Spoiled Children of Divorce


If Your Parents Divorced When You Were Between Ages 3 and 4: Crossing Borders

After the Mars Return which normally occurs slightly before Age 2, there won’t be another Planetary Return until the Jupiter Return which occurs very roughly around Age 11.  So, in a big planetary picture childhood is bounded by two planets which mark the concepts of adventure, expansion and growth.  Most people say that these are the best years of their life when they were free from worry and fear.  I suspect that children who have Mars and Jupiter strongly aspected in their birth charts.

There are many other markers in between these two ages which can be considered in looking at how trauma of Divorce might affect a child.  For one, there are other Returns.  There’s a whole set of Asteroids and Dwarfs planets which are held in orbit between Mars and Jupiter.  These are called the Kuiper Belt.  By coincidence their interpretations started in Astrology in the same era as the big Divorce Boom of the 1960s and 70s.  These asteroids are mostly represented by Women Goddesses so they are connected with the growing awareness of the Feminist Movement. They do seem to add a Female Perspective to the strongly Male Rulerships of Mars and Jupiter.

The first of these to occur is the Vesta Return.  A child in his 3d year of life will probably experience his first Vesta Return.  Vesta literally rules “Hearth and Home.”  She is related to the idea of “Keeping the Home Fires Burning.”  One can only wonder what this means for a child going through a divorce.  Perhaps this child becomes the little Torch Bearer for his Parents, Chin Up.  Don’t know how this might manifest in a negative way since Fire can suffer from destructive flare ups.  I suspect that anger might express itself as a flare up and then would dissipate pretty quickly.  Perhaps a lot of these children grow up to be very good cooks.  Maybe they work for the Fire Department.

ET who had to “Call Home” was probably having a serious Vesta Return problem.  Drew Barrymore is a Child of Divorce.  She was 3 years old when she played her part in ET so one can see the energy of this age.  Her parents are said to have divorced very early on, soon after she was born.  Stephen Spielberg was also from Divorce.  I’ve written before about how him in a previous post and that ET is his story about growing up in divorce.

Also, we can begin to consider partial orbits of the slower moving outer planets and the Nodal Axis.  Jupiter’s first square to its natal position, that is, the point where it is 90 degrees away from the place where it was at birth, can be considered and does seem to match up with researchers’ observations of how children are.  Squares generally indicate Challenges and Lessons.  They are considered difficult aspects.  Often they are considered times when the growth spurt hits a hurdle and a person’s problem solving skills are put to the test so this can be a very important age to pass through for proper developement.  The first Jupiter Square comes at about Age 3.  Jupiter then trines its natal position around the Age of 4.  Trines are considered easy aspects in which a person can benefit from previous lessons.  A trine can also show a lax quality in which a person might actually suffer from assuming that things are well.  Since Jupiter represents “Luck” sometimes this can mean that a person can go through a lucky phase if he allows it to happen.  Or it can mean that he will become to easy going and lax and lose out on an opportunity.  That would probably apply more to an adult’s chart.  Either way, Jupiter is a basically optimistic, happy go lucky signature.  And Children at this age are often considered to have these qualities.

Jupiter rules the sign of Sagittarius and the 9th House of the Astrological Chart.  In Classical Astrology it might also rule the sign of Pisces and the 12th House so one might also consider this influence as well for interpretation.  Either way, after Venus/Libra, this is a child’s first introduction to how his life will develop the upper half of the Astrological Wheel, that is how he will express his more extroverted side (excuse the psychobabble vocabulary, it’s just commonly used and I’m trying to limit verbage).

A child begins to develop social awareness and skills at Age 3.  The Yale Child Center Study books say that a child’s vocabulary increases very rapidly at this age, something like 8 or 9 words a day.  This is very interesting from a Jupiter Standpoint because Jupiter rules all intellectual skills related to developing opinions about how people ought to behave.  It rules Organized Religion, Advanced Education, Law, and Publishing.  A child under this influence will have strong awareness of ethics, grammar, rules, laws and not necessarily enforcement or actual acting out of said activities.   So, these children will be to understand how people ought to behave and they will begin to share their opinions about it.  Often Sagittarius is able to be very outspoken about difficult subjects and to get away with it because they have enough “panache”.  On the other hand, sometimes Sagittarius just offends and I wonder if the phrase “Out of the Mouths of Babes” comes from people who were dealing with a 3 year old child.  Children at this age are learning to play with others.  The Yale Child Center books say that they may struggle with the ideas of competition.  This would be related to the Jupiter influence.  Sagittarius is a Centaur, half man and half horse and he represents the Hunter and Sportsman.

