Spoiled Children of Divorce


Exemplary Children of Divorce – Will Farrell

Comedian Will Farrell comes from divorce.  He doesn’t seem to mind.  His Wikipedia entry says that he was the type of kid who just said “Hurrah, I get to have two Christmases.”

So I wanted to take a look at his chart to see what would indicate why he doesn’t feel that his parents’ divorce drank him down the drain like some of us do.

For one, Farrell is an oldest child.  I think that oldest children do not feel the loss as much as younger children.  I have no proof for this.  I just seem to keep seeing that it crop up.  Oldest children are said to be more successful no matter what type of home they are coming from.  There might be a study out there that confirms this.  I think that a reason particular to divorce is that they don’t have the feeling of being completely abandoned when there is still a familiar household to come back to, such as both parent and sibling living together.  That might just be me dreaming again.

Farrell’s parents split when he was 8 years old.  By astrology cycle standards this would put him developmentally influenced by his first Saturn Square.  I’ve said before that the worst ages you can get a divorce at are when your children are 7-8 and 13-14 because this sets them in either a secondary progressed Lunar cycle or a Saturn Cycle.  Maybe I’ll have to modify that and just say that secondary progressed Lunar returns can be rougher than most.  During childhood they seem to come slightly earlier than the Saturn Cycle transits, but not always so it’s not always clear.

I have noticed that the kids whose parents divorce when they are Age 8 often have the discipline to achieve significant career gains, especially in the types of career which come early in life.  Early on they have to learn how to parent themselves.  Often they will cut themselves off emotionally and drive themselves to achieve in school and then fall apart later on, but with mentoring or other guidance they can often work through the problems.

Saturn is the planet associated with the Father, and Discipline and Ambition and difficult life lessons.  Career and Social Responsibility can also be connected with Saturn.  Saturn can have problems dealing with failure and can lapse into depression because of it, but is often connected with being determined to succeed.  Saturn likes to work, so will work through emotional struggles as well as everything else.  He likes feeling responsible.  Saturn is not often associated with natural talent for sports or for acting or comedy because it is cautious and not often not connected with being able to improvise, but I have noticed that athletes will often come from this age group, especially the ones who don’t work on teams.

That certainly doesn’t follow anything related with Will Farrell’s style as he is very talented at improv.  But, Saturn is connected with a style of humor in a dry, reserved kind of way and is connected with a good sense of rhythm.

The Gessell Institute studies showed that kids at Age 8 go through a positive and socially mature phase.  They are bright and interactive at this age.

Saturn in Farrell’s natal chart is placed in the sign of Aries.  It is not very happy in this sign as Aries is impulsive.  Farrell’s Saturn is also placed on the cusp of the 8th house which shows some kind of difficult secret concerning the Father, probably related to death or money or inheritance.  It is squaring natal Mercury in Cancer in the 10th house of career and Father.  Mercury is retrograde in Farrell’s chart.  This planet and Farrell’s Sun in later degrees of Cancer in H11 would have been activated around the time of the divorce.  Mercury represents communication and analytical thinking abilities.  So, perhaps as a child Farrell didn’t feel that he could express himself verbally but he learned a lot through these feelings of insecurity and subsequently developed a heightened talent/discipline for knowing just what to say and not to say in his acting.

Often Saturn shows us where our true lessons are in life and point us where our ability to succeed in the Real World lie.  This is all very strongly featured because Farrell’s Saturn is the handle planet of a bucket shaped chart.  All the rest of the planets in his chart are placed on the left side of the chart which means that Farrell feels that he is master of his own destiny.

Farrell was born in the late 1960s during a big conjunction of Uranus-Pluto and this conjunction connects with his Ascendant.  This is a generational aspect because these planets move so slowly and were hanging around together for a long time thus imprinting a lot of people.   In conjunction with the Ascendant this describes Farrell’s physical appearance and personality.  Pluto will show some sort of self control and ability to confront difficult topics.  Uranus represents shock and surprise and light heartedness.  Both planets are associated with crisis, so one can see the connection to comedy in a way.  I’ve said before that these planets are the major rulers of divorce and this conjunction was the major reason for the big divorce boom in the 70s.  So, having this conjunction on one’s Ascendant would indicate that one could become the poster child for divorce of that time period.

