Spoiled Children of Divorce

Exemplary Children of Divorce – Mark Manson

Here’s an except blogger Mark Manson wrote about his parents’ divorce in The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. Completely different from my own experience. Manson writes a blog giving dating advice and has published an article called “It’s not our parents’ fault” which doesn’t discuss Divorce at all.

from pp. 52-55

“And just when I had finally cleaned up my act and turned in my assignments and learned the value of good clerical responsibility, my parents decided to get divorced.

“I tell you all of this only to point out that my adolescence sucked donkey balls. I lost all of my friends, my community, my legal rights, and my family within the span of about nine months. My Therapist in my twenties would later call this ‘some real traumatic shit,’ and I would spend the next decade-and- change working on unraveling it and becoming less of a self-absorbed, entitled little prick.

“The problem with my home life back then was not all of the horrible things that were said or done; rather, it was all of the horrible things that needed to be said and done but weren’t. My family stonewalls the way Warren Buffet makes money or Janna Jameson fucks: we’re champions at it. The house could have been burning down around us and it would have been met with, ‘Oh no, everything’s fine. A tad warm in here, perhaps–but really, everything’s fine.’

“When my parents got divorced, there were no broken dishes, no slammed doors, no screaming arguments about who fucked whom. Once they had reassured my brother and me that it wasn’t our fault, we had a Q&A session — yes you read that right — about the logistics of the new living arrangement. Not a tear was shed. Not a voice was raised. The closest peek my brother and I got into our parents’ unraveling emotional lives was hearing, ‘Nobody cheated on anybody.’ Oh, that’s nice. It was a tad warm in the room, but really, everything was fine.


“When ‘real traumatic shit’ like this happens in our lives, we begin to unconsciously feel as though we have problems that we’re incapable of ever solving. And this assume inability to solve our problems causes us to feel miserable and helpless.

“But it also causes something else to happen. If we have problems that are unsolvable, our unconscious figures that we’re either uniquely special or uniquely defective in some way. That we’re somehow unlike everyone else and that the rules must be different for us.

“Put simply: we become entitled.

“The pain from my adolescence led me down a road of entitlement that lasted through much of my early adulthood.


“My trauma had revolved around intimacy and acceptance, so I felt a constant need to overcompensate, to proe to myself that I was loved and accepted at all times. And as a result, I soon took to chasing women the same way a cocaine addict takes to a snowman made out of cocaine: I made sweet love to it, and then promptly suffocated myself in it.

“I became a player–an immature, selfish, albeit sometimes charming player. And I strung up a long series of superficial and unhealthy relationships for the better part of a decade.

“I was often unemployed, living on friends’ couches or with my mom, drinking way more than I should have been, alienating a number of friends–and when I did meet a woman I really like, my self-absorption quickly torpedoed everything.

4 Horsemen of Divorced Parents?

Here’s an interesting article from IFLScience! called “4 Behaviors Are the Most Reliable Predictors of Divorce.” These behaviors might describe personalities of your parents if they are divorced.


The article describes the qualities are Contempt, Criticism, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling as most reliable indicators that a couple will divorce. People probably parent in a different way than they relate to a significant other so this might not indicate parenting style. But it does mean that a child from a divorce is most likely exposed to this style of relating to others themselves. So, if you find yourself feeling like a doormat, cutting people off in the middle of a conversation, feeling that your partner is a jerk in general, now you know where this comes from and that you yourself may soon divorce.

The Study was conducted by the Gottman Institute and a UC Berkeley professor, Robert Levenson, over a 14 year time span in the Midwest. Links are in the article.

Children of Divorce, Stalking, CyberSex

I don’t know if Children of Divorce are more likely to become Stalkers, but according to the book How To Stop a Stalker by Detective Mike Proctor they are more likely to be victimized by stalkers.   I’ve already discussed Stranger Danger and Divorce.  I’ve already stated that I think that grown Children of Divorce become victims more often than Children of Intact families.

Here is a quote from the chapter “Limiting Your Stalking Exposure”:

“…dealing with cyberpredators has shown that children in the following categories seem to be more at risk for being stalked than others on the Internet:  those who are shy, withdrawn, and/or who have low self-esteem; those with a weight problem; and those who have divorced parents.  We in law enforcement continually encounter such youths, who become victims not only of stalking but also of other crimes associated with being bullied and harassed, usually by their peers.  They are continually searching for acceptance.”

This information is paraphrased by the author from a meeting he had with Investigator Mike Harris who, along with his wife Cassandra, specializes in law enforcement investigations on cyberstalking of children.  This couple was interviewed by Oprah.  This was 10 years ago so I imagine that there is now more awareness of cyberstalking.

Sexual solicitations can be reported to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children CyberTipline (703) 274-3900.  I haven’t called to check if that number is still valid.  I wish that Psychology Schools would aggressively recruit burnt out cops because they could bring invaluable insight and skills into that profession.

I’ve said before that I think that introverted children might suffer from their parents’ divorces much more than extroverted children. I am certainly not an expert on this and am just giving my opinion but since no one else dares to have an opinion I might as well give mine.

I suspect that Divorce is a more comfortable experience for Extroverts than for Introverts.  I tend to suspect that Psychologists tend to be extroverts which is why they personally don’t think that there’s anything wrong with growing up in Divorced homes.  They also may have lower iq’s than the normal college graduate, and in most cases that average taxi driver, trash collector, electrician and plumber, but I suppose that will never be tested.

With all the media attention on bullying lately I wonder if any studies have focused on Children of Divorce to see if they are more or less likely to bully others.   I know that the folks from Intact Families who always have to state that they wished their parents had divorced are in a way bullying the Children of Divorce not to speak.  I mean, if it’s something that you always wanted, wouldn’t you be interested in what others who have actually experienced want to say about it rather than immediately butting in on their territory (so to speak) and whining with your grass is always greener problems?

