If Your Parents Divorced When You Were Age 5.5 to 6.5: Swingers

If Your Parents Divorced When You Were Age 5.5 to 6.5: Swingers

July 1, 2010, 11:12 pm
Filed under: Astrology stuff, creativity, Exemplary Children of Divorce, Possible Personality Traits of Children of D., Uncategorized

I’m going to back track now to Age 5.5 because I didn’t talk about the first Jupiter Opposition which occurs around that time.  Jupiter’s opposition can happen earlier or later than this date.  It seems to be a distinctive version of the Jupiter Cycle as far as relating to Children of Divorce.  The Opposition is often considered one of the difficult transits.  It is the point of the orbit when Jupiter is farthest away from its natal position and suggests a feeling of being pulled in the opposite direction, of needing to always find balance, and of simply being opposed.  Often oppositions in a natal chart shows that a native struggles with relationships in whatever way the planets, signs and houses imply.  So the effect of a divorce on a child at this time might be significant. Jupiter is a freedom loving influence which often doesn’t enjoy being pinned down by others and so right off the bat one can see where trouble might lie when a traumatic event occurs just as a child is having this first experience in life.

This planetary return phase also seems to relate strongly to the first major Progressed Moon phase which comes after it, so I’m going to talk about these two as they seem to work together.  Also, the Moon’s Nodal Axis has a first major transit aspect, the trine, which is considered an “easy” aspect.  This occurs a little after the 6th Birthday and might provide a positive balancing element.  Age 6 might represent a time when the easy days of childhood are beginning to grow into something else.

The Planetary Return Cycles and phases don’t happen on a rigid schedule. They are much different for each individual and may account for much individualization in interpretation between natal charts.  A person who is born in one year won’t share the same Moon and Jupiter transits and progressions as someone born 11 years later and will experience the two parts of these cycles in much different relation to each other.  I don’t know which Astrologer if any has looked at this as it relates to how the planets can be interpreted in the life.

Over and over again the writers  of the Gessell Institute/Yale Child Center books say and that children develop at slightly different ages and so individuality must be considered for each child.  There is no “normal” age of development, just averages.

Trying to connect planetary returns and phases of development in children with any set event, such as a divorce may not be possible because divorces often occur over a period of at least a year and in some cases may take up a person’s entire childhood.  However, there is usually a certain age, or a specific year that a person will refer to as the year that his parents’ divorced.

So at roughly around Age 5.5 years old Jupiter opposes its natal position and this can happen earlier or it can happen later depending on how fast Jupiter is traveling in its orbit.

At an average age of 6.5 a child will experience his first major difficult progression from the Moon, the first square. I’m going to discuss the progressed Moon transit phases mostly in relation to Saturn in the next post because they rule the opposite ends of the same pole that rules family and parents and relate strongly to each other and in my opinion show a particularly difficult stage of development for a Child of Divorce to experience break up of a family. But, I’m finding is that there seems to be a strong relationship between the Jupiter Opposition and the first Secondary Progressed Lunar Return in the charts of celebrities who grew up in divorce.  The charts of the successful people that I’m looking at seem to have very dominant placements of the moon in their charts.  It is either in conjunction with an angle or with the Nodal Axis in most of the charts in close to all of the charts of celebrities that I’ve collected for around this age.

I’ve discussed the very basic keywords that describe a Jupiterian influence in the natal chart.  I’m keeping the interpretations very broad for right now.  I’m having a lot of trouble reading any predictive value of upcoming Jupiter Returns in the individual’s later lives with regards to these early partial Jupiter phases of Return cycles.  I’ve checked Jupiter Return years for both the natal chart and the phase chart and they don’t seem to be very reliable indicators for experiencing future traumas.

I can, however,  see the influence in the personalities through their larger than life and easy going talents and accomplishments. The kids in this group have the pizazz and charm of Jupiter, and the ability to appeal to broad audiences.  Many of the Jupiterian influence types will often find careers in Jupiterian fields, probably experience a lot of “lucky breaks.” I can see that they will easily detach from family situations that don’t work for them and go off and do their own thing.  I wouldn’t expect a Jupiter influenced individual to have only one marriage himself as an adult although I definitely don’t have enough examples to use to say if this is true one way or another.