Unlike what Farrell’s chart shows, People who have planets mostly placed on the right side of the wheel will naturally feel strongly influenced by other people and situations in life.  This might show a problem for children in divorce because their parents won’t just be there in the background for them throughout life.

Also, one wants to notice in a chart if most of the planets are placed above the horizon or below it.  It is said that people with planets mostly below are more introverted and don’t rise above the problems presented to them in childhood.  This might be true in the U.S. where extroversion is a strong indicator for success.  In either event, I have noticed that successful children of divorce often have an empty 4th house.  This is the house associated with the bottom of the chart which represents infancy and homelife and nurturing.  If this house contains a lot of planets the person will automatically identify with history and childhood and deep feelings like blood ties and family — all the types of things that disappear after divorce.  For these types I imagine that the divorce will present more loss.

One also wants to look at the signs that are on the cusps of the 4th and 10th Houses to see how he/she views his parents’ parenting styles.  Farrell has the signs of Gemini and Sagittarius on his IC and MC axis.  Farrell sees them already as being changeable and maybe a source of his humor and intellect, and, anxiety.  He’s not burdened by a sense of overwhelming responsibility over how they conducted their lives.  Dealing with his family is maybe sort of a game.  Maybe he feels more at home with neighbors and people from other cultures.



Bad Children of Divorce – Anders Behring Breivik

On July 22 Norway was attacked by one of its own citizens, a 32-year old man named Anders Behring Breivik. Sad to say, that Anders Behring Breivik is a Child of Divorce.

Breivik’s parents divorced when he was 1 year old (source: Wikipedia). According to my Astrological Study this means that Breivik would have been influenced by and perhaps stuck in the energy of his first Solar Return. In his case this is particularly so because the other two planetary returns that occur around this time, Mercury and Venus, happened early in Breivik’s life, before his first Birthday. The Sun represents the Ego, Creativity, Children, Drama, Wanting to be in the limelight and in a leadership role. There is a 33 year cycle related to Solar Return charts in which the Sun returns to the native’s original house in his birth chart. I don’t have a birth time for Breivik so can’t say which house that would be but I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the 12th House because this guy is going to start out his new Solar Return cycle in jail.

I wrote about a similar set-up of planetary cycles in celebrity charts of actors Marilyn Monroe and Andy Griffith. I talked about how, among the many differences between these two people, it is remarkable that they both became famous actors. Sun is related to wanting to be in the limelight. When Mercury and Venus both complete their first returns before the solar Return a child is blessed with early understandings of what both of those planets represent. I’ve talked about this a lot in the earlier posts. In short form, Mercury possibly represents communications and brain development of fine motor skills. Venus represents attachments to objects and people and development of memory and self worth through those attachments. The difference between how Marilyn Monroe and Andy Griffith handled their fame is, I subjecture, that Monroe suffered through her parents’ divorce during those years. Griffith also had a very difficult childhood and literally slept in a chest of drawers with relatives, but his parents stayed together and eventually provided him with a stable childhood. So, one can perhaps wonder if a child going through such fast transits in the first year is perhaps not more aware than other babies of what is going on. Mercury is directly related to the the nervous system and anxiety and Venus is related, as I said, to feeling loveable and feeling that one can love others.

Breivik has about 6 half or step siblings (check). I don’t have information about his biological parents’ remarriages/relationships but that will perhaps come out in time.

It appears that Breivik’s relationships with both parents are exceptional. He lived with his Mother up until a few months ago. Perhaps that’s not abnormal in Norway but in the U.S. it’s weird.

Breivik’s Father has had nothing to do with him since he moved to France in 1995 when Breivik was 16 years old. One can perhaps assume that the relationship with Breivik’s Mother became extremely dependent because his relationship with his Father involved the extreme rejection which is common among Children of Divorce. In Astrology, the 10th House, Saturn and Capricorn rule the Father and how one handles authoritarian figures. When an individual does not receive Paternal Attention, whether from a parent or someone else, one can possibly take out one’s anger on the Government which holds the parallel role in society that the traditional Fatherly role holds within the family.

