Filed under: Addiction - Children, Astrology stuff, creativity, Exemplary Children of Divorce, Healing, Health, Long Term Fallout, Parents and their Dates
Tom Arnold maybe isn’t considered the most successful entertainer in Hollywood but he is to be commended for speaking out about his personal life. I saw him in an interview this past week talking about his childhood. His parents divorced when he was 4 years old and his Mother married and divorced 7 times. He has begun performing in a new show in which he looks at these parts of his life through humor.
Arnold’s first marriage was to Roseanne Barr and was highly publicized as probably the most dysfunctional relationship in Hollywood in the 1990s. He has since married 3 times and is still married to his 4th wife. I became interested in seeing if I could notice anything in particular related to his astrological cycles which would play out in his successive marriages and found some pretty interesting stuff.
In the interview, Arnold discussed seeing the influence of a 4 year cycle in his relationships. He was 4 years old when his parents split and his first 3 marriages lasted 4 years each. He’s been married to his 4th wife for what looks like 2 years so far so hopefully he will have broken this cycle. I wonder if he likes to play golf, I think they shout out the word “Four” a lot although I don’t know what it means.
At Age 4 there are multiple cyclic influences. I’ve mentioned before that it seems that were more children from this age group whose charts I have studied than any other. Since I still have such a small selection of charts to look at this may not mean anything. But, it sort of does seem that whatever age of development, psychologically or astrologically that children are at helps them to become successful later in life if they go through their parents’ divorce at this age. I seldom see charts of successful people who come from such disruptive childhoods. Often multiple marriages by a parent guarantees that the child will not become famous for whatever reason.
Between the Ages of 3 and 4 children go through the first returns of many of the asteroids which are held between the orbit of Mars and Jupiter. The ones I’m looking are the bigger ones. Then also we look at the first return of Ceres. These generally describe various female energies in a person. Ceres is the nurturer. Pallas represents Divine Wisdom. Juno represents the First Wife. Vesta represents the Home Fires. I think that happens earliest in the 3d year. Should look it up but I’m too lazy. Tom Arnold has a conjunction of Pallas to Juno in Libra, the sign of Marriage. So the asteroids show that he could possibly spend a lot of time looking at the institution of marriage in some way. Juno was Zeus’ wife and Zeus was a philanderer. And Pallas Athene was born out of her Father’s head and never had a Mother and never married because she was very, very, very, very smart. So one can see that viewing the Institution of marriage can often bring up complex thought processes regarding such issues.
The only major planetary return that occurs at Age 4 is the second Mars Return. That shows completion of a second cycle of mastery in all things Marsian which basically means that Mom and Dad made it through the toddler phase without killing the child.
I focused on the partial Jupiter cycle phase at this age when studying this age group. This is just after the time of the first Jupiter trine to itself. You can try to read what I wrote wherever it is. Someone hacked into all that stuff and changed everything because I’m being gang stalked by illegal aliens who are learning how to use computers. So, in addition to my laziness about editing and inability to express myself, someone else edited according to however people in India and Mexico lingo. Jupiter represents international relations so I guess it’s all relevant in this case. The trine phase is a time of ease. Children at Age 3 when the first Jupiter square occurs are learning vocabulary words at a very rapid pace (Jupiter rules abundance, fast growth, law, religion, publishing, and opinions) and by the time they are turning 4 they are feeling accomplished in these areas and are talking trash out of their little potties mouths. This is why Jupiter is often connected with humor and openmindedness which makes sense that a comedian would have strong Jupiter influence in his chart.
In Tom Arnold’s case he’s got a very strong Jupiter influence. Jupiter rules his first chart which means that it rules his entire chart. It is also in conjunction with his Ascendant. It is also opposing Mars in the 7th House of Relationships. So one can see that age 4 a huge part of Arnold’s personality was forming just as he was experiencing the trauma of his parents’ relationship falling apart. 4 year cycles would be a huge influence in his life no matter what, but in this case they are hooked in with emotional trauma which relates his own relationships (H1 and H7) with his parents’ divorce. Mars and Jupiter literally describe the freedom and happiness and playfulness and lack of self consciousness of childhood. They are related to overdoing things and not knowing when to stop.
Oh yeah, and Jupiter is in conjunction with Ceres (Demeter) in Arnold’s chart. Ceres describes one’s ability to nurture. She also represents farming. Pretty interesting that Arnold is from Iowa and worked on a pig farm. He describes how he was very good at killing pigs, was even given a nickname, can’t remember what it was. That’s the Mars-Jupiter influence. And he describes how psychically damaging it was to have to do his job. That’s the Ceres in empathetic H12 influence. The rest of Arnold’s chart shows a lot of insecurities that conflict but also balance out this energy. He has Saturn in the first house which squares Mercury and Venus. That puts a damper on some impulsiveness.
