Spoiled Children of Divorce


Exemplary Children of Divorce – Michael Bowen

Was wondering if the current Occupy Wall Street phenomenon is a product of Children of Divorce.  Are most of those people from Divorce or from Intact families.  Sorry, had to ask, nobody else could care less.  And  I guess we’ll never know.

I read that it was initially created by 2 ad executive guys up in Canada with a poster of a ballerina dancing on a Bull.  Of course, there was already a desire set in motion by the overthrow of Dictators of the Middle East beginning with Egypt.  That’s all the information I care to research on that topic.

Since I’m probably too old to understand what’s going on out there I did begin to look up a couple of wiki articles about the Flower Child movement.  Interesting that so many of the Arab Dictators held power for about 40 years which means that they came into power right as the U.S. was giving its power up to the hippies.

Most of the Hippies were probably from Intact families just because they grew up in the “ideal homes” of the 50s and because they were rebelling against their boring, stable childhoods full of irritable people.  That’s just my take on things, of course, which may diverge from reality.  I think this because Children of Divorce don’t really need to question authority much. We probably weren’t raised by authoritarians (and that’s a good thing, especially if you don’t mind feeling a little unsafe).

What I did notice is that one of the initiators of the Flower Power movement was a painter named Michael Bowen.  Details of Bowen’s childhood on Wikipedia and other sites say that his father was a rich dentist in Beverly Hills.  So Bowen was from an affluent family.  Another stand out detail said that his Mother’s lover was a gangster who was responsible for bringing Bowen to San Francisco for the first time when he was a kid.

There is no mention of parental divorce in Michael Bowen’s biographies, but a biography on his Father’s obituary says that he had divorced Bowen’s Mother in 1944.  This means that Bowen would have been about 7 or 8 years old when his parent’s divorced.

Michael Bowen’s obituary also says that he died of complications from childhood polio.  There’s no mention of having been sick as a child in the biographies.  Children with serious illnesses and who are from divorce probably don’t want to attract much attention to their neediness because they know they won’t get their needs met if they become a burden.  At any rate, it looks as if the LSD fixed whatever ailed him.

Michael Bowen’s parents seem to have been some pretty wild characters so it makes sense that Bowen grew up to not only be an artist but also to have created the first gathering of the Flower Children in San Francisco.  His Father had worked for a gangster in Chicago before becoming a dentist.  When he moved to Los Angeles he met Bing Crosby and became the Dentist who started capping all the Movie Stars’ teeth.  He is said to have created “The Hollywood Smile.”

Michael Bowen’s Mother, Grace, dated the gangster, Benjamin Bugsy Siegel who built the Flamingo Hotel in Las Vegas.

So, this family was responsible for a whole lot of what the West Coast became famous for if any or all of this information is anywhere near accurate.

The first Love In or Be-In happened on Jan. 14, 1967.  It appears that Bowen made it through a good art school so perhaps he finished college.  I don’t know if he had siblings.  Bowen married 3 times and had two sons and two daughters.



Exemplary Children of Divorce – Oliver Stone

It’s amazing how many Children of Divorce, the guys at any rate, grew up to become famous movie Directors.

This morning I was listening to the NPR radio station in my area and heard a very interesting interview with Oliver Stone.  He was talking about his life as well as his movies.  And Michael Krasney, the interviewer actually asked him to speak about his parents’ divorce. (awesome!, and of course Stone couldn’t really find the words to discuss it.)

Stone was born into comfort in New York and Connecticut. His Father was a stockbroker.  Wikipedia says that his parents divorced when Stone was 15 because his Father tended to end up having affairs with family friends.  Stone had a strong relationship with his  father, but his Mother was absent much of the time.  In the interview Stone says that he was sent to boarding school when he was 14 and this in connection with the divorce was a time of great loss.  Can’t remember his exact words because I was driving while listening to the interview.

I suppose that growing up in divorce trauma not only gives one a heightened of how to tell a story emotionally but to have an extra layer of understanding about human motivations.  One also has the freedom, in a sense, to devote one’s time to something outside of family and relationships.  Movie sets probably become like little families that disperse quickly.

