Spoiled Children of Divorce


Adverse Childhood Experiences and Overuse of Social Media

According to a study reviewed in The American Journal of Preventative Medicine (VOLUME 60, ISSUE 4, P462-470, APRIL 01, 2021), children age 6 – 17 are three times more likely to suffer from overuse of digital media if they have an ACE Score of more than 4. Having good parents mitigates the problem.

That means that Children of Divorce are more vulnerable because they are much more likely to have at least one parent who is neglecting them.

Also means that they can get high paying jobs in the tech industry without going to college because they will have so much more practice than their peers. I also remember the little rash of teenage girls a while back who committed suicide after being raped at a party and cyber bullied with photos of the incident afterward.

https://www.ajpmonline.org/article/S0749-3797(20)30501-8/fu

There are 9 (or 10) factors included in the ACE study. Maybe I’m wrong but I don’t think that “Divorce” was counted in the original study. Rather death or disappearance of a parent was a factor. Each factor counts as one point:

There are 10 types of childhood trauma measured in the CDC-Kaiser Permanente Adverse Childhood Experiences Study. (There are many others…see below.) Five are personal — physical abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, physical neglect, and emotional neglect. Five are related to other family members: a parent who’s an alcoholic, a mother who’s a victim of domestic violence, a family member in jail, a family member diagnosed with a mental illness, and experiencing divorce of parents.

https://acestoohigh.com/got-your-ace-score/

The ACE Study was first performed by a Kaiser Doctor who worked with overweight patients and noticed a trend of childhood trauma in his patients. There is a link between childhood trauma and chronic illness later in life.



Professor T – Best Cop Show from Belgium (I think it’s from Belgium)
June 6, 2020, 7:37 pm
Filed under: Criminal tendencies, sex, sexual abuse, Uncategorized

Available on Amazon Prime until June 30 is a really amazing cop show. I think the show is from Belgium but I’ve never even thought about Belgium TV before so it seems I must be mistaken. The main character, Professor T, is a mentally ill Criminology Professor who is approached by a Federal Police Detective who had been his student. He has serious OCD and hallucinates occasionally as he is struggling with what looks like unresolved grief over his Father’s Suicide.

So, speaking of unresolved grief: the show occasionally discusses divorce and crime. It could do more. In the U.S. family court is the most violent court there is.

Criminology, apparently, is connected with Sociology and Sociologists will study pretty much anything. There is a Sociology textbook called The Family written by Philip N. Cohen which has a chapter on Divorce. It references some studies but, as usual, doesn’t really handle the topics with much interest. I took a class on Families with this textbook and did all my projects on Divorce but the teacher often corrected me on my negative (realistic) attitude about Children of Divorce. If you simply combine the words Children and Divorce you are conjuring up negativity.

So, in a very sick sort of way, I was thrilled to hear that Sex Offenders, at least in terms of Belgium TV, are highly likely to come from a family which divorced before they turned 16. They don’t give percentages and I don’t know if this is a statistical fact. The detectives mention Divorce as a motivating factor in a couple of other episodes. Although, I would prefer to hear about Children of Divorce in a more constructive way than just knowing that we all grow up to be criminals, it’s great to know that someone out there can at least speak the truth openly in public. Divorce is so stressful for a child that it makes the child much more likely to be a sex offender. Why is this? Is it Mommie’s boyfriends? Is it Daddy’s boyfriends? It is molestation by Mommy’s husband or by step-siblings? Is it just being left to be taken care of by strange adults because no one is home?  Is it because divorced parents are more likely to engage in addictive behaviors?



Exemplary Children of Divorce – Carol Knuth

Just watched this video of ex-Foster Child, Sexual Assault and Human Trafficking Victim Carol Knuth describing her childhood. I’m feeling a little queasy. I had no idea that a huge portion of trafficking victims grow up in Foster Homes but I guess it makes sense. Like everyone else I thought this is something that immigrants go through.

People like Carol are coming out to try to educate the rest of us about the Foster Care System along with Trafficking and Sexual Assault. Her survival is totaling amazing. She has since married, had children, has received two degrees, and has held powerful jobs.