At around the age of 6.3 years, a child will experience his first trine of transiting Nodal Axis to his natal Nodes.  The Nodal Axis is related to describing  a person’s destiny.  It shows the characteristics that will most likely lead to failure on the South Node end and the characteristics that will most likely lead to success through the North Node.  Trines are positive influences that show a time in which there is a feeling of a good sense of ease and flow within the life.  This might help a child accept what is going in his homelife.  Trines can always lapse into a sense of slackness, though, and not dealing with crisis so perhaps this explains why there are few examples of children from this age in my list.  There are some psychological problems related to easy transits that are very similar to the problems I talked about with easy Jupiter transits.

Children who go through their parents’ divorce between the Ages of 5.5 and 6.5 seem to be caught between two planetary return phase cycles with the Nodal Axis trine stuck between.  I wonder what the significance is of the 6th Birthday in Child Development.  This represents the Sun which is the opposite big gravitational pull in addition to the Moon and Jupiter.

At Age 6 as with all even numbered ages there will be the third Mars Return which can be a tempermental influence which could include how a child handles anger.

The first Progressed Lunar Square on average occurs around Age 7 but may happen as early as 6 1/2.  Since Square aspects are thought to bring “Challenges” or “Lessons” this will bring a first struggle a child has dealing with all things having to do with his Moon sign.  Remember the Moon rules Mom, the Family, the Homes, the environment, Emotional Needs and Bonds, etc.  It is a key ruler in the birth chart.  The Secondary Progressed Moon Cycle doesn’t complete until around Age 27 so this is a very long cycle.

Usually the Progressed Lunar Return is looked at in terms of its relationship to the Saturn Cycle since the Moon and Saturn rule opposite ends of the same pole. The Saturn return cycle phases, especially in childhood, come very soon after the Secondary Progressed Moon Cycle.  This varies widely.  The difference in time might be only a couple of months or it could be a year and a half.  In kid years, that’s eternity.

In the chart examples I’ve been studying for successful people I’ve noticed a couple of interesting coincidences.  The Moon seems to be prominently placed in the natal chart (I’ve only got 6 examples from Age 6, not very many).  The Moon will often be in aspect to either the Nodal Axis or the  Angles of the birth chart.

In the 6 charts of Celebrities that I have, Jupiter is in major aspect with the Nodal Axis as well in most of the charts.  This perhaps shows that the trauma of divorce triggers the natal Jupiter-Nodal Axis into action and perhaps pushes them into the spotlight.  As we will see, they might struggle internally with being in the spotlight as well.  Jupiter doesn’t revel in the limelight the way that the Sun or Saturn might.  Jupiter is competitive, however, and will love the game of trying to beat out others.  Once he gets ahead he won’t want to lead, necessarily, unless there are many other indicators in the birth chart.

By coincidence, the Gessell Institute Books say that at Age 5 1/2 children go through a variety of behaviors which seem to match this Jupiter transit and which can be directly explained by both the Jupiter Opposition aspect and the Progressed Lunar Square (and the 3d Mars Return). The Gessell Institute Doctors wrote that children at this Age go through a sort of SeeSaw of behavior patterns.  They are said to swing between extreme behaviors of being good and bad.  This is a signature both of the Opposition aspect and also of Jupiter which does things in a big way, to the extreme in either direction, and of the Moon which naturally ebbs and flows.  As I’ve said before, Jupiter has the strongest gravitational pull of any planet after the Sun.  He has many of his own moons and tends to attract comets who crash into him.  The Moon clearly has a strong gravitational pull on the earth which is observed in the tides.

Interesting how so many childhood playground equipment centers caters to a child who is learning how to gain balance physically.  Seesaws, swing sets, jungle gyms, balance beams are all the toys that 5 1/2 year old naturally play on.   Children at this age are throwing their weight around all day in a sense of play. This connects directly with the Astrology of Jupiter and the Opposition aspect.  Jupiter is the largest planet.  Kids at this age are very aware of their bodies, expect to grow very fast and are very aware of their physical size.  Jupiter can also bestow a sort of clumsiness as kids are constantly having to relearn how to use their fastly growing bodies.  (I wonder if trauma can come through later on as being accident prone, or extremely physical in some excessive way).

