Spoiled Children of Divorce


Exemplary Children of Divorce – Raymond Chandler

Raymond Chandler is a 20th Century detective novel writer written in a “hard-boiled style.” Some of the titles were The Big Sleep, Farewell My Lovely, and The Long Good-Bye. One might expect that a writer would discuss his childhood a bit but in the book Raymond Chandler Speaking (Gardner and Walker, p.20) he gives two liners to each parent.

His father: “My father was a graduate of Penn, a civil engineer. Divorced when I was seven…Never saw my father again.”

His Mother: “My Mother soon after returned to England to live with her mother and manage the house, and of course I went with her.”

Chandler grew up in Chicago until he was 7 years old. His Father worked for the railroads and was drunk most of the time. Chandler wrote that he was “found drunk if he was found at all.” (Hiney, Tom. Raymond Chandler: A Biography, p. 4).

Chandler’s Mother was born in Ireland and they moved to Ireland to live with family after his Father disappeared for the last time. They had lost their house and were living in a hotel where the boy caught Scarlett Fever. Chandler’s Mother never talked about his Father again.

Chandler said that he had wished his Mother had remarried in London. “I know that my mother had affairs — she wa a very beautiful woman– and the only thing that I felt to be wrong was that she refused to marry again for fear a step-father would not treat me kindly, since my father was such a swine.” (Honey, Tom. Raymond Chandler: A Biography, p. 10)

Chandler had generous relatives and grew up in Britain. He and his Mother returned to the United States. He worked at several professions, getting fired for drinking himself. He didn’t write his first story until 1933 at Age 45. His first novel, The Big Sleep, was published when he was 51.

Chandler fell in love with the step-mother of a friend who was 18 years his senior. His Mother forbade the relationship so Chandler didn’t marry Cissy until after her death. When his wife died in 1954 Chandler attempted suicide.

Chandler died in 1959 of pneumonia which was brought on by alcoholism.



Were Early Filmmakers Children of Divorce?
August 1, 2013, 1:33 am
Filed under: Astrology stuff, creativity

It seems that many filmmakers are Children of Divorce. I’ve discussed a couple such as Stephen Spielberg who wrote ET as a way of trying to understand growing up in divorce.

Today I wondered if the early filmmakers, the ones who invented the industry seemingly from out of the blue, innovators, were from divorce. I read Charlie Chaplins autobiography a long time ago and remembered his difficult childhood.

So, here is what I found. I apologize because I skipped a couple of names because they belonged to kids from normal families. Many suffered death of a parent, poverty and then emigrated.

I found all these names from Wikipedia.

Mack Sennett. Not from divorce.

George’s melies. Normal family?

Eadweard Muybridge. Father died 1843, age 13.

Oscar micheaux. Normal family.

Auguste and Louis Lumiere. Normal family.

D.W.Griffith. Father died age 10.

Abel Gance. Illegitimate.

Cecil b. DeMille. Father died 1893 when DeMille was 12.

Orson Welles. Parents separated when Welles was 6. I had to see if Welles was later diagnosed as bipolar as this is the age between the first Jupiter opposition and secondary progressed lunar square (moods wings). He was!

Charlie Chaplin. Parents separated when Chaplin was around 1 or 2.



