Spoiled Children of Divorce


Let The Kids Decide…
July 24, 2018, 9:42 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Here’s a link to a Yahoo story about a man whose wife took off 15 years ago leaving him with 3 small children to raise. Two of the children are graduating from college. The Mother wants to show up for their graduation after all these years. This is a very common story and there are hundreds of responses in the comments section. Most responders say to let the kids decide whether Mom attends. I didn’t read through all the responses but was impressed by the fact that no child from a divorced family who has actually experienced what it feels like to be on the receiving end of this situation has chimed in. If they did they would probably be axed to death by the social media commenters. No one said anything like there is no easy answer here. How stressful for the kids to live with this. And children of divorce just want to enjoy life without this stuff constantly blowing up in their faces. This is 15 years down the line. Can’t the Mother just ask to go out with the kids and have coffee? Why does she have to show up for a major event?

Here’s an article from Psychology Today about parent-child reunification. The returning parent is called the Alienated Parent. It seems to center around parents who are just getting out of jail and trying to bond with their children. That’s a much different scenario.

Wonder if there is a forum online for adult children to get together and discuss how it feels and what happened. I remember a movie called The Hours where Meryl Streep plays a woman who left her family. It was a life or death decision. Again, the emphasis is on the parent’s feelings. For the kids it seems to be just a “damned if you do and damned if you don’t” type of situation.


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