Spoiled Children of Divorce

“War of the Roses”
December 4, 2007, 4:56 am
Filed under: Bad Step-Parent Stories, Movies About Growing Up in Divorce | Tags: , ,

Since it’s the “Season of 2 Christmas Presents” I’ll bring up a movie that was made in 1989 about the material side of Divorce. It’s called War of the Roses starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner as a couple who have established their life, kids are grown and off at College, and the wife gets to the point where she can’t stand everything about the husband. They decide to Divorce but neither wants to give up the house. They end up fighting to the Death over the possessions. This is supposed to be a Black Comedy, heavily exaggerated, sort of a moral tale of how not to act. I actually found it to be a pretty accurate description of how intense the fighting gets. I’ve sort of always wondered if the guy who wrote the story didn’t know my parents…

The kids aren’t around to witness the fighting because they’re grown and off at College. I suppose the idea is that the couple would not have behaved the way they did if the kids were not at home. This, of course, is total b.s. I’ve got the stories. I still feel like it’s not safe to talk about them, but trust me I do have the stories.

They say that kids whose parents divorce when they are very young often don’t feel the effects of the divorce. Probably this is true. At least they don’t know the difference. At that point, the parents haven’t built up any of the material wealth that can come with Marriage in some cases so once the emotional stuff dies down the fighting ends. When possessions and lawyers enter the picture the stuff drags on for years.

I got caught in one of these situations. When my friend in Middle School came over to my house after school her mother would come over to pick her up and would spend more and more time at our house. This woman was lonely because her Country Club membership had been cancelled by the wives who got tired of watching her flirt with their husbands. She eventually walked off with my Father. I found out later that my friend had been so jealous of our house that she had colluded with her mother to make this happen. My Father had his business and his clothes but left with nothing else from the house. When he died he left nothing to my Brother and I because he was so angry about this. My ex-best-friend from Middle School will probably inherit a Million $ from him. Her Mother is so evil I suspect she may never die.

Over the years I have met exactly three people, all women for some reason, whose Parents met through their friends. One woman said she liked having her best friend for a sister. One woman didn’t seem to have any thoughts about it at all. The third woman was like me. She felt used and betrayed and didn’t trust easily as a consequence.

“Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters”
November 30, 2007, 7:00 am
Filed under: Books | Tags: , , , ,

Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters is a fun and interesting book written by two psychologists Alan S. Miller & Satoshi Kanazawa which tries to explains differences in people. Here are some comments about Divorce:

1.  Having sons reduces the likelihood of divorce, especially in wealthy families.  A couple of different reasons are offered such as the Sons need a Father figure and Wealth passes down through families.  I don’t think anyone mentioned that boys are simply more valued and are also often a handful to deal with from a behavioral point of view.

2.  Girls of divorced parents experience puberty earlier, especially if the divorced happens before they are five.  Again a couple of different reasons are offered but nobody mentions that kids in divorced families are exposed to sex a lot earlier and often listen to their parent’s relationship struggles.  Kids from divorced families tend to know their astrological charts a lot earlier too.  This wasn’t mentioned in the book but I just thought I would mention it because I see it as being a positive thing.

3.  Deadbeat Dads.  In 1991 statistics, 25 percent of mothers received no child support from the fathers.  52 percent said that they only received a portion of the support that was decided by the court.