Spoiled Children of Divorce


In Memorium – Zahra Baker
November 16, 2010, 10:50 pm
Filed under: Astrology stuff, Living with Grandparents, Murder, Uncategorized, Violence

Zahra Baker would be celebrating her 11th Birthday today — if she were alive.  But she’s not alive.  Her remains have been found scattered around the North Carolina area where she had lived for about the last 2 years with her Father and Step-Mother.  Her Step-Mother is in jail and her Father is out on bail.  No one has been accused of the murders yet.  I don’t know how to read this strange part of the Judicial System, that’s for sure.

Zahra was a truly sweet little girl who led a really difficult life.  Her bio Mother is said to have had post-partum depression after Zahra was born Nov. 16, 1999 Giru, Australia (hope that info’s correct).  From what I can gather, the Mom left her family when Zahra was about 8 months’ old.  She perhaps also had a drug addiction.  Zahra lived with her Grandparents and her Father in Australia.  She was diagnosed with bone cancer in 2005 and with lung cancer two years later.  She had lost part of her leg to the cancer and most of her hearing from the cancer treatments.  Venus has been Retrograde in the signs of Scorpio and Libra since the time that Zahra was reported missing.  It was also in conjunction with Mars probably when she died.  This is an aspect often related to great intensity in relationships.  Scorpio is related to jealousy and revenge and murder and Venus is related to envy and marriage.

And then Zahra’s Father met her step-mother on-line and moved his daughter to the United States to be with this woman 2 years ago. I’ve read some accounts that the couple had drug addictions as well as the bio mom.  The step-mother, is no doubt, one of those lovelies that I saw on the internet forums when I first started writing this blog.

I don’t want this post to be about how terrible Zahra’s life was or what idiots her parents are.  I want it to be a celebration of her life.  She had a beautiful beautiful smile and her spirit positively glows from the photos which are posted of her. I read a story about how she and a friend had walked around picking up trash and had discussed wanting to be environmentalists.

But her life was tragic.  And she was only 10 years old.  I suppose it might be thought that it is rare for a child who is growing up in the type of hell that Zahra was living in to still manage to have such a lovely personality.  But, we really don’t know.  Kids hide these things well.

The media is all over this story, but still manages to avoid discussing the issue of what Children of Divorce suffer.  There is no discussion of how single parents become much more abusive if they fall off the beam through addiction and bad love life choices.  There are no warnings about how a parent must protect his/her child from abuse from the stranger who they force their child to live in the same home with.

I’m going to add this link to an article about Zahra.  There is some good discussion from people who grew up in divorce and had to deal with parents and step-parents who were less than ideal.  One person warns that an official never talks to the child in front of the torturer because the child can’t open up.  Another person adds her story about how her step-mother continues to bad mouth her over the internet.

I haven’t been watching shows like Nancy Grace which follow every inch of the legal proceedings.  Usually they bring in psychology experts to discuss a case.  So I don’t know if anyone has been discussing the situation or which topics they chose to discuss.  I’m pretty sure that they avoid discussing issues related to Children of Divorce and would concentrate on finances, mental illness, and addiction.  The step-mother can be accepted as evil.  The Father can be accepted as irresponsible.  But what is the child’s situation?  The Australian newspapers have discussed the actual relationships of the parents. But there will never be a  presentation of studies or statistics of what children go through.  If they can’t find mental health problems in the child then, well, this is just one of those big tragedies that we like to dote on.

One commenter mentioned how the media will be all over the judicial proceedings unless the court blocks access.  The commenter thought that this would be another disaster like the Caylee Anthony case.  I’ve been noticing how often the children of these big profile childrens’ cases tend to be from divorced homes.  Perhaps the parents, being on their own and also so full of guilt, that they can’t control this environment.  Or the parents seem to enjoy the extra attention.  Sometimes they become incredible activists like Polly Klaas’ father.  If the media can’t discuss the underlying issues which went on in the child’s life, then I certainly think they should ban the crappy reporting from the courthouse.  I know that the police are extremely aware of what actually goes on. Why doesn’t anyone mention all the low profile cases like this?  I’ve mentioned before that I had read a book written by a Detective who said that he will tend to assume immediately that when a child dies who lived in a step-family situation that almost always the step-father will be guilty of the murder.  This is of course a drag for the step-father’s who are innocent.  We generally hear about those cases immediately.  But we never hear about all the cases where the step-father really did commit the murder.  Where are the statistics for that one, Nancy?

It’s also important to remember how much more stressful it is for divorced parents to raise a child who becomes seriously ill.  Single parents usually are very self involved rying to keep their own heads above water.  How can they manage to take care of a child who gets Cancer?  Zahra had a solid family with her Grandparents, it sounds like, back home in Australia.  But she was thrown into a nut house with her Father’s internet marriage.

I’ve said here before that I don’t think that Divorce is necessarily bad.  I just think that the institution of marriage should be taken very seriously when kids are involved.  It was created in order to make the best possible situation for people to raise their kids to be as strong as possible. People need to take a serious look at what actually goes on behind all those closed doors.

Astrology wise, I’ll note that today is Zahra’s 11th Birthday.  That’s her Solar Return.  She has a natal Scorpio Sun in a one degree conjunction with Mercury Rx.  I once had a teacher who said that the thing about Scorpios is that they never have boring lives.  This sign is symbolized by a phoenix who flares up into flames in a ritual cleansing and purification process and then rebuilds himself out of the ashes.  This is a very determined sign because of that. Scorpio is often joked about as ruling Sex, Death and Taxes.

Because Zahra’s natal Sun at 24 Scorpio was widely conjunct natal Pluto and Chiron at 6 and 10 Sagittarius, her early Birthdays would always connected with the energies of these two planets (Chiron’s not a planet, asteroid).  Pluto rules Scorpio so this brings out the nature of that sign.  One can assume often that a child with this set up will suffer a lot of crises early in life.  Pluto is connected with health issues that run very deep within the body, like Cancer.  Chiron rules issues with Health which involve difficult healing.  Chiron was a Healer/Teacher who could heal everyone but himself.

Zahra’s natal Sun was squared by the long standing conjunction of Chiron-Neptune in Aquarius this year.  That’s very stressful   It also lines up with her step-mother’s chart.

The step-mother is going through a Neptune square transit this year.  This is a mid-life crisis aspect and is also often involved with out of control drug and alcohol use and getting stuck in situations of self undoing through unrealistic, rosy thinking.

At age 11 Zahra was past her Nodal Return at 8 Leo.  And she would have had a Jupiter Return at 27 Aries next year.

Her first Mercury Return would have been around November 29, 2000 and would have been opposing Saturn 27 Taurus Rx.

First Venus Return would have been around Sept. 6, 2000 and would have been involved in a Grand Trine with Saturn 1 Gemini trine Neptune 5 Aquarius Rx.  Venus stands out in her chart as this planet was Lead planet of a Locomotive chart pattern.  Venus is also in her own sign of Libra.  Of her early Returns, her Venus Return came first before Mercury and Sun.  And Venus was passing over Zahra’s North Node when she was 8 months old when her Mother left.  If the information I’ve got is correct that would have been when Zahra’s mother left.  I can see how women would play a big part in her life but doubt I would have suspected that it would turn out quite like this.

First Mars Return would have been around Oct. 18, 2001 at 23 Capricorn.


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