sagittarius pole as they were when she was born but were  in the signs of Leo and Aquarius.  They would have been passing over Christina’s Nodal Axis  which are Abstract Points related to one’s Destiny.

During the time of this much later Saturn-Neptune opposition, Christina had a bad couple of years.  She divorced, lost an ex-boyfriend and friend to drug overdose, and was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  She elected to go through with a double mastectomy because she is genetically predisposed for Breast Cancer.  Her Mother is a Breast Cancer Survivor as well (and I wonder if her illness wasn’t a central part of Christina’s Secondary Progressed Lunar Return).

The Saturn-Neptune opposition wasn’t the only astrological aspect going on for Christina at that point.  There were other key transits which would have contributed to the losses that Christina suffered at that point.  She was going through her Pluto Square transit which is the first big Planetary Return transit of Pluto that we experience in life.   A square is the point at which Pluto is a quarter way around the Astrological wheel from its post in the natal chart and is considered to show a time when the areas of life indicated by that planet are “challenged” in some way.  I.E. this is considered a difficult time which is meant to bulk up our internal energies so it has great survival skills).   Most people won’t experience anything like this combination at the same time and hopefully Christina won’t experience it again.  From what I’ve read Christina is a very spiritual person and has maintained an extremely strong and positive attitude through out these events.  She truly could lead and teach others through the talents shown in her Sun in addition to continuing with her acting.  It seems that she is now engaged to be married once again.

It’s also interesting to pay attention to the influences of the Moon in Christina’s experiences. Moon literally rules the Breasts, Chest and Lungs.  It rules the Mother and Genetics (probably along with Pluto which rules Inheritances).  A Baby’s first year of life consists of almost nothing but Lunar Returns, so it would make sense that things that are ruled by the Moon will be emblazoned into a baby who goes through a very traumatic event during the first year.  Of course, there will be strong emotional bonding with the Mother with a Moon influence.

There’s another interesting Sun related aspect which might be useful to look at for child development and trauma.  It’s a different cycle from the transit and is called the Progressed Sun.

There might be a chance that if the parents split very soon after a baby is born that the Secondary Progressed Sun may bring an interesting event back into the child’s life which is connected with that date.  It’s almost impossible to find examples of this so I don’t know how rare this occurrence is.

To understand Progressions one needs to know that there are multiple types of cycles for each planet.  There are the Transit Return Cycles which is what I’m mostly showing here. These are based on the actual placements of the planets as they orbit in the sky.  And there are something called Progressions.  Progressions show the transits as developing at different speeds from birth.  Secondary Progressions equate one day of life for every year.  Tertiary Progressions equate one month of life for every year.  This produces a ripple effect of how important the early events of life are.

I’m sure that makes no sense so here’s an example of how the Progressed Sun can work.  President Gerald Ford.  Ford’s parents split when he was 16 days old because his Father was violent.  Ford’s Mother remarried 2.5 years later, Ford took his step-father’s name, and it seems that Ford didn’t really see his Father growing up.

However, when Ford was around 17 years old, out of the blue, his Father walked into the restaurant where Ford worked and re-introduced himself to his Son’s life.    Here we have 16 days of life equaling (sort of) slightly more than 16 years of life.  The numbers aren’t exact so anyone needing exact aspects is going to have trouble with this story.  There is one other example that I found of a baby who was given up for adoption at 11 days old and then his parents divorced when he was 12 years old.  Then he flipped out at age 19 and killed a bunch of people.  But, that’s a negative story.  One can see the Strong Solar Influence in Gerald Ford as he entered Politics and became a major leader as Vice-President and President of the United States.

So, the next influence is the transiting Lunar Return.   These comprise the bulk of the Childhood planetary Return experience during the First Year  That makes a lot of sense since the Moon rules Mother, Nurturing, Family, and Home.  We experience at least 11 of these before we experience another Planetary Return so we gain a lot of experience getting used to how these aspects of our lives will manifest with our natal chart before moving on to any new stages of development.

The Moon rules the Sign of Cancer and the 4th House of the Horoscope Wheel.  It rules the Mother, the Home, Food, Emotional Bonding, Basic Needs, Women in General, and Emotional Reflection.  The Moon Cycle averages about 29 days.  Obviously it corresponds with the Calendar Month.  The Moon’s influence might be seen as showing an interesting influence during this time.  Our sense of taste is thought to develop by the end of our first Month.  That’s the completion of our first Lunar Return. We are said to be born with a sense of smell, but the added sense of Taste just shows how strongly the Moon is related to our experience of eating and the gustatory delights.  Babies also tend to stick everything in their mouths.  They are sorting out what can be eaten and what can’t.  I sort of wonder if many chefs aren’t born of divorces that occur during their first year as they may retain special delights and sensitivities in this area.

