Spoiled Children of Divorce

Female Boxer Shot By Her Step-Father
April 6, 2011, 8:05 pm
Filed under: Leaving the "Nest", Long Term Fallout, step-, Stepfamilies, Violence | Tags: ,

A Female Boxer, who is undefeated in her country of Germany, was shot by her Step-Father/Ex-Manager on April 1, 2011. Rola El-Halabi is 25 years old and her career may be cut short because the Step-Father strategically shot her in her hand and knee.   She had separated from her Step-Father professionally in January it seems because of some issue he had with the guys she dated. Story.

I wish Rola El-Halabi a full recovery and freedom from all anger and blame so that she may continue to excel in her life.  It’s not worth holding on to these problems.  She probably already knows that.  And if she doesn’t she will probably show up and punch my brains out.

Sort of reminds me of the story I posted about the Step-Father who crashed in on his Step-Daughter relationship with her boyfriend.  The Boyfriend’s Step-Father video-taped the encounter and the whole thing became public because the girl’s Step-Father was a cop.

Detectives say that in situations of family violence Step-Fathers tend to be the first person to look at for responsibility.  I admit that’s a drag.  What if they are innocent?  Since wealthy people are said these days to be least likely to get divorced I suppose this is true, though.  Poorer people have less impulse control probably.

The extra-added emotional tension of the step- situation perhaps sends the whole thing over the edge.  The psychologists would probably say that there’s no difference between step- and bio- (because there are probably so few Children of Divorce in the psych professions).  In the U.S. Psychologists are trying to eradicate the “Step-” part of the word.  They say it brings on negative connotations in social situations.  People are working even harder to fake like they like and respect each other.  In many situations they probably do, or at least it would be a situation similar to adoption.

However, this would also make the step-child identity even more difficult for the child to articulate.  Children have limited vocabularies, after all.  They understand the word “Love” as simply “Love”  Not as “Flirting” “Dating” “Sex” “Engagement” “Marriage” “Couples Therapy” “Cheating” “Betrayal” “7 year Itch” “Boredom” “Jealousy” “Abandonment” “Divorce”.  They have absolutely no sense of how these things happen in certain orders because they have experienced them as things that happen to the people who take them to the zoo and who feed, shelter and reprimand them.  And they’ve learned about it all within a very short window of time.   Who wouldn’t want two Fathers and two Mothers to “Love”  even though they all hate each other?

I’m also reminded of Julie Andrews who also developed a successful career because of help from her Step-Father.  She also admits in her memoir that he sexually molested her, or at least tried, I forget which.  The sexual feelings between Step-parents and their step-children.  There’s something to talk about which has to remain unsaid.  I suppose bio parents also molest their children, but I suspect that there is a much higher incidence between step-families and incest.  New TV Movie, Mildred Pierce, which shows the step-daughter as evil witch.  Of course, it takes place in California in the 1930s.  And California is one of the only states in the U.S. that doesn’t track information about Divorce…

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