Stone graduated from the boarding school and was accepted at Yale but dropped out after a year.  According to one article he decided to reinvent himself and went to Asia.  Religion appears to have played a big part in Stone’s life.  His Father was Jewish, his Mother was Catholic and they decided to raise him Episcopalian.  That’s nuts of course.  Stone has studied Buddhism for most of his adult life.

Stone fought in the Vietnam War and has made 3 movies about this experience.  The most famous is Platoon.

It seems to be a very positive survival step when Children of Divorce decide to completely reinvent themselves soon after leaving home around Age 18 or 19.  Changing one’s name, throwing one’s self into a career (one that doesn’t require College), seeking out a new religion and a better way of life than one has been brought up in is a big potential gift that one can take from this upbringing. Uranus rules Divorce so those who can enjoy Uranian lifestyles perhaps do better than those who don’t.

In the interview, Stone talks about his problems with addiction and his mental health issues as an adult.

He discusses the motives behind choosing many of the themes for his movies.  One can sense that being a witness to the reality behind one’s parents’ wedded bliss can really trigger the seeker in all of us.   Stone  seeks to find the real truth.  Political fraud.  Violence.  What really happens in history outside what one reads from textbooks and news reports.  Okay, okay, and there’s a lot of dramatization, exaggeration, and conspiracy theory there.  And those last reasons are what sell his movies.

Stone is on his third marriage.  He has two sons from his second marriage and has a daughter with his third and current wife.  Stone himself was an only child.



Suicide Rate of War Veterans, Males Who Grew Up in Divorce, and some Astrology
April 21, 2011, 1:31 am
Filed under: Astrology stuff, Authority, Long Term Fallout, Military, PTSD, Suicide, Vietnam

Vietnam War Veterans have approximately the same level of suicide rate at men who grow up in Divorce.  (Article linked to below).  They are three times as likely as the general population to try to commit suicide.  Suicide rates for Veterans of the current Iraq and Afghanistan wars are expected to be even higher.  I suspect that this might be because so many are from divorced families and are already traumatized from earlier life experiences, but, of course, am making an assumption here.

Divorce.  The only social phenomena in American society that hasn’t been probed, prodded, picked at and tabulated for statistical purposes by the sciences or the media or the government.

Just read about a Veteran from Vietnam who committed suicide.  He was very well liked for his activism on trying to fight his own PTSD.  Yet he couldn’t make it through his pain.  The stories of what he went through in war are really horrifying.  I did notice that he left behind two families so figure he’s from divorce.  I’m not mentioning his name because I know his family is already suffering.  Chiron must take a very significant place in his natal chart, that’s for sure.

Here are some Statistics on recent figures coming out of the current wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.  The article says that more soldiers are killing themselves than are dying abroad :

Statistics obtained by FoxNews.com show the suicide rate of Iraq and Afghanistan veterans in fiscal year 2008 — the most recent data available — was 38.2 deaths per 100,000 individuals, or more than 10 deaths higher than the previous year. In fiscal year 2003, the figure was 23.9 deaths, before reaching a high of 40.3 deaths in 2004.

This article that says that these soldiers tend to kill themselves when they hit their late 20s. Astrology has some interesting explanations for that so I’m going to share it here.

First thing to look at are the soldiers’ birth dates.  I don’t have that information, of course.  But, if the soldiers who are currently suffering from this “epidemic” are all in their late 20s then this means that they were born during the early 1980s.

Because these soldiers seem to hit the wall when they hit  their late 20s it seems that there are two planetary cycles that are triggering this behavior.  These are the Secondary Progressed Lunar Return and the Saturn Return which occur between Ages 27 and 30.  These just happen to be the two planets which often rule Depression as well.  When a person completes a cycle, or even a part of a cycle, the person is coming to grips with the energies of that particular planet in his own chart.

The first Saturn Return, occurs around age 29.   There are actually two major cycles that are ending and beginning at this time.  The Saturn Return occurs roughly around Age 29 and is usually part of a 3 stage conjunction with the natal Saturn placement.  The Progressed Lunar Return occurs about a year before that age around Age 27-28.  The Moon phase might actually be more connected with the problems that occur at this age as it comes up in Suicide charts often.

These two planets  rule opposite ends of the same pole which correspond on the Calendar to the beginnings of Summer and Winter.  In Astrology these poles rule family, parenting, career and social status.  The planets which rule these poles, Moon and Saturn, rule the two parents, the Mother and the Father and also areas of unconditional and conditional love in life.  They are connected with making major commitments in life which want to build a safe foundation on which to live.  Because of this they show an individual’s attitudes towards Tradition.