Breivik is an Aquarius Sun and Aquarius is the sign most known for rebellion against these traditional roles. Aquarius has a natural sense of society as a whole and often doesn’t have easy access to expression of simple feelings of the earlier signs. Often, but not always of course, they are the kids who pass through the divorce without seeming to have any needs. I’ve discussed how I think that Aquarius is the sign probably most connected with Divorce. And Children of Divorce might be ruled by the sign of Virgo as Virgo is practical and service oriented and opposite Pisces, the ruler of Orphans, the sign which most kids of divorce get lumped in with (erroneously).

Without a birth time we can’t place the position of Breivik’s natal Moon (either in Leo or Virgo), but the noontime chart shows a conjunction with natal Saturn Retrograde in Virgo. Moon shows the family influence and the Mother so this is an important element. Either way, Breivik would have been born just after a Full Moon. If he has a Leo Sun this emphasizes his need to be in the spotlight and to lead in some way. If the Moon is in Virgo and in conjunction with Saturn Rx in Virgo, this combination with the Aquarius Sun shows emotional coldness. It also shows that the traditional parental roles were mixed up and not clearly viewed as separate influences. Unfortunately, I’ve sort of stopped work on my research of charts of famous Children of divorce because of computer hacking and theft of a lot of my papers and depression which came after all that happened. I do remember that the one signature which stood out for planetary placements in the charts that I looked at was the absence of Saturn in Virgo children from Divorce who become famous. All the other planetary placements by sign were represented in the 135 or so charts that I looked at except Saturn in Virgo. The insecurities of this placement seemed to really stand out as a signature for lack of self esteem. This would be especially difficult in a child who is stuck in a Sun aspect which needs to stand out in some way in order to shine. This is especially important to look at right now as Saturn just passed through that sign and many young children have it in their charts.

Progressed Moon generally has its first return at Age 27-28 and transiting Saturn has its first return at around Age 28-29.

The Progressed Lunar Return can be best used as a time of internal reflection in which one focuses on one’s emotional needs as a basis for going forth in life as an adult. One can feel like a loser or feel picked on in this phase, especially if life so far has been full of setbacks and unsafe relationships. The Moon relates to the Mother and the home life. After the individual goes through this internal phase, he then completes a cyclic phase which expresses to the external social world through the Saturn Return.

Breivik’s Father, an economist of some sort, says that he wishes his son had committed suicide because of what he had done. Thanks Dad. (I guess he’s describing the bottom line here on an investment he rejected long ago.)

It would be great if the Father had instead said “I wish that I had been a decent Father for my son so that this wouldn’t have happened,” but, of course, we’re all dreaming when we wish for comments like those to come out of the mouths of narcissistic parents. How many kids’ hearts could at least find peace if only their parents would admit that they had not provided the proper childhood? Maybe just one, well-timed, sincere assessment, clearly stated “I’m sorry and I want to try harder in the future.” Instead, the Father here, in my view, has affirmed that he is a total a-hole and will remain so until the day he dies.

Here’s an excerpt from the article:

Meanwhile, in an interview with Swedish tabloid Expressen, the suspect’s father said he was ashamed and disgusted by his son’s acts and wished he had committed suicide.

“I don’t feel like his father,” said former diplomat Jens David Breivik from his secluded home in southern France. “How could he just stand there and kill so many innocent people and just seem to think that what he did was OK? He should have taken his own life too. That’s what he should have done.”

Breivik said he first learned the news of his son’s attacks from media websites. “I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was totally paralyzing and I couldn’t really understand it.”

“I will have to live with this shame for the rest of my life. People will always link me with him,” he said.

Jens David Breivik said he had severed all contact with his son in 1995 when the latter was 16.

It’s very clear to me what the problem with Dad is here, but I know that many parents and people from intact families will remain flummoxed for years to come. The Father’s attitude couldn’t be more of a negative Saturnian comment, at any rate. Judgement, Blame, Coldness, Harsh Lessons, Conditional Love, Intolerance, Guilt. At least the Father is now eternally released from having to mention his first born son in his will and I suspect that’s all that counts to this guy.