Brazil Feeds Girls From Broken Homes to Men Being Held in Jail

Read an article in USAToday which said that child abuse tends to go up when the country is in recession.  The article says that most of the abuse is aimed against babies and very young children as their parents can’t handle the stress of financial problems and caring for a child.  Why don’t pediatricians ever talk out about this type of problem as it is connected with Divorce.  Doesn’t matter I suppose.  My parents divorced during a recession so maybe the excuse is that I was abused because of the financial problems and not because of the divorce.  The type of mentality that can separate this stuff is called “Denial.”  Nobody practices “denial” more than folks connected with the medical profession — that’s only my opinion.

Really scary stories coming out of Brazil.  A 14 year old girl was released from a jail on Saturday night after being held in prison for 4 days.  She was gang raped the entire time by a group of men who were also in her cell.  Apparently this is typical.  The police capture young women on minor or even false charges in order to feed the men who are being kept in the jails.  A 15 year old girl was arrested (I originally wrote “captured” in stead of arrested because that’s a more accurate description) on Oct. 21, 2007 and held for weeks in a cell with 21 men.

Another time a 23 year old prostitute was held for a month as well.

This article describes how both the 15 year old and 23 year old victims were naturals for being victims of this type of crime because they come from “Broken Homes” and had been molested by step-fathers.

In the U.S., of course, nothing like this could possibly happen.  Nah, never.

I’ve discussed before the relationship I’ve noticed how the news of women who are murdered by Husbands/Boyfriends often seem to come from Broken Homes.  Even without the molestation from the step-father this seems to be a trend.  There’s  a statistic floating around on the internet which backs up my theory but haven’t got a clue if it’s accurate.

What’s fascinating about all the articles which discuss child abuse is that they never seem to come with information that will help the victims.  It seems that if a kid is reading that type of thing he/she should be given some advice.  Guess they can’t do that because the kids from intact homes will hog up all the services.  Kids with healthy self-esteem scream loudest.


How Divorce Trauma Might Affect You Healthwise as Indicated by Pluto Generations…

This is a big leap of speculation here.  After watching the interviews with Esme Fuller-Thomson  in which she has managed to rule out about 16 major reasons why Children of Divorce in her study have twice the rate of Strokes as people from Intact families, I began to realize that, in Astrology, Strokes are literally ruled by Uranus.  And, Uranus is the same planet which overall rules Divorce and Blended Families.  I had just read a description on another forum about what it feels like to have a stroke and to go through re-hab.  Don’t know if it’s typical, but it actually felt a lot like being a kid in a divorce.  The person said she was aware of everything that was going on but when she tried to speak she couldn’t get the words out.  I think that because children don’t have vocabulary to express what they are feeling in an event which is way beyond their experience.  They don’t have authority or control over what happens to them.  ( I can see the relationship, but probably no one else can.)

Fuller-Thomson is very careful in saying that she suspects that this might only be true for people who participated in her study which are a much older generation, born mostly in the 1940s.  There was much more stress about going through Divorce at that point because of financial loss and social stigma and probably loss of one of the parents which wouldn’t be explained very well until they got older.  People born in the 1940s all belong to the Pluto in Leo generation.  The opposite sign of Leo is Aquarius which is ruled by Uranus.  And this would be the sign which is most traumatized by a Pluto transit as Pluto represents our sense of Power and Self Will.  The sign opposite will probably experience a sense of loss of power, especially over relationships as oppositions rule relationships.

Pluto is a great planet to look at for pathologies.  It actually rules pathology, and parts of the medical field including psychiatry, research, and deep seated diseases within the soul.  Pluto rules poisons along with Neptune but, unlike Neptune, it likes to confront these poisons — at least in other people, Pluto often doesn’t have the greatest self-knowledge.  Pluto is also ruler of death.  And Pluto is ruler of all crises on a mass scale. And, of course, it describes how we deal with other people’s moneys and resources, deep resentments, revenge, so is also heavily involved in the Divorce scenario.

Pluto has a very irregular orbit, stays in some signs for a very long time and for less length in other signs.    It was in the sign of Cancer, for example, for roughly 25 years between 1914 and 1939 and in the sign of Libra for 12  years between 1972 and 1984.  Cancer is the sign which rules the family and Mother.  Libra is the sign which rules Marriage.  It was the Pluto in Cancer generation which went through the big Divorce Tsunami back in the 70s when Pluto squared their natal Plutos (Squares bring big Challenges in how we deal with our personal power). Row v. Wade, The Pill and No Fault Divorce came around this time and led to the sexual revolution.  (Pluto rules Sex, you know those Scorpios …)

Whatever sign Pluto is in it will try to change and eradicate whatever is not working within society as regards that sign.  This is a great purification process, a pruning which looks for the deepest problems.  And often these are the things which are most painful to change within ourselves.  And you need help with that, thus the huge amount of shrinks hanging up their signs all over the place at around this time.

It can also indicate a deep seated and selfish need to think only about our own self interests.  When Pluto hit its own sign of Scorpio in 1984, California stopped including Divorce Statistics in the CDC’s databanks which greatly skews the Statistics on Divorce for the entire country since California has become the most populated and probably has the most Divorces.  Parents figured that if they took care of themselves their kids would be better off.  There’s a kernel of truth in that, but I tend to like to recognize that Divorce disables the parenting instincts in most cases for a really long time in a child’s short life.