The Gessell Institute book literally says that children are “Bipolar” at this age.  I think the book was written before this word was used for the mental illness so am pretty sure they weren’t referring to mental illness.  I can only imagine how many children today who are struggling to break out of a traumatized childhood event like divorce are mis-diagnosed with this disorder.  Truth is, their bodies and minds could be stuck in the wild swing set of what was going on in their families at Age 5 1/2 when the divorce occurred.  It wouldn’t be easy to try to develop out of this age without a lot of parental guidance.  The next two phases, Moon and Saturn, are as I said (in my opinion) difficult phases for Children of Divorce and I can see how a Jupiterian might prefer to just stay as he is if everything Lunar and Saturnian going on in in his home is falling apart.  The next two Return phases coming up are biggees related to dealing with home-life needs and family and parents and as I’ve said.

The Moon and Saturn do rule opposite ends of the same pole.  So it’s interesting how the big Jupiterian polar swing seems to occur right before.

I sort of wonder if kids whose parents divorce at this age remember the time as being a sort of roller coaster of ups and downs. However, on amusement park rides one is supposed to sit on one end or the other of the Hammerhead, not at the fulcrum or in the sidelines the way where Children of Divorce generally end up.

Through the Jupiter Opposition one can also see how a child will be viewing his Relationships.  Oppositions will show relationships just because they show two ends of the same pole.  The relationships that a 6 year old will look for could be different from the relationship adults look for.  He will hopefully have friends.  And, as Jupiter represents Teachers one can sense that a child will especially benefit from guidance from Teachers or other Role Models at this age.  Jupiterians have lots of opinions and they will perhaps be seeking opinions from others at this point so that they have something to emulate.   Kids at this age will want to share their big Jupiterian Vocabularies which are developing and they want to be exposed to the wonders of all kinds of other ways of living.  If parents who are fighting with each other share their Jupiterian opinions with the kids then the kids will probably use this as intellectual information on which to base their own opinions.

Kids at this age might also become very aware of parents who are Jupiterian in negative ways.  The Irresponsible Daddy who is away traveling all the time, and the Fun, Sexy Mommy who is gone all the time with her boyfriends will let the child know that he is either invisible or will have to act just like her when he/she grows up.  Jupiter can tend to overdo whatever it does.  So a parent who drinks too much, or parties too much, or watches too much TV, or eats too much, or spends all his free time studying for a Doctorate and praying at Church will probably become a very prominent memory in the child’s life.  Often the child will grow up feeling invisible in relation to some sort of larger, gravitational presence.  That’s often a good thing, but there could be a feeling of psychological abandonment to reconcile as an adult.

At any rate, the Child Development experts at Yale (and Gessell Institute) say that there are certain difficult behaviors that crop up at this age.  Stephanie Staal’s book also shows some of the same problems.  Astrologers seldom discuss the Jupiter/Sagittarius problems because often they suffer from them personally.  I do tend to notice that Mutable Sign suns are literally often diagnosed as Bipolar (not that they are) and I’ve met plenty of Sagittarius/Jupiter women, in particular, with that DSM number.  I’ve also met a couple of Sagittarians who said that they were the quiet child who never stood out.  Perhaps this is the difficult side of the Jupiterian childhood.  Often they outgrow this and become the life of the party, but deep down they worry  about how nothing ever feels right.

Jupiter struggles with extreme anxieties.  Some people are naturally quiet but I don’t think that Jupiterians are happy in that state overall.  Often one might expect that a Jupiterian influenced person will struggle with needing freedom in relationships later on in life, relies too heavily on chance and good luck and may easily tire of pulling g’s from all those swings in life style.  Often they will become territorial and need a lot of space in their living environments.  People from this age on my list seem to have a larger than life vibe.  They seem to understand that one must show a style and a face toward the public.  They may be “pulling” away from others who they have relationships with just as Jupiter is pulling away at its own placement in the astrological chart through the opposition phase of the return transit.