The Pisces side of Jupiter rulership expresses spirituality and imagination.  I suspect that Children begin to further develop their fantasies at this age.  Little Girls become Fairy Princesses.  Little Boys begin to imagine themselves as, well ….  I don’t know if Cowboys and Indians is still considered PC among little boys, but something like that.  Often,  lonely children will make up an imaginary friend.  Pisces is also related to needing privacy and to be alone in order to get in touch with one’s higher self.  It is also related to deception.  Children at this age might begin to understand the idea of keeping secrets.  They will understand finer points of manipulating the truth.  And there’s no better way to learn this type of behavior than from parents who are divorcing.

As far as Play goes, Yale Child Center that children will begin to play with other children around this time.  Sagittarius brings lessons in how to deal with Competition and Games with Rules and Pisces brings lessons in how to be a “Loser” in a graceful way (wonder how many Step-Mothers are going to use this as ammo against their kids).  Since Jupiter is represented at this age by a Square transit aspect one has to look at the fact that squares come along to teach us a lesson.  The lessons are not easy to learn and children need guidance.  I imagine that the idea of Sharing comes in big at this age.  Children of Divorce are probably awarded a whole lot for their ability to Share with others by their divorcing parents, and the parents have to remember that the children might go overboard with this trait later on in life.

In divorce a child will have to compete with step-families in order to get some attention.  One can see how a child might feel lost within that environment.  As one can see from all the hostilities and bad vibes from Step-Mothers, children are immediately labeled as “manipulative” and probably will remain stuck in that verbage within their families for the rest of their lives.  This is just the result of selfish adults and lousy parenting, of course.

Children at this age will probably enjoy and strongly identify with having a pet, especially a big pet as both Sagittarius and Pisces rule larger size animals.  (Virgo rules small household pets).  So children will want to go to the Zoo and to the Farm, etc. etc.  I imagine that they will enjoy travel very much.  It gives them a chance to practice charming strangers as both Jupiterian signs are good at doing.  Of course, in this day and age, parents have to watch out that the kids don’t walk off with the strangers.  (I suppose one could do a research study by observing the kids who are traveling alone at the airport to see if the 3 year old seem to be the happiest – facetious comment, sorry Carolyn, I know that was you, don’t know if you’ll have been able to tolerate reading down this far).

Both Sagittarius and Pisces are capable of understanding very complex social interactions.  Because of the Happy go Lucky side of Sagittarius and the Magical Otherworldly Side of Pisces, they will seem fine on the outside.  (Well, Pisces can appear to be a little spacey and inattentive).  Sagittarius brings lessons in understanding Humanity and Pisces brings lessons in understanding how to Empathize with others. These are very valuable social skills to develop properly.  If forced to freeze at this age due to trauma, a child inside might be suffering from great fears that not only can they not express due to their limited experience and vocabulary but that they will be aware that they can’t express due to understanding retribution from others.   They understand how this will affect others in the bigger picture.

In Stephanie Staal’s book, The Love They Lost, adults who describe how their lives were affected by their parents’ divorces at Age 3 say that they have vague recollections of life before the Divorce and of the Divorce itself.  They tell very complex stories of what went on in their families afterward with understandings of jealousies and favoritism.  There are descriptions of feeling like an outsider (Probably the reason why Sagittarians develop interests in International affairs).  As adults there are descriptions of being “commitment phobes.”

Within Astrology one learns that Jupiter is strongly phobic about making commitments in relationships since it tends to be a freedom loving and independent energy.  Pisces if often considered to be an unreliable sign.  These interpretations are broad generalizations and have to be considered case by case according to natal chart, present chart, and overall environment and experience.  In some cases this may loosen up a conservative style chart, it may create a total flake.  Either way, a child who feels traumatized at this age may partially freeze within an energy that is very idealistic and enthusiastic and uplifting for others and suffers some anxieties about always showing this positive face to others.  If there are fears of commitments, this means that the person needs to look at the disparity between how he/she feels and about how he/she makes himself look like he feels.

Since both Sagittarius and Pisces are concerned with how people interact on a Global Scale the examples I’ve found here show an ability to reach out across National and Race boundaries in order to unite people.

Jupiter is the biggest planet in the Solar System and has the strongest Gravitational pull of any of the planets.  And its rulership within Astrology reflects this.  It is related to Expansion, Growth, Overflowing and Overdoing.  It is a positive, jovial spirit.  But sometimes it can promise too much and think it can accomplish more than it can actually do.  There is sometimes a problem with hypocrisy because of this.  Jupiter knows how things ought to be and how to act and that there are others who are suffering more.  It is learning the correct rules and grammar, but it suffers from severe anxieties sometimes in keeping up with all its own rules.