So, it makes sense, astro-wise to look to look at generations through Pluto’s eyes.  It would also make sense to pay attention to Uranus’ transits as well.  Uranus passes through a sign roughly every 7 years, creating great hopes and a need for rebellion in whatever sign it is passing through.  Neptune is also the other great outer planet to look at.  Neptune is related to dissolving whatever is creating too much stress and hostility, such as marriages that don’t work, especially if related to escapist behaviors of any kind.  Neptune is related more to the states of denial that society as a whole is in.  Neptune lays the foundation for creating great Art by taking away the foundations.  Foundations can create rules and rules can be cruel because they show intolerance for those who are suffering.  Neptune paints rosy colored pictures and fuzzy ideas about how things ought to be.

Right now, I’m going to hang with the Pluto signs, though.  Pluto has just entered the sign of Capricorn which means that family structures will go through some sort of change/ transformation, probably relating to Authority, Control, and Societal Expections and Ambitions.

The health thing that I’m looking for (this is all wild fantasy and speculation) is related to the sign that opposes wherever Pluto is.  Pluto equals our sense of power.  We can easily look to the sign opposing where the power is to try to understand where the loss of power will most likely manifest.  And where the seeds of future health problems might sow themselves.

When Pluto was in Leo perhaps the place where loss of power was felt by everyone was in the opposing sign of Aquarius.  This led to the hippie generation and the great hopes and wishes (Aquarius keywords) for the Aquarian age, even though the Age of Aquarius was still about 150 years off in the future.  Aquarius likes to think about the future, by the way, so this isn’t weird (another Aquarius keyword) at all from Aquarius point of view.  We need our futurists.

At any rate, Uranus rules the lower legs, especially the ankles.   It rules the circulatory systems of the body, especially of the blood.  It rules nerves and nervous disorders, especially ones that are acute with sudden onset.  It rules cramps and spasms in the body, anything erratic and with sudden onset.  And distribution of gases and fluids.  And irregularities of the heart.  It rules psychology and sociability.  One can see how this generation is very concerned with those particular parts of personality.  Any child in the U.S. who isn’t highly socialized has been diagnosed as autistic.

The other finding that Dr. Fuller-Thomson has published are the higher Suicidal tendencies of Children of Divorce.  She found that boys’ rates go up greatly, girls not so much (I read the article incorrectly when I wrote about it before, sorry).   Leo and Aquarius are masculine signs.  Leo, ruler of the Ego and Pride is often related in a dark sense to depression and suicide.  I would expect the Pluto in Virgo generation to show greater suicidcal tendencies in females since those are feminine signs.

The natal chart will show any of these disorders much more than the generational problem will.  I’m just trying to look at how a generation might show traumatic reaction and how these might change through the generations.  I would expect that the Pluto generations of the  Cardinal Signs to be much more heavily affected in a traumatic way by disruption in the home.  These signs rule the houses of relationships and home life/parents.  But, maybe I’m wrong.

I’m going to list Pluto’s transit through signs since that time and the health problems which are associated with the sign opposite.  This is speculation.  Wild speculation.  But it would be interesting to see eventually if these correspond with reality down the road.  This means that each generation will express Plutonian trauma in different parts of their bodies and psychologies.  Because I’m lazy, I’m mostly posting physical diseases.  These are mostly from The Rulership Book by Rex E. Bills.

Pluto in Leo:  1938-1957.

Opposite/Afflicted Sign is Aquarius:

Ankles, Circulatory Systems of the body, especially blood.  Distributions of fluids and water distribution.  Nerves and nervous disorders, especially anything uncommon or acute and unexpected.  Lymphatic system.  Air sign.  Cramps and Spasms.  Heart irregularities.  Free Will, Psychology, Sociability. The connection with the brain and the nervous system is always going to struggle with understanding feelings.  The brain doesn’t have any actual sensations itself.  Therefore, Uranus/Aquarius problems will deal with emotional grief in ways that others might not understand, or will ignore because they think that there was no reaction.

Pluto in Virgo:  1957/8-1972

Opposite/Afflicted Sign is Pisces:

Feet, deformities, Lymphatic System, Phlegm, Mucous, Glandular Swellings.  Poisons.  Suicidal thoughts and sorrow.  Difficult to diagnose diseases.  Anesthesia, alcoholism, addiction, escapism.  Self Undoing.  Self Injury.  Psychism, Sacrifice, Service.  Enemies.

Pluto in Libra:  1972 – 1984

Opposite/Afflicted Sign is Aries:

Head, Fevers and Inflammation, Brain diseases, Dryness, Heat exhaustion, Adrenalin, Migraine, Skull, Vertigo, Epilepsy, Eyes in general, Optic nerves, toothaches, Mumps, Measles, Insomnia.  Cuts, Burns, Alopecia.

Pluto in Scorpio:

Afflicted Sign is Taurus:  1984-1995,

Boy, I’d expect the Scorpio problems to come out but I’ll stick with my theory here.  Neck, Throat, Base of Brain and Skull, Chin, Ears in general.  Lower Mouth, gums, teeth, jaw.  Voice, Speech, Swallowing, Obesity, Coughs, Abscesses, Adenoids, Cerebellum, diptheria, Esophasus, Upper part, gangrene, goitres, gout, mumps, (nose rings, haha it’s true), palates, saliva.PHysical constitution and recuperative power.  Thyroid, strangulation, suffocation. Stubbornness.

Pluto in Sagittarius:

Afflicted Sign is Gemini:  1995 – 2008.

Arms, Hands, Fingers, Breathing, Collar Bones, Shoulders, Upper lobes of lungs, ribs.  Mind, concrete thinking, memory, mental faculties, nerves and nervous system.  Perception. Respiratory System. Asthma, oxygenation of blood, pulmonary circulation, bronchitis, bronchial tubes.  Emphysema.   Restlessness.  Hay Fevers.  Nervous energy.  Pneumonia.  Rumors, gossip.  Tuberculosis, whooping cough, anemia.