The complaint about growing up as a “Child of Divorce” seems to be overpowered by the rest of the story but I feel that it might be the seed. Knuth’s parents divorced when she was two. She was the youngest of three girls who her Father sexually assaulted. He had told his daughters that their Mother had died. He remarried and divorced her Step-Mother when Carol was around 6th grade. Sorry I didn’t write very good notes so can’t provide the exact age. Carol and her sisters went to their first Foster home when she was three. When she was in her early teens she had to testify that her Father molested her. His daughters were taken away from him but he was never charged with any crime. Carol bounced in and out of around 21 homes. At one point her Foster Mother was dating her Father. The lack of concern for her feelings is such a major theme in her childhood. She tells the story so stoically. There seems to have been no end to the amount that people would not stand up for Carol until she was a working adult. Knuth tells how a co-worker assaulted her while they were in the break room. She just figured “same old, same old” and went back to her seat. But, this time another male co-worker had seen the assault and reported it. The offender was fired. This seems to be the first time in her life that anyone stood up for her.

Wow. That’s all I can say right now. She looks so straight. I would never have known from looking at her that she could be a survivor of this type of history.



Children of Divorce, Stalking, CyberSex

I don’t know if Children of Divorce are more likely to become Stalkers, but according to the book How To Stop a Stalker by Detective Mike Proctor they are more likely to be victimized by stalkers.   I’ve already discussed Stranger Danger and Divorce.  I’ve already stated that I think that grown Children of Divorce become victims more often than Children of Intact families.

Here is a quote from the chapter “Limiting Your Stalking Exposure”:

“…dealing with cyberpredators has shown that children in the following categories seem to be more at risk for being stalked than others on the Internet:  those who are shy, withdrawn, and/or who have low self-esteem; those with a weight problem; and those who have divorced parents.  We in law enforcement continually encounter such youths, who become victims not only of stalking but also of other crimes associated with being bullied and harassed, usually by their peers.  They are continually searching for acceptance.”

This information is paraphrased by the author from a meeting he had with Investigator Mike Harris who, along with his wife Cassandra, specializes in law enforcement investigations on cyberstalking of children.  This couple was interviewed by Oprah.  This was 10 years ago so I imagine that there is now more awareness of cyberstalking.

Sexual solicitations can be reported to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children CyberTipline (703) 274-3900.  I haven’t called to check if that number is still valid.  I wish that Psychology Schools would aggressively recruit burnt out cops because they could bring invaluable insight and skills into that profession.

I’ve said before that I think that introverted children might suffer from their parents’ divorces much more than extroverted children. I am certainly not an expert on this and am just giving my opinion but since no one else dares to have an opinion I might as well give mine.

I suspect that Divorce is a more comfortable experience for Extroverts than for Introverts.  I tend to suspect that Psychologists tend to be extroverts which is why they personally don’t think that there’s anything wrong with growing up in Divorced homes.  They also may have lower iq’s than the normal college graduate, and in most cases that average taxi driver, trash collector, electrician and plumber, but I suppose that will never be tested.

With all the media attention on bullying lately I wonder if any studies have focused on Children of Divorce to see if they are more or less likely to bully others.   I know that the folks from Intact Families who always have to state that they wished their parents had divorced are in a way bullying the Children of Divorce not to speak.  I mean, if it’s something that you always wanted, wouldn’t you be interested in what others who have actually experienced want to say about it rather than immediately butting in on their territory (so to speak) and whining with your grass is always greener problems?



Parents as Sex Traders

When your parents divorce, often your relationship with both of them changes.  Whereas, previously, you may have been closest to your Father, you may become closer to your Mother after the divorce.  Then there are the stories of the child who becomes so difficult and unmanageable under care of one parent, he/she has to change households and has to go live with the other parent.  And then there’s the story which I just saw last night on TV…

Saw a very frightening show last night on Sex Trafficking.  The United States has grown one of the biggest, if not the biggest, Sex Trafficking capital of the World.  Sorry I can’t remember the name of the show, was wanting to link to it.  I think it was on MSNBC.  Am certain I will repeat some inaccurate details here in trying to describe the situation.

A young girl in the Bay Area was repeatedly raped by her Father from the age of 3 onwards.  At the Age of 8 years old her Father began to pimp her in order to make enough money for the family to buy a house.  The parents divorced when she was a teen and at that time the Mother, needing money, began to pimp the girl.

