Spoiled Children of Divorce

Parents as Sex Traders

When your parents divorce, often your relationship with both of them changes.  Whereas, previously, you may have been closest to your Father, you may become closer to your Mother after the divorce.  Then there are the stories of the child who becomes so difficult and unmanageable under care of one parent, he/she has to change households and has to go live with the other parent.  And then there’s the story which I just saw last night on TV…

Saw a very frightening show last night on Sex Trafficking.  The United States has grown one of the biggest, if not the biggest, Sex Trafficking capital of the World.  Sorry I can’t remember the name of the show, was wanting to link to it.  I think it was on MSNBC.  Am certain I will repeat some inaccurate details here in trying to describe the situation.

A young girl in the Bay Area was repeatedly raped by her Father from the age of 3 onwards.  At the Age of 8 years old her Father began to pimp her in order to make enough money for the family to buy a house.  The parents divorced when she was a teen and at that time the Mother, needing money, began to pimp the girl.

So, there you go, horror stories beyond anything most of us can imagine.  Her parents are immigrants who follow beliefs that daughters can be treated this way.  I grew up with what I think are pretty conservative values for women’s place in the world.  I’ve discussed my own situation, no sexual abuse, so I’m not saying that this happens only in Asian families.  This is a problem for female children overall in dysfunctional families.

The whole time growing up, this girl maintained a straight A average in school and played on her Soccer team.  She was very close to a teacher, I believe her old Soccer coach.  This young woman then managed to get in to UC Berkeley where she began therapy in order to try to make sense out of her life.  I believe she said that she is now around 25 years old and has stopped talking with her parents since she was around 20 years old.  Her strength is incredible.  She is speaking out in order to help others who might be in this same situation.

The parents were interviewed on the show and didn’t admit to anything.

Exemplary Children of Divorce – Michael Bowen

Was wondering if the current Occupy Wall Street phenomenon is a product of Children of Divorce.  Are most of those people from Divorce or from Intact families.  Sorry, had to ask, nobody else could care less.  And  I guess we’ll never know.

I read that it was initially created by 2 ad executive guys up in Canada with a poster of a ballerina dancing on a Bull.  Of course, there was already a desire set in motion by the overthrow of Dictators of the Middle East beginning with Egypt.  That’s all the information I care to research on that topic.

Since I’m probably too old to understand what’s going on out there I did begin to look up a couple of wiki articles about the Flower Child movement.  Interesting that so many of the Arab Dictators held power for about 40 years which means that they came into power right as the U.S. was giving its power up to the hippies.

Most of the Hippies were probably from Intact families just because they grew up in the “ideal homes” of the 50s and because they were rebelling against their boring, stable childhoods full of irritable people.  That’s just my take on things, of course, which may diverge from reality.  I think this because Children of Divorce don’t really need to question authority much. We probably weren’t raised by authoritarians (and that’s a good thing, especially if you don’t mind feeling a little unsafe).

What I did notice is that one of the initiators of the Flower Power movement was a painter named Michael Bowen.  Details of Bowen’s childhood on Wikipedia and other sites say that his father was a rich dentist in Beverly Hills.  So Bowen was from an affluent family.  Another stand out detail said that his Mother’s lover was a gangster who was responsible for bringing Bowen to San Francisco for the first time when he was a kid.

There is no mention of parental divorce in Michael Bowen’s biographies, but a biography on his Father’s obituary says that he had divorced Bowen’s Mother in 1944.  This means that Bowen would have been about 7 or 8 years old when his parent’s divorced.

Michael Bowen’s obituary also says that he died of complications from childhood polio.  There’s no mention of having been sick as a child in the biographies.  Children with serious illnesses and who are from divorce probably don’t want to attract much attention to their neediness because they know they won’t get their needs met if they become a burden.  At any rate, it looks as if the LSD fixed whatever ailed him.

Michael Bowen’s parents seem to have been some pretty wild characters so it makes sense that Bowen grew up to not only be an artist but also to have created the first gathering of the Flower Children in San Francisco.  His Father had worked for a gangster in Chicago before becoming a dentist.  When he moved to Los Angeles he met Bing Crosby and became the Dentist who started capping all the Movie Stars’ teeth.  He is said to have created “The Hollywood Smile.”

Michael Bowen’s Mother, Grace, dated the gangster, Benjamin Bugsy Siegel who built the Flamingo Hotel in Las Vegas.

So, this family was responsible for a whole lot of what the West Coast became famous for if any or all of this information is anywhere near accurate.