Weird thing is how prominent the Moon is in the celebrity charts for this Age.  In 5 out of the 6 charts that I have (admittedly too small a grouping to make mass generalization), the Moon is in conjunction with either the Nodal Axis or an Angle and major planets in the chart.  I think this might be significant in that the next major Return phase cycle will be the first separating square that the Secondary Progressed Moon makes to its natal position.  As I’ve said before, the Moon rules Mother, Women, Family, Home, Food and feelings.  Often they will become successful through a “face” and so they will need a lot of “down time” in order to regroup.  So, I’ll be pointing out this part of the examples I have as well.  I’ll be discussing the actual progressed Moon charts in the Age 6 – 7 group.

Within Divorced Families, as described in the examples in Stephanie Staal’s book The Love They Lost, this moodiness and inward behavior does come through.  This could be from the Jupiterian Opposition aspect or it could be from the Progressed Moon square which comes up roughly within a year.  If related to Jupiter I would suppose that the child survived by making himself invisible.  If related to Moon I suspect that the Child used the Lunar influence outwardly towards parenting the parents through the divorce rather than inwardly in order to understand his own emotional needs as would naturally happen.

The children seem to try to deal with their feelings through self-protective and defensive ways.  On p. 38-39 of Staal’s book a female describes how she held her feelings in until she left home at age 19.  Since the Moon rules the Home it seems that any shift in that situation might trigger an emotional flood of sorrow later on in life.  This also shows the big Jupiterian life swings that I’ve described.  This sense of being overwhelmed by feelings with no place to properly express them could certainly be Jupiter.  It’s definitely considered a Lunar influence.  This female says that she kept herself busy in order to deal with the trauma that she was completely exhausted by the time she hit her 20s and spent much of that time “floundering around.” (Nice watery Moon imagery there).

Another female, on p. 110 (Staal), describes how she did all the housework while her Mother’s drinking took over.  She was praised for “being the strong one” and stayed at home rather than going out with friends as a sort of moral and loyalty thing.   All examples that I have in Staal are female.  I’m not sure what to make of that.  Perhaps it is an easier age for a female to relate to than a male because of the Moon influence?  Perhaps in most families the caring Father presence is lost and the boys become lost as well from lack of a role model.

All examples in Staal discuss the divorce in terms of their emotional reaction to it, which shows a total Lunar influence.  People from the younger ages in the book often describe what happened rather than by the child/adults’ reaction.  Descriptions:  “I was shell-shocked for years.”  “I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders.”  These children will struggle intensely if the Mother struggles.  They often will go through a negative phase of reaction to the Father as well.  Often they will switch from living with one parent to living with the other parent when problems crop up.

There is a positive example in this book.  One female (p. 74) said that her parents “protected” her from the Divorce.  Protection is what the Moon wants.  The parents kept a friendly relationship with each other.  She saw her Mother flourish and remarry a man who she liked.  Her Father and Step Father got along.  The sign of Cancer in astrology is ruled by the crab image.  The whole existence is related to hiding the soft hyper sensitive body behind a hard outer shell.  If a child doesn’t have to do that then he may not feel harmed by the event (that’s common sense, of course, the astrological influence will be very strong under Lunar transits than other planetary aspects).  Coming out of the self protective shell which is created to survive emotional harm is a major challenge for Lunar people.  Best to provide the shell and let the child “exist” for a while?   In happy households, a child going through a moody phase might be allowed to exist if only for a while.  Divorce is an extroverts’ activity, however, and a parent who sees a moody child will think that the behavior is the fault of the divorce.  It is important for children of divorce that they are allowed to grow into and out of their own phases.  How to do that in reality is anybody’s guess.  (Actually, one simple technique from Astrology: you can look in the child’s natal chart for areas that sextile and trine the traumatized planet to see how to redirect the child’s interests, possibly offering a path around the problem).

With the Jupiterian influence, the child will put up a facade and appear fine in order to take care of the parents’ feelings.  He will be a people pleaser.  He will bottle this up for as long as he can but eventually will suffer from having kept his needs invisible for so long.  This might not be true for a child under a heavy Saturn influence who will have the exact opposite type of reaction, but I’ll get to that.

