Spoiled Children of Divorce


Exemplary Children of Divorce / Elizabeth Short, the Black Dahlia

The Black Dahlia murder keeps showing up in my internet play. When looking up James Elroy’s biography I didn’t read about the victim of this murder, Elizabeth Short. It turns out that Short was not really a Child of Divorce, but her parents were separated in a weird sort of way.

After going bankrupt in 1930 because of the Depression, Short’s Father faked his suicide so the family could receive insurance. Short was 6 years old. He moved from Massachusetts to California and rebuilt his life.

Short’s Mother moved her 5 daughters and took a job as a bookkeeper. Short moved to California to be with her Father when she was 19 but he threw her out of the house. Short partied and slept around and moved around a lot. She dated some servicemen during World War II but one, who she was set to marry, was killed.

Her murder is said to be a mystery to this day. She died when she was 22. This was very close to her 2d Jupiter Return which is interesting because she would have been under the influence of her first Jupiter opposition when her Father disappeared. This would explain her charm and her risk taking life style.



Exemplary Children of Divorce – Raymond Chandler

Raymond Chandler is a 20th Century detective novel writer written in a “hard-boiled style.” Some of the titles were The Big Sleep, Farewell My Lovely, and The Long Good-Bye. One might expect that a writer would discuss his childhood a bit but in the book Raymond Chandler Speaking (Gardner and Walker, p.20) he gives two liners to each parent.

His father: “My father was a graduate of Penn, a civil engineer. Divorced when I was seven…Never saw my father again.”

His Mother: “My Mother soon after returned to England to live with her mother and manage the house, and of course I went with her.”

Chandler grew up in Chicago until he was 7 years old. His Father worked for the railroads and was drunk most of the time. Chandler wrote that he was “found drunk if he was found at all.” (Hiney, Tom. Raymond Chandler: A Biography, p. 4).

Chandler’s Mother was born in Ireland and they moved to Ireland to live with family after his Father disappeared for the last time. They had lost their house and were living in a hotel where the boy caught Scarlett Fever. Chandler’s Mother never talked about his Father again.

Chandler said that he had wished his Mother had remarried in London. “I know that my mother had affairs — she wa a very beautiful woman– and the only thing that I felt to be wrong was that she refused to marry again for fear a step-father would not treat me kindly, since my father was such a swine.” (Honey, Tom. Raymond Chandler: A Biography, p. 10)

Chandler had generous relatives and grew up in Britain. He and his Mother returned to the United States. He worked at several professions, getting fired for drinking himself. He didn’t write his first story until 1933 at Age 45. His first novel, The Big Sleep, was published when he was 51.

Chandler fell in love with the step-mother of a friend who was 18 years his senior. His Mother forbade the relationship so Chandler didn’t marry Cissy until after her death. When his wife died in 1954 Chandler attempted suicide.

Chandler died in 1959 of pneumonia which was brought on by alcoholism.



Exemplary Children of Divorce – Meghan Markel

American Actress, Meghan Markel is engaged to marry Prince Harry of England in May. Both are Children of Divorce. Meghan was six years old when her parents split. Harry was eleven when his parents split and twelve when his Mother died.

Marriage can be a complicated event for Children of Divorce. All events are more complicated because there are so many more people to think about. Meghan’s Father lives in Mexico and will walk her down the aisle. Meghan didn’t invite many members of her Mother’s extended family. Some gave some really insulting interviews right after the announcement. Yahoo article here.



Talking About Mental Health

Here’s an interesting discussion. Olympic Swimmer Michael Phelps discusses his problems with Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal feelings. He talks with David Axelrod who talks a bit about his Father’s Suicide which he said he never talked about with anyone for 30 years. (In astrobabble terms, that’s a Saturn Return. Saturn rules the Father and also Depression). Neither interviewer or interviewee discusses being Children of Divorce. The stigma is just that strong.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/michael-phelps-helping-others-with-depression-light-years-better-than-olympic-gold/CBSnews. Michael Phelps discusses mental health.



Exemplary Children of Divorce – Mark Manson

Here’s an except blogger Mark Manson wrote about his parents’ divorce in The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. Completely different from my own experience. Manson writes a blog giving dating advice and has published an article called “It’s not our parents’ fault” which doesn’t discuss Divorce at all.

from pp. 52-55

“And just when I had finally cleaned up my act and turned in my assignments and learned the value of good clerical responsibility, my parents decided to get divorced.

“I tell you all of this only to point out that my adolescence sucked donkey balls. I lost all of my friends, my community, my legal rights, and my family within the span of about nine months. My Therapist in my twenties would later call this ‘some real traumatic shit,’ and I would spend the next decade-and- change working on unraveling it and becoming less of a self-absorbed, entitled little prick.