Apparently, son Anders Breivik sees himself as having defended the country. His motive was to kill the Prime Minister of Norway and the youths who are learning to follow his liberal doctrines which include embracing immigration of Muslims into Norwegian society.

I believe that Norway was having a National Holiday on July 22, so the Prime Minister was working from home instead of coming into the office. So he survived the bombing of his offices and the surrounding areas. Breivik then attacked a political youth camp for kids who belong to the Prime Minister’s party. I’m too American to think that kids could learn to be liberal politicians at a youth camp, I’m just more into Arts and Crafts and the word “camp” brings up negative imagery especially when related to Politics and Religion. But I certainly don’t want to be seen as taking sides with Breivik. And, I also think that Summer Camp is a great way for kids from Divorce to get away from their parents.

I’ve discussed in previous posts how the men who started the “Minutemen” group on the Southwest Borders of the United States grew up in divorce and that I figured that this is somehow an expression of wanting to fix what was broken in childhood. It would make sense if Children of Divorce are much more likely to want to defend their country than kids from stable, intact homes. It is extremely difficult to listen to the chronic complaining and neediness of the immigrants when one’s own life if pretty difficult, especially with the new immigrants who are not particularly talented or special or in need of help.

Hope to look at the early planetary cycles in Breivik’s chart at the time of his parents’ divorce to see if it somehow plays out in his later life. Venus was moving very fast during his first year. Rejection would hurt a Venusian more than anyone except maybe a Lunar type. And a baby is pretty much nothing but a bunch of lunar types until the end of his first year when he completes the Solar, Mercurial and Venusian cycles. It is interesting that Brevick’s Father rejected him when he was 16 years old as that is a Sun-Venus cycle in some people’s charts. It is also half the age that Anders is now. Venus rules the signs of Taurus and Libra. In the sign of Taurus is rules Money, Voice, and Self Worth. In Libra it rules Marriage, one on one partnerships, Open Enemies, and need for Balance and Harmony.

Sun-Mercury-Mars in Aquarius squaring Uranus in Scorpio and trining Pluto in Libra and sextiling Neptune in Sagittarius
Neptune in Sagittarius squaring Virgo/Pisces NN’s
Venus in Capricorn trining Saturn in Virgo, maybe Moon in Virgo
Jupiter unaspected 1 Leo (to major planets), Lead Planet in Locomotive Chart Shape
Grand Earth Trine: Venus in Capricorn trine Saturn/MOon? in Virgo trine Chiron (Dick Cheney is Aquarius with Grand Earth Trine)



“Safari” by Jennifer Egan

Heard a partial short story reading on NPR while driving tonight.  “Safari” by Jennifer Egan.  As happens while driving the car I usually haven’t got a clue what I’m listening to and for some reason it’s always really interesting that way.  Egan was interviewed after the reading and explained parts of the story which have to do with “unstable family situations.”  She discussed her own childhood and her parents’ divorce.  So I had to come home to see if the story is available on the Internet.  Turns out there’s an editor at The New Yorker who doesn’t mind publishing stories about Children of Divorce:

Safari.

The story is about a “family” going on a Safari vacation together for three weeks.  Dad is twice divorced and has brought along his new girlfriend.  Two of his children are there.   All the characters are weaving in and out of understanding of what their relationships with each other are.  The story is told from the fractured points of view of each character and with a fractured sense of timing, a sort of whirlwind of who, what, when, why where, which expresses the unstable situation.  Relationships, Sex, self understanding, grief, boredom are all told by characters at completely different places in their lives and without any cohesive tribal understanding of the events.  In the background, meanwhile, there is the structured scheduling of the trip and on another level the lives of each character past, present and future is told with a sort of innocent but frightening frankness.   I think that this is sort of the attitude that Children of Divorce take on in life in order to try to make sense of it all.  There was no sense of emotion, the characters continue with their lives trying to follow along the way they have followed the scheduling of this trip.  Event after event is told with a sort of inability to really feel what is going on.  In the end there is this matter of factness about how life unfolds along with a great sense of emotional loss.  (Sorry went on a little too long here, but I really liked the story)

Jennifer Egan’s parents divorced when she was around 2 years old.  Her Father was an alcoholic who rehabed in his 40s.  She was her parents’ only child together and was the oldest in her new family that her Mother created with her Step Father.  Egan was born in the Midwest.  Moved to San Francisco when she was 7 years old.  She is married and I believe has two sons and lives on the East Coast.  I can’t vouch for the accuracy of any of these details.



