Spoiled Children of Divorce


Divorce v. Adoption
May 2, 2012, 2:03 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

While listening to a talk show about adoption on NPR this morning I was struck by a couple of similarities between growing up as an adopted child versus growing up as a child of divorce.

I on iPad and may not get the link right so here’s the URL:

http://www.kqed.org/a/forum/R201205011000

The interviewer is Michael krasny and the interviewees are a panel of 4 adults who were adopted and telling their stories.

Adoptees talk a lot about the importance of genetics which may or may not make a difference to them. They often recognize the importance of this as they need the information for their medical records. They also desire having a relationship with their birth parents. Children of divorce who have step families go through a similar ( but not exactly the same) set of problems. If one parent disappeared the child has to undertake similar lessons in trying to understand the psychology why. It’s often not socially acceptable to question any of these relationship problems, which shows how children of divorce are so far behind adopters.

One father called in to say that his adopted daughter had committed suicide. He said that in looking back he realized that she, like many adoptees, never mentioned her feelings about being adopted and feels that having to stuff those feelings was largely behind not being able to cope with feelings as an adult. The father said that he feels that many adoptees tend to not talk about adoption. This is certainly similar to children of divorce.

Obviously there are many ways in which growing up in divorce is not similar to being adopted. For one, it’s ok to talk about the experience as a personal struggle rather than something that your parents went through…

That’s a nice show and is part of a series about how people live. Don’t know if there will be a similar show about growing up in divorce. Something tells me, no.


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