Spoiled Children of Divorce

Cell Phones and the Child of Divorce
December 29, 2011, 3:56 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Listened to an interview on NPR with a famous reviewer of technology equipment.  Hmmm, can’t remember his name right now.

One of the questions asked was what age did he recommend buying a cell phone for his children.  He apparently is still married to his children’s Mother because the issue of divorce didn’t come up.  He said that he had bought his oldest son a phone at age 14 but was planning on buying his 12 year old daughter a phone.

I’ve looked around a little and it seems that most parents feel it’s best to give a child their phone when they are around these ages.   Except in Divorces when the average ages seem to be around 8 and 10.  The reason is not as much as for safety, the reason the married parents say they give their children a phone.  But, in divorce it seems that this reduces stress for the parent over having to talk with the ex.  Parents can talk directly with the children.

I definitely haven’t researched this.  It would figure that children of divorce would have cell phones at a much earlier age in the same way that they have to take airplanes by themselves at a much earlier age and they have to adapt to living with strangers.  It sort of amazes me when experts who are married parents don’t even think about children in divorce.  Even at this late date and with single parents bursting out the seams in society.  I looked at one legal site set up out of Massachusetts which talked about how age that children are given cell phones is a huge argument between divorced parents which often requires lawyering.  If it’s not one thing it’s just going to be another.  Divorcing people will have to argue over every last thing.


“May die 2day”

Taboo subject here.  Even more forbidden than trying to seek help about how to deal with abusive step-parents.

This article is about a Mother who couldn’t get food stamps to feed her 2 children.  During an almost 7 hour stand off at the Welfare Office in Laredo, Texas, Rachel Grimmer’s 12-year old daughter posted a few frightening messages on her Facebook account about what she was going through as Mommy waves her gun around in despair.  At one point, she says she’s bored.  Guess perhaps she grew up listening to threatening rants.

At around midnight the Mother shot her two children, the 12 year old daughter and the 10 year old son in the head.  They have survived but are both in critical condition.  Ms. Grimmer then shot and killed herself.  I guess the welfare office supervisor wasn’t harmed.

Obviously, the Social Worker could have used some training.  He’s obviously telling lies all over the place about what was done to help.  And there are obviously some racial issues going on here.

The kid in this situation doesn’t ask for help, probably would resist it if it were offered, and it won’t be offered anyway because family, friends, and psychoblabbers  can’t stand the drama or even actually are amused by it.

The article tries to make sense out of the relationship between this family and the welfare system and it can’t.  It’s so unbelievable it sounds like Alice falling down the rabbit hole.

This brings up a lot of issues.  But, for right now,  I pray that those kids will recover.

Here’s a good article from Australia about Filicide.  That’s people who kill their children.  Talks about connection with Divorce.  And the tendency for everyone around, friends, family, therapists, etc., to go into denial, or at least do nothing.   The grandmother wrote back on Facebook to her granddaughter that she was “there for you.”   She could have at least told the kid to take her brother and go hide or to fake a convulsion to distract the adults.

“Mental Health, Filicide, Parental Separation and Divorce:  The need for early intervention and a better coordinated approach.” by Dr. Daniell Tyson and Prof. Thea Brown.

EDIT added December 28, 2011:  Both of Rachel Grimmer’s children died within 2 days of the shooting.  May they Rest in Peace.

Google Scholar Articles
December 2, 2011, 12:26 am
Filed under: links to articles

A little slow, finally found Google Scholar where one can look up Scientific studies about Children of Divorce.