Spoiled Children of Divorce


Happy Father’s Day
June 19, 2011, 11:32 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Great article from the San Jose Mercury News which celebrates the rising numbers of Single Father households.

Although Single Mother households are the norm, they triple the amount of households led by men, Single Father households have risen in California by 20 percent between 2000 and 2010 according to the U.S. Census.



Characteristics of Parents Who Divorce
June 15, 2011, 9:31 pm
Filed under: links to articles

The Huffington Post is a treasure trove for articles which monitor the effects of divorce. Articles on the site which revolve around the kids are mostly written by Divorced Mothers who say that their children don’t have problems.

That’s not true. It’s one of those Big Cultural Lies that Hitler wrote about. Something like, if you want to influence the public you have to tell them a big lie because the common man/woman only understands small lies and won’t know what the hell you are talking about.

Women are probably more likely to believe big lies because we don’t think abstractly as well as men do (The reason for this might be hard wired or it might be forced into us by society, I’m not saying which, all I know is it is true, just go to a Knitting Stitch n Bitch group and you will see how petty minded women are, even in knitting the men tend to be better, but some of the younger designers are catching up. You can also go to College and see the difference).

The Huffington Post wrote a really interesting article about how Happy People are most likely to Divorce. I doubt the study was truly scientific. I’ve noticed that most alcoholics see themselves as being very Happy and Fun people and non-drinkers as sticks in the mud, so I sort of wonder what scale was used for measuring Happiness. It’s so subjective. Happiness is kind of one of those emotions which is best viewed through fuzzy thinking so I’m not sure I would believe that it can be measured. I’ve mentioned before that Divorce is for extroverts and extroverts will act extra happy because they want lots of people to hang with. Introverts couldn’t care less, they’ve already got plans.

Now Huffington Post has added another article. A male researcher did a study which found that women who lose their virginity early in life are more likely to Divorce later on. The article ends with saying that the study didn’t differentiate between women who were victims of sexual abuse and women who simply developed early. Men were not studied.

I don’t mean to say anything negative about Huffington Post. I appreciate that they are covering the subject at all. It’s just frustrating to see that they have nothing much to report on Children of Divorce from the kids’ point of view. And then they go ahead and post the shit that the parents write. Mostly successful writers who don’t have any experience that is similar to the general public except for maybe a couple of middle managers working in big corporations.

So here’s the negative again: I’m getting a Jeremy Irons type of vibe from the guy who researched the new study. What’s that movie he starred in about the psychotic twin gynocologists? A woman’s worst fear. This is like when I went to the Anorexia Lecture Panel and no Anorexics spoke. Everyone on stage, all expert in the field, was completely flumoxed by the entire illness. It’s good because it made me realize that this is what being Anorexic is all about for many of us, we have grown up being the invisible ones. Our presence is not necessary. Funny how this is true for Children of Divorce as well, but probably in different ways. At that talk, one speaker, an specialist who herself was obese, literally blurted out that she can’t stand how morbid anorexics are, fat people are at least fun because they have energy (it’s call malnutrition, bitch).

How can you know what you are studying if you haven’t bothered to ask questions? You can’t. But, apparently you can develop a whole career and a nice living out of it.

Anyways, young girls who are raped/molested often become very promiscuous afterwards and make bad decisions with regards to relationships because of it. So it would make sense that they would dive into a destructive marriage. Rape lowers the victim’s self esteem, yadda yadda yadda. If it was your step-father or step-mother that of course complicates the situation for your parent.

On the other hand, a young bipolar girl, becomes very promiscuous because mania makes one that way. That would be because of heightened self esteem. And it can get confusing if the Bipolar girl gets raped and has to deal with both lowered and heightened self esteem. It’s also very sad when the psych pros diagnose the sexual abuse victims as Bipolar because they exhibit rage and suicidal tendencies. And, of course, the Bipolar girls will make up stories about their own rapes because they’re working the situation.

And, then, God forbid, there be a young girl who simply develops early on. That means that she has watched TV and has friends. It might be because that’s just how she is. And she might require extra parenting which she won’t get because her parents are distracted. It might be because her culture is so sexist that her culture and family only accepts women as future housewives and mothers. And cultures which have been “that way” for so long aren’t going to change overnight.

The explanations can go on and on. Layer a two household parenting fiasco and you have madness. Total madness. Best to get out. Get laid and get out.

And then It’s easier to believe the big lie. Divorce does not hurt the kids.

So, there we are, we are at least making “in roads” in trying to identify what type of personality that you as a Child of Divorce are most likely to have been raised by. These are the people who will become your shrink. Remember, Happy People are really pleasant. They are also very shallow.

It’s good to know that if you are also characterized as a Happy Person then you fit the mold. Your parents won’t have to think about you and can concentrate on their own sex lives and relationships. If you are considered a Sad Person then get ready to be pilled, or at least hold the pills under your tongue and spit them out later, that stuff doesn’t work out of the public sewer systems and is killing the fish and has been proven not to work anyway. Truth is, your parents probably place a higher value on their own Happiness than on their responsibilities. Truth is, you don’t really have a family and your first attempts to create one for yourself away from your Bio’s is probably going to be a negative assortment of addicts and mentally ill people with no motivation to improve their lot in life. Your parents’ desires to be sure that you are Happy is practical. Happy people don’t complain. They also don’t solve problems and aren’t very creative. Socially, Happy people make those around them Happy which is a great advantage in the world. They also tend to talk your head off which can be quite boring especially in combination with the fact that they are crappy listeners. That’s why they had to get divorced in the first place.

So, go ahead and ask your Mother what her first sexual experience was like. No doubt she needs someone to talk to about it. Beware. Happy people often come up with the saddest stories. That’s because they don’t use caution. And, if you are under the Age of 9 you are probably not supposed to think about these things so you must keep it a secret from the Social Workers who are no doubt knocking your doors down.

Peace out. Be mellow. The drama rages.



Your Parents’ Marriage
June 9, 2011, 10:32 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

This is like being stuck in a time warp. Yahoo has pulished an article about low conflict, semi happy marriages. The writer, who looks like a young woman, is completely oblivious to the fact that a really huge percentage of her peers grew up in alternative families. (since we generally can’t afford to go to college perhaps she hasn’t met any of us). She says something like, do we really want to settle for a marriage like our parents have? My question is, who hired this idiot? Sorry, but the 1950s ended in the 1960s for most of us.