Spoiled Children of Divorce

If Your Parents Divorced When You Were Age 5.5 to 6.5: Swingers

I’m going to back track now to Age 5.5 because I didn’t talk about the first Jupiter Opposition which occurs around that time.  Jupiter’s opposition can happen earlier or later than this date.  It seems to be a distinctive version of the Jupiter Cycle as far as relating to Children of Divorce.  The Opposition is often considered one of the difficult transits.  It is the point of the orbit when Jupiter is farthest away from its natal position and suggests a feeling of being pulled in the opposite direction, of needing to always find balance, and of simply being opposed.  Often oppositions in a natal chart shows that a native struggles with relationships in whatever way the planets, signs and houses imply.  So the effect of a divorce on a child at this time might be significant. Jupiter is a freedom loving influence which often doesn’t enjoy being pinned down by others and so right off the bat one can see where trouble might lie when a traumatic event occurs just as a child is having this first experience in life.

This planetary return phase also seems to relate strongly to the first major Progressed Moon phase which comes after it, so I’m going to talk about these two as they seem to work together.  Also, the Moon’s Nodal Axis has a first major transit aspect, the trine, which is considered an “easy” aspect.  This occurs a little after the 6th Birthday and might provide a positive balancing element.  Age 6 might represent a time when the easy days of childhood are beginning to grow into something else.

The Planetary Return Cycles and phases don’t happen on a rigid schedule. They are much different for each individual and may account for much individualization in interpretation between natal charts.  A person who is born in one year won’t share the same Moon and Jupiter transits and progressions as someone born 11 years later and will experience the two parts of these cycles in much different relation to each other.  I don’t know which Astrologer if any has looked at this as it relates to how the planets can be interpreted in the life.

Over and over again the writers  of the Gessell Institute/Yale Child Center books say and that children develop at slightly different ages and so individuality must be considered for each child.  There is no “normal” age of development, just averages.

Trying to connect planetary returns and phases of development in children with any set event, such as a divorce may not be possible because divorces often occur over a period of at least a year and in some cases may take up a person’s entire childhood.  However, there is usually a certain age, or a specific year that a person will refer to as the year that his parents’ divorced.

So at roughly around Age 5.5 years old Jupiter opposes its natal position and this can happen earlier or it can happen later depending on how fast Jupiter is traveling in its orbit.

At an average age of 6.5 a child will experience his first major difficult progression from the Moon, the first square. I’m going to discuss the progressed Moon transit phases mostly in relation to Saturn in the next post because they rule the opposite ends of the same pole that rules family and parents and relate strongly to each other and in my opinion show a particularly difficult stage of development for a Child of Divorce to experience break up of a family. But, I’m finding is that there seems to be a strong relationship between the Jupiter Opposition and the first Secondary Progressed Lunar Return in the charts of celebrities who grew up in divorce.  The charts of the successful people that I’m looking at seem to have very dominant placements of the moon in their charts.  It is either in conjunction with an angle or with the Nodal Axis in most of the charts in close to all of the charts of celebrities that I’ve collected for around this age.

I’ve discussed the very basic keywords that describe a Jupiterian influence in the natal chart.  I’m keeping the interpretations very broad for right now.  I’m having a lot of trouble reading any predictive value of upcoming Jupiter Returns in the individual’s later lives with regards to these early partial Jupiter phases of Return cycles.  I’ve checked Jupiter Return years for both the natal chart and the phase chart and they don’t seem to be very reliable indicators for experiencing future traumas.

I can, however,  see the influence in the personalities through their larger than life and easy going talents and accomplishments. The kids in this group have the pizazz and charm of Jupiter, and the ability to appeal to broad audiences.  Many of the Jupiterian influence types will often find careers in Jupiterian fields, probably experience a lot of “lucky breaks.” I can see that they will easily detach from family situations that don’t work for them and go off and do their own thing.  I wouldn’t expect a Jupiter influenced individual to have only one marriage himself as an adult although I definitely don’t have enough examples to use to say if this is true one way or another.

At around the age of 6.3 years, a child will experience his first trine of transiting Nodal Axis to his natal Nodes.  The Nodal Axis is related to describing  a person’s destiny.  It shows the characteristics that will most likely lead to failure on the South Node end and the characteristics that will most likely lead to success through the North Node.  Trines are positive influences that show a time in which there is a feeling of a good sense of ease and flow within the life.  This might help a child accept what is going in his homelife.  Trines can always lapse into a sense of slackness, though, and not dealing with crisis so perhaps this explains why there are few examples of children from this age in my list.  There are some psychological problems related to easy transits that are very similar to the problems I talked about with easy Jupiter transits.

Children who go through their parents’ divorce between the Ages of 5.5 and 6.5 seem to be caught between two planetary return phase cycles with the Nodal Axis trine stuck between.  I wonder what the significance is of the 6th Birthday in Child Development.  This represents the Sun which is the opposite big gravitational pull in addition to the Moon and Jupiter.

At Age 6 as with all even numbered ages there will be the third Mars Return which can be a tempermental influence which could include how a child handles anger.

The first Progressed Lunar Square on average occurs around Age 7 but may happen as early as 6 1/2.  Since Square aspects are thought to bring “Challenges” or “Lessons” this will bring a first struggle a child has dealing with all things having to do with his Moon sign.  Remember the Moon rules Mom, the Family, the Homes, the environment, Emotional Needs and Bonds, etc.  It is a key ruler in the birth chart.  The Secondary Progressed Moon Cycle doesn’t complete until around Age 27 so this is a very long cycle.

Usually the Progressed Lunar Return is looked at in terms of its relationship to the Saturn Cycle since the Moon and Saturn rule opposite ends of the same pole. The Saturn return cycle phases, especially in childhood, come very soon after the Secondary Progressed Moon Cycle.  This varies widely.  The difference in time might be only a couple of months or it could be a year and a half.  In kid years, that’s eternity.

