Spoiled Children of Divorce


Are You a Good Actor?
May 25, 2010, 7:29 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Found an article published by Psychology Today on Children of Divorce!  “Children of Divorce are Good Actors” written by Ilana Simons.  I forgot to check the date, think it was from last Summer.

Well, this magazine tries to avoid this topic at all costs because they know they will lose their readership if they address it for what it is.  But I appreciate the effort.

The author writes that she figures that Children of D are good actors later on in life because we grow up having to act one way with one parent and one way with the other parent.  I think that kids do this anyway.  I wrote a comment on there that I think I did this more before my parents divorced than after.  Maybe they’ll remove it.

I’m pretty bad at keeping up with Statistics, but I think the population of kids growing up in divorced homes is so huge we can’t really assume that we as a group share the idea that all the world is our stage.  I mean, I know that Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie are both Children of D, and they’ve done well with their acting skills, and they project troubled souls who have moved on in life (interesting that they both recovered by moving to France).  Mostly I think this is taking the generalization too far.

The comments in the article angered me radically, of course.  A couple of message were from actual children of d and those were okay. Children of D seem to be good at relating awful stories about what happened to them in a way that nobody can respond to in actual conversation (Have you noticed that?).

Then someone added a check off list of how to raise a healthy child of d.  Do’s and Don’ts.  First “Do” is “Do Not ever ask the kid what’s wrong, because you won’t be able to cope with your own feelings of helplessness and guilt over the situation.”

Then the requisite miserable and angry step-mother leaves the detailed comment and analysis of what’s wrong with her step-daughter.  Don’t you just wish for one fucking minute that a Father would get on one of these sites and say, “Hey, What should I do?  My kid, she seems a little torn and her presence is making my new wife miserable.”  (There’s the typical “manipulative step daughter comment” and such and such).

Then, somebody, a shrink no doubt, left a message on how because Children of D are “moody” do you think that means that they have a high rate of Bipolar Disorder?  Good deductive reasoning, Watson, lol.  Anything to sidestep reality.

At any rate one comment was really incredible.  Wonder if I can use it in my Astrology Cycles thingee since it gives such an incredible description of the Age 4 people, although I’m not really up on my ego-id-superarc lingo. (And I wish this person could see that she didn’t really freeze like Snow White, she simple took on a new part of herself which is too big of a challenge for a child, let alone an adult to integrate within herself.)  Got to go look up that painting, do know that that painter generally gives me the creeps.:

When I was four I had a night terror that resembles Johann Heinrich Fussli’s painting “Thor Battering Midgard Serpent.” My parents divorced when I was four. The trauma of early separation and loss froze me in time. I’ve been a “triangulation strangulation” (Superego-Ego-Id) helpless soul for 38 years. I suspect the tale of “Sleeping Beauty” is “hobo code” for the same frozen in time thing.

The cure: A recent “individuation” experience (one becomes two becomes three becomes one)


3 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Hi! I’m the person who had the night terror. It’s a small webworld and that’s a rare painting.

Comment by Kelly Cash

Hi Kelly,

Greetings. Yes, I guess it is a small world. Have to be a little more composed before writing. Or at least wait a couple of days before hitting the publish button. I get pretty angry in some of these posts. Hope I didn’t traumatize you further.

Comment by wristwatch

Naw. I’m not traumatized. I was when I was 4 and my parents were getting divorced. I’m 40 now. That trip I took into the unconscious 36 years ago is called “The Night Sea Journey” according to Carl Jung. That’s what I would call the Painting. The descent into Hell. I hope I didn’t traumatize YOU 😉

Comment by Kelly Cash




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