Pluto in Capricorn:

Afflicted Sign is Cancer:  2008-2024.

Chest Cavity, Breasts, Diaphragm, Stomach, Lower Lobes of Lungs, Upper Lobes of Liver.  Blood serum.  Uterus.  Bronchitis.  Cancer.  Armpits.  Asthma.  Abscesses.  Alimentary Canals.  Digestion. Stomach gases, heartburn, hiccups, flatulence.  Pancreas.  Saliva.  Gastric Ulcers.  Hypochondria.  Coughs.  Nourishment, Food, Gardening.  Introversion, retrospection.  Lower ribs.  Nausea.

Wikileaks and Children of Divorce

I’ve been sort of away from it all and have just noticed that the latest scandal, the release of thousands of U.S. military documents from the last five years, through an internet site called Wikileaks, is the brainchild of two Children of Divorce.

The media is portraying childhood divorce as the grand motivator of what is now being considered a criminal act.  A 22-year old information specialist, Bradley Manning, has been arrested.  Manning spent his time at work downloading secret videos and documents onto a Lady Gaga CD.  People are saying that he has “anger issues.”  Australian, Julian Assange, is the guy who runs the Wikileaks site.  He is being painted as a paranoid product of a chaotic childhood.  Both men are described as having problems dealing with Authority.

Isn’t it sort of the point of a parent who gets a divorce  to pursue a happier life?  Sometimes — often, actually — that involves questioning Authority.  I mean, when you think about it, the reason why we’re in the Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan is because those people won’t, or can’t, stand up against their governments.  They are afraid of Authority.  If we want to respect Authority that isn’t doing the right thing then shouldn’t we just join our enemies? I’m pretty certain we wouldn’t be hearing from Manning and Assange if we hadn’t been in a pointless set of wars for the last 8 years.  Pat Tillman was doing the same thing, granted he wasn’t from divorce so nobody gets to say that he was angry or paranoid (edit:  Pat Tillman’s parents are divorced).

So, the media journalists have lapsed into evil bitchy step-mothers with their descriptions of Assange and Manning.  Assange and Manning are screwed up products of their parents’ hatred.  Amazing how the attitude towards how divorce affects kids can spin on a dime.  There

Assange’s parents were Peace Activists who ran a traveling theater.  They divorced.  His Father became an architect.  I know not what age Assange was at the time of the divorce.   Mother moved her sons about 37 times before Assange was 16 years old whilst running from Hubby #2 so there’s some bad step-father visuals in there.  There are definitely a lot of interesting images concerning home and homelessness and moving in this guys’ life.  Assange withdrew into his computer work and became a hacker.  Why not?  He was probably given too much information about his Mother’s love life all through childhood.  “TMI” is not a big deal for a Child of D.  We’re raised with it on a day to day basis.  Who was the filmmaker who became a filmmaker by using the camera to try to catch his Father having an affair?

Now Assange sort of just lives in his head and on the Internet.  He doesn’t really have a home.  He lives all over the World, particularly in Iceland.  Iceland and its attitudes towards divorce.  Well, if that’s the direction in which we are flowing then we might as well start trying to learn from them.

Assange got married when he was 18 and subsequently divorced.  He went through a long custody battle which led to a hospitalization.  Seeing how the courts work is supposedly where he developed his distaste for Authority.  It looks like he at least tried to stay in his kids’ life.  That’s got to count for something.

Bradley Manning grew up in Oklahoma.  His parents divorced when he was in Middle School.  He moved with his Mother to Wales.  He’s only 22 years old.

What bugs me is how closeted these Hackers are with their birth data.  I can’t look up either chart.  Kind of interesting to observe how they feel more comfortable exposing the secrets but how secretive they themselves are (I can’t get their birth data).  Maybe they are used to being invisible?  Also interesting to see how they are seen as insubordinate for exposing flaws of authority figures when actually they are trying to hold on to democratic ideals.  I wonder if the journalists in the media who are currently trying to humiliate them are from intact families.

If Your Parents Divorced When You Were Age 5.5 to 6.5: Swingers

I’m going to back track now to Age 5.5 because I didn’t talk about the first Jupiter Opposition which occurs around that time.  Jupiter’s opposition can happen earlier or later than this date.  It seems to be a distinctive version of the Jupiter Cycle as far as relating to Children of Divorce.  The Opposition is often considered one of the difficult transits.  It is the point of the orbit when Jupiter is farthest away from its natal position and suggests a feeling of being pulled in the opposite direction, of needing to always find balance, and of simply being opposed.  Often oppositions in a natal chart shows that a native struggles with relationships in whatever way the planets, signs and houses imply.  So the effect of a divorce on a child at this time might be significant. Jupiter is a freedom loving influence which often doesn’t enjoy being pinned down by others and so right off the bat one can see where trouble might lie when a traumatic event occurs just as a child is having this first experience in life.

This planetary return phase also seems to relate strongly to the first major Progressed Moon phase which comes after it, so I’m going to talk about these two as they seem to work together.  Also, the Moon’s Nodal Axis has a first major transit aspect, the trine, which is considered an “easy” aspect.  This occurs a little after the 6th Birthday and might provide a positive balancing element.  Age 6 might represent a time when the easy days of childhood are beginning to grow into something else.

The Planetary Return Cycles and phases don’t happen on a rigid schedule. They are much different for each individual and may account for much individualization in interpretation between natal charts.  A person who is born in one year won’t share the same Moon and Jupiter transits and progressions as someone born 11 years later and will experience the two parts of these cycles in much different relation to each other.  I don’t know which Astrologer if any has looked at this as it relates to how the planets can be interpreted in the life.