In the chart examples I’ve been studying for successful people I’ve noticed a couple of interesting coincidences.  The Moon seems to be prominently placed in the natal chart (I’ve only got 6 examples from Age 6, not very many).  The Moon will often be in aspect to either the Nodal Axis or the  Angles of the birth chart.

In the 6 charts of Celebrities that I have, Jupiter is in major aspect with the Nodal Axis as well in most of the charts.  This perhaps shows that the trauma of divorce triggers the natal Jupiter-Nodal Axis into action and perhaps pushes them into the spotlight.  As we will see, they might struggle internally with being in the spotlight as well.  Jupiter doesn’t revel in the limelight the way that the Sun or Saturn might.  Jupiter is competitive, however, and will love the game of trying to beat out others.  Once he gets ahead he won’t want to lead, necessarily, unless there are many other indicators in the birth chart.

By coincidence, the Gessell Institute Books say that at Age 5 1/2 children go through a variety of behaviors which seem to match this Jupiter transit and which can be directly explained by both the Jupiter Opposition aspect and the Progressed Lunar Square (and the 3d Mars Return). The Gessell Institute Doctors wrote that children at this Age go through a sort of SeeSaw of behavior patterns.  They are said to swing between extreme behaviors of being good and bad.  This is a signature both of the Opposition aspect and also of Jupiter which does things in a big way, to the extreme in either direction, and of the Moon which naturally ebbs and flows.  As I’ve said before, Jupiter has the strongest gravitational pull of any planet after the Sun.  He has many of his own moons and tends to attract comets who crash into him.  The Moon clearly has a strong gravitational pull on the earth which is observed in the tides.

Interesting how so many childhood playground equipment centers caters to a child who is learning how to gain balance physically.  Seesaws, swing sets, jungle gyms, balance beams are all the toys that 5 1/2 year old naturally play on.   Children at this age are throwing their weight around all day in a sense of play. This connects directly with the Astrology of Jupiter and the Opposition aspect.  Jupiter is the largest planet.  Kids at this age are very aware of their bodies, expect to grow very fast and are very aware of their physical size.  Jupiter can also bestow a sort of clumsiness as kids are constantly having to relearn how to use their fastly growing bodies.  (I wonder if trauma can come through later on as being accident prone, or extremely physical in some excessive way).

The Gessell Institute book literally says that children are “Bipolar” at this age.  I think the book was written before this word was used for the mental illness so am pretty sure they weren’t referring to mental illness.  I can only imagine how many children today who are struggling to break out of a traumatized childhood event like divorce are mis-diagnosed with this disorder.  Truth is, their bodies and minds could be stuck in the wild swing set of what was going on in their families at Age 5 1/2 when the divorce occurred.  It wouldn’t be easy to try to develop out of this age without a lot of parental guidance.  The next two phases, Moon and Saturn, are as I said (in my opinion) difficult phases for Children of Divorce and I can see how a Jupiterian might prefer to just stay as he is if everything Lunar and Saturnian going on in in his home is falling apart.  The next two Return phases coming up are biggees related to dealing with home-life needs and family and parents and as I’ve said.

The Moon and Saturn do rule opposite ends of the same pole.  So it’s interesting how the big Jupiterian polar swing seems to occur right before.

I sort of wonder if kids whose parents divorce at this age remember the time as being a sort of roller coaster of ups and downs. However, on amusement park rides one is supposed to sit on one end or the other of the Hammerhead, not at the fulcrum or in the sidelines the way where Children of Divorce generally end up.

Through the Jupiter Opposition one can also see how a child will be viewing his Relationships.  Oppositions will show relationships just because they show two ends of the same pole.  The relationships that a 6 year old will look for could be different from the relationship adults look for.  He will hopefully have friends.  And, as Jupiter represents Teachers one can sense that a child will especially benefit from guidance from Teachers or other Role Models at this age.  Jupiterians have lots of opinions and they will perhaps be seeking opinions from others at this point so that they have something to emulate.   Kids at this age will want to share their big Jupiterian Vocabularies which are developing and they want to be exposed to the wonders of all kinds of other ways of living.  If parents who are fighting with each other share their Jupiterian opinions with the kids then the kids will probably use this as intellectual information on which to base their own opinions.

Kids at this age might also become very aware of parents who are Jupiterian in negative ways.  The Irresponsible Daddy who is away traveling all the time, and the Fun, Sexy Mommy who is gone all the time with her boyfriends will let the child know that he is either invisible or will have to act just like her when he/she grows up.  Jupiter can tend to overdo whatever it does.  So a parent who drinks too much, or parties too much, or watches too much TV, or eats too much, or spends all his free time studying for a Doctorate and praying at Church will probably become a very prominent memory in the child’s life.  Often the child will grow up feeling invisible in relation to some sort of larger, gravitational presence.  That’s often a good thing, but there could be a feeling of psychological abandonment to reconcile as an adult.

At any rate, the Child Development experts at Yale (and Gessell Institute) say that there are certain difficult behaviors that crop up at this age.  Stephanie Staal’s book also shows some of the same problems.  Astrologers seldom discuss the Jupiter/Sagittarius problems because often they suffer from them personally.  I do tend to notice that Mutable Sign suns are literally often diagnosed as Bipolar (not that they are) and I’ve met plenty of Sagittarius/Jupiter women, in particular, with that DSM number.  I’ve also met a couple of Sagittarians who said that they were the quiet child who never stood out.  Perhaps this is the difficult side of the Jupiterian childhood.  Often they outgrow this and become the life of the party, but deep down they worry  about how nothing ever feels right.