They may not respond well to therapies such as talk or medication, however, because they relate to action and “doing”.  Emotionally they can be reticent and quiet, have deep insecurities about being needy, tend to want to take control and have a fear of failure.  Pluto is also related to wanting control but he’s interesting.  Pluto will confront the tension.  Lots of therapists have a strong Pluto because they like to see if they can escort people through deep emotional waters.

Trauma is created when things happen to an individual and he loses his sense of control over his environment.  I don’t have enough data to make a conclusion but so far I think I am finding that children who go through their parents’ divorces under the influence of either of these two planets are most likely to suffer trauma from it.  I tend to think it’s best to avoid the ages when children are going through their first squares and oppositions of these planets and wonder if the Veterans who are part of the suicide epidemic also have a higher statistic of having gone through parental divorce.

A person will go through his first Secondary Progressed Lunar Return about a year earlier than the Saturn Return when he is around Age 27-28.  This isn’t a transit of the Moon but is related to progressions which are abstracts points calculated mathematically.  The secondary progressed Moon coincides with what is often known in the Rock Music industry as “The 27 Club.”  These are Rock Stars like Janis Joplin and Kurt Cobain who died young, all at age 27.

The Moon will represent one’s emotional neediness.  This phase often occurs after an individual has gone through a sort of free and easy time after the Jupiter Return at around Age 23, the Neptune and Uranus trines.  All these planets are related to experimentation and freedom and boundlessness and social awareness.  Trines are “easy” aspects so this offers an interesting insight into what many people are going through at this age developmentally.  These transits seem to coincide with what is mentioned in the linked article with soldiers who come home and begin to live wild lifestyles.  They become reckless and take risks.

The Moon Return cycle then comes along and begins to feel a sense of meaninglessness.  This is basically a good thing in a healthy life.  It means that a person will withdraw for a while in order to gain personal understanding of what all this means to him in relation to his own personal development and his own comfort level in  in life.  This phase ought to clear the individual to go through his/her Saturn Return, which is coming up in about a year.  The Saturn Return often asks a person to set a new Goal or Boundary.  The upcoming Saturn Cycle often asks that a new major goal be set.  Marriage, Career, Family.

Many individuals don’t feel anything exceptional or different in this phase, by the way.  It always depends on the individual chart and how it reacts to particular situations.  I’m discussing Suicidal behaviors here.  Many people either have not been through major trauma, or have personalities or upbringings which give them security to fall back on in difficult times, or have very resilient personalities.

Just as the Moon physically reflects the light of the Sun the astrological Moon is related to Reflection, Imagination, and understanding one’s personal needs. A phase of depression is typical and is mostly healthy if allowed to exist as a time of introspection, for planting new seeds that will grow.   This phase could be said to be a time when a person reflects back on what he’s experienced and where he’s from in order to get back in touch with himself; his comfort level in life in order to develop some order out of what he has learned and observed in the Jupiter, Uranus and Neptune cycle transits.  We can call those the party cycle transits or social awakenings or whatever those planets mean to each individual.

Life is supposed to cycle back and forth between all these different energies so we can grow and develop all kinds of understandings.

The Moon rules Long Term Memory so the progressed Lunar Return cycle will probably bring up a lot of memories and a need to reconnect with the past.  The Moon rules the sign of Cancer which is a tenacious sign, clingy at times.  Traumatic memories would be difficult to overcome at this age. So, through the Astrology,  it makes sense that Veterans can be more vulnerable at this age.

(This could also resurface at the second Progressed Lunar Returns which occur around Age 53.  Often Astrologers say that the second Saturn Return which comes around Age 58-59 doesn’t pack as harsh a punch as the first one does.  I don’t know.  It would be interesting to ask the Vietnam Vets at this point if there’s anything to this.)

One can easily become “stuck” in these memories, though. I suspect that Veteran volunteers might be strong Lunar and Saturn personalities to begin with, types who protective of their country.  So this might be a more difficult time for those types as it is.  I might also expect that, in a different vein, Vietnam Veterans who were drafted against their wills have stronger connections with Mars and Pluto (willfulness) and Uranus (friends and groups) problems.  Uranus hit their generation very hard as  they were rejected by their peers and communities when they returned home.  Uranus rules rebellion against social order which is ruled by Saturn.

