Spoiled Children of Divorce

Teenage Girls From Divorce, tragedy at parties
April 30, 2013, 9:23 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Recent news of the past 6 months has carried repeat stories of high school girls who were gang raped at parties.  The perps photographed parts of the acts and posted them on the Internet.  The girls were then taunted and shunned by their peers and all 3 committed suicide.

I send my condolences to the families who are also victimized by these horrible crimes and don’t want to say the following about the family dynamics that I noticed in the news.  But, I am going to say it because its a big problem and other girls might be able to be saved.
Here goes.
The identity of the girl who lived in Ohio has been kept private.  I don’t know what her family is like.
The girl who lived in Ohio was from divorce.  She lived with her mother and her father was remarried.
The girl who lived in Northern California was also from divorce.  She lived with her mother and her father was remarried.
I mentioned a while back that it seems that kids from divorce, girls and women in particular are more vulnerable to violence from their partners.  This started with a cluster of pregnant women who were found murdered by boyfriends and husbands.
It seems that girls from divorce require some extra awareness of how to act with others.  There aren’t enough examples here to make a generalization and certainly not all girls and women from divorce suffer from this issue.  But it would be wise to pay attention to the fact that a girl who has 2 mothers has twice the competition for the fathers attention. Parents going through divorce also tend to go through a second adolescence so the children may not receive parenting at this time.  their parents may think of themselves more as friends than as parents.  this can seem positive in that the child isnt stuck with an uptight or boring parent.  Most people know that there can be an unhealthy cost to pay for the child.  The girl might work out that she can’t hold herself back in social situations be ause she has seen her parent in similar situations but with experience and adult level hormones.
All 3 girls were drunk to the point of being unconscious and then were taken advantage of.  The rest of the community seem to comment mostly on how alcohol shouldn’t be served at parties.  The california media commented more on how the girl suffered from the cyber bullying than from the rape.  In reality, bullying of rape victims is quite common whether the Internet is involved or not.  
Divorce itself is not always considered the most impressive background to come from by many people.  I can’t figure out the reason for the extra taunting except to say that there’s something wrong with the way most kids are raised these days.
Pease girls, take a self defense class.  Don’t drink yourself into a stupor at parties.  
May your Souls Rest In Peace.

California Statistics for lawyers and psychologists
April 26, 2013, 6:29 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

California is one of a handful of states in the U.S. which does not keep track of divorce statistics.  Am trying to figure out why. Divorce is so popular that members of the psych field will automatically say that divorce does not affect the children. They don’t rely on science in order to get that information. How could they? There isn’t any data. Call it opinion. Call it a belief system. What we can’t call it is science or medicine.

I went to the public library and with the help of a really cool reference librarian I came up with the following statistics which I think adequately shows why there is such a lack of advocacy for the welfare of children of divorce in the stAte. As they say, all the money goes to the lawyers.

According to the 2012 U.S.Census there are 38,041,430 people in california.

According to the California Board of Psychology there are 18,023 licensed psychologists. 1,687 of these are out of state and 108 are out of country. So, there are/were in 2012 16,336 licensed psychologists running doing the talkie talk.

There is one shrink for every 2,321 people roughly (I did the math by hand, so when I say roughly I really mean roughly)

I was surprised how few psychologists there are since about half of college students seem to be psychology majors and psychology is such a common subject of discussion.

I don’t think that children of divorce go into psychology very often so most of the psychologists who are here probably come from intact families and are not native Californians. That’s just a guess and observation on my part but would explain the lack of sympathy on the subject. One psychiatrist I talked to about my frustration about not being able to talk about my childhood said that she thought it wouldn’t be polite to ask a therapist if they were divorced or had grown up in divorce. Huge stigma blocking treatment.

On the other hand, California has gobs of lawyers. The Bureau of Labor Statistics says that about 1 in 300 people in California is a lawyer. Busy busy busy.

The American Bar Association counts 159,824 lawyers for last year, 2012. There are all types of law. Not all member of the bar association practice law. But still, that’s a lot of lawyers.

There are about 7 lawyers for every therapist.

About a quarter of the state’s therapists are in the Los Angeles area.

Most therapists are probably divorced themselves. That’s personal observation.

Since California is the most populated state and probably has the highest divorce rate I think this is sort of interesting. Mostly it’s really weird and somewhat pathetic.