Jupiter struggles with extreme anxieties.  Some people are naturally quiet but I don’t think that Jupiterians are happy in that state overall.  Often one might expect that a Jupiterian influenced person will struggle with needing freedom in relationships later on in life, relies too heavily on chance and good luck and may easily tire of pulling g’s from all those swings in life style.  Often they will become territorial and need a lot of space in their living environments.  People from this age on my list seem to have a larger than life vibe.  They seem to understand that one must show a style and a face toward the public.  They may be “pulling” away from others who they have relationships with just as Jupiter is pulling away at its own placement in the astrological chart through the opposition phase of the return transit.

Weird thing is how prominent the Moon is in the celebrity charts for this Age.  In 5 out of the 6 charts that I have (admittedly too small a grouping to make mass generalization), the Moon is in conjunction with either the Nodal Axis or an Angle and major planets in the chart.  I think this might be significant in that the next major Return phase cycle will be the first separating square that the Secondary Progressed Moon makes to its natal position.  As I’ve said before, the Moon rules Mother, Women, Family, Home, Food and feelings.  Often they will become successful through a “face” and so they will need a lot of “down time” in order to regroup.  So, I’ll be pointing out this part of the examples I have as well.  I’ll be discussing the actual progressed Moon charts in the Age 6 – 7 group.

Within Divorced Families, as described in the examples in Stephanie Staal’s book The Love They Lost, this moodiness and inward behavior does come through.  This could be from the Jupiterian Opposition aspect or it could be from the Progressed Moon square which comes up roughly within a year.  If related to Jupiter I would suppose that the child survived by making himself invisible.  If related to Moon I suspect that the Child used the Lunar influence outwardly towards parenting the parents through the divorce rather than inwardly in order to understand his own emotional needs as would naturally happen.

The children seem to try to deal with their feelings through self-protective and defensive ways.  On p. 38-39 of Staal’s book a female describes how she held her feelings in until she left home at age 19.  Since the Moon rules the Home it seems that any shift in that situation might trigger an emotional flood of sorrow later on in life.  This also shows the big Jupiterian life swings that I’ve described.  This sense of being overwhelmed by feelings with no place to properly express them could certainly be Jupiter.  It’s definitely considered a Lunar influence.  This female says that she kept herself busy in order to deal with the trauma that she was completely exhausted by the time she hit her 20s and spent much of that time “floundering around.” (Nice watery Moon imagery there).

Another female, on p. 110 (Staal), describes how she did all the housework while her Mother’s drinking took over.  She was praised for “being the strong one” and stayed at home rather than going out with friends as a sort of moral and loyalty thing.   All examples that I have in Staal are female.  I’m not sure what to make of that.  Perhaps it is an easier age for a female to relate to than a male because of the Moon influence?  Perhaps in most families the caring Father presence is lost and the boys become lost as well from lack of a role model.

All examples in Staal discuss the divorce in terms of their emotional reaction to it, which shows a total Lunar influence.  People from the younger ages in the book often describe what happened rather than by the child/adults’ reaction.  Descriptions:  “I was shell-shocked for years.”  “I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders.”  These children will struggle intensely if the Mother struggles.  They often will go through a negative phase of reaction to the Father as well.  Often they will switch from living with one parent to living with the other parent when problems crop up.

There is a positive example in this book.  One female (p. 74) said that her parents “protected” her from the Divorce.  Protection is what the Moon wants.  The parents kept a friendly relationship with each other.  She saw her Mother flourish and remarry a man who she liked.  Her Father and Step Father got along.  The sign of Cancer in astrology is ruled by the crab image.  The whole existence is related to hiding the soft hyper sensitive body behind a hard outer shell.  If a child doesn’t have to do that then he may not feel harmed by the event (that’s common sense, of course, the astrological influence will be very strong under Lunar transits than other planetary aspects).  Coming out of the self protective shell which is created to survive emotional harm is a major challenge for Lunar people.  Best to provide the shell and let the child “exist” for a while?   In happy households, a child going through a moody phase might be allowed to exist if only for a while.  Divorce is an extroverts’ activity, however, and a parent who sees a moody child will think that the behavior is the fault of the divorce.  It is important for children of divorce that they are allowed to grow into and out of their own phases.  How to do that in reality is anybody’s guess.  (Actually, one simple technique from Astrology: you can look in the child’s natal chart for areas that sextile and trine the traumatized planet to see how to redirect the child’s interests, possibly offering a path around the problem).

With the Jupiterian influence, the child will put up a facade and appear fine in order to take care of the parents’ feelings.  He will be a people pleaser.  He will bottle this up for as long as he can but eventually will suffer from having kept his needs invisible for so long.  This might not be true for a child under a heavy Saturn influence who will have the exact opposite type of reaction, but I’ll get to that.

Since Jupiter and the Moon are related to consumption and food and overdoing, I sort of wonder if there are a lot of issues around weight control from this age group.  These kids might grow up feeling very hungry or they might starve themselves as a way of denying their needs, something which would match their need for family.  There would be a strong emotional bond with food in some way.  Probably keeping regular meals going and demanding that there is no fighting allowed at this time would be a good policy for the child’s health later on in life.

I discussed how I think that Jupiter might be connected with fantasies in children’s lives through its traditional rulership of the sign of Neptune.  Among these fantasies are the themes that most little girls have of being Princesses.  (There is a really funny story that Sagittarius comedian Sarah Silverman tells about 3 and 4 year old girl’s desire to be princesses, it’s very funny use of double entendre for Sarah but I think she describes a big part of how Jupiter relates to childhood).  Princess Diana of Wales went through the initial phase of her parents’ divorce at Age 5. But her Father “abducted” her from her Mother’s house right around the Holidays when she was 6 years old.  Since she literally became a Princess later on in life she sort of embodies the Jupiterian connection that I spoke of earlier about Jupiter being connected with Princesses.   Sorry, I just love these literal connections.  Diana’s life did sort of evolve in wide swings.  She struggled with her weight.  She was super cool and charming.  And she showed the humanitarian and caring spirit that a combination of Jupiter and Moon will show.