Both the Moon and Saturn want and need a sense of order and acceptance that is unspoken.  They have a natural drive to contain chaos.  This can be very creative.  During the earlier Jupiter, Uranus and Neptune cycle transits their lives may have become too chaotic.   Once they hit the Moon and Saturn phases they may not be able to turn down the volume so to speak and to adjust to these new demands.  Since Moon and Saturn are related to family, I suspect that strong family caring and guidance is a big need at this time if there is a problem.  But, Moon and Saturn generally can’t ask for the help.  Or they think of themselves as the ones who do for others.  And, as I said, releasing anything emotional is very difficult at this time.

Divorce, as I’ve said before is often associated with Uranus and Pluto and Mars and Venus and maybe also Neptune.  Moon and Saturn are the least welcome inhabitants of a Divorced Home.  Children of Divorce generally grow up acting more as a friend to their parents, or they develop independent personalities (or manipulative ones) in order to survive. Everyone will love them when they return home but they probably aren’t going to have the sense to drop everything in order to help them if they are really in trouble.  Divorced parents tend to see their children more as responsibilities, or friends, or manipulators, than their married counterparts do.   And, of course, when Saturn rolls around one wants to say that one is taking responsibility for one’s fate.  If there are feelings of not being able to handle fears and failures, the individual will not be able to move on in a healthy way.

The Saturn Return is often considered the big heavy.  There are great interpretations out there which explain how this entire 29 year cycle unfolds in an individual’s life which are great to look in to.  Liz Greene wrote the classic Saturn:  A New Look at an Old Devil which is landmark in showing how the “heavy” can be used to positively build one’s life instead of getting depressed by it.  Saturn rules discipline, structure and restriction.  He’s the guy who makes the rules.  Where the Moon represents the Mother who loves and forgives all, Saturn rules the traditional role of the Father who teaches tough decision making and personal responsibility. (These days the interpretations of these planets are much looser and often the Mother is allowed to be the Saturn type and the Father the Lunar type.)

This can be a tough time for many people because often it will bring a difficult decision that has to be made.  One’s maturity is tested as one has to cut off away from a difficult situation and live with the consequences.    Saturn is emotionally cold aspect related to business and social status so it’s easy to see it’s role in Suicide where an individual might feel that he is ending a losing battle.  That’s where Astrology becomes such a positive influence because it recognizes that these are all just phases of life that blend into other phases.  Nothing is permanent, just a learning experience and a challenge.

In its negative form Saturn can instill insecurities. One is aware of his status and accomplishments and compares him self to others.  He may feel that he doesn’t stand up to the rest.  Saturn also rules guilt.  It rules the idea of karma and that what one puts out one receives back.  Saturn doesn’t express his emotions easily so if a person is struggling with feelings at this time he might feel more lonely.  Saturn doesn’t ask for help.  Often the problems that he faces are solved by allowing time to pass.

Saturn likes to build a solid foundation that won’t fall apart.  At any rate, Saturn likes things to follow in rational orders. These are the things that a healthy person grapples with at this age.  Saturn feels good about himself if he can accomplish something.  So someone who is dealing with PTSD might be extra hard on himself for doing what he thinks he ought to be doing.  Saturn can be a harsh judge so it’s necessary to remind these folks to soften their serious sides.

To repeat, the Moon is related to Reflection, Mood and Interior thinking.  This Return Phase is a very important emotional step to pass through before the Saturn Return as it helps a person to clear out his interior problems before trying to move on to the exterior Saturnian problems.  Saturn represents Achievement and Maturity.   It  represents feelings of guilt, insecurities.  Both are connected with Depression.  They are also connected with family, tradition, government.  There are control issues with these two planets which can actually lead to compensating through reckless behavior and super macho feelings. There’s a tough Gal/Guy to both of these planets when they are on the defensive — and they are on the defensive a whole lot of the time.

What I’m curious about regarding divorce, is whether or not there is a high percentage of suicides that come from divorced families.  It is generally known, I believe, that a person who has suffered one trauma will likely be weaker in dealing with a second trauma or third, down the line.  Whether a person thinks of his parents’ divorce as a traumatic experience I leave to each individual to assess.  I know that this is considered “the pity party” by society which I find totally disgusting but what do I know.