“The problem with my home life back then was not all of the horrible things that were said or done; rather, it was all of the horrible things that needed to be said and done but weren’t. My family stonewalls the way Warren Buffet makes money or Janna Jameson fucks: we’re champions at it. The house could have been burning down around us and it would have been met with, ‘Oh no, everything’s fine. A tad warm in here, perhaps–but really, everything’s fine.’

“When my parents got divorced, there were no broken dishes, no slammed doors, no screaming arguments about who fucked whom. Once they had reassured my brother and me that it wasn’t our fault, we had a Q&A session — yes you read that right — about the logistics of the new living arrangement. Not a tear was shed. Not a voice was raised. The closest peek my brother and I got into our parents’ unraveling emotional lives was hearing, ‘Nobody cheated on anybody.’ Oh, that’s nice. It was a tad warm in the room, but really, everything was fine.

….

“When ‘real traumatic shit’ like this happens in our lives, we begin to unconsciously feel as though we have problems that we’re incapable of ever solving. And this assume inability to solve our problems causes us to feel miserable and helpless.

“But it also causes something else to happen. If we have problems that are unsolvable, our unconscious figures that we’re either uniquely special or uniquely defective in some way. That we’re somehow unlike everyone else and that the rules must be different for us.

“Put simply: we become entitled.

“The pain from my adolescence led me down a road of entitlement that lasted through much of my early adulthood.

….

“My trauma had revolved around intimacy and acceptance, so I felt a constant need to overcompensate, to proe to myself that I was loved and accepted at all times. And as a result, I soon took to chasing women the same way a cocaine addict takes to a snowman made out of cocaine: I made sweet love to it, and then promptly suffocated myself in it.

“I became a player–an immature, selfish, albeit sometimes charming player. And I strung up a long series of superficial and unhealthy relationships for the better part of a decade.

“I was often unemployed, living on friends’ couches or with my mom, drinking way more than I should have been, alienating a number of friends–and when I did meet a woman I really like, my self-absorption quickly torpedoed everything.



Exemplary Children of Divorce – Manly P. Hall

The early 20th century in the United States was populated by spiritual and psychic gurus. Many of them apparently were phonies. One who is considered genuine was Manly P. Hall. Hall was born in Canada. His father was a dentist who he never met. His mother left him in the care of his grandmother so she could go to chiropractor school. She was a Rosicrucian which was a popular religion in California and was probably a big influence on Hall’s later work. Hall’s parents shared his last name so I suppose they were married and divorced before his first year. Halls mother left him (I think at age of 3 but am not sure) and his grandmother moved him to South Dakota. The grandmother passed away when he was sixteen. He then moved to California to either be with his Mother or with the Rosicruceans, or both. Hall had great good luck finding followers and financial backing through women donors. He published his greatest work before the age of 28.

The astrology is interesting in that it shows a big influence from the Moon. Children whose parents divorce very early during the first year will only have completed a few lunar cycles. This could set the influence of this planet in their character and destiny. The Moon can give great public attention, psychic abilities and sensitivity, and also influence from women, Home, food, babies, and childbearing. The Moon represents the Mother so I wonder how that figured in his life. Hall’s book, “The Secret Teachings of all Ages,” was published during his first secondary progressed lunar return. It has never gone out of print.



Exemplary Children of Divorce – Jack Parsons
May 29, 2016, 4:29 pm
Filed under: Exemplary Children of Divorce, Uncategorized

Jack Parsons is remembered as a Rocket Scientist who helped start the Jet Propulsion laboratory at the California Institute of Technology. He is also remembered for his wild personal life as he was a follower of the cult started by Aleister Crowly. He experimented with drugs and participated in sexual orgies and whatever else it says on his Wikipedia bio.

According to Wikipedia Parsons was born on October 2, 1914. His Mother threw his father out of the house for visiting prostitues about 5 or 6 months later in March, 1915. Shamed, his Father moved back to Massachusetts where his parents were originally from. Parsons’ rich grandparents moved to California and raised him and his mother in a very nice neighborhood. Parsons spent a solitary childhood and read a lot. He became interested in mythology and then Science Fiction and futurist thinking around the age of 10-12. Parsons did poorly in school because it’s thought that he was dyslexic. (That doesn’t explain all the time spent reading.) He was bullied in school because it is said that he was effeminate.

At some point Parsons developed an interest in building rockets which he made with gun powder. He also studied occultism and devil worship. The family’s ¬†financial situation worsened during the Depression and Parsons was unable to attend college. His career is really complicated. Because of his talent for building rockets he was hired To design them. Later on He worked at a lot of other jobs especially after he was blacklisted as being a spy for the Israelis and could no longer find employment for anything related to government. Children of Divorce do tend to get bullied a lot.

Parsons’ relationships were pretty forward thinking and casual and strange. He lived for a while with his wife, her boyfriend and his girlfriend in a house. ¬†His girlfriend left him for science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard.

Parsons died at age 37 on June 17, 1952 while building explosives for a movie set. His house blew up. The death was either an accident or suicide or murder. The police ruled that it was suicide. His mother committed suicide right after.