There really does seem to be a Princess like quality to the successful women who grow up from this relationship age.  Both Audrey Hepburn and Tyra Banks were six years old when their parents divorced.  Audrey Hepburn grew up in War time in Europe.  Her parents divorced in the middle of all of this.   Hepburn, according to Wikipedia, said that her Father’s abandonment was the biggest trauma of her life and her marriages fell apart because of deep insecurities related to her Father.

I can’t find any connections between the time of her divorce and later events in her life  with either her Prog. Lunar Returns ((1956-7, 1984-5) or her Jupiter opposition Returns.  But it is easy to see how strong the events of this early age stayed with her.  The Moon is related to Food and Care and Hepburn later became an Ambassador for UNICEF because the aid packages sent by the U.S. after the war actually made her sick. Her natal Moon is placed very prominently in her chart in the first house conjunct her Ascendant and opposing natal Neptune/DESC. It’s interesting to wonder about her Jupiter Opposition placement as well.  Jupiter is also related to style and good taste.  I remember watching an interview with Hepburn in which she describes how she realized that she would have to develop her own style in order to succeed.  Can’t remember all the things she did to her appearance, but do remember that she developed her own personal style by exaggerating her appearance.  She said that she exaggerated her eyebrows.  Exaggeration is a key Jupiter word.  Natally, Hepburn had a conjunction of Jupiter to her North Node in Taurus which shows how strongly the events related to Jupiter would be in her life.  I’m not sure if she suffered from Anorexia but I suspect she was.

Tyra Banks also has natal Moon conjunct an angle and involved in an opposition to an outer planet heavy.  Her Aries Moon is conjunct her Midheaven and opposing Pluto 29 Gemini Rx and squaring Saturn 3 Cancer Rx.  So her first progressed Lunar Opposition would have tripped off this big t-square in her chart.  This aspect shows a lot of self control in a person.  But it can show an element of ruthlessness and cruelty and of secrets that one doesn’t speak about.  Banks says that everyone in her family has remained friendly with each other since the divorce.  Like Audrey Hepburn, I’ve seen interviews with Banks where she explains her success through some exaggerated way of looking.  In her case, it’s through her “Schmize.”  That’s how she smiles through her eyes.

My all-time favorite singer, Aretha Franklin, would fit into this category.  She isn’t a Princess, of course, she is a Queen. And so, she doesn’t fit into my interpretation for Jupiter in that regard.  All that emotional repression that a child struggles with during her parents’ divorce seems to have served Franklin just fine through her music.  I’ve read, however, that Aretha has suffered from time to time from bouts of depression and this does seem to fit with Progressed Moon problems.  It might show the swing influence from Jupiter which could bring huge emotional extremes.  Certainly her music has that glorious Jupiterian sound and this woman definitely can swing.

Among male examples whose parents are divorced at Age 6 are Actor Mickey Rourke and Singer Frank Sinatra, Jr.

Frank Sinatra, Jr. became a professional singer like his Father.  His Father was absent during much of his childhood because of work commitments.  Sinatra, Jr. has the same Moon conjunct ASC (in Cancer) that Audrey Hepburn had.  In his case, Moon is opposing natal Sun-Desc.  (This means that he was born during a Full Moon which was just rising as he was born).  Sinatra, Jr. knew from a very early age (Age 5) that he wanted to be a professional singer just like his Father even though his Father didn’t want him to follow in his footsteps.  One can see the independent Jupiterian relationship struggle here.  His Father literally was a Sagittarius.  Sinatra, Jr. is a Cancer/Capricorn person who naturally expresses himself both through his ego (the Sun) and feeling (the Moon) by being strongly connected with parents.  His parent, his Father at any rate, was independent and freedom loving.  His relationship with his family would be super prominent in his life, that’s for sure.

Sinatra, Jr. was abducted shortly after his first Nodal Return at age 19.  His Nodal Axis is conjunct his Moon-Asc and his natal Pluto so all these elements were triggered just as they would have been right around the time of his parents’ divorce.  At this point his progressed Moon was squaring his Ascendant exactly, and natal Moon by 4 degrees.  Pluto rules crime and mafia and abductions of all types.  This proved to be a huge test for his Father’s love for him.  It involved paying the Kidnappers a huge ransom for Sinatra, Jr.s’ release.  This presented another obstacle for Sinatra, Jr., though, for his early attempts for a singing career.  People questioned whether or not it was a publicity stunt (The Moon = Publicity, for what it’s worth).  Later on, Sinatra, Jr. put his own career on hold in 1988 to handle his Father’s career as musical director and conductor.

Jupiter, on the other hand, in Sinatra, Jr’s natal says something completely different. It is placed in his chart at 26 Leo and it’s unaspected to other planets.  This means that it doesn’t relate to the other planets in the chart.   This would have been under big stress when his parents divorced.  It’s placed in the 2d House of Money and Self-Esteem.  So the divorce probably intensified Sinatra, Jr.’s desire to be in show business and to be recognized but at the same time worked less well with the rest of his personality.  Interesting that Dad said that he didn’t want his son to follow in his footsteps.  Turns out that all the Sinatra children became singers.  Daughter Nancy even sang a song about Boots being made for walking.  There’s an interesting footsteps metaphor in there somewhere I’m sure.

Actor Mickey Rourke is the Poster Boy for Jupiter Opposition-Moon Square Child of Divorce.  He also shows the extreme good luck that is probably associated with Jupiter.  He often portrays characters who struggle with larger than life ideals.  And he also shows a great ability to bounce back.

I don’t have a birth time for Rourke so can’t find his Ascendant and angles.  His Moon is probably in Leo (acting) and might be conjunct Pluto and the South Node in his chart.  So, right there we see similarities with Frank Sinatra, Jr.s’ chart.  This shows the emotional depths that Rourke has gone to in his life.  Interesting that he has switched back and forth between Boxing career and an acting career during his life.  These switches occur right around the times of his Secondary Progressed Lunar Returns.  Rourke’s Acting Career started in 1979 during his first Prog. Lunar Return.  And he had a successful comeback in 2005 during his second progressed Lunar Return.