Over and over again the writers  of the Gessell Institute/Yale Child Center books say and that children develop at slightly different ages and so individuality must be considered for each child.  There is no “normal” age of development, just averages.

Trying to connect planetary returns and phases of development in children with any set event, such as a divorce may not be possible because divorces often occur over a period of at least a year and in some cases may take up a person’s entire childhood.  However, there is usually a certain age, or a specific year that a person will refer to as the year that his parents’ divorced.

So at roughly around Age 5.5 years old Jupiter opposes its natal position and this can happen earlier or it can happen later depending on how fast Jupiter is traveling in its orbit.

At an average age of 6.5 a child will experience his first major difficult progression from the Moon, the first square. I’m going to discuss the progressed Moon transit phases mostly in relation to Saturn in the next post because they rule the opposite ends of the same pole that rules family and parents and relate strongly to each other and in my opinion show a particularly difficult stage of development for a Child of Divorce to experience break up of a family. But, I’m finding is that there seems to be a strong relationship between the Jupiter Opposition and the first Secondary Progressed Lunar Return in the charts of celebrities who grew up in divorce.  The charts of the successful people that I’m looking at seem to have very dominant placements of the moon in their charts.  It is either in conjunction with an angle or with the Nodal Axis in most of the charts in close to all of the charts of celebrities that I’ve collected for around this age.

I’ve discussed the very basic keywords that describe a Jupiterian influence in the natal chart.  I’m keeping the interpretations very broad for right now.  I’m having a lot of trouble reading any predictive value of upcoming Jupiter Returns in the individual’s later lives with regards to these early partial Jupiter phases of Return cycles.  I’ve checked Jupiter Return years for both the natal chart and the phase chart and they don’t seem to be very reliable indicators for experiencing future traumas.

I can, however,  see the influence in the personalities through their larger than life and easy going talents and accomplishments. The kids in this group have the pizazz and charm of Jupiter, and the ability to appeal to broad audiences.  Many of the Jupiterian influence types will often find careers in Jupiterian fields, probably experience a lot of “lucky breaks.” I can see that they will easily detach from family situations that don’t work for them and go off and do their own thing.  I wouldn’t expect a Jupiter influenced individual to have only one marriage himself as an adult although I definitely don’t have enough examples to use to say if this is true one way or another.

At around the age of 6.3 years, a child will experience his first trine of transiting Nodal Axis to his natal Nodes.  The Nodal Axis is related to describing  a person’s destiny.  It shows the characteristics that will most likely lead to failure on the South Node end and the characteristics that will most likely lead to success through the North Node.  Trines are positive influences that show a time in which there is a feeling of a good sense of ease and flow within the life.  This might help a child accept what is going in his homelife.  Trines can always lapse into a sense of slackness, though, and not dealing with crisis so perhaps this explains why there are few examples of children from this age in my list.  There are some psychological problems related to easy transits that are very similar to the problems I talked about with easy Jupiter transits.

Children who go through their parents’ divorce between the Ages of 5.5 and 6.5 seem to be caught between two planetary return phase cycles with the Nodal Axis trine stuck between.  I wonder what the significance is of the 6th Birthday in Child Development.  This represents the Sun which is the opposite big gravitational pull in addition to the Moon and Jupiter.

At Age 6 as with all even numbered ages there will be the third Mars Return which can be a tempermental influence which could include how a child handles anger.

The first Progressed Lunar Square on average occurs around Age 7 but may happen as early as 6 1/2.  Since Square aspects are thought to bring “Challenges” or “Lessons” this will bring a first struggle a child has dealing with all things having to do with his Moon sign.  Remember the Moon rules Mom, the Family, the Homes, the environment, Emotional Needs and Bonds, etc.  It is a key ruler in the birth chart.  The Secondary Progressed Moon Cycle doesn’t complete until around Age 27 so this is a very long cycle.

Usually the Progressed Lunar Return is looked at in terms of its relationship to the Saturn Cycle since the Moon and Saturn rule opposite ends of the same pole. The Saturn return cycle phases, especially in childhood, come very soon after the Secondary Progressed Moon Cycle.  This varies widely.  The difference in time might be only a couple of months or it could be a year and a half.  In kid years, that’s eternity.

In the chart examples I’ve been studying for successful people I’ve noticed a couple of interesting coincidences.  The Moon seems to be prominently placed in the natal chart (I’ve only got 6 examples from Age 6, not very many).  The Moon will often be in aspect to either the Nodal Axis or the  Angles of the birth chart.

In the 6 charts of Celebrities that I have, Jupiter is in major aspect with the Nodal Axis as well in most of the charts.  This perhaps shows that the trauma of divorce triggers the natal Jupiter-Nodal Axis into action and perhaps pushes them into the spotlight.  As we will see, they might struggle internally with being in the spotlight as well.  Jupiter doesn’t revel in the limelight the way that the Sun or Saturn might.  Jupiter is competitive, however, and will love the game of trying to beat out others.  Once he gets ahead he won’t want to lead, necessarily, unless there are many other indicators in the birth chart.

By coincidence, the Gessell Institute Books say that at Age 5 1/2 children go through a variety of behaviors which seem to match this Jupiter transit and which can be directly explained by both the Jupiter Opposition aspect and the Progressed Lunar Square (and the 3d Mars Return). The Gessell Institute Doctors wrote that children at this Age go through a sort of SeeSaw of behavior patterns.  They are said to swing between extreme behaviors of being good and bad.  This is a signature both of the Opposition aspect and also of Jupiter which does things in a big way, to the extreme in either direction, and of the Moon which naturally ebbs and flows.  As I’ve said before, Jupiter has the strongest gravitational pull of any planet after the Sun.  He has many of his own moons and tends to attract comets who crash into him.  The Moon clearly has a strong gravitational pull on the earth which is observed in the tides.