Brain on Fire – Susannah Cahalan
In her recently released book Brain on Fire, Susannah Callahan describes her battle with a rarely diagnosed autoimmune illness which attacked her brain.  I heard an interview with her on NPR’s radio program Fresh Air.
Callahan became very sick very quickly in February 2009 when she was 24 years old.  At first she figured she was suffering from the stress of her new job as a reporter at The New York Post but as her symptoms became worse she went through diagnosis after diagnosis and eventually chewed up 1 million dollars worth of scans and tests. A doctor could correctly figure out her illness by the simple test of  having her draw a picture of the face of a clock.
Calahan had been living with a boyfriend for 6 months.  Her parents were divorced and she had become estranged from her father after the divorce.  Both parents sound like they were great caretakers and cooperated with each other throughout the long month when Susannah was in the hospital.  Much of this time she doesn’t remember.
Callahan also describes how her relationships changed throughout her illness.  I suspect that this is probably more important for Children of Divorce because we often can’t expect our parents to help because they don’t have the support of a family unit, or can’t stand being around the other parent which causes even more stress.  Then again, each case is different and parents are hopefully more savvy now than they used to be.
 Just before her hospitalization Susannah had moved back in with her Mother and her Mother’s husband/boyfriend.  The night before the hospitalization she spent with her Father and his Wife/Girlfriend.  Since both parents had significant others for support this might actually be an improved circumstance as there were 4 adults doing the caretaking.  (Also, sorry, but I seem to have forgotten the exact relationship that the parents had with their significant others.)
From a Child of D standpoint there’s an interesting comment about how during this night with Father and Stepmother Susannah hallucinates that her Stepmother is complaining about how spoiled she is.  Since I named this blog after a woman who had said that kids from divorce are disgusting because we are all spoiled I like that little quirk in Cahalan’s mind, in particular.  In the Fresh Air interview Susannah says that she figures that most people at the early part of her illness figured that she was just acting arrogant because she was a spoiled rich kid (didn’t mention divorce).  The interviewees of one her interviews with the Post ended the interview because they thought she was drunk.  The first therapist declared that she simply needed to stop drinking, something which she says she doesn’t normally do.  One can see how many extra prejudices a Child from Divorce has to deal with in trying to get diagnosed with a mental or, in this case, neurological, disorder.  Many divorced parents are probably very quick to have their children institutionalized.  I just remember the coworker of an old friend of mine whose Mother had had him put into a mental hospital so she could go to Medical School.  These things do happen.
Susannah develops a new wonderful bond with her father where previously they had been estranged.  He keeps a detailed diary of her illness which is a great resource for her book.
Cahalan had to write the book about herself from the point of view of a journalist, piecing together what everyone else said had happened because she doesn’t remember much of it.
The astrology is possibly unbelievably interesting.  I don’t have Cahalan’s birth info so this is all probably really stupid to mention.  I’m mentioning it anyway because there is possibly a really incredible connection between planetary cycles which hook the divorce with the illness.  Cahalan keeps describing her illness and recovery in terms of divorce and marriage in many ways and that so hooks into one of the significant planetary cycles that she may have been going through.
Cahalan was 24 during the time of her illness.  This hooks her into 2 possible planetary cycles.
The first would be her second Jupiter Return which occurs roughly Age 23-24.  The first Jupiter Return would have occurred when she was roughly 11-12.  Since Jupiter is connected with publishing and writing and getting lucky it makes sense that this cycle would find her gainly employed at a new stressful job with a newspaper.  Her Jupiter is possibly in Gemini which makes this even more sense as Gemini also rules writing and communication.  Gemini is connected with the nerves in the body so, if this is Susannah’s placement it would show some sort of overwhelming load on her nerves.  Jupiter rules the liver and the hips.  So, it actually is pretty interesting that the initial reactions to her behavior were to assume that she was drunk — the liver is heavily affected by alcohol.