Jupiter is related to interests in sports and often I’ve noticed that Jupiter Return Children of D often develop childhood obsessions with Sports.  The whole idea that the Gessell Institute says that these children are moody and swing back and forth in their behaviors are shown literally in Rourke’s biography.  Literally, also, his career choice in sports involves needing to take a swing at the opponent.  He won his first boxing match at Age 12 which would have been just after his first Jupiter Return.  Rourke’s natal Jupiter is at 21 Taurus Retrograde.  It is squaring his natal North Node-Pluto and possibly Moon conjunction in Leo so Moon and Jupiter transits and progressions will always be connected with each other in his life.

The exceptional good luck and survival skills to reinvent himself may gain some help from the fact that Rourke has Pluto in conjunction with Jupiter and the Nodal Axis in his chart as well. This is a signature for success in life.  But, the trauma from the Divorce may have set Rourke on to an uncontrollable roller coaster as well.  I know that he has struggled to overcome some domestic violence problems as well as addiction problems.

Copyright 2010. Spoiled Children of Divorce blog.  All Rights Reserved.

Exemplary Children of Divorce – Eminem, Usher, and Justin Bieber

I was looking through today’s USA Today and saw articles about two popular male singers.  One is Eminem who I know grew up in Divorce because I saw the movie 8 Mile.  The other singer who was profiled is Justin Bieber who I don’t even know.  The article said that Bieber is from Divorce as well.

If I’m using accurate Ages for when these two singers, Rap Singer Eminem and Pop Singer Justin Bieber, I think that through these singers’ charts I can show a bit about the influence of Astrological Return Cycles which become prominent in children after their parents divorce and how they can be used creatively in an individual’s life.

To add to things, while doing this research, I began to notice that R&B Singer Usher always seemed to be in the background in pictures of both of these other singers.  So I decided to take a brief look at his chart as well to see if I could see the strong style characteristic differences of the 3 singers including him as well.  I suppose this would be a fun project for someone to do who has more knowledge of the musical styles.

Eminem’s Father left before his son was 2 years old. I’m going to include Eminem in the Mars Return crowd because he truly does reflect the Mars type of personality.  Eminem’s first Venus Return occurred very early, 2 1/2 months before his first Birthday.  Perhaps this shows that he is first and foremost a Venusian.  Venus rules the Voice and Singing so I suppose one can see this emphasis.  He is a Libra so Venus rules his Sun Sign.  And I suppose there may be a huge conflict within his personality in understanding why as a Venusian he expresses himself so strongly as a Mars type.

Eminem’s first Mercury Return would have occurred about a week before his first Birthday.  Mercury went through a Retrograde Period just after his Birthday and I suspect that this would have been an extremely stressful time for finalizing a phase of development in one’s communication skills.  Mercury in Scorpio can be quite sarcastic and secretive and paranoid.  On the other hand it can show a great ability to hold back one’s thoughts and to share them in a very discerning and focused way.  As I’ve said about Mercury, I think it is the Child’s version of perception of a parent’s divorce because 1) it is the lower octave of Uranus which is typically thought to be the major ruler of divorce for adults 2) it is associated with duplicates, split thinking and behaviors 3) it rules Virgo which I’ve discussed before as probably being a major descriptor in Astrology of Children and Divorce.  (Back in the post on how a major Astrology magazine gave rulership of growing up in Divorce to Neptune.  Neptune and its sign Pisces rule Orphans, not children of Divorce.  However, I suggest that the sign opposite Pisces, which is Virgo, is probably very much related to growing up in divorce.  The generation that was created while Pluto was transiting through Virgo experienced the big Divorce boom.

Eminem was born on Oct. 17, 1972.  His first Mars Return was roughly on Sept. 28, 1974 so occurred about a month before his 2d birthday.  So this may line up with when his parents split.

I can’t be positive with Eminem, granted this is all a work in progress, but he certainly seems to represent what a person who lives under strong Mars influence will act and do in life.  Obviously, he is first born and a son.  I believe he is an only child.  As I described, or tried to describe, is that Mars brings early success, it rules the first sign in the Zodiac and typically represents people who will be first in their field in some way.  These are children who in divorce will be sensitive to being demoted by step-families.  Mars is the Warrior and because of that one might expect some impulsiveness in their behavior and times in life when they must deal with rage and anger.  Eminem’s music represents that.  I believe this speaks to the Rapper generation which was based on making one’s statement and stating one’s feelings openly.  Eminem’s had many #1 albums, which shows his #1 vibe.  This is true of the other two singers I’m talking about here as well, though, along with the ability to have success at an early age.

Eminem’s greatest hit is called “Lose Yourself.”  The lyrics certianly show the Mars struggle within relationships.   http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/eminem/loseyourself.html.  As I said in my post about Age 2 / Mars kids, these seem to be the ones who blame themselves for their parents’ break-up.  Eminem talks about poverty and with his Mother and with wanting to deal with fame and with wanting to get out of the trailer park.  Mars speaks from its gut, openly and will face the problem head-on.

The beginning lyrics of “Lose Yourself:”

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

So then there’s 16 year teen heart throb Justin Bieber who has only been in the business for 2 or 3 years.  He doesn’t really come across as an angry teenager.  His style is completely different from Eminem’s but he seems heavily influenced by Eminem’s openness and confrontation of problems.  Both Bieber and Eminem share similar stories.  They were oldest sons who moved around a lot with their Mothers during childhood.  They’ve both written songs about wanting to buy their Mothers real homes.  They began to sing at about the same age.

I’m not sure about the timing of Bieber’s parents divorce.  It seems that he is a first born son.  His Mother became pregnant very early on at Age 18.  One source said that Bieber has two younger siblings, a brother and a sister, who live with his Father.  There are differences between Bieber’s childhood and Eminem’s.  Bieber is Canadian, for one.  But he has positive contact with his Father.  And he and his Mother are also very Religious.