On a physical level one can see a child who is concerned with his small size.  He may begin to wish to be larger like the adults and he may wish that he could walk faster.  Jupiterians tend to be a little clumsy because of this bad judgment about size and I wonder if this continues into adulthood through trauma.  Think of all the weird problems that Alice in Wonderland has with her size after falling down the rabbit hole.  Or the fairy tale about Goldilocks who struggles to find just the right size of bed to sleep in while at the Bears’ house.  Or even the Princess and the Pea who can still feel the pea underneath 20 mattresses.  Boys will relate to all the stories of Heroes who have to accomplish many tasks in order to save the Kingdom.  Hercules, for example.  Hopefully girls read and identify with these stories now too.  Jupiter rules Publishing and storytelling.  He rules the opposite side of the Pole across from Gemini which is also related to writing (along with Mercury’s other sign Virgo).  One would expect some writers to come out of this crowd.

One problem that one would consider through a negative manifestation of Jupiter would be the tendency to overdo and to have problems with addiction and escapism.  These kids might happily be parented by a TV and their Computer games and their distracted, divorced parents might allow this to happen.  Kids at this age probably need to spend time outside getting used to strange people and environments because they will be open to them at this point.

Mariah Carey is a great example of a child whose parents divorce under Age 3 Jupiter influence.  For one, Mariah has a big voice.  I heard an interesting interview with her on Larry King where she says that she is eternally stuck at Age 12.  This is around the time of the Jupiter Return which shows that she really identifies with that energy.  Mariah is currently married to a much younger man, the Jupiterian desire for eternal youth, and they like to have fun by visiting theme parks and taking the scary, fun rides.

Poetess Maya Angelou also went through her parents’ divorce when she was 3 years old.  She has written many memoirs about her extremely difficult childhood and became famous for her first book I know Why the Caged Bird Sings. (Nothing like a Jupiterian to explain how to deal with being trapped somewhere.)  Angelou’s life story is an example of someone who can survive and thrive through extreme adversity.  Jupiter rules International Relations and Angelou is a great example of someone who was able to reach out and communicate her struggles as an African American during the Civil Rights era to the rest of the world.

Along those lines as well, Farmerworkers’ Rights Activist Dolores Huerta went through her parents divorce at Age 3.  After leaving her Father in Texas, Dolores moved with her Mother and siblings to California where the family made a living by running a Hotel.  Talk about Vesta energy of Hearth and Home.  This even extends out to her concern for the Rights of those who work the land.  Huerta became a leader in farm workers rights and has lived a life as a very independent thinker.  There is another Cycle coming up at Age 4 which the Dwarf Planet Ceres makes.  Ceres rules Agriculture and I wonder if this Cycle and the transit of this planet figure strongly in Huerta’s biography.

Film Maker Charlie Chaplin went through his parents’ divorce when he was 3 years old.  Due to his parents being unreliable Charlie and his brother had a lot of free time to wander around London as children so Charlie’s Jupiterian sense of adventure was more strongly developed at an early age.  The brothers moved to the U.S. while still very young.  This shows the International influence.  Chaplin became famous for his comedy and his portrayal a tramp, both very Jupiterian traits.  Chaplin also used his art to show his opinions in order to speak out against Political powers.  He spoofed Hitler in his movie The Great Dictator.  And he had to flee back to Europe after being accused of being a Communist.  “Out of the Mouths of Babes….”

Since Jupiter rules Higher Education I would expect that many of the children whose parents divorce during a part of their Jupiter Cycle might place more importance on Academia.  One such person is Anthropologist Clifford Geertz.  Can’t say that I understand what Geertz wrote about but can say that he spent a lot of time in other cultures interpreting symbols of different cultures.  There aren’t very many Academics from his era who are considered to be highly successful.  I suppose that this field responds to those who grew up with strong Authoritarian influences, or at least I’ve heard that this is a very unappealing characteristic of dealing with Academics by my Child of D friends.

Queen Elizabeth I of England didn’t actually experience a divorce.  Her Father Henry VIII chose to murder her Mother instead of divorcing her.  Well, he was King.  But, in their own way, this might be considered a divorce.  And Elizabeth I certainly reflects the Independent, Free Thinking Jupiterian type.

Last but not least I’ll include Beatles singer Ringo Starr.  Talk about a Charmer.  This was the easy going Beetle.  He’s also a very relaxed version of a Child of Divorce because he liked his Step-Father.  Ringo’s parents divorced when he was 3 years old and he subsequently became drummer in what is probably the greatest Rock Band of all time.  The Beatles is known for its positive, open and loving sound.  Jupiter can be attracted to loud sound, by the way.

Copyright 2010.  Spoiled Children of Divorce blog.  All Rights Reserved.


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