Spoiled Children of Divorce

If Your Parents Divorced Between Ages 5 and 6
June 6, 2010, 6:30 am
Filed under: Astrology stuff, Exemplary Children of Divorce, Uncategorized

There is definitely a strong Cyclic Return emphasis at Age 5 as regards Planetary Returns.  Unfortunately, I can’t really say what it is with any certainty.  Age 5 represents the time in a child’s life when he experiences his first strong phase of the Nodal Return Cycle.  He actually will have passed through the first Square of the Nodal Axis to his natal position before his 5th Birthday.  What the Nodes mean is actually sort of a mystery.  There are a number of poles which are used by Astrologers in readings which are actually Abstract points in the sky, not represented by any specific rock or block of gas or ice.  The Nodal Axis pole has a Northern End and a Southern End.  They are supposed to indicate a karmic balancing act that a person must work on spiritually.  The South Node is said to show a person’s comfort zone which will tend to pull him back in life if he relaxes too much into it.  The North Node is said to show the ways that a person can balance out the non-constructive tendencies he naturally falls back on to.  These will show opposing signs and houses and will be further colored by aspects made to planets.  Often, the Nodal Axis is thought to show Karmic Path and Past Life activity.

I’ve noticed that often the Nodal Axis, both the natal and the transiting, will show times when major life changing events will occur.  And I think this is how I’m tending to interpret their influence on Children of Divorce.  The actual return for the Nodal Axis comes a couple of months before Age 19 so their cycle lines up very well with modern society’s idea of entrance into adulthood.  Before this they seem to influence Children right around the times of their 5th and 10th Birthdays.  I say this because the Gessell Institute (became the Yale Child Center for Child Development) books all specifically point out that these ages are very positive times in a child’s development.  In sections on talking about childrens’ behavior at age 5 they say “Five is a nodal age; and also a kind of golden age both for parent and for child.  For a brief period the tides of development flow smoothly.  the child is content to organize the experiences that he gathered somewhat picemeeal in the less deliberate fourth year.  …  the five-year-old is self-contained, on friendly and familiar terms with his environment.”  (pp. 51-52  The Child from Five to Ten by Arnold Gesell, MD, Frances L. Ilg, MD and Louise Bates Ames, Ph.D.).

I’ll add a description for Age 10 from the book when I get to that age.  It says pretty much the same thing.  It’s amazing how many correspondences with Astrological cycles these Doctors came up with in their books.

All of the planets have Nodal Axes.  The “Nodal Axis” that is generally used for interpretation shows the “Nodes” for the Moon so they are related to Lunar qualities.  The Lunar Nodes are the points where the Moon’s path crosses the Sun’s path (called the Ecliptic) in the sky.  They are related to the Eclipses which occur very close in time to wherever the Nodes are.

A major rulership of the Moon, of course, is connected to the relationship with the Mother and with women and with child birth and homelife.  Gessell Institute says that Children at Age 5 are very close to their Mother.  I have no idea how that would play out in a divorce.  Many Children of Divorce are much closer to their Mothers than kids from intact families.  I’d imagine that if the Mother has to leave the nest at this age or rejects the child in some way, the child might not get over the hurt very easily than he might at other ages when his interests and needs are elsewhere.

And that’s great because otherwise I simply can’t find a whole lot to say here as to what to look for.  I suspect that these children might not feel as heavily influenced by their parents divorces as children at some ages.  It’s sort of a gift, in a way, to be “stuck” at this age.  I have one friend from this age period and when talking about her parents divorce she says that she had known that it would happen and that it helped.  She didn’t have any memories of her parents getting along so the divorce seemed to be a relief.  She did, however, carry a lot of anger and resentment about her life for the rest of her childhood because she went through a lot of difficult times.  It has always been amazing for me to see that she had such a pragmatic attitude about the whole thing.  That’s pretty much what the Gesell Institute says about this age.  Children at this age are more realistic than they were at fantastical Age 4.  They like to fit in wherever they are.  I have noticed that this might tend to put them on a cyclic loop in their own relationships and they might be extra vulnerable to go through their own divorces at the times of future Returns (Around Ages 19, 37, 55-6, etc.).  Sometimes they will say that going through their own divorce has helped them to understand their parents’ divorce.

I sort of wonder if people who are traumatized at this age just see the event as being an event in their lives.  They don’t really register the emotional side as much.  Maybe because they are “stuck” in a docile phase they don’t draw much attention to themselves.

In Stephanie Staal’s book The Love They Lost, there is talk about growing up in split families.  One female (p. 169) calls herself “The Hub” between her parents. They seem to feel alienated and ripped apart between parents.  A male on p. 159 says that “love (was) doled out in increments.”  A female on p. 25 says:  “I really don’t see how my parents found the fifteen minutes of agreement it must have taken to conceive me.”  A 28 year old whose parents divorced when she was 5 years old says on p. 169:  “I’ve taken to spending holidays in my apartment instead of visiting my mother’s family.  I’ve done that for the past three Christmases.”  “I just don’t want to be reminded of what I’m missing or of what I think I’ll never have.  Sometimes when I’m really feeling sorry for myself, I’ll wish I were adopted.  I imagine that at least that way both parents would want me.”  They definitely talk about their parents as two distinct individuals who have nothing in common.  One male on p. 144 says that he developed a lot of anger of all the back and forth and eventually found guidance through a mentor who he sees as his real “Father” Figure. The Father is absent in a lot of the examples given.

