Spoiled Children of Divorce

ABC News Coverage on Parenting Children of Divorce
April 27, 2011, 9:42 pm
Filed under: Astrology stuff, Authority

This is a nice interview about parenting Children of Divorce from ABC News.  Ann Pleshette Murphy interviews psychologist Joanna Ball on a segment that focuses on parenting.  They discuss how to try to understand if a child is upset by his/her parents’ divorce.  Ball tells how to try to understand how children express Depression and Anxiety.  My critical side just wants them to skip that business and  try to understand how children internalize emotional trauma.  For example, they look for problem behaviors or changes of behaviors.  I personally would be more worried about the kid who goes through all that and never shows any change of behavior.  How do you know whether a child is having behavior issues and whether or not the child is just going through a phase?

Ball describes basic behaviors to look for in Depression.  She points out the difference between Depression in Children and in Adults.  Children will tend to become irritable.  They have changes in eating, sleeping, concentrating, and boredom with their usual activities.  According to Ball, children show anxiety by becoming clingy and needing reassurance.  They can become avoidant.

Interviewer Ann Murphy asks Ball to discuss how to deal with the specific problem of a Grandmother who wrote in asking about her grandson.

It’s interesting to note here that the grandparent is asking the question, not the parent.  It’s good to point out that parents are so overwhelmed during divorce that often they can’t get around to really doing much for their kids.  It’s really great when the relatives step in to try to help.

From an astrological point of view this example is really interesting because the divorcing couple has an 8 year old son and they have been split 1 1/2 years.  This is one of the worst times to get a divorce, according to me, if using Astrological Cycles in order to understand children’s development.  That is, of course, if a child is subjected to divorce trauma at this age in such a way that his development is somehow now encouraged.

This child would have just been entering his first square of progressed Secondary Moon and first Saturn square.  These are the two planets that rule the parents and the home life.  They also are major rulers of depression in a chart.

The Secondary Moon square is often related to an internal phase of development which can be associated with moodiness, whining, and feeling picked on.  Moon relates to feelings and the Mother.

Saturn relates to a phase of development which can be associated with the Father, learning rules and limits and discipline, and how to deal in the outside world.  This is a more social, extroverted phase.

It’s interesting that the Grandmother is worrying that the boy isn’t growing out of  what could be understood as Lunar phase.  In other words, he’s continuing to whine a lot and drive everyone nuts.  Instead he appears to be stuck in the moody Moon behavior and starting to express it outwardly through Saturn activities.  He is whining whenever he loses a game (social humiliation, dealing with failure, social grace) or visits his Father (Saturn, literally, also fear, not feeling safe, insecurity, judgements of not living up to expectations).

Ann Murphy starts whining about how horrible it is to deal with children who are whining.  Joanna Bell discusses how it’s important to realize how upsetting it is for children are generally upset by changes of scheduling and routines that come with Divorce.

Saturn can also develop into difficult problems with career, goal setting, acting too tough, no give and take, and ability/inability to bounce back from failure later on in life.  Routines are important lessons for children going through Saturn transits.  Habits are very important for children going through Lunar transits.  A child going through either of these phases will need more reassurance than children going through some of the other transit cycle phases.  They need to feel safe through maintenance of habits and developing a foundation on which to build his own life.

I think that often children at this age will respond much better to divorce if somehow the parents can maintain something of these planets in the family structure.  Stephanie Staal interviewed a man who I seem to remember would have been at the progressed Lunar square phase during his divorce.  He pointed out that his Mother (Moon) made a point of making everyone continue to get together for dinner every night.  Food, Meals, Habits are all Lunar activities that, according to me, would probably be more important to maintain for a child who is going through a trauma at this age.  His basic growth development will be getting what it wants, in other words.

Ball also suggests that parents go together for therapy before subjecting the child to it.  That’s great advice, but, wow, I’ve gone through two examples of talking to people going through divorce who said they’d do anything for their kids.  I suggested having the parents go together for therapy and that was out of the question.  I just got to hear endless crap about what a jerk the other parent is and how they are screwing up the kids.  So, Joanna Ball, I can really appreciate your beautiful calmness.  And thank you for giving what I feel is the right advice.  And good luck getting anyone to follow it.

At any rate, hopefully this boy will receive the help that he needs now so that he will go through succeeding Lunar/Saturn cycle phases easily.  They are often thought of as the most difficult until later on in life.

Copyright 2011.

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I am looking for people to fill out a survey related to Children of Divorce. If your parents divorced before you turned age 18, please take a couple of minutes to fill out this 8 question online survey. Your answers to this anonymous survey will help us to better serve current children of divorce. Thanks for your help! You can find the survey at: http://www.kidmin1124.com/divorce/

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