So, there you go, horror stories beyond anything most of us can imagine.  Her parents are immigrants who follow beliefs that daughters can be treated this way.  I grew up with what I think are pretty conservative values for women’s place in the world.  I’ve discussed my own situation, no sexual abuse, so I’m not saying that this happens only in Asian families.  This is a problem for female children overall in dysfunctional families.

The whole time growing up, this girl maintained a straight A average in school and played on her Soccer team.  She was very close to a teacher, I believe her old Soccer coach.  This young woman then managed to get in to UC Berkeley where she began therapy in order to try to make sense out of her life.  I believe she said that she is now around 25 years old and has stopped talking with her parents since she was around 20 years old.  Her strength is incredible.  She is speaking out in order to help others who might be in this same situation.

The parents were interviewed on the show and didn’t admit to anything.



Brazil Feeds Girls From Broken Homes to Men Being Held in Jail

Read an article in USAToday which said that child abuse tends to go up when the country is in recession.  The article says that most of the abuse is aimed against babies and very young children as their parents can’t handle the stress of financial problems and caring for a child.  Why don’t pediatricians ever talk out about this type of problem as it is connected with Divorce.  Doesn’t matter I suppose.  My parents divorced during a recession so maybe the excuse is that I was abused because of the financial problems and not because of the divorce.  The type of mentality that can separate this stuff is called “Denial.”  Nobody practices “denial” more than folks connected with the medical profession — that’s only my opinion.

Really scary stories coming out of Brazil.  A 14 year old girl was released from a jail on Saturday night after being held in prison for 4 days.  She was gang raped the entire time by a group of men who were also in her cell.  Apparently this is typical.  The police capture young women on minor or even false charges in order to feed the men who are being kept in the jails.  A 15 year old girl was arrested (I originally wrote “captured” in stead of arrested because that’s a more accurate description) on Oct. 21, 2007 and held for weeks in a cell with 21 men.

Another time a 23 year old prostitute was held for a month as well.

This article describes how both the 15 year old and 23 year old victims were naturals for being victims of this type of crime because they come from “Broken Homes” and had been molested by step-fathers.

In the U.S., of course, nothing like this could possibly happen.  Nah, never.

I’ve discussed before the relationship I’ve noticed how the news of women who are murdered by Husbands/Boyfriends often seem to come from Broken Homes.  Even without the molestation from the step-father this seems to be a trend.  There’s  a statistic floating around on the internet which backs up my theory but haven’t got a clue if it’s accurate.

What’s fascinating about all the articles which discuss child abuse is that they never seem to come with information that will help the victims.  It seems that if a kid is reading that type of thing he/she should be given some advice.  Guess they can’t do that because the kids from intact homes will hog up all the services.  Kids with healthy self-esteem scream loudest.

 



Whose Borders Are the Minutemen Defending?

Ew, this is looking bad.  This is a difficult little post to write up. It looks like the Minutemen community has been assembled by Children of Divorce.  Maybe I’m wrong.  Because, of course, we don’t have statistics.  Makes sense.  As adults we try to fix what we didn’t have as a child.  And Children of Divorce don’t have borders.

Shawna Ford is a former Minuteman member who has just been sentenced to Death Row in Arizona for the murders of a Father and his Daughter in their home in Texas.  Forde’s bio states that she was booted from the original Minutemen group for being mentally unstable and formed her own group.

Is Shawna Ford from Divorce?  Well, yeah, hate to say it.  Ford had one bad childhood.  It’s described in the Daily Beast.

Ford was the 7th of 9 children who were from 5 different Fathers.  I guess that it’s sort of difficult to know whether you are officially from Divorce, in that case.  The school shrink would have tested Ford for ADHD before he/she would have counseled her on how to cope with that type of background.  Ford’s Mother abandonned her to a relative when Ford was 10 months old.  (Astro stuff:  natal Venus 30 Libra, she would have already have had her first Venus Return, n.Venus c. South Node in Libra, that explains the loveability issues along with narcissistic personality disorder, Mother gave her away because M’s b-f- didn’t like her).  (The newspapers are announcing that she is officially a Narcissistic Personality Disorder, you have to read on to find out why).

There were Foster Homes and then at Age 5 Ford was placed in a permanent home.  Or, at least, I think that’s what happened.  Ford has been in trouble in pretty much all places where trouble can exist.  Guess it’s a bit difficult to see the illegal aliens hogging up all the social services when you yourself could use some help.