I looked at Arnold’s Divorces to see if they hooked in at all with his Jupiter Cycles in order to see if this works for predictive purposes. The Jupiter Cycle is roughly 11-12 years long. Jupiter takes about one year to pass through one sign. Wikipedia gives the date by year of the divorces so I looked at the charts of Arnold’s Solar Returns. In other words I don’t have correct placements for Jupiter during those years but perhaps see what was working for Arnold’s ego (i.e. Sun) during that year). There does often seem to be some sort of hook up, but, again, I don’t have a lot to go on.
Arnold began stand up comedy at Age 23. This would have been around the time of his 2d Jupiter Return.
First divorce from Roseanne Barr was in 1994. This would have been around the time of his 3d Jupiter Return.
Second divorce was in 1999. This would have been the 3d Jupiter Return of where Jupiter was when Arnold turned 4, right around the time of his parents’ divorce.
Third divorce was in 2008. This might not be accurate as Wikipedia says that he was married in 2002 and that would mean that his 3d marriage lasted 6 years. This could possibly correspond with a Jupiter Opposition, but don’t know so won’t say much about it.
The asteroids also show some interesting correspondences but this post would be ten times longer and I’m worried about what the Mexicans are sticking in the air vents of my car right now.
Filed under: ADD, Astrology stuff, Guilt, Health, Nutrition, poverty, Uncategorized
The study of Nutrition would probably help children of divorce more than any other. The connection between “meal time” is often the one subject which connects family members more than any other. There are a whole lot of issues which can come up concerning food when there is a divorce. The physical harm that is done to a child by being fed irregular meals of inferior quality is the first issue. There are social issues that crop up as well is a child is not fed and allowed to interact in mealtime. Within the home this will just develop as the usual, but once a child begins to make friends with children who come from normal homes the child might feel neglected or ashamed or lesser than. There are also basic psychological damages that can occur. The stress of having one’s weekly visit with Daddy dominated by his new date while Mommy sits at home feeling left out is probably a typical stress activity for some. It was for me at least.
Money with which to buy food becomes a problem. Children are exposed to parents who are totaling up how much they need in order to buy food each month.
If there is a loss of income on either parents’ side this can be a source of great stress. In my family the money always went first for alcohol and cigarettes. What was left would go for food. I remember my step-sister opening the empty refrigerator and screaming. Our parents would still be asleep at 11:00 am. Older children will often complain about the problem openly. Younger children will probably feel guilt for having needs which obviously won’t be filled through normal channels. Behaviors have to be developed in order to get fed. I became Anorexic so I stopped needing food. Meal times in my family were so heavily connected with Alcoholism I figure I would have had problems anyway, but the divorce made the situation much worse. I also became the one who went with my Mother to the grocery store and helped her with the budget. Sometimes her hands would shake so much writing the check that I would have to sign for her.
Issues of priorities that have been set within families concerning who is responsible for what duties can become an issue. In conservative families where women do the cooking there will be issues. I remember my older brother going through his bad adolescence screaming at me to stop doing homework in order to cook the dinner because girls do the cooking. In my family now, the women become stressed about cooking that the men do practically all of it, by the way.
I picked up an old collection of essays and lectures from 1981-82 about Nutrition from a library sale. It’s interesting to see all the studies which have been done on child development and nutrition. Researchers found that motor skills are heavily affected in children who suffer malnutrition as babies. This so corresponds with the first astrological cycles it’s just amazing. Mercury represents fine motor skills and it’s first cycles play a huge part in a baby’s development during the first year. Mars represents gross motor skills and Mars’ influence plays a big part in the 2d year (and first year as well). So, I hope to read more from the book in order to connect these two. I wonder if Nutritional Scientists have tried to discover ways to fix nutritional deficiencies that have occurred early on in the physical level. I know they figure that the psychological scars are probably either ADD or Autism. And, certainly, anyone who has been involved in Nutritional Science hasn’t done much of anything considering how what conventional farming has done to the food and how much junk food there is.
I hope to do more research to see if the other astrological cycles/stages of development correspond with physical problems relating to malnutrition issues. I erased the name of the book. The language in most of it is very techniical and too difficult for me to understand.
One thing I can think of in order to create a solution is for parents to try to section off a piece of land in order to get kids involved in growing their own food organically. Maybe they are already doing this. It seems that the benefits would be huge in many different areas. The parents could share babysitting so could have some free time to do their own thing. Kids could connect with the land and with food which could be a good substitude for not having a stable family. Kids could eat more nutritious and flavorful food and could have some positive guidance from adults in learning to grow it. I know this is part of the campaign which First Lady Michelle Obama started. The problem with these types of “cures” is that parenting and scheduling becomes such a stressful part of growing up in Divorce that most people will just stop following any of these activities. The stress of following through on these artificial cures becomes too stressful. Many people just don’t have easy access to land at this point. Of course, there are urban gardening techniques where one can grow some things in just a few pots kept in a window.
Story about a stepfather who beat the crap out of his 8-year-old stepdaughter’s molester. The molester had been invited to celebrate Thanksgiving.
The story talks about how the legal system is easier on the molester than it is on the stepfather. As the law stands now, the step-father and his brother will receive more time than the abuser. It also says that the stepfather and his brother would have received only slightly longer sentences if they had killed the molester. Obviously the California legal system needs some revisions and I hope it happens with this case.