The Moon rules a couple of interesting subjects that seems contradictory.  It rules the family and the private life.  But it also rules the Public, or the portion of the public that relates to the needy and the poor.  This is because of its sensitivity to neediness in others.   Psychologically it rules the Imagination, the subconscious, the irrational, and memory.  It can rule insanity and irrational behavior, the lunacy which is related to the Full Moon.  It is related to silly humor.  One can how silly nursery rhymes would appeal to small babies.  It rules the tides and the flow of fluids within one’s body.  Children at this age are said to prefer the sound of talking to the sounds related to music.  They have a special interest in human faces which even seems to echo the fascination of the “Man in the Moon” image they have as adults.  All those love songs to the Moon?  Probably men looking for the love they received from their Mothers.

So, one can see how strongly one would be affected if one’s parents split during one’s first year.  Remember, during this time, a baby has no ability to communicate except by crying when he or she is feeling uncomfortable.

One would expect that anyone who is raised by a single mother would have a special bonding with the Mother.  This person would naturally be extra sensitive to the needs of women and children in general.  It seems that these early Lunar types may have an extra special interest in that area.  As I’m only showing Famous, Successful people I’m showing extreme examples of how these influences will manifest.  They obviously can develop as great gifts and personality traits or as problematic behaviors.

It seems that we need to practice a whole lot of emotional bonding before we finish up any other phases.

It’s sort of interesting that often the first actual words that come out of a baby’s mouth are “Da Da.”  Poor Mommy gets her first rejection.  Actually, baby’s first words seem to come out of his mouth around what could possibly be the first Mercury Return.  Mercury just happens to  rule communication and words and is a Masculine influence.  I read somewhere that single Mothers have to be warned that they might feel rejected  by this.  Single Fathers would obviously think that it’s awesome.  Unrelated to this, but just interesting to wonder about:  I read a while back about a Doctor who studies mathematical abilities in infants.  She thinks that babies are born with ability to perform some pretty complex mathematical calculations, but they seem to lose the ability within the first few months.  This actually shows a loss of mental cognition through loss of memory.  Since Moon is thought to rule memory I just think that’s odd.

An interesting person to look at with regards to Lunar Returns is Christine Gregoire who is the Governor of Washington state.  She exemplifies the ideal Lunar baby grown up.  Like President Ford, Gregoire’s parents split when she was very young due to her Father’s violence. Gregoire was raised by her Mother.  Gregoire has devoted her life to public service (Moon) and especially to the needs of poor families and victims of child abuse.  Her entire career happened because she wanted to help people who suffer the way she probably did during her first Lunar Returns.  It’s interesting to note that Gregoire was  diagnosed with Breast Cancer in 2003 which was very close to the time of her second Secondary Progressed Lunar Return.  Again, Breasts, Chests and Lungs are ruled by the Moon.

During the first year there are a couple of problematic behaviors which babies struggle through and grow out of which probably relate to the influence of the Moon.  They are interesting to look at but also important to consider in a baby’s development while going through divorce when behaviors might be misinterpreted or simply not noticed.  The Moon sets the basis for all a person’s feelings and needs in life.  If these aren’t cared for, the person may remain stuck with some subconscious problem behaviors that seem to irrationally come from out of nowhere.

Two major difficult emotional phases that a newborn will go through are “Separation Anxiety” and “Stranger Anxiety.”  These phases seem to occur after the first half of the first year and definitely show a growth phase of learning to break away from the strong bond with the Mother (Parent). Emotional Dependency is ruled by the Moon, but Anxiety is often ruled by Mercury, and Relationships are ruled by Venus, so one can see these planets’ influences beginning to break into the child’s awareness and growth.  There is mental cognition (Mercury influence) of what’s going on in the environment.  There is a sense that “others” (Venus influence) are out there.  And, actually, it appears that Venus influence might be intertangled with the development of the Mercury influence.  It is thought that attachment to objects which is a Venus influence through Taurus rulership, is responsible for a child’s ability to learn about and observe his environment.  Even the Moon’s influence is important here since Moon rules memory and environment.

These anxieties may also come about as influences created when Mercury and Venus square and oppose their natal spots during the first year.  Venus rules the signs of Taurus and Libra.  Through Taurus we develop a strong bond with objects in our environment.  We are said to learn about our environment mentally by connecting with it through bonding.  Libra rules our one on one relationships and our ability to harmonize with others.

One of the major problems associated with the life of Children of Divorce as shown through Elizabeth Marquardt’s work (Between Two Worlds) is the fact that Children of Divorce say as adults that they felt significantly less safe than their counterparts from Intact Families.  They felt less safe both physically and emotionally.  This is basic Lunar (and Saturn) influence problems whatever a child’s age.