Another cycle which I’m particularly interesting in is the 8-year Sun-Venus Rx cycle.  This is one of the most precise cycles in the planets and was used by the Mayans for measuring time.  The Sun is in conjunction with Venus Retrograde every 8 years.  Within this period there are 5 Sun-Venus Rx conjunctions which occur very close to the same degrees of the Zodiac.
In her book, Susannah says that her parents divorce had occurred 8 years previously which is why I can’t control myself here. Venus, through the sign of Libra, rules Marriage and one on one relationships.
A person whose natal chart is affected in some way by this conjunction would receive a lot of attention from these 2 planets and things that they rule during his/her lifetime.  That can be a very good thing for anything connected with social life or the arts, and can bring issues involving relationships.  Age 16 is considered the Sweet 16 party for girls so is very much connected with the Sun-VenusRx cycle.  (The part where kids start to drive, which is Mars and Mercury is maybe not such a great idea at this age.)
The person would internalize events that occur at this age very strongly and would act out on them through life and would possibly connect with an 8 year cycle through out their lives.
(I did find a birth date for Cahalan that doesn’t have a Sun-Venus Rx conjunction but still receives significant hits and I have no idea if it is a correct date.  My research is saying that divorce possibly will hook kids into these cycles and provide extra information to use for interpretation beyond the natal chart.)
Venus goes Retrograde about once a year and is never farther than 2 signs away from the Sun.  The Retrograde transit is an illusion which is seen from the earth because Venus spins around the Sun and not around the Earth.   Because of the elliptical orbits, Venus appears to stay at a standstill and to move backward in the sky during the Retrograde periods.
And Venus during the 8-year cycles that Susannah Cahalan may be hooked into is in the sign of Aries.  Aries is ruled by Mars and Mars rules the Head and Inflammation in the chart because it is a fiery planet.  It also rules Male energy and is a symbol for the Fighter and Warrior in people.
Venus is said to rule two signs.  She always is said to rule Female Energy.  The first is Taurus which rules the neck and lower part of the head, possibly the brain stem.  The second sign Venus rules is Libra which rules the Kidneys.  Venus is very strongly connected with the 8th cranial nerve because she rules the voice, hearing to some extent, Harmony, and sense of balance.  Venus, of course, is the ruler of marriage and relationships and connected with the Sun (vitality, creativity, ego expression) is very connected with social life.
Mercury and Uranus would also be interesting to look at in Susannah’s chart as they rule the nerves.  Mercury rules nerves themselves and the hands and communication skills.  Uranus rules any circulatory system and in particular the electrical system in a person.  Anything that happens suddenly is ruled by Uranus.
I’m not sure what rules rare diseases or autoimmune disorders.  I suspect that the sign of Libra is connected just because AIDS occurred during a transit of Pluto passing through Libra.  Libra is the female end of relationships which has to learn to set boundaries. Mars is impulsive and sort of thoughtless and reckless and has to learn Venusian traits.
Neptune often indicates an illness which is difficult to diagnose or treat.  Uranus and probably Jupiter generally can rule situations in which truth and enlightenment  come about so I would assume that this planet figures strongly in Susannah’s chart as she was lucky enough to receive a diagnosis and treatment.
Autoimmune encephalitis inflammation of brain
Here are dates of the Venus Rx’s and conjunctions with the Sun on 8 year cycles.  Again, I have no idea if this has anything to do with Cahalan’s chart.  Hopefully she’ll soon write more books and her birth date will be available because I’m dying of curiosity.
1985
  Venus Rx mar. 14, 1985 23 Aries
  Venus sd apr. 25, 1985 7 Aries
  Sun con. Venus Rx apr. 4, 1985. 4 Aries
Parents divorce Age 16?
  Venus Rx mar. 9, 2001. Venus 18 Aries
  Venus sd April, 20, 2001. 2 Aries
  Sun con. Venus Rx. Mar.30, 2001 10 Aries
Illness onset February, 2009, hospital march, 2009  Feb. 17?
  Sun con. Venus Rx march, 28, 2009. 8 Aries
  Venus Rx mar. 7, 2009 16 Aries
  Venus sd April. 18, 2009. 30 Pisces
Imagines stepmother telling father she’s a spoiled brat. Chapter called Buddha
Oldest daughter
Couldn’t remember metropolian museum visit Madame x postcard, Feb 17, 2009