If my astrology stuff pans out, I doubt that Bieber’s parents would have divorced when he was Age 2.  One source on the Internet said that Bieber was 2.  Others say that he was 3 and one says that he was 10 years old.  The influence of Jupiter (Age 3, Jupiter square) seems to be strong.  One can see the reliance on Religion, the social wholesomeness of a pop star rather than a rapper.  The Jupiterian sound of Joy in his voice rather than Anger.  These are both very strong topics in Music and the Arts in general so I don’t judge whether one is more important than the other.

In the USA Today article there is even discussion of how Bieber has taken on a Mentor.  This is yet another positive influence for a Jupiterian type.  Bieber also was a “Hockey Geek.” Jupiterian kids will often deal with trauma by becoming obsessed with sports.  And his career began around the time of his Jupiter Return at age 12.  Bieber is also known for his haircut, a sort of bowl style cut that many kids are now getting.  This style influence is Jupiterian, not Mars.  While Mars energy will express itself from the gut and from life experience, Jupiter naturally tends to express itself through Joy and through Higher Education and Religion.  The music of Beethoven is also the extremely passionate side of Jupiter.

So, at any rate, I hope to know at some point what his age really was.

Bieber has written a song about going through his parent’s divorce called “Down to Earth.

From metrolyrics.com:

Mommy, you were always somewhere,
And Daddy, I live out of town,
So tell me how could I ever be, normal somehow?
You tell me this is for the best,
So tell me why am I in tears?
(Woo) so far away and now I just need you here,

He has written another song called “Where are you now” which is supposed to be about his Father.  One can certainly feel the feelings of rejection and abandonment and sorrow of not having a Father around.

If you click on the links you will notice that the kid’s got an incredible voice.  Bieber says this about his parents’ divorce:

“My parents weren’t the type to talk trash about each other,” he says. “Some parents, when they split up, the mom will say, “Your dad’s a jerk,” but mine were never like that. So that definitely made it easier for me. I knew they loved me, and they split up because of them, not because of me.”

Usher’s parents split when their son was one year old. Usher was born 6 years after Eminem but both men are Libras.  Eminem’s birthdate is October 17 and Usher’s is October 14.  (Justin Bieber is a Pisces, born Mar. 1, 1994).

Since Usher was Age 1 when his parents split, he would have been influenced by his Solar Return and also possibly his Mercury and Venus Returns because the Returns for these three tend to occur around the same time as the first Birthday (i.e. Solar Return).  His music does seem to reflect a more Romantic vibe than Eminem’s music.

Turns out that Usher’s first Mercury Return occurred about a week before his first Birthday and his first Venus Return occurred about a week after his first Birthday.  So the energies of these 3 planets sort of “jelled” very close in time to each other.  In a way, Usher is sort of a Poster Boy for representing what I was talking about for this age group.  Unfortunately, I’m having trouble finding much biographical information about his childhood.  Usher was raised by his Mother and has one younger brother.  His Mother has been his Manager and I’m not sure if she still is. Usher began in show business at Age 14.

These Sun-Mercury-Venus types would be very good at understanding popular vibe and they are most comfortable working with others rather than as “lone wolfs”.  The energy is light and plays with relationships.  There is a great romantic spirit through Venus.  And with both Mercury and Venus in the sign of Scorpio there’s a very sexy vibe in Usher’s chart as well. This, of course, shows the Rap roots.  Pluto adds depth to whatever it touches.  And there is an understanding of power and how power works.  These types could have a great idea of what “sells.”

Usher might not have the conflict in his self-expression that Eminem does because he is a Libra type and has this early Venusian trauma experience that sets that influence in his being.

Usher’s chart is interesting to compare for similarities with Eminem’s chart.  Both are Libra Suns, both have Mercury in Scorpio, both have Bucket Shaped Charts.  The Moon is the handle planet in Usher’s chart and Saturn is the handle planet in Eminem’s chart.  Both of these planets represent the parents.  I suspect that Usher wants to Mother everyone around him, or at least wants to turn everyone into his family.  Women are probably very important influences in his life.  And it looks like he has a strong bond with his Mother as she is his business manager.  And Eminem might want to act more as a serious influence who deals with the ideas of Authority through the Saturn handle of his chart.  He may feel that he has a serious message to convey.  There will be ambition and a need to climb over walls to get what he wants. Of course, there will be some sort of issue around parenting, fathering, providing for. And perhaps insecurities surrounding give and take and needing to be in control.

As I said, I’m not very familiar with any of their music.  I think these charts will be interesting to study in the future.  I wonder if it is not easier to become famous at an early age if one is from divorce.  One simply focuses on things outside the family. It seems that the Mothers of all 3 did not remarry. 

What To Do When Mom is Having Violent Sex in the Next Room

A 16-year old girl in Connecticut heard her Mother in the bedroom having sex with a boyfriend.  She thought her Mother was being abused and rounded up a bunch of guy friends who beat the boyfriend.

The Mother had the kids arrested and says the jail time will teach them a Valuable Lesson.  And that is that — they should have knocked on the door to ask if everything was ok before assuming that they should rush in with a bat.  That’s good to know.

Children of D have their own rules of etiquette to follow that haven’t been covered quite yet by Emily Post.  In other words, if an intruder breaks into the house offer the guy Milk & Cookies.  Just because Mom is tied to the bed and screaming her head off it doesn’t mean that she’s being hurt…  geez, everybody knows that… show some respect, will ya?

P.S., it’s very common for Children of D to be intimately aware of their parents’ sex lives.

Weird Children of Divorce – Carrie Prejean

Golden Girl Miss California, Carrie Prejean, has lost her Tiara. That’s what you get when you try to compete with the Tranny’s for “Most Beautiful Girl” title, Sweetheart.  The Gay men are having their way with her. That’s gross.