Interesting how so many childhood playground equipment centers caters to a child who is learning how to gain balance physically.  Seesaws, swing sets, jungle gyms, balance beams are all the toys that 5 1/2 year old naturally play on.   Children at this age are throwing their weight around all day in a sense of play. This connects directly with the Astrology of Jupiter and the Opposition aspect.  Jupiter is the largest planet.  Kids at this age are very aware of their bodies, expect to grow very fast and are very aware of their physical size.  Jupiter can also bestow a sort of clumsiness as kids are constantly having to relearn how to use their fastly growing bodies.  (I wonder if trauma can come through later on as being accident prone, or extremely physical in some excessive way).

The Gessell Institute book literally says that children are “Bipolar” at this age.  I think the book was written before this word was used for the mental illness so am pretty sure they weren’t referring to mental illness.  I can only imagine how many children today who are struggling to break out of a traumatized childhood event like divorce are mis-diagnosed with this disorder.  Truth is, their bodies and minds could be stuck in the wild swing set of what was going on in their families at Age 5 1/2 when the divorce occurred.  It wouldn’t be easy to try to develop out of this age without a lot of parental guidance.  The next two phases, Moon and Saturn, are as I said (in my opinion) difficult phases for Children of Divorce and I can see how a Jupiterian might prefer to just stay as he is if everything Lunar and Saturnian going on in in his home is falling apart.  The next two Return phases coming up are biggees related to dealing with home-life needs and family and parents and as I’ve said.

The Moon and Saturn do rule opposite ends of the same pole.  So it’s interesting how the big Jupiterian polar swing seems to occur right before.

I sort of wonder if kids whose parents divorce at this age remember the time as being a sort of roller coaster of ups and downs. However, on amusement park rides one is supposed to sit on one end or the other of the Hammerhead, not at the fulcrum or in the sidelines the way where Children of Divorce generally end up.

Through the Jupiter Opposition one can also see how a child will be viewing his Relationships.  Oppositions will show relationships just because they show two ends of the same pole.  The relationships that a 6 year old will look for could be different from the relationship adults look for.  He will hopefully have friends.  And, as Jupiter represents Teachers one can sense that a child will especially benefit from guidance from Teachers or other Role Models at this age.  Jupiterians have lots of opinions and they will perhaps be seeking opinions from others at this point so that they have something to emulate.   Kids at this age will want to share their big Jupiterian Vocabularies which are developing and they want to be exposed to the wonders of all kinds of other ways of living.  If parents who are fighting with each other share their Jupiterian opinions with the kids then the kids will probably use this as intellectual information on which to base their own opinions.

Kids at this age might also become very aware of parents who are Jupiterian in negative ways.  The Irresponsible Daddy who is away traveling all the time, and the Fun, Sexy Mommy who is gone all the time with her boyfriends will let the child know that he is either invisible or will have to act just like her when he/she grows up.  Jupiter can tend to overdo whatever it does.  So a parent who drinks too much, or parties too much, or watches too much TV, or eats too much, or spends all his free time studying for a Doctorate and praying at Church will probably become a very prominent memory in the child’s life.  Often the child will grow up feeling invisible in relation to some sort of larger, gravitational presence.  That’s often a good thing, but there could be a feeling of psychological abandonment to reconcile as an adult.

At any rate, the Child Development experts at Yale (and Gessell Institute) say that there are certain difficult behaviors that crop up at this age.  Stephanie Staal’s book also shows some of the same problems.  Astrologers seldom discuss the Jupiter/Sagittarius problems because often they suffer from them personally.  I do tend to notice that Mutable Sign suns are literally often diagnosed as Bipolar (not that they are) and I’ve met plenty of Sagittarius/Jupiter women, in particular, with that DSM number.  I’ve also met a couple of Sagittarians who said that they were the quiet child who never stood out.  Perhaps this is the difficult side of the Jupiterian childhood.  Often they outgrow this and become the life of the party, but deep down they worry  about how nothing ever feels right.

Jupiter struggles with extreme anxieties.  Some people are naturally quiet but I don’t think that Jupiterians are happy in that state overall.  Often one might expect that a Jupiterian influenced person will struggle with needing freedom in relationships later on in life, relies too heavily on chance and good luck and may easily tire of pulling g’s from all those swings in life style.  Often they will become territorial and need a lot of space in their living environments.  People from this age on my list seem to have a larger than life vibe.  They seem to understand that one must show a style and a face toward the public.  They may be “pulling” away from others who they have relationships with just as Jupiter is pulling away at its own placement in the astrological chart through the opposition phase of the return transit.

Weird thing is how prominent the Moon is in the celebrity charts for this Age.  In 5 out of the 6 charts that I have (admittedly too small a grouping to make mass generalization), the Moon is in conjunction with either the Nodal Axis or an Angle and major planets in the chart.  I think this might be significant in that the next major Return phase cycle will be the first separating square that the Secondary Progressed Moon makes to its natal position.  As I’ve said before, the Moon rules Mother, Women, Family, Home, Food and feelings.  Often they will become successful through a “face” and so they will need a lot of “down time” in order to regroup.  So, I’ll be pointing out this part of the examples I have as well.  I’ll be discussing the actual progressed Moon charts in the Age 6 – 7 group.

Within Divorced Families, as described in the examples in Stephanie Staal’s book The Love They Lost, this moodiness and inward behavior does come through.  This could be from the Jupiterian Opposition aspect or it could be from the Progressed Moon square which comes up roughly within a year.  If related to Jupiter I would suppose that the child survived by making himself invisible.  If related to Moon I suspect that the Child used the Lunar influence outwardly towards parenting the parents through the divorce rather than inwardly in order to understand his own emotional needs as would naturally happen.

