Spoiled Children of Divorce

“May die 2day”

Taboo subject here.  Even more forbidden than trying to seek help about how to deal with abusive step-parents.

This article is about a Mother who couldn’t get food stamps to feed her 2 children.  During an almost 7 hour stand off at the Welfare Office in Laredo, Texas, Rachel Grimmer’s 12-year old daughter posted a few frightening messages on her Facebook account about what she was going through as Mommy waves her gun around in despair.  At one point, she says she’s bored.  Guess perhaps she grew up listening to threatening rants.

At around midnight the Mother shot her two children, the 12 year old daughter and the 10 year old son in the head.  They have survived but are both in critical condition.  Ms. Grimmer then shot and killed herself.  I guess the welfare office supervisor wasn’t harmed.

Obviously, the Social Worker could have used some training.  He’s obviously telling lies all over the place about what was done to help.  And there are obviously some racial issues going on here.

The kid in this situation doesn’t ask for help, probably would resist it if it were offered, and it won’t be offered anyway because family, friends, and psychoblabbers  can’t stand the drama or even actually are amused by it.

The article tries to make sense out of the relationship between this family and the welfare system and it can’t.  It’s so unbelievable it sounds like Alice falling down the rabbit hole.

This brings up a lot of issues.  But, for right now,  I pray that those kids will recover.

Here’s a good article from Australia about Filicide.  That’s people who kill their children.  Talks about connection with Divorce.  And the tendency for everyone around, friends, family, therapists, etc., to go into denial, or at least do nothing.   The grandmother wrote back on Facebook to her granddaughter that she was “there for you.”   She could have at least told the kid to take her brother and go hide or to fake a convulsion to distract the adults.

“Mental Health, Filicide, Parental Separation and Divorce:  The need for early intervention and a better coordinated approach.” by Dr. Daniell Tyson and Prof. Thea Brown.

EDIT added December 28, 2011:  Both of Rachel Grimmer’s children died within 2 days of the shooting.  May they Rest in Peace.

Dr. Lawrence A. Kurdek
January 19, 2008, 6:34 pm
Filed under: Astrology stuff, Books, Resources

Here’s a link to an article about “The Seven Year Itch” in Marriage. http://www.apa.org/releases/marriage.html.

It’s written by Psychologist Dr. Lawrence A. Kurdek who is the guy who found out that children take a big toll on the quality of their parent’s divorce. He studied newlyweds through their first 10 years of Marriage and found that there were declines in the Marriage right after the “Honeymoon is over” phase which comes early on. And then once again after about 8 years which he equates with the 7 year itch phase.

This is interesting to think about regarding astrology. In astrology there’s a big difference between 7 years which is associated with Moon (Family, Feelings), Saturn, (Reputation, Responsibility, Burdens) and Uranus (Divorce, Rebellion, Innovation) and the 8 Year Period which is associated with Sun (Ego, Will, Children, Fun) and Venus (Marriage, Partner, Family). Once one struggles with the issues of the 7 year period one just wants to move right into the Sun-Venus Fun Zone aspect I guess and tosses everything else aside.

Kurdek has written an article called “Children’s Perceptions of Their Divorce.” J.ofDiv. Vol. 3 #3 (10/20/88) which I’d love to read.

DVD on Divorce and Stepfamilies – Resource List
January 17, 2008, 11:30 pm
Filed under: Resources, Stepfamilies, Websites

Ronald McDonald House Charities has published a DVD of a PBS show about Stepfamilies called Divorce & Stepfamilies:  Breaking Apart & Coming Together.

I found it at the Public Library.  If interested it can always be obtained from the Library through Interlibrary Loan.

Some Resources listed on the Information Sheet:

Covenant House Nineline:  800 999-9999

Boys and Girls Town Hotline:  800-448-3000

Childhelp:  800-422-4453

Stepfamily Association of America:  800-735-0329  // http://www.saafamilies.org

The Children’s Rights Council:  301-559-3120 // http://www.vix.com/crc

It’s My Life:  Dealing With Divorce:  pbskids.org/itsmylife/family/divorce

In the Mix:  Divorce & Stepfamilies Program:  inthemix.org/divorce_index.html