Prejean lost a chance to win the Miss America (or Miss USA, I don’t know which) Crown by proudly announcing to Gay Blogger and Fat Slob Emcee Perez Hilton that she said she doesn’t believe that Gay People should be allowed to get married.  That makes me first wonder, What the Hell is a Fat Slob like Perez Hilton representing the Gay Community for?  Geez, the minute people even think about getting the right to get married they just start letting themselves go.  Then I think, how can a gorgeous girl like that growing up in a liberal place like California be so narrow minded?  Especially one who is so dependent on Gay Men to make her look like a Queen.

Our Princess, Our Queen, Our Princess, Carrie has lost her Crown.  Apparently she hasn’t been showing up for her Miss California activities and today she received a letter of termination from Donald Trump.  What impresses me is that it appears that the reason why Carrie is no longer appearing is not because she bared her Christian boobies to a photographer way back when, not because she openly spoke her mind in a country which espouses Freedom of Speech, but because the Gays are attacking her childhood.  They couldn’t just drop it.  They dug up her parents’ divorce papers.  Oh yeah, baby, that’s as low as it goes, especially when you hear Carrie’s story.

And so that’s why Carrie’s appearing in this blog.  I can’t put her in the Exemplaries Section and I can’t put her in the Bad Section.  But, remember how I’ve been pondering whether female Children of D tend to get beaten up more by men?  Well, here’s another case.  Once the kid goes through that much heartbreak, that much humiliation, that much cover-up, the sewer just seems to keep looking for an inlet.

At any rate, Carrie’s parents’ divorce seems to have been nasty, really nasty. (or, actually, for California it’s pretty normal).  And it went on for a really, really long time.  Her parents used the custody battle of the kids as a reason to fight with each other for her ENTIRE childhood.  This certainly explains why she clings to  conservative and uptight values with regards to family.  She grew up in Hell. Give her a break.  Let her speak.

According to the San Francisco Examiner

Prejean’s parents divorced when she was around 1 year old.  The Child Custody fights continued until she was at least 12 years old.  The parents maybe, just maybe, stopped humiliating her just as she hit puberty.  How generous and thoughtful. At any rate, every single insult they hurled at each was recorded in court documents and among those were allegations that both the Father and the Step-Father were Gay, I think also the Mother.  Coming from a bad divorce situation myself I can only think, “So What?  That’s normal.  People always say shit like that during divorces and the kids are in the middle of it all.”

You’re Gay!

You’re Gay!

You’re Gay! (generally more derogative wording is used)

That’s normal Divorce banter.  NORMAL.

So, not only are these creepy Gay guys ignorant of what goes on in Divorce Custody battles (narcissists that they tend to be they think it’s all about them) but now they are dredging that Hell up for Prejean to go through all over again.  And all because they are jealous of her and want her title and hips and boobs (and lip gloss).

Prejean’s a Beauty Queen for Christ’s Sake!  That’s a shallow, conservative vision of women’s beauty.  In the Straight World, if you compete in those Pageants you might as well be announcing that you’re a Republican and Newt Gingrich is God.  Apparently the Gay World is just as ignorant about what goes on in Divorced families. You guys are even as far as being equally defective as far as I’m concerned.

As much as I believe that Gays should by given the right to Marriage if they really, really want to, what I’m thinking right now is —  Wow, they’re really mean and petty.  You think straight people are nasty in a divorce court? Just imagine what Perez Hilton would be like.

Oh yeah, and I checked.  Perez Hilton?  We can breathe a big sigh of relief here — not a Child of D.  Perez’s Mommy and Daddy let him sit in bed all day and watch TV and get all spoiled and depressed.  Maybe that’s why the guy has flab where his heart should be.  What the Hell is a jerk like that talking about the sanctity of Marriage for anyway?

Children of Divorce Twice As Likely to be Prescribed Meds for ADD

An ADD Therapist, Jennifer Korestky, gives a link to a study published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal which found that medications prescribed for ADD is twice as likely to be given to kids whose parents are recently divorced.

Koretsky tries to downplay the stress that kids go through in Divorce by promoting theories that ADD is genetic.  But loss of nutrition, reliable schedules, emotional security, finances, loss of time spent splitting up between two families, loss of friends, chugging way too much wisdom concerning relationships and money and betrayal and loss that are well beyond those of peers, in addition to stress of having to watch Mommy and Daddy fight, could also play a part.  That list is a string of irregular grammatical mistakes.  Oh well.

Blogged here:  http://www.experiencingaddvantages.com/2007/06/new_research_on.html.

Journal cited: CMAJ • June 5, 2007; 176 (12). doi:10.1503/cmaj.061458 Author:   Lisa A. Strohschein.

Bad Children of Divorce – Stephen Green, Rapist-Murderer-Soldier

Today there is news that an ex soldier in Iraq has been found guilty of having Murdered a family in order to rape the 14 year old daughter.  The ex-soldier is Stephen Green from Texas.  He and a group of other soldiers had planned the rape.  Green’s murders apparently came as a surprise.  They were stationed in a particularly troublesome spot in the war zone known as The Triangle of Death.  A Washington Post article by Andrew Tilgman tells about his meeting with Green and his group.  It’s called “I came over here because I wanted to kill people.”  Apparently, the reporter didn’t pay attention to Green’s words because he had heard this sort of brute honesty from all the soldiers.  The article alluded to a troublesome childhood so grudgingly I looked to see if Green was a Child of D.  Despite his minor offenses with the law and an angry personality Green was allowed into the military during a time when enlistments were down.

I’ve sort of been watching all this attention on Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder regarding the Iraq War and have wondered if the problem is just now receiving attention or if all the Children of D are enlisting in order to get away from stressful situations and then are buckling under the extra stresses of war.