The children seem to try to deal with their feelings through self-protective and defensive ways.  On p. 38-39 of Staal’s book a female describes how she held her feelings in until she left home at age 19.  Since the Moon rules the Home it seems that any shift in that situation might trigger an emotional flood of sorrow later on in life.  This also shows the big Jupiterian life swings that I’ve described.  This sense of being overwhelmed by feelings with no place to properly express them could certainly be Jupiter.  It’s definitely considered a Lunar influence.  This female says that she kept herself busy in order to deal with the trauma that she was completely exhausted by the time she hit her 20s and spent much of that time “floundering around.” (Nice watery Moon imagery there).

Another female, on p. 110 (Staal), describes how she did all the housework while her Mother’s drinking took over.  She was praised for “being the strong one” and stayed at home rather than going out with friends as a sort of moral and loyalty thing.   All examples that I have in Staal are female.  I’m not sure what to make of that.  Perhaps it is an easier age for a female to relate to than a male because of the Moon influence?  Perhaps in most families the caring Father presence is lost and the boys become lost as well from lack of a role model.

All examples in Staal discuss the divorce in terms of their emotional reaction to it, which shows a total Lunar influence.  People from the younger ages in the book often describe what happened rather than by the child/adults’ reaction.  Descriptions:  “I was shell-shocked for years.”  “I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders.”  These children will struggle intensely if the Mother struggles.  They often will go through a negative phase of reaction to the Father as well.  Often they will switch from living with one parent to living with the other parent when problems crop up.

There is a positive example in this book.  One female (p. 74) said that her parents “protected” her from the Divorce.  Protection is what the Moon wants.  The parents kept a friendly relationship with each other.  She saw her Mother flourish and remarry a man who she liked.  Her Father and Step Father got along.  The sign of Cancer in astrology is ruled by the crab image.  The whole existence is related to hiding the soft hyper sensitive body behind a hard outer shell.  If a child doesn’t have to do that then he may not feel harmed by the event (that’s common sense, of course, the astrological influence will be very strong under Lunar transits than other planetary aspects).  Coming out of the self protective shell which is created to survive emotional harm is a major challenge for Lunar people.  Best to provide the shell and let the child “exist” for a while?   In happy households, a child going through a moody phase might be allowed to exist if only for a while.  Divorce is an extroverts’ activity, however, and a parent who sees a moody child will think that the behavior is the fault of the divorce.  It is important for children of divorce that they are allowed to grow into and out of their own phases.  How to do that in reality is anybody’s guess.  (Actually, one simple technique from Astrology: you can look in the child’s natal chart for areas that sextile and trine the traumatized planet to see how to redirect the child’s interests, possibly offering a path around the problem).

With the Jupiterian influence, the child will put up a facade and appear fine in order to take care of the parents’ feelings.  He will be a people pleaser.  He will bottle this up for as long as he can but eventually will suffer from having kept his needs invisible for so long.  This might not be true for a child under a heavy Saturn influence who will have the exact opposite type of reaction, but I’ll get to that.

Since Jupiter and the Moon are related to consumption and food and overdoing, I sort of wonder if there are a lot of issues around weight control from this age group.  These kids might grow up feeling very hungry or they might starve themselves as a way of denying their needs, something which would match their need for family.  There would be a strong emotional bond with food in some way.  Probably keeping regular meals going and demanding that there is no fighting allowed at this time would be a good policy for the child’s health later on in life.

I discussed how I think that Jupiter might be connected with fantasies in children’s lives through its traditional rulership of the sign of Neptune.  Among these fantasies are the themes that most little girls have of being Princesses.  (There is a really funny story that Sagittarius comedian Sarah Silverman tells about 3 and 4 year old girl’s desire to be princesses, it’s very funny use of double entendre for Sarah but I think she describes a big part of how Jupiter relates to childhood).  Princess Diana of Wales went through the initial phase of her parents’ divorce at Age 5. But her Father “abducted” her from her Mother’s house right around the Holidays when she was 6 years old.  Since she literally became a Princess later on in life she sort of embodies the Jupiterian connection that I spoke of earlier about Jupiter being connected with Princesses.   Sorry, I just love these literal connections.  Diana’s life did sort of evolve in wide swings.  She struggled with her weight.  She was super cool and charming.  And she showed the humanitarian and caring spirit that a combination of Jupiter and Moon will show.

There really does seem to be a Princess like quality to the successful women who grow up from this relationship age.  Both Audrey Hepburn and Tyra Banks were six years old when their parents divorced.  Audrey Hepburn grew up in War time in Europe.  Her parents divorced in the middle of all of this.   Hepburn, according to Wikipedia, said that her Father’s abandonment was the biggest trauma of her life and her marriages fell apart because of deep insecurities related to her Father.

I can’t find any connections between the time of her divorce and later events in her life  with either her Prog. Lunar Returns ((1956-7, 1984-5) or her Jupiter opposition Returns.  But it is easy to see how strong the events of this early age stayed with her.  The Moon is related to Food and Care and Hepburn later became an Ambassador for UNICEF because the aid packages sent by the U.S. after the war actually made her sick. Her natal Moon is placed very prominently in her chart in the first house conjunct her Ascendant and opposing natal Neptune/DESC. It’s interesting to wonder about her Jupiter Opposition placement as well.  Jupiter is also related to style and good taste.  I remember watching an interview with Hepburn in which she describes how she realized that she would have to develop her own style in order to succeed.  Can’t remember all the things she did to her appearance, but do remember that she developed her own personal style by exaggerating her appearance.  She said that she exaggerated her eyebrows.  Exaggeration is a key Jupiter word.  Natally, Hepburn had a conjunction of Jupiter to her North Node in Taurus which shows how strongly the events related to Jupiter would be in her life.  I’m not sure if she suffered from Anorexia but I suspect she was.