Since Jupiter and the Moon are related to consumption and food and overdoing, I sort of wonder if there are a lot of issues around weight control from this age group.  These kids might grow up feeling very hungry or they might starve themselves as a way of denying their needs, something which would match their need for family.  There would be a strong emotional bond with food in some way.  Probably keeping regular meals going and demanding that there is no fighting allowed at this time would be a good policy for the child’s health later on in life.

I discussed how I think that Jupiter might be connected with fantasies in children’s lives through its traditional rulership of the sign of Neptune.  Among these fantasies are the themes that most little girls have of being Princesses.  (There is a really funny story that Sagittarius comedian Sarah Silverman tells about 3 and 4 year old girl’s desire to be princesses, it’s very funny use of double entendre for Sarah but I think she describes a big part of how Jupiter relates to childhood).  Princess Diana of Wales went through the initial phase of her parents’ divorce at Age 5. But her Father “abducted” her from her Mother’s house right around the Holidays when she was 6 years old.  Since she literally became a Princess later on in life she sort of embodies the Jupiterian connection that I spoke of earlier about Jupiter being connected with Princesses.   Sorry, I just love these literal connections.  Diana’s life did sort of evolve in wide swings.  She struggled with her weight.  She was super cool and charming.  And she showed the humanitarian and caring spirit that a combination of Jupiter and Moon will show.

There really does seem to be a Princess like quality to the successful women who grow up from this relationship age.  Both Audrey Hepburn and Tyra Banks were six years old when their parents divorced.  Audrey Hepburn grew up in War time in Europe.  Her parents divorced in the middle of all of this.   Hepburn, according to Wikipedia, said that her Father’s abandonment was the biggest trauma of her life and her marriages fell apart because of deep insecurities related to her Father.

I can’t find any connections between the time of her divorce and later events in her life  with either her Prog. Lunar Returns ((1956-7, 1984-5) or her Jupiter opposition Returns.  But it is easy to see how strong the events of this early age stayed with her.  The Moon is related to Food and Care and Hepburn later became an Ambassador for UNICEF because the aid packages sent by the U.S. after the war actually made her sick. Her natal Moon is placed very prominently in her chart in the first house conjunct her Ascendant and opposing natal Neptune/DESC. It’s interesting to wonder about her Jupiter Opposition placement as well.  Jupiter is also related to style and good taste.  I remember watching an interview with Hepburn in which she describes how she realized that she would have to develop her own style in order to succeed.  Can’t remember all the things she did to her appearance, but do remember that she developed her own personal style by exaggerating her appearance.  She said that she exaggerated her eyebrows.  Exaggeration is a key Jupiter word.  Natally, Hepburn had a conjunction of Jupiter to her North Node in Taurus which shows how strongly the events related to Jupiter would be in her life.  I’m not sure if she suffered from Anorexia but I suspect she was.

Tyra Banks also has natal Moon conjunct an angle and involved in an opposition to an outer planet heavy.  Her Aries Moon is conjunct her Midheaven and opposing Pluto 29 Gemini Rx and squaring Saturn 3 Cancer Rx.  So her first progressed Lunar Opposition would have tripped off this big t-square in her chart.  This aspect shows a lot of self control in a person.  But it can show an element of ruthlessness and cruelty and of secrets that one doesn’t speak about.  Banks says that everyone in her family has remained friendly with each other since the divorce.  Like Audrey Hepburn, I’ve seen interviews with Banks where she explains her success through some exaggerated way of looking.  In her case, it’s through her “Schmize.”  That’s how she smiles through her eyes.

My all-time favorite singer, Aretha Franklin, would fit into this category.  She isn’t a Princess, of course, she is a Queen. And so, she doesn’t fit into my interpretation for Jupiter in that regard.  All that emotional repression that a child struggles with during her parents’ divorce seems to have served Franklin just fine through her music.  I’ve read, however, that Aretha has suffered from time to time from bouts of depression and this does seem to fit with Progressed Moon problems.  It might show the swing influence from Jupiter which could bring huge emotional extremes.  Certainly her music has that glorious Jupiterian sound and this woman definitely can swing.

Among male examples whose parents are divorced at Age 6 are Actor Mickey Rourke and Singer Frank Sinatra, Jr.

