Spoiled Children of Divorce


Sarah Colonna and Father’s Day Cards

Just heard comedian Sarah Colonna’s special called I Can’t Feel My Legs on Amazon Prime. Hope it’s ok to quote or paraphrase a part of her skit. I can’t write that fast and can’t read some of it. Awesome that the audience claps when she cracks a joke about having 2 dads. It might be safe to assume that she is a Child of Divorce but can’t say for sure. You don’t hear very many jokes about extended family stuff. A long time ago I was at a Comedy night and the comedian took a poll of the audience looking for Children of Divorce to see if it was worth it to crack Divorce jokes. He decided against. Only one girl raised her hand.

“I hate single grocery shopping because I’m not home a lot. I’m not in town a lot so I only buy a quick few things when I’m out at the grocery store.

I guess I need to make a list. Because if you make a list then you can look at what all your items altogether might look like to someone else when they’re in the basket.

Here’s an example. I was grocery shopping this (unknown word, can’t read my writing) in June which will make sense in a second. I was grocery shopping and had everything on the conveyor belt and there were two guys, early 30s and they were staring at me. ‘Oh here we go. Can’t even go to the grocery store anymore.’ I was bending over. Then I realize they’re not looking at me. They’re looking at the conveyor belt.

And that’s when I became painfully aware of what was on there. I had 2 bottles of vodka, you know, with the handle, the kind with the handle, tampons, skittles. I was hungry. And two Father’s Day cards (laughter & clapping). It’s like, O My God! Look at that girl with her period, her drinking problem, and all those Dads!!!”


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