Green was born on May 2, 1985.  Spent early years in Midland, TX.  Parents divorced but don’t know what age.  Green moved to Seabrook Texas with his Mother.  She remarried when he was around 8 years old.  Reports say that Green had a troubled, angry personality from about Junior High School years onward.  His Mother is said to have “had problems” and was jailed for 6 months in 2000 and he went to live with his Father back in Midland.  He dropped out in 2002 while in the 10th Grade but managed to get his equivalency degree in 2003 from a Community College.  Green was in trouble with the law for minor offenses of smoking, pot, alcohol consumption.  It was noted on the records that he must have had trouble at home because he didn’t list either parent as a contact.  Green lived with his estranged step-father for a while at some point.

Source from The New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/14/us/14private.html

Philip Markoff – Jekyll and Hyde Or Child of Divorce?

Between Apr. 10 and April 16 three women were bound and robbed in Hotel Rooms in Boston, Massachusetts and Rhode Island.  They had all advertised as masseuses on CraigsList.  One of the victims, Julissa Brisman, was shot multiple times and subsequently murdered.  The other two women survived.  23 year old medical student Philip Markoff has been traced to all 3 attacks and is currently being held in jail.  A gay man is also said to have contact with Markoff through an email (news about that is sketchy right now).

The media is going on and on about Markoff’s impending marriage which was to be held in August.   It sounds as if Markoff’s family history is quite strained as well and, although, I can’t find the full picture, this is what I’ve figured out so far.  The information may change.  One thing is certain:  Markoff is a Child of D.

People are blind sided by Markoff’s Double Personality.  (Why are people never blind-sided by a Double Childhood that results from growing up in a Divorce?)  Markoff is described as being very nice, clean cut, sort of nerdy (there’s that nerdy description again applied to a Child of D).

As an aside, I’ve tried to find information about Markoff’s alleged victims’ childhood status to see if they also were from Divorce.  His alleged Murder victim, Julissa Brisman, had the same last name as her Father while her Mother’s last name is given as Guzman so there is a possibility that Julissa’s parents are divorced.  In that case,  it is not surprising that, like Markoff,  Julissa led a double life.  Her friends, apparently, had no idea that she worked as a masseuse.  Children of D grow up as involuntary voyeurs of sorts.  They witness much behavior in their families that can’t be discussed with anyone else due to extreme emotional behaviors, secrets, allegiances, betrayals, loyalities that it is not surprising to see how double lives can manifest later in life. Innocence doesn’t exist for Children of D.  Distorted sense of lack of positive authority figures also is lacking.  In a very few people this experience of childhood into extremely advanced states of consciousness and wisdom.  In others it can cause problems as the child continues to show signs of normalcy to the outside world.  And who knows?  Maybe Markoff (assuming he’s guilty of course) is just a bad egg.

It would be interesting to know whether or not Markoff’s fiancee is from a Divorce or Intact family just for comparison’s sake but she’s going through enough Hell right now and doesn’t need any more scrutiny.

Markoff’s parents were divorced when he was very young.  I don’t have an age.  Right now I just know that it happened before he was 5 years old because that’s when his Mother gave birth to his sister who was his Step-Father’s child.

I’ve read that Markoff’s Father, Richard Markoff, is a Dentist so that probably puts Markoff in a wealthy class on his Father’s side.  I’ve read that his Mother is or was a Casino worker.  That definitely means that his Mother is not wealthy.  If it’s true it paints a much different attitude toward money in that household and that Markoff would have constantly tried to reconcile two great schisms of class into his life (all the while trying to grow up).  Children of D often grow up in two completely different financial classes.  One can pretty accurately assume that the poor parent expresses great resentment over the other parent’s financial status.  Even if that doesn’t happen, the child is a witness who is stuck in between.  This can create detachment and just plain old weird behavior.

Markoff has an older brother, Jon, from his parents’ marriage.  It seems that Jon is his closest relative. News reports showed that the Brother spent the most time visiting with Markoff in jail.  Siblings in Divorce often have to take over as supports.   One might imagine that Markoff’s parents probably can’t stand each other and are adding to the tension for Markoff.  Anybody who has endured bringing both parents together for family “celebrations” like graduations and weddings knows how tense those situations are.  Imagine if you’ve just been stuck in jail for murder and need emotional support from self-absorbed parents.  At any rate, the Rich Dentist Father is probably so tired of hearing from the Mother about financial support problems that he’s not about to help his kid out here (my assumption about situation which is hopefully wrong).

Both of Markoff’s parents reportedly have remarried which means that Markoff was blessed with Step-Parents on both sides.  Maintaining a sweet, nerdy disposition was probably Markoff’s greatest survival tool during childhood.  He made everyone comfortable and was well liked for never making a fuss.

Markoff’s older brother reportedly moved in with his Father and Wife while Markoff lived with his Mother and her Husband.  Don’t know what age.

When the oldest child moves out this can possibly show a couple of things.  Who knows if they apply in Markoff’s case.  First thing to think about is that the household that the only child is leaving is problematic.  Second, the younger sibling will go through feelings of rejection, loneliness and grief over having been left behind.  There could have been money problems, addictions, gambling, lack of compatibility.

By Age 5, Markoff had a younger half-sister through his Mother and Step-Father.  So there are birth order changes as is typical of step-families.

Markoff’s Mother is said to have split from his Step-Father four years ago.  Her last name at the time was Carroll.  I heard on a News Cast that her current last name is Haines so perhaps she has remarried or perhaps the media just couldn’t get the all the family mish-mash information straight.

Either way, it looks right now as if Markoff’s Mother’s 2d divorce would have occurred in 2005.  This is the same year that Markoff is said to have met his Fiancee.  I believe he would have been around 19 years old.

Source:  http://www.boston.com/news/local/breaking_news/2009/04/alleged_craigsl.html#commentshttp://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2009/04/26/2009-04-26_suspect_and_victim_led_secret_lives_med_student_gambled__actress_gave_massages.html?page=0