Lisa Marie Presley Talks About Her Parents’ Divorce

Yay for today’s USA Weekend Magazine issue (Aug. 10-12-2012)!  In an article meant to salute the 35th Anniversary of her Father’s death, the magazine interviewed his only child.  Author Alanna Nash asked the Divorce question!

From page 10:

Her childhood after her parents divorced:  “In Memphis, my father let me run wild.  I’d be up all hours of the night and eat french fries and chocolate cake fro breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Then I’d go home to Beverly Hills to a very regimented mother and have a normal schedule.  It was very confusing.”

Lisa Marie was born in 1968.  Her parents divorced in 1972 so she would have been around 4 years old at the time.  Her Father died from his drug addiction in 1977 when he was 42 years old.  Lisa Marie would have been 9 years old.  It looks like the Nodal Axis and the Asteroids would be a big trigger and influence in her life cycles.  Natal North Node is in Aries squaring natal Venus in Capricorn.

Lisa Marie has been married four times and has two children from her first husband and twins from her fourth and current husband.  She remains close with her first husband who lives in the guest house of her home and home schools their children.



“Being Flynn”

A couple of months ago I saw a really incredible but disturbing movie called Being Flynn.  It’s based on the real life story of a son who works in a homeless shelter and reconnects with his Father who comes in for help.  Robert DeNiro plays the Father and Julianne Moore plays the Mother.  Paul Dano plays the son.   Don’t know what he looks like in other roles but here he actually looks like someone who comes from divorce.  His posture, his attitude.  I stated before that I think that people from divorce generally have much different personalities from people who aren’t from divorce but never really thought that I attribute a certain type of physical look.

The original book on which the movie based is written by Nick Flynn and was originally titled Another Bullshit Night in Suck City.  Sorry, I’m very behind on my reading.  Flynn’s Mother committed suicide so his early life was extremely difficult.  Did I find his birth date?  Probably.  The astrology will be pretty interesting, if not beyond understanding.

Interesting website for the movie here.  Although this is a great movie I don’t recommend seeing it if you’re going through a difficult phase and especially if you’ve ever had to deal with suicide or homelessness or have known anyone who has.

Oh yeah, although I haven’t finished it, I really like the style of Flynn’s writing.



Poem in Your Pocket Day – Pat Schneider
April 23, 2012, 12:12 am
Filed under: creativity, Mentors, poverty

While driving through a town on the California coast I stopped off at the local library to use the Internet. The library had put together an incredible display for Poem in Your Pocket Day at Poet’s.org. The librarians had printed out a bunch of poems, rolled them up with rubber bands and set up a sign instructing people to put the poem in their pockets.  On April 26 we’re supposed to share our poems with other people.

Following is the one I received. I had never heard of the poet before and really love this one.

The Patience of Ordinary Things

By Pat Schneider

It is a kind of love, is it not?
How the cup holds the tea,
How the chair stands sturdy and foursquare,
How the floor receives the bottoms of shoes
Or toes.  How the soles of feet know
Where they’re supposed to be.
I’ve been thinking about the patience
Of ordinary things, how clothes
Wait respectfully in closets
And soak dries quietly in the dish,
And towels drink the wet
From the skin of the back.
And the lovely repetition of stairs.
And what is more generous than a window?

From Another River:  New and Selected Poems. 2005

Pat Schneider is a writer and teacher of writing who goes out of her way to help people living in poverty remain connected with their souls. She has held a workshop with single mothers who are living at homeless shelters and in jails.  She has written a book called Writing Alone With Others.

I’m not sure if Pat Schneider’s parents were ever married.  Her website talks about how she spent her early childhood in the country and moved with her Mother to the city when she was around ten years old.  Her family was destitute and she eventually ended up in an orphanage.  In spite of this story she managed to obtain a Master’s Degree and has raised a family, write and teach.

www.patschneider.com

More of Pat’s poems are linked to here.

Great inspiration.



Exemplary Children of Divorce – Will Farrell

Comedian Will Farrell comes from divorce.  He doesn’t seem to mind.  His Wikipedia entry says that he was the type of kid who just said “Hurrah, I get to have two Christmases.”

So I wanted to take a look at his chart to see what would indicate why he doesn’t feel that his parents’ divorce drank him down the drain like some of us do.

For one, Farrell is an oldest child.  I think that oldest children do not feel the loss as much as younger children.  I have no proof for this.  I just seem to keep seeing that it crop up.  Oldest children are said to be more successful no matter what type of home they are coming from.  There might be a study out there that confirms this.  I think that a reason particular to divorce is that they don’t have the feeling of being completely abandoned when there is still a familiar household to come back to, such as both parent and sibling living together.  That might just be me dreaming again.

Farrell’s parents split when he was 8 years old.  By astrology cycle standards this would put him developmentally influenced by his first Saturn Square.  I’ve said before that the worst ages you can get a divorce at are when your children are 7-8 and 13-14 because this sets them in either a secondary progressed Lunar cycle or a Saturn Cycle.  Maybe I’ll have to modify that and just say that secondary progressed Lunar returns can be rougher than most.  During childhood they seem to come slightly earlier than the Saturn Cycle transits, but not always so it’s not always clear.