He finds the Mentor at Age 19, by the way, which is just after the first Nodal Return.  One can see the Jupiter square and trine influence still in effect here I think.  Jupiter is related to High and Broad Mindedness and I’m think that children who have a strong Jupiter will look for role models who will help them develop this side of themselves.  Jupiter will look for ways to be happy.  The liberating energy of Jupiter is still felt at this age as well.  Perhaps this is the Nodal influence combined with the liberated Goddess Asteroids and Jupiter transits.  On p. 105 a female remembers being left with the babysitter while the Mother went out and had fun.  Another female (p. 116) became independent and immigrated to the U.S.  (Jupiter = Foreign Travel).  This female only seems to have short term relationships.  Independent people will struggle with long-term relationships, that just comes with the territory.

In Staal’s book there seems overall to be a backsliding with regards to the children and the parents when Divorce occurs at Age 5.  The children seem to lose all memory of before the divorce, their parents don’t discuss it.  The children know they are on their own, they know that a missing parent has screwed up.

In my list of examples I have a lot of performers, mostly Leo North Node people too.  Actress Lauren Bacall, Actor-Writer-Filmmaker Ethan Hawke, and Liza Minelli are famous people whose parents divorced when they were five years old.

Liza Minelli’s mother was the famous singer/actress Judy Garland so there is obviously a prominent influence from the Mother in her life.  Whether or not she received great parenting or not, Liza has followed in her Mother’s footsteps career-wise and is an equally great performer.  Judy Garland died in 1969 when Minelli was experiencing a Waxing Square to her natal Nodal Axis (to the degree).

Minnelli has been a working actress since she was 3 years old and she’s had a very eventful life so I’m not sure that I can really say that her Nodal Returns are more prominent than any other aspect she would have gone through.  When she was 19 she became the youngest woman to ever receive a Tony award for her work on Broadway.  She would have had another Nodal Return in 1983 and it doesn’t appear that this was a year which brought significant changes.  She has had a few marriages.  The last one was a social sensation and the man she married turned out to be a louse.  She married him on her 3d Nodal Return.

Ethan Hawke lived with his Mother after his parents’ divorce.  She remarried when he was 10 years old which would have been Hawke’s first Nodal Opposition.  Hawke began acting in his teens and became famous for his role in the movie Dead Poet’s Society at Age 19, time of the first Nodal Return.  Hawke’s biography seems to show that he was more interested in becoming a writer than an actor but that the acting just took off.  Although his great success is not considered such a problem for the rest of us, Hawke may feel unfulfilled by acting.  He actually has written a book and a screenplay which centers around divorce.  If he has a conflict at all about having followed his true life path this may be why.

Lauren Bacall never saw her Father again after her parents divorced when she was 5 years old.  Wikipedia says that she remained very close to her Mother.  She also had an early blockbuster success at Age 19 when she was cast in the movie To Have and To Have Not.  This is where she met and fell in love with Humphrey Bogart.  Bogart died in 1957 from Cancer and Bacall married actor Jason Robards in 1961 during her 2nd Nodal Return.  She also gave birth to a son that year.  That marriage ended in divorce.

So, it appears that a divorce at Age 5 might be beneficial for a child who wants to go into acting.  Bacall has a Leo North Node and Hawkes has Leo South Node.  Leo is the sign of the Actor.  Minnelli has a Gemini North Node.

Comedian Lenny Bruce had a terrible childhood because of his parents’ divorce at age 5.  He was shuffled from one home to another for ten years or so.  From his biography it seems that Bruce may have been more of a product of the loquacious and potty mouthed Jupiter Trine Age 4 crowd.  He became legendary for his break through use of taboo language on stage and was arrested several times during his life on obscenity charges.  I wonder if his parents may actually have split up earlier and the biography their divorce became final when Bruce was 5 years old.  Lenny Bruce remained very close with his Mother and worked on stage with her as an adult.  He gave a legendary performance at Carnegie Hall in 1961.  This would have been very close to his 2d Nodal Return.  Bruce died of drug related problems at age 40.

Princess Diana of Wales also went through her parents’ divorce at Age 5.  She lived with her Mother for that year and her Father sort of abducted her and her siblings when she was 6 years old.  This shows something odd going on in the relationship with the Mother.  Her life biography falls right into place with her Nodal Returns later in life.  She was married right after her first Nodal Return and then she was killed in a car crash during her 2d Nodal Return.  Of course her natal Nodes were highly afflicted.

Going back to the 16th Century I’ve found that Johannes Kepler also may have gone through a divorce in his childhood.  His Father was a mercenary soldier and left the family when Kepler was five years old.  Kepler is an Astrologer’s best friend because he was a brilliant scientist and astrologer.

Lenny Bruce, Diana, and Johannes Kepler all had Leo North Nodes as well.  I’ve discussed before how Children of Divorce who become successful seem to do so in the types of professions that can achieve success at a young age.  Acting would be one of those.  So perhaps this is something that would be looked at further.  Maybe it’s just a coincidence.  I don’t have enough examples to say for sure one way or another.

Copyright 2010.  Spoiled Children of Divorce blog.  All Rights Reserved.

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