Exemplary Children of Divorce – Arthur and Irving Penn
October 2, 2010, 6:22 am
Filed under: Birth Order, creativity, Exemplary Children of Divorce, Uncategorized

This is a double whammy.  The Theater and Movie Director of the classic Bonnie and Clyde, Arthur Penn was a Child of Divorce.  He passed away this week and NPR’s Fresh Air show replayed an interview he did with Terri Gross where he discusses how his parents’ divorce affected him.   I love Terri Gross’ interviews but find it amazing how she let the ball drop when Penn was talking about the effect his parents’ divorce had on him.  I can never get used to this.  Penn literally paused and took a breath after mentioning the divorce.  It was clear that he would have liked to have discussed it but Gross didn’t respond at all and quickly moved on to another subject.  I’m pretty sure that if he had mentioned poverty, immigration, being a minority, being abused, or death, Gross would have probed further.

Arthur Penn passed away on September 28, 2010 at the age of 88.  It appears that he married once and had two children.

Interview.

Article discusses Penn’s childhood.  Interesting the comments on shattered self identity which is at the center of the Joyce Carol Oates story I posted on last week.

Born in Philadelphia in 1922, Penn grew up during the Depression, spending his childhood divided between the city of his birth and, after his parents’ divorce in 1925, New York. The dislocation of Penn’s home life, coupled with the stigma of being a child of divorce, would have a profound and lasting effect on his psychological and emotional development. Moving among comedy, tragedy, realism, and absurdity (sometimes within the same story), his films address the traumas of childhood and adolescence through characters whose lack of self-evident identity is circumscribed by the impersonal social forces governing their lives.

Penn’s parents divorced in 1925 when Penn would have been about 3 years old.  He moved from Pennsylvania to New York with his Mother.  And then he moved back in with his Father and older brother, Irving, when he was around 11 or 12 years old.  Arthur’s older brother, Irving Penn, was the famous fashion photographer.  He was about 5 years older than Arthur so would have been around 8 years old when their parents divorce.  Irving lived with their Father so the sons had a separate childhood until Arthur moved back in with them.

Irving Penn was married once and had one child.

Here’s a link to his photographs as listed on Google.  Feast your eyes.

(Had to check.  I don’t believe that either Bonnie or Clyde was a Child of Divorce.  Whew, that’s a load off).



How Far Away From Mommy Will You Ever Really Move?
August 19, 2010, 9:12 pm
Filed under: Birth Order, Leaving the "Nest", relationship with Mother

On another website a poster from Germany started a thread asking if American children tend to move out of their parents’ house at a younger age than European children and kids from other countries.  Probably the answer is yes.  There were quite a few stories of kids leaving a house to get away from a step-parent but there were just as many other stories of kids who needed to get out within weeks of turning 18.

Someone added a link to this article.  Researchers Robert A. Pollack, Ph.D and Janice Compton did a study for the University of Michigan Retirement Research Center and found some interesting results about how the majority of kids stay within proximity of their Mothers after the age of 25.  They studied the issue from many points of view.  Birth Order has no impact except that only children tend to stay around their Mothers.  Gender has no impact except that unmarried men are more likely to live with their Mothers than unmarried Women (20 percent).  Also, if you go to College you are less likely to live close to your Mother.  There were other results regarding race and ethnicity and marriage listed as well.  Lots of people don’t cut these strings.

I guess I will add this:  there was no mention of what children from Divorce do or don’t do.  They do a comparison study to see how much kids from divorce worry about their Divorced Mothers as compared with worrying about their Intact Mothers.  Maybe Elizabeth Marquardt has some information about this.  I remember that she did manage to ask some related questions.