Frank Sinatra, Jr. became a professional singer like his Father.  His Father was absent during much of his childhood because of work commitments.  Sinatra, Jr. has the same Moon conjunct ASC (in Cancer) that Audrey Hepburn had.  In his case, Moon is opposing natal Sun-Desc.  (This means that he was born during a Full Moon which was just rising as he was born).  Sinatra, Jr. knew from a very early age (Age 5) that he wanted to be a professional singer just like his Father even though his Father didn’t want him to follow in his footsteps.  One can see the independent Jupiterian relationship struggle here.  His Father literally was a Sagittarius.  Sinatra, Jr. is a Cancer/Capricorn person who naturally expresses himself both through his ego (the Sun) and feeling (the Moon) by being strongly connected with parents.  His parent, his Father at any rate, was independent and freedom loving.  His relationship with his family would be super prominent in his life, that’s for sure.

Sinatra, Jr. was abducted shortly after his first Nodal Return at age 19.  His Nodal Axis is conjunct his Moon-Asc and his natal Pluto so all these elements were triggered just as they would have been right around the time of his parents’ divorce.  At this point his progressed Moon was squaring his Ascendant exactly, and natal Moon by 4 degrees.  Pluto rules crime and mafia and abductions of all types.  This proved to be a huge test for his Father’s love for him.  It involved paying the Kidnappers a huge ransom for Sinatra, Jr.s’ release.  This presented another obstacle for Sinatra, Jr., though, for his early attempts for a singing career.  People questioned whether or not it was a publicity stunt (The Moon = Publicity, for what it’s worth).  Later on, Sinatra, Jr. put his own career on hold in 1988 to handle his Father’s career as musical director and conductor.

Jupiter, on the other hand, in Sinatra, Jr’s natal says something completely different. It is placed in his chart at 26 Leo and it’s unaspected to other planets.  This means that it doesn’t relate to the other planets in the chart.   This would have been under big stress when his parents divorced.  It’s placed in the 2d House of Money and Self-Esteem.  So the divorce probably intensified Sinatra, Jr.’s desire to be in show business and to be recognized but at the same time worked less well with the rest of his personality.  Interesting that Dad said that he didn’t want his son to follow in his footsteps.  Turns out that all the Sinatra children became singers.  Daughter Nancy even sang a song about Boots being made for walking.  There’s an interesting footsteps metaphor in there somewhere I’m sure.

Actor Mickey Rourke is the Poster Boy for Jupiter Opposition-Moon Square Child of Divorce.  He also shows the extreme good luck that is probably associated with Jupiter.  He often portrays characters who struggle with larger than life ideals.  And he also shows a great ability to bounce back.

I don’t have a birth time for Rourke so can’t find his Ascendant and angles.  His Moon is probably in Leo (acting) and might be conjunct Pluto and the South Node in his chart.  So, right there we see similarities with Frank Sinatra, Jr.s’ chart.  This shows the emotional depths that Rourke has gone to in his life.  Interesting that he has switched back and forth between Boxing career and an acting career during his life.  These switches occur right around the times of his Secondary Progressed Lunar Returns.  Rourke’s Acting Career started in 1979 during his first Prog. Lunar Return.  And he had a successful comeback in 2005 during his second progressed Lunar Return.

Jupiter is related to interests in sports and often I’ve noticed that Jupiter Return Children of D often develop childhood obsessions with Sports.  The whole idea that the Gessell Institute says that these children are moody and swing back and forth in their behaviors are shown literally in Rourke’s biography.  Literally, also, his career choice in sports involves needing to take a swing at the opponent.  He won his first boxing match at Age 12 which would have been just after his first Jupiter Return.  Rourke’s natal Jupiter is at 21 Taurus Retrograde.  It is squaring his natal North Node-Pluto and possibly Moon conjunction in Leo so Moon and Jupiter transits and progressions will always be connected with each other in his life.

The exceptional good luck and survival skills to reinvent himself may gain some help from the fact that Rourke has Pluto in conjunction with Jupiter and the Nodal Axis in his chart as well. This is a signature for success in life.  But, the trauma from the Divorce may have set Rourke on to an uncontrollable roller coaster as well.  I know that he has struggled to overcome some domestic violence problems as well as addiction problems.

Copyright 2010. Spoiled Children of Divorce blog.  All Rights Reserved.

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