I have noticed that the kids whose parents divorce when they are Age 8 often have the discipline to achieve significant career gains, especially in the types of career which come early in life.  Early on they have to learn how to parent themselves.  Often they will cut themselves off emotionally and drive themselves to achieve in school and then fall apart later on, but with mentoring or other guidance they can often work through the problems.

Saturn is the planet associated with the Father, and Discipline and Ambition and difficult life lessons.  Career and Social Responsibility can also be connected with Saturn.  Saturn can have problems dealing with failure and can lapse into depression because of it, but is often connected with being determined to succeed.  Saturn likes to work, so will work through emotional struggles as well as everything else.  He likes feeling responsible.  Saturn is not often associated with natural talent for sports or for acting or comedy because it is cautious and not often not connected with being able to improvise, but I have noticed that athletes will often come from this age group, especially the ones who don’t work on teams.

That certainly doesn’t follow anything related with Will Farrell’s style as he is very talented at improv.  But, Saturn is connected with a style of humor in a dry, reserved kind of way and is connected with a good sense of rhythm.

The Gessell Institute studies showed that kids at Age 8 go through a positive and socially mature phase.  They are bright and interactive at this age.

Saturn in Farrell’s natal chart is placed in the sign of Aries.  It is not very happy in this sign as Aries is impulsive.  Farrell’s Saturn is also placed on the cusp of the 8th house which shows some kind of difficult secret concerning the Father, probably related to death or money or inheritance.  It is squaring natal Mercury in Cancer in the 10th house of career and Father.  Mercury is retrograde in Farrell’s chart.  This planet and Farrell’s Sun in later degrees of Cancer in H11 would have been activated around the time of the divorce.  Mercury represents communication and analytical thinking abilities.  So, perhaps as a child Farrell didn’t feel that he could express himself verbally but he learned a lot through these feelings of insecurity and subsequently developed a heightened talent/discipline for knowing just what to say and not to say in his acting.

Often Saturn shows us where our true lessons are in life and point us where our ability to succeed in the Real World lie.  This is all very strongly featured because Farrell’s Saturn is the handle planet of a bucket shaped chart.  All the rest of the planets in his chart are placed on the left side of the chart which means that Farrell feels that he is master of his own destiny.

Farrell was born in the late 1960s during a big conjunction of Uranus-Pluto and this conjunction connects with his Ascendant.  This is a generational aspect because these planets move so slowly and were hanging around together for a long time thus imprinting a lot of people.   In conjunction with the Ascendant this describes Farrell’s physical appearance and personality.  Pluto will show some sort of self control and ability to confront difficult topics.  Uranus represents shock and surprise and light heartedness.  Both planets are associated with crisis, so one can see the connection to comedy in a way.  I’ve said before that these planets are the major rulers of divorce and this conjunction was the major reason for the big divorce boom in the 70s.  So, having this conjunction on one’s Ascendant would indicate that one could become the poster child for divorce of that time period.

Unlike what Farrell’s chart shows, People who have planets mostly placed on the right side of the wheel will naturally feel strongly influenced by other people and situations in life.  This might show a problem for children in divorce because their parents won’t just be there in the background for them throughout life.

Also, one wants to notice in a chart if most of the planets are placed above the horizon or below it.  It is said that people with planets mostly below are more introverted and don’t rise above the problems presented to them in childhood.  This might be true in the U.S. where extroversion is a strong indicator for success.  In either event, I have noticed that successful children of divorce often have an empty 4th house.  This is the house associated with the bottom of the chart which represents infancy and homelife and nurturing.  If this house contains a lot of planets the person will automatically identify with history and childhood and deep feelings like blood ties and family — all the types of things that disappear after divorce.  For these types I imagine that the divorce will present more loss.

One also wants to look at the signs that are on the cusps of the 4th and 10th Houses to see how he/she views his parents’ parenting styles.  Farrell has the signs of Gemini and Sagittarius on his IC and MC axis.  Farrell sees them already as being changeable and maybe a source of his humor and intellect, and, anxiety.  He’s not burdened by a sense of overwhelming responsibility over how they conducted their lives.  Dealing with his family is maybe sort of a game.  Maybe he feels more at home with neighbors and people from other cultures.