Good Advice

Was stunned to actually read a column in this morning’s newspaper concerning divorce.  A guy writes an advice column called “Male Call.” Today’s article is titled “Beware if he’s just not that into your kid.”  The answer is right on and it’s even humorous.  A woman, turning 30 and obviously desperate, writes in that she’s in a relationship with a guy who really wants kids, but when she watches him with her son from a previous marriage she observes that they don’t seem to get along.  “Male Call” warns her about how if she marries this guy and has kids that her kids will live in the “two tiered” household where the son from the previous relationship will always feel left out.  “Say you do choose to procreate with this fellow.  Will it end up being a two-tiered family?  As in, your child is merely tolerated, but the new ones are the ‘real’ family?  That’s an excellent recipe for ‘acting out’ on the part of your child, also known as ‘Cage Match With Step-dad’ after he/she reaches puberty.

It’s interesting how the sexes understand different parts of parenting.  To hand it to this mother, she is asking.  A Father would never ask for the advice in the first place.  He would just marry a woman and figure that she and the kids can sort it out on their own.  You notice that step-mothers never mention anything about their husbands as being part of the problem.  Everything is blamed on the kid and the ex-wife.  (That’s because of money, of course).  But concerning the advice for understanding the actual problem I think I might recommend deferring to the guys.  They aren’t afraid to look into the future and see an unsolvable problem.

From the last paragraph in this column is:  “So we’re not really sure there is a way to ‘ease the transition’ for the boyfriend.  He either gets along with your kid, or he doesn’t.  And if he doesn’t maybe you should give this a little more time before deciding to have another child.”  How nice to be asking this question before taking more big leaps in the relationship.  How nice to wait and see and give it more time.

Of course, with women, I think there is an added power control issue within a relationship.  If she rushes in and adds a child of her own to the mix then she has a lot more control in all the relationships.

I remember going to a sort of Lilith fest for writers in the San Francisco Bay area one year.  Not that I’m a writer but at that point I really wanted to be.  The key speaker was a remarkably witty, funny person and she made a point out of pointing out that her half brother or sister (can’t remember which) simply never got over her Mother being in their lives.  She, of course, was the Golden Girl who grew up with her own Mother and her own Father and her own House. And these others were just visitors who made everyone grumpy.  And, as an adult, still, she is still defensive about how must easier she had it than her siblings with that good old “Oh come on, can’t we just get along?”

Kind of funny how a writer who writes mostly about family issues just doesn’t want to discuss a problem that anyone else in her family is having.

Anyway, Mr. Male Call, hope you aren’t offended that I’ve linked to you from my hostile blog about the unsolved problems of the world.  I hope you get syndicated.  Thanks for the humor, too.  I strongly urge everyone entering into a step- situation to take martial arts classes too.



Exemplary Children of Divorce – Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

First Lady of the United States, Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis was a Child of Divorce.  Her biography is on Wikipedia and here.  Her Father was a Stockbroker who had many affairs and her parents split when Jacqueline was 10 years old.  Jacqueline had one younger sister, Lee, with whom she had both a very close relationship and intense rivalry.  The sisters lived with both parents.   The Mother remarried to an heir to the Standard Oil fortune two years later and had two more children who became Jacqui’s half sister and half brother.

The link given above says this about how the Divorce possibly affected Jackie:

Her parents’ angry quarrels developed Jacqueline’s ability to tune out unpleasant things—a skill she would employ in her own marriages—and her penchant to escape into literature, art, fantasy, and horses. Her parents’ divorce left her with deep insecurities and a gnawing emptiness that haunted her, fueling her needs to purchase extravagantly and to marry men of wealth.

Jacqueline Bouvier graduated college and then met John Kennedy in 1951 or 52.  They married a year and half later.  The couple had a miscarriage and a still-birth before daughter Caroline and son John were born in 1957 and 1960.  Another son was born in 1963 but unfortunately died a couple of days later.

Jacqueline Kennedy became the First Lady of the United States  in 1961 when her Husband took office.  She was a great Hostess and was very popular.

President Kennedy was tragically assassinated on Nov. 22, 1964 in Texas.

Jackie remarried to Greek  Shipping tycoon Aristotle Onassis in October, 1968.  The couple eventually separated but never divorced.  Onassis died in 1975.

Jackie went on to have a successful publishing career.  She found a solid relationship after the age of 50.

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis passed away on May 19, 1994 from Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.