I’ll be referring a lot to Stephanie Staal’s book, The Love They Lost, here quite a bit as well.  Staal provides so many great examples and gives ages of children when their parents divorced.  In that book there is an example of a Child of Divorce talking about what it was like to grow up after Divorce in the first year of life.  There are comments about moving around a lot, living in poverty, having to adjust very quickly to new situations.  The Mother essentially loses her life in order to take care of the baby.  The Father may also struggle.  Whether or not the parents express this directly, the child may feel a sense of resentment.  The loss of feeling safe is certainly a very strong factor.  Both of the examples of the politicians, Ford and Gregoire, are stories that literally involve not being safe.  On the other hand, the divorce would have saved them from future abuse so it would have been a good thing for them.   As seen in Christine Gregoire’s life, this may be a motivating factor for wanting to help others in the same area.

Babies going through divorce often move around a lot, live in less orderly environments, and are dependent on child care workers who may be strangers.  They would have a lot of opportunity for being traumatized just at the points that they are most vulnerable. This can certainly describe a strong influence by the Moon and Mercury which are the two fastest moving planets and are both connected with changeability.  Since the Moon rules Emotional Needs and Mercury rules the Nerves one might develop a strong personality around these two planets’ needs.

Also, one might expect a child’s experiences of the parents to change a lot during the lifetime as the parents won’t be settled at all themselves when the baby is born.  A Father might disappear because he can’t handle the situation and then reappear to try to make amends.  The Mother might send the child to a relative’s house for a year or two because she can’t handle the situation.  The common story is that the Father disappears from the child’s life so there is abandonment.  Then as the child grows he goes through many phases of wondering about this absent parent.  There might be anger or then there might be idealism, or maybe both.  There certainly won’t be a realistic role model.

On the positive side there are many ways that a child would grow up using this energy. There will be a huge sense of wonder and imagination.  He might retain his childish sense of wonder and imagination and use them for creative purposes.  He might have a natural affinity for caring for others.  He might work well with the public.  He might have great talents to work in any careers that are related to the 4th House and the sign of Cancer.

On the other hand, he might have confused ideas about ethics.  He might have a clannish sense of family or look for family in gangs or other places that don’t provide positive support.  He may struggle with deep sensitivities that he can’t explain or describe.

The connection with the custodial parent will be very strong, but may go through many changes in life as well.  The Mother may express resentment for being held down by a responsibility.

If both parents stay in the child’s life, of course, there will be a whole life of moving around a lot, a lot of suitcases to pack.  The child might develop escapist tendencies or feelings of helplessness or neediness.  He might be over emotional or withdrawn and moody.  I wonder if a way to draw a child stuck in any phase is to try to introduce him to the qualities of the next phase.  With Moon that would be through mental curiosity of Mercury.  With Mercury that would be through Venus awareness of others and through developing a sense of harmony.  With Venus it would be through Mars which would be through a need to follow one’s own path.

If influenced by the very early Sun influence there will be a lot of confidence and an adventurous spirit, but with heavy self-esteem problems underneath.  I’ll talk about that later as part of the Solar Return struggle.

It’s important to step back and think about the situation of the entire family when considering any individual member.  A marriage which breaks up right after a child is born is going to be a much different type of marriage than one that breaks up while the children are much older, generally.  The union perhaps occurred because of impulse.  Perhaps there was bad planning. Perhaps the pregnancy was an accident.  The parents will probably be much younger.  Obviously for a couple to break up just after a child is born is because of some super emotional situation.  The Mother may feel helpless to raise a child or children by herself.

Often the Child will be raised in part by other people who helped the custodial parents for a while.  So they may have grown up for a while with people whom they have no genetic connection.  Remember Moon is connected with one’s deep history such as his Genetic Make-Up.  Moon is a Light that reflects the Light of the Sun.  Young Babies strongly identify visually with Human Faces.  It might be a significant experience for a baby to never see a connection with the face that raised him.  That could be good or it could be bad, depends on the individual baby and Lunar influence in the natal chart.  At any rate, it is highly likely that baby born with young parents will experience living in a step-family with strangers whose faces they never see their own reflection.

At this age, if the marriage was longer term and established, and there are siblings the newborn will the youngest in that group and perhaps might feel left behind or unable to keep up with the rest of the family as he or she is growing up.  If the newborn is result of a youthful dalliance, the newborn in divorce will grow up either as a single child or as an older child disconnected from his siblings.  The feeling of being a stranger or an outsider within one’s home will probably always be a part of this person’s memories of childhood.  Being so Lunar Influenced the person will probably try extra hard to establish a strong foundation in his own life by having his own family or through business related to Cancer/4th House occupations.

On a positive vein, a Solar influenced person can be much more generous than average and can do things that others fear to do, especially in the area where his natal Sun is placed in his chart.  A Lunar influenced person will have a natural sense of what other people need and can make use of these skills later on in relationships and in business.

Copyright 2010 Spoiled Children of Divorce blog.  All Rights Reserved.

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