Tyra Banks also has natal Moon conjunct an angle and involved in an opposition to an outer planet heavy.  Her Aries Moon is conjunct her Midheaven and opposing Pluto 29 Gemini Rx and squaring Saturn 3 Cancer Rx.  So her first progressed Lunar Opposition would have tripped off this big t-square in her chart.  This aspect shows a lot of self control in a person.  But it can show an element of ruthlessness and cruelty and of secrets that one doesn’t speak about.  Banks says that everyone in her family has remained friendly with each other since the divorce.  Like Audrey Hepburn, I’ve seen interviews with Banks where she explains her success through some exaggerated way of looking.  In her case, it’s through her “Schmize.”  That’s how she smiles through her eyes.

My all-time favorite singer, Aretha Franklin, would fit into this category.  She isn’t a Princess, of course, she is a Queen. And so, she doesn’t fit into my interpretation for Jupiter in that regard.  All that emotional repression that a child struggles with during her parents’ divorce seems to have served Franklin just fine through her music.  I’ve read, however, that Aretha has suffered from time to time from bouts of depression and this does seem to fit with Progressed Moon problems.  It might show the swing influence from Jupiter which could bring huge emotional extremes.  Certainly her music has that glorious Jupiterian sound and this woman definitely can swing.

Among male examples whose parents are divorced at Age 6 are Actor Mickey Rourke and Singer Frank Sinatra, Jr.

Frank Sinatra, Jr. became a professional singer like his Father.  His Father was absent during much of his childhood because of work commitments.  Sinatra, Jr. has the same Moon conjunct ASC (in Cancer) that Audrey Hepburn had.  In his case, Moon is opposing natal Sun-Desc.  (This means that he was born during a Full Moon which was just rising as he was born).  Sinatra, Jr. knew from a very early age (Age 5) that he wanted to be a professional singer just like his Father even though his Father didn’t want him to follow in his footsteps.  One can see the independent Jupiterian relationship struggle here.  His Father literally was a Sagittarius.  Sinatra, Jr. is a Cancer/Capricorn person who naturally expresses himself both through his ego (the Sun) and feeling (the Moon) by being strongly connected with parents.  His parent, his Father at any rate, was independent and freedom loving.  His relationship with his family would be super prominent in his life, that’s for sure.

Sinatra, Jr. was abducted shortly after his first Nodal Return at age 19.  His Nodal Axis is conjunct his Moon-Asc and his natal Pluto so all these elements were triggered just as they would have been right around the time of his parents’ divorce.  At this point his progressed Moon was squaring his Ascendant exactly, and natal Moon by 4 degrees.  Pluto rules crime and mafia and abductions of all types.  This proved to be a huge test for his Father’s love for him.  It involved paying the Kidnappers a huge ransom for Sinatra, Jr.s’ release.  This presented another obstacle for Sinatra, Jr., though, for his early attempts for a singing career.  People questioned whether or not it was a publicity stunt (The Moon = Publicity, for what it’s worth).  Later on, Sinatra, Jr. put his own career on hold in 1988 to handle his Father’s career as musical director and conductor.

Jupiter, on the other hand, in Sinatra, Jr’s natal says something completely different. It is placed in his chart at 26 Leo and it’s unaspected to other planets.  This means that it doesn’t relate to the other planets in the chart.   This would have been under big stress when his parents divorced.  It’s placed in the 2d House of Money and Self-Esteem.  So the divorce probably intensified Sinatra, Jr.’s desire to be in show business and to be recognized but at the same time worked less well with the rest of his personality.  Interesting that Dad said that he didn’t want his son to follow in his footsteps.  Turns out that all the Sinatra children became singers.  Daughter Nancy even sang a song about Boots being made for walking.  There’s an interesting footsteps metaphor in there somewhere I’m sure.

Actor Mickey Rourke is the Poster Boy for Jupiter Opposition-Moon Square Child of Divorce.  He also shows the extreme good luck that is probably associated with Jupiter.  He often portrays characters who struggle with larger than life ideals.  And he also shows a great ability to bounce back.

I don’t have a birth time for Rourke so can’t find his Ascendant and angles.  His Moon is probably in Leo (acting) and might be conjunct Pluto and the South Node in his chart.  So, right there we see similarities with Frank Sinatra, Jr.s’ chart.  This shows the emotional depths that Rourke has gone to in his life.  Interesting that he has switched back and forth between Boxing career and an acting career during his life.  These switches occur right around the times of his Secondary Progressed Lunar Returns.  Rourke’s Acting Career started in 1979 during his first Prog. Lunar Return.  And he had a successful comeback in 2005 during his second progressed Lunar Return.

Jupiter is related to interests in sports and often I’ve noticed that Jupiter Return Children of D often develop childhood obsessions with Sports.  The whole idea that the Gessell Institute says that these children are moody and swing back and forth in their behaviors are shown literally in Rourke’s biography.  Literally, also, his career choice in sports involves needing to take a swing at the opponent.  He won his first boxing match at Age 12 which would have been just after his first Jupiter Return.  Rourke’s natal Jupiter is at 21 Taurus Retrograde.  It is squaring his natal North Node-Pluto and possibly Moon conjunction in Leo so Moon and Jupiter transits and progressions will always be connected with each other in his life.

The exceptional good luck and survival skills to reinvent himself may gain some help from the fact that Rourke has Pluto in conjunction with Jupiter and the Nodal Axis in his chart as well. This is a signature for success in life.  But, the trauma from the Divorce may have set Rourke on to an uncontrollable roller coaster as well.  I know that he has struggled to overcome some domestic violence problems as well as addiction problems.

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