The first Love In or Be-In happened on Jan. 14, 1967.  It appears that Bowen made it through a good art school so perhaps he finished college.  I don’t know if he had siblings.  Bowen married 3 times and had two sons and two daughters.

California and Divorce

Having grown up in California and having grown up in the 60s and 70s in California when the no fault divorce law came into effect I’ve always been amazed by the level of hypocrisy towards the topic which this state embraces.

The No-Fault divorce law was created in 1969 and was signed into effect in 1970.  It was created to try to make Divorce a less difficult and stressful experience.  Within the next 5 years probably half the married couples in the State were divorced.  We all got through that time by watching “The Brady Bunch” on TV.  It also wasn’t atypical for kids to get together to talk about their drunk and stoned out parents and how there wasn’t any food in the refrigerator.  Kids were doing all the housework while Mom and Dad dated.  The psychologists became very rich.  Many Mothers became psychologists because they figured that being a Mom naturally led to being a shrink.  What they didn’t know is that they weren’t the caretakers in their families.  Their kids were probably absorbing all their talk about personal problems, failed relationships, stressed out finances, where to live, what to eat.  It wasn’t the other way around.  Am not sure about the Statistics but I remember hearing years ago that one in seven people living in San Francisco was a lawyer.  I’ve also read that San Francisco has the lowest amount of children of all the cities in California.  People move to San Francisco to repeat their childhoods.  Amazingly, when I lived there I noticed that most did not actually come from Divorced families themselves (natives did, of course).

I’ve mentioned many times my frustration that the CDC keeps statistics about divorced households for every state except California.  This is Bull Shit, of course.  It’s an extremely deceptive and dishonest way to keep statistics.  Don’t know if they’ve changed during the past year or so since I last checked, but have seen some articles which have turned to the Census bureau for statistics.  I have read a few anecdotal types of articles which say that the Divorce rate for California is around 75 percent.  Since California is the most heavily populated state I imagine that this would raise the National average a bit but what do I know?

What really amazes me is how the Governors of California, a state which touts extreme liberal views (these are true only if one visits select towns and cities along the coast, a total lie for anyone who travels 5 miles inland), has not only never had a woman Governor but has also never had a Governor who grew up in a Divorced family.

I’ve pondered before on this blog about how I think that Children of Divorce, having had to be the adults in their relationships with their parents, or at least having had to grow up much more quickly than the other kids at school, have no or little interest in becoming Governors.  Who the Hell would want to govern a bunch of single parents?  I mean, really.

Can’t remember if I posted on it but I do remember trying to wiki my way through all the Governors in the United States to see if this is typical across the entire country.  It seemed that the Statistics were very low.  I can’t remember what I found, but vaguely remember (and my memory is indeed vague) that the percentage was something like 10 percent of U.S. Governors come from Divorced homes. I never actually added the numbers because many people don’t discuss their childhoods and parental situations.

Barack Obama is from Divorce, though.  So, things may change in this regard.  He was a Senator before he became President.  I’ve mentioned before about how I think that being a Senator might be  something that Children of Divorce would gravitate towards.  Legislation and standing around saying “Can’t we all just get along?” while everyone else fights seems to right up a Child of D’s alley. There’s no way I’m going to research childhoods of Senators.  There are tons of them.  And that’s only one legislative branch.  From the way Congress is going, I’d say that many members of that branch have probably been through stuff that nobody is ever going to talk about.

California does have female Senators but they didn’t grow up in Divorced families.  I think that Politics is a necessary evil so it doesn’t interest me.

So, from the top, we can see why the silence on growing up in Divorce.  People who come from Intact homes just know that Children of D get 2 presents at Christmas and therefore are spoiled. I have no doubt that this includes all the Governors of California’s present and past who just want to give off the aura of a bucolic lifestyle full of total personal freedom.

Voters vote for people who will represent their own personal agenda.  And no one thinks that Divorced kids represent their own agenda. Even the kids who grew up in divorce because even if they’re successful at what they do they didn’t get there by discussing that particular part of their lives.  They probably became successful because they threw themselves into an occupation with more energy than the competition because they had no where else to hang out during childhood and adolescence and college.  There’s no affirmative action for kids from Divorce even though statistics show a very reduced rate for College graduates.  In the land of Psychologists and Lawyers and Real Estate Agents there are no studies about growing up in Divorce.  When you think about it, these are the professions which thrive on a high Divorce Rate.  In Political terms, growing up in divorce ought to be called “The Pity Party.”