So I looked up the original founders of the Minutemen.  The media writes them up as being completely insane.  http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2006-05-24-minuteman-goals_x.htm?csp=34.

Chris Simcox, a former kindergarten school teacher is a Child of Divorce.  It’s always amazing how the media never discusses divorce from a children’s point of view except when wanting to turn the public against the person who is being written about.  Like this article from USAToday. If the media were to persecute every immigrant who leads the exact same life that Simcox has led, I wouldn’t have a problem with it.  But, they don’t.  Anyway, Simcox is from Divorce.  He has been married 3 times himself and apparently is going through a journalism followed 3d divorce in which he threatens to kill everyone around him.  He has one child with his 2d wife, but has lost custody.  Guy has a bad dependency on guns, that’s for sure.  I wonder if his parents divorced when he was going through his Mars Return.

Simcox formed the Minutemen with James Gilchrist on Oct. 1, 2004.  They became a big hit really fast and it seems to have gone to their heads.  This is probably one statistical study that some Latina psych major will bite her teeth into:  What percentage of the Minutemen are Children of Divorce? Sorry, it just seems that Latinas do the Psych major thing a little too much, guess it reminds them of Lifetime TV.

If your parents didn’t make you feel secure, probably you will have complexes about how the Government doesn’t do anything about your security either.  Either way, Children of Divorce are probably more likely to act like vigilantes.  I mean, if you grow up in a blended home, you’re pretty much used to this type of tension already, aren’t you?  You are on your own.  You know you are replaceable.  You can’t complain the way the immigrants do.  You can’t even mention the big D in your Wikipedia entry, for Christ’s sake.

Other founder of the Minutemen, is James Gilchrist.  This guy is hopelessly conservative.  Wikipedia doesn’t mention what happened to Gilchrist’s Mother.  He’s still protecting her no doubt.  His greatest quote online, though, says it all.  “I have struck the mother lode of patriotism.”

Wikipedia says that Gilchrist lived in Kansas and Texas with his Father and older twin brothers.  And Gilchrist moved out at Age 17 to get away from his Father and Step-Mother.

Yo, doggy, it does look like the U.S. Borders are being protected by vigilante Children of Divorce.  Since I do agree with the basic idea that something needed to be done to control the huge influx of immigrants, I can’t say that the original intent was bad.  I’m very much against the guns.  So I’m adding to both Bad and Exemplary Children of Divorce categories.



Exemplary Children of Divorce – Senator Scott Brown of Massachusetts

Today Yahoo carries an article about an upcoming 60 Minutes interview with Senator Scott Brown who talks about being sexually molested by a Camp Counselor.  The article barely touches on the fact that Brown was molested by a Step-Father as well because, of course, growing up in Divorce and in blended families is never, ever discussed from a Child’s point of view.  Anyway, the molestation was never consummated and the counselor threatened to kill Brown if he said anything.  So, this is how it goes.  Brown posed almost nude for Cosmopolitan Magazine while he was in law school.  Often children who are molested, and women who are raped, will become promiscuous, not that Brown is promiscuous.

Brown talks about how Camp Counselors will take advantage of children who are from disadvantaged homes.  Guess they know who to prey on.  I’ve already discussed in previous posts that I’ve noticed (just observational, no statistics so hopefully there’s nothing to this) that women from divorce seem to show up in the news as victims of husband/partner abuse & homicide.

Brown’s entry on Wikipedia is more enlightening.  And, wow, if you can grow up in the situation that Brown grew up in and still manage to become a Senator, I guess parents really do have the right to toss out all those parenting manuals.  The human spirit is resilient (some of the time).

Brown’s parents divorced when he was around one year old.  That’s the Solar Return, maybe Mercury and Venus.  Astro Notes:  N. Sun 20 Virgo; N. Moon Cap or Sag;  n.Mercury 15 Virgo; n. Venus 2 Virgo.  By 1st Birthday (Solar Return) had had both Mercury and Venus Returns already, (same as Marilyn Monroe).  Mercury 1 Libra;  Venus 13 Libra.

Brown’s parents have each remarried three times.  Great financial difficulties in families, working Mother on welfare for a time.  Brown bounced between different relatives’ households.  I don’t know if he has siblings.  Brown is married and has two children.

60 Minutes, this upcoming Sunday.  I’ll watch it.  Brown is promoting his memoir which has just been published.