From the point of view of writing a blog about growing up in Divorce and blended homes this story is interesting to look at. For one, from the point of view of the little girl who was molested, I suspect that she will suffer less from the experience because people stepped in to defend her. Although I don’t condone violence, the guy had it coming. I have read enough times that child molesters seldom mend their ways. I hope that the family will continue to provide support for the victim so that she won’t suffer long term effects.
I’m wondering about something else regarding stepfathers. It seems that perhaps they will be more likely to act/react with regards to their stepchildren. This can tend to be bad in many situations where perhaps the blood tie connection makes a guy a little more tolerant. On the other hand, perhaps blood ties will often overlook abuse within the family in order to keep the peace. Biological Father’s hands will be tied because of loyalties. A stepfather will see the whole situation from an outsider’s perspective which will often be more objective.
As much as I think that parents and adults in general are neglectful when it comes to understanding and facing how divorce affects their children I think that the irrationality of “family values” is just as bad.
And my typing on my iPad is worse than anything on earth so I apologize for that.
Filed under: Books, Favoritism by Parents, Inheritance & Wills, moving, multiple households, Parents and their Dates, Personality Types Most Likely to Divorce, Stepfamilies, Uncategorized
Bad mood. Walking through library. Books on carts that need to be shelved. I see the word “Parasite” and immediately think of my step-family.
The Art of Being a Parasite by Claude Combes.
Reading on I find that this is probably the best study on understanding the politics of blended families. Within these families there are Winners and Losers. You win not by working hard and building a following and doing chores and finishing homework and setting the table, but by discerning where the richness is and just moving in on it with a fantasitic degree of ruthlessness. Whichever bloodline can gang up on and humiliate the other one wins. There’s the Conqueror family and the Conquered family. The Step-Mother always knows she’s right
(isn’t that just so bizarre how they all say that? It must be how women get their rocks off, maybe the battle for the husband is the lure, destroying another woman’s kids is the ultimate sexual turn-on)
Wondrous. Remember, your family loves you and will always be there for you? Stranger Danger applies to everyone except Mommy and Daddy’s dates? Here’s another crap fact about growing up in Divorce.
Chapter 8 Parasites in Time and Space
The Art of Being a Parasite by Claude Combes
From this same Chapter is an explanation of what types of hosts are most likely to attract parasites. The author reminds us that these do not always apply, so you still have to watch your back even if you’re all clear in these departments. The author is using Fish and Sealife as an example but I think the ideas can pretty easily transfer over to Host and Parasite Family Structures.
So, you may be more likely to attract and have your blood/home/parent/security/inheritance siphoned if:
1. You spend a lot of time in many different places (large area range v. small area range).
2. You are extroverted and spend a lot of time within a large community. Writer calls this “gregarious.” Parasites are less likely to cling to solitary fish.
3. You live in the depths like a mollusc. Don’t cling to rocks. Rolling stones gather no moss.
4. You are migrating. I see this a lot in California which has a Divorce rate so high the CDC doesn’t bother to include it in its statistics. People come out to California as a couple and almost always split up.
5. Writer calls this one: “Species richness of the phylum.” Wow, can’t say I understand the jargon. I guess this means that you are more likely to attract a parasite from someone you are similar to because parasites enjoy a particular diet. If you hang out with people who you are like you are more likely to pick up a parasite because parasites like to feed off of hosts which are similar. If you are wealthy and you hang out with wealthy people you already know that you will attract parasites. Makes sense.
6. Size. Large hosts attract more parasites because there is more area to attach to. Well, I became anorexic, so don’t know if this is very true on a physical level. The parasitic step-host family kept siphoning. I did learn that it’s not worth being successful because you have to always be on guard about the crap that shows up on your doorstep looking for dinner.
From pages 209-210, Aging Anorexias from Divorce know that even if you stopped eating as a result of your parents’ divorce that the Host family with keep right on chomping away. There’s gristle on your bones, after all, marrow inside for making soup, and compost to be made with what is left. Since food becomes scarce growing up in divorce, everyone for himself. And regular meals become an emotional burden of trying not to ask each other how they’re doing because that’s going to lead to long stories about greed, betrayal, rejection, lawyer and shrink visits, money and asshole boyfriends who disappear at Christmas. Plus, all those “I have it worse than you ever will” comments.
“Parasites “circulate” in the ecosystem. Some follow simple routes and others complex ones through life cycles in which unrelated hosts follow one another. One interesting and still poorly studied aspect of parasitology consists of reconstructing such routes in order to acquire key knowledge about the functioning of the ecosystem itself. The strategy is, if you tell me who parasitizes you, I will tell you whom you eat.”
Haven’t read the entire book, of course. But, it looks as if the author, Claude Combes, likes parasites. They keep the whole eco-system moving. They toss your half baked family into your step-mother’s complaining arms. Is this really how the human species evolves? Sounds a little bit like the bubonic plague to me.
Spoiled Children of Divorce 