Spoiled Children of Divorce

Children of Divorce, Stalking, CyberSex

I don’t know if Children of Divorce are more likely to become Stalkers, but according to the book How To Stop a Stalker by Detective Mike Proctor they are more likely to be victimized by stalkers.   I’ve already discussed Stranger Danger and Divorce.  I’ve already stated that I think that grown Children of Divorce become victims more often than Children of Intact families.

Here is a quote from the chapter “Limiting Your Stalking Exposure”:

“…dealing with cyberpredators has shown that children in the following categories seem to be more at risk for being stalked than others on the Internet:  those who are shy, withdrawn, and/or who have low self-esteem; those with a weight problem; and those who have divorced parents.  We in law enforcement continually encounter such youths, who become victims not only of stalking but also of other crimes associated with being bullied and harassed, usually by their peers.  They are continually searching for acceptance.”

This information is paraphrased by the author from a meeting he had with Investigator Mike Harris who, along with his wife Cassandra, specializes in law enforcement investigations on cyberstalking of children.  This couple was interviewed by Oprah.  This was 10 years ago so I imagine that there is now more awareness of cyberstalking.

Sexual solicitations can be reported to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children CyberTipline (703) 274-3900.  I haven’t called to check if that number is still valid.  I wish that Psychology Schools would aggressively recruit burnt out cops because they could bring invaluable insight and skills into that profession.

I’ve said before that I think that introverted children might suffer from their parents’ divorces much more than extroverted children. I am certainly not an expert on this and am just giving my opinion but since no one else dares to have an opinion I might as well give mine.

I suspect that Divorce is a more comfortable experience for Extroverts than for Introverts.  I tend to suspect that Psychologists tend to be extroverts which is why they personally don’t think that there’s anything wrong with growing up in Divorced homes.  They also may have lower iq’s than the normal college graduate, and in most cases that average taxi driver, trash collector, electrician and plumber, but I suppose that will never be tested.

With all the media attention on bullying lately I wonder if any studies have focused on Children of Divorce to see if they are more or less likely to bully others.   I know that the folks from Intact Families who always have to state that they wished their parents had divorced are in a way bullying the Children of Divorce not to speak.  I mean, if it’s something that you always wanted, wouldn’t you be interested in what others who have actually experienced want to say about it rather than immediately butting in on their territory (so to speak) and whining with your grass is always greener problems?

1 Comment so far
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Ok, I’ve read a number of your blogs now to understand you have an established set of beliefs about the victimization of children of divorce and your rejections of set methods of societal retraining for those of us who come from dysfunctional backgrounds.
There are a number of reasons all these step mothers are flooding you with comments. 1. (and probably your favorite) they are fighting their own guilt and comforting themselves. 2. They are genuine and are concerned with the tone they can see from your blogs and are concerned from the motherly point of view and want to help – but that conflicts with your point of view and must be rejected or 3. They are bored, the TV’s down, they have no life, etc.
Now, I am a product of abuse, from a broken home, (I prefer that over the three divorces MY parents went through), I have been divorced and suffered with my daughter as she was abused by a step-mother (unfortunately I couldn’t figure out how to kill her without getting arrested ) and am now married to a Sheriff’s Deputy with two children – a girl Shelby 9 and a boy Paxton 11,
I feel like I know all sides of the coin. I could be completely wrong, but that is where I stand in the mix of all this.
I am also a 44-year old with a 24-year long career in journalism, with an IQ of 169, not to be confused with the shrinks that rate below the taxi drivers – I know they are bad, but really? (got to have a little humor)
Yes, in my line of work, children of divorce, abuse and neglect are much more prone to fall prey to internet stalkers, abusers, and the like. The cycle is repetitive until the victim breaks it. Much easier said than done,
The criminals I have seen, who have the above mentioned challenges in their early life face adolescence without proper positive guidance, face anger issues and act out, develop aggressive behavior toward siblings, parents and others leading to law enforcement intervention and then to a criminal history that follows them their entire life. Some can not break free.
Still there are others that on the opposite side of that same coin who are constantly doomed to be the victim, unable to break the cycle because they learned how to take the abuse and have developed a pattern of feeling they are somehow responsible for beatings or verbal degradation.
Its a place no one in their right mind would want to be. And, even with a diagnosed sociopath for a father, you have to take into account that people who say they wished their parents had divorced do not comprehend what you and I fully understand. Its an ignorance that can not be changed or educated out of someone. In their own innocent, naïve way, the emotional jesture behind the words is simply meant to let you know they are trying to identify with you.
YES, I understand how stupid it is, but it should be the intent that counts, because they sincerely do not know any other way to say it other than I’m sorry. Its a way to compare it to their own life – a stupid human reaction.
I commend you on the breadth of your information here and the research you obviously do.

Comment by Marla Pretty Brock

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