The Secondary Progressed Lunar Return and Saturn cycles have quarter and half partial cycles which come across very clearly in child development.  These come through in child development studies often as big markers in maturity.

The first squares occur roughly between the Ages of 6 and 8 years old.  Squares are difficult because, very simply put, they present “challenges.”

The first oppositions occur roughly between Ages 12.5 and 14 years old. Oppositions are considered difficult because, simply put, they present “oppositions” “need for balances” “sense of not being enough.”

From what I’ve noticed in my research these are extremely difficult ages for children to go through the split of a family because these are the ages when they are partially internalizing what family is, or at least what the traditional role of family is.  And what I’m looking for is if the later parts of these phases will bring back the feelings of repressed trauma that didn’t heal after the first event.  I would then be curious to know if these Veterans had not only gone through divorce, but had gone through it at these particular stages.  Don’t really have any ability to conduct that research.

So, I probably haven’t explained this clearly.  I wish to just put my two cents out there to anyone who might be suffering at this age to realize that you need to let this phase pass.  You need to admit that you don’t feel safe.  You need to respect that you have a need for which there is no real help.  And you need to take care of yourself really well in a practical sense.  Eat right, exercise, sleep, smile, help the old lady walk across the street.  Let this pass through you.  There won’t be a lot of major cycles for a while after this one.  There’s a new Cycle related to the Sun coming up at age 33.  The Sun is related to self expression and vitality so it’s a lot to look forward to.  This is followed by a Nodal Return cycle at around Age 36-37 when you come back into contact with a sense of a new life purpose.

Oh, and it’s also good that both Moon and Saturn are strongly connected with humor.  Moon is the zany style of humor and self-effacing humor, and Saturn is related to Dry Sense of Humor.  They aren’t just morbid, dark energies.  Again, I’m talking about them in relation to these Veterans who I hope will find different solutions for their lives.

copyright 2011 all rights reserved



Exemplary Children of Divorce – Natasha Trethewey

Pulitzer Prizewinning Poetess Natasha Trethewey is a Child of Divorce.  I heard her interviewed on the NPR Program Fresh Air yesterday.

I was first attracted to the interview because I couldn’t believe what amazingly long sentences Trethewey can spin.  She can assemble more thoughts into a single sentence in a way that still makes sense than anyone I’ve ever heard.  So it made sense that she’s a poet. Her personal story is even more amazing.

Trethewey won the Pulitzer for her collection of poems called Native Guard.  Some of these poems are about her Mother who was murdered by her Step-Father when Trethewey was 19 years old.  Trethewey’s younger brother witnessed the murder when he was 11 (or 12) years old.  (Sorry I was listening while driving in the car and I can’t remember the details really well).

Trethewey was born in Mississippi. Her parents divorced at some point before Trethewey started grade school.  She lived with her Mother in Georgia and spent Summers in New Orleans with her Father and with her Grandmother in  Mississippi.

Her new book is about how her family was affected by Hurricane Katrina.  Her Brother was destroyed financially and, out of desperation, turned to dealing drugs.   It turns out that he was arrested for possession of Cocaine the same day that Trethewey was awarded the Pulitzer.  Have to sit down with this astrology chart at some point in the future when I can be very very quiet…  This date will be interesting to look at from an astrological point of view as it was 10 days before Trethewey’s 41st Birthday.  By coincidence, Trethewey’s Mother was killed 10 days before her (the Mother’s) 41st Birthday as well.  It’s amazing to hear a very articulate poet discuss the complicated and confusing feelings and methods of coping with this amount of tragedy.  I sure would like to hear her ideas, if any, about her parents’ divorce.  I’m a little slow at reading poetry but I’ll be looking for both books.  The new book is called Beyond Katrina.

Trethewey is bi-racial.  Her Mother was an African American Social Worker and her Father is a White College Professor.  Her Step-Father (don’t know race, etc) was a Vietnam Veteran and worked for an Air Conditioning and Heating Company.  The story about what Trethewey’s brother had to go through is unbelievable.  As I said he was 11 or 12 years old at the time of the murder.  His parents had already